“I love you too, Little L, don’t worry about it.”
I feel bad knowing I upset a man who’s become so important to me. Someone who has been with me every step of the way through my surgery. He’s dropped everything to help me countless times.
“I like your tattoos,” I whisper, running my fingers over his skin.
“Thanks.” His sad voice and lack of jokes, makes me want to cry.
“Carrie would love them.”
He props himself up on an elbow, facing me with a cheeky grin. There’s my Owen.
“Yeah?”
“Yup, she’s a sucker for guys with muscles and tattoos.”
“That’s good to know. What are you a sucker for?”
“Bossholes.” I deadpan.
He chuckles, threading his fingers through mine.
“What’s the deal with Carrie?”
I shrug a shoulder, not meeting his gaze.
“She’s uncomfortable around guys, always has been. She was shy and quiet in school, overlooked very easily. It probably didn’t help that I was the outgoing cheerleader, always the center of attention.”
“She doesn’t like me, huh?”
“I don’t know... I think you scare her.”
“Go get dressed, Little L. You’re running outta time before mama and papa Scott show up.”
“Oh shit! I completely forgot!... Are we ok? I really am sorry.”
“We’re fine, sweetheart. I’ll stop by to see you later.”
I smack a big kiss on his cheek before I head to the door. I stop in the threshold, peeking at him over my shoulder.
“I love you, Big Man.”
“I love you too, Little L.”
37
Parker
LOGAN BLOWS THROUGH my apartment like a tornado. She’s nervous like never before. She showers in about three minutes, rushes to our room, slamming the door behind her. I let out a soft chuckle. I love how much she wants to make a good impression on my parents, but she doesn’t need to worry. They're both laid back and supportive people. They’ll love Logan because I love Logan.
I place an order to the little Italian restaurant down the street, it’s Logan’s favorite. I set the table and blow out a breath. There’s nothing else for me to do but sit and wait for them to show up.
I'm a neat freak... at home. My office is a disaster but my home is spotless. I can't explain it. With nothing to clean up and no food to prepare, I drop onto the couch and rest my feet on the coffee table.
I hope Logan can relax and be herself tonight when my parents are here, I don’t want her to be uncomfortable. A thought hits me, a smile spreads across my face. I know exactly how to make this better for Logan... I think.
Shooting off a group text message, I settle back into the couch. I lean my head back, closing my eyes for a few moments. I’ve been so tired lately. Logan doesn’t know it, but I wake up constantly to check on her. I hate having her sleep in a different room.
Sometimes I hear her moan in pain when she’s sound asleep. It makes me feel useless and incapable of taking care of her. If I could take away all of her pain, take it on myself, I would. In a heartbeat. I’d do anything for Logan and she doesn’t even realize it.
A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts. Logan comes rushing out of our room, smoothing her dress down and fixing her hair.
“Do I look ok? I feel like all I’ve worn lately is sweats.”
“You look beautiful, baby. Stop worrying.”
Gripping her hand in mine, we walk to the door. I wink at her before I open the door. Mom’s infectious smile spreads over her face, making dad smile too.
“Hey, honey. How are you?”
“I'm good, mom. Really good.” Mom wraps me in her embrace, squeezing tightly. When she lets go, her gaze shifts to Logan.
“Oh! Wow, you’re gorgeous.”
“Mom, Dad, this is Logan. Logan this is Daphne and Wade.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Scott.”
“Oh, please, call us Wade and Daph. Otherwise we sound old.”
“Well, ya kinda are.” Owen’s voice comes from the hall.
“Shut up, you little shit.” Dad drags Owen into a headlock, messing up his hair. It takes Owen a moment to get out of his grasp. He runs his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more.
“Watch it, old man. I'm not afraid to fight you.”
They both burst out laughing and pat each other on the backs. Lucas kisses mom on the cheek before shaking dad’s hand.
“Let’s all move into the living room and outta the doorway.” I lead Logan over, settling us on the couch.
Mom sits on the other side of Logan, while dad, Owen and Lucas take up the second couch.
“I’m so happy we’re finally getting to meet you, Logan. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“You have?” Her wide eyes find mine; I wince slightly. Nothing’s worse than having your mom tell your new girlfriend you talk about her all the time.
“Oh, yes! Parker doesn’t shut up about you. I hear you’re an amazing assistant.”
“I hear you saved the boys asses,” Dad adds with a shit-eating grin.
“Wanna hear all the fuckups you made with our dads? I gotta list ready.” Owen raises a brow, but his voice is full of amusement.
“No need, I know each and every one of them. You don’t become the best in the business without a few setbacks.”
“Damn straight. But Little L is the best, saved us her first week on the job. We didn’t even ask her to look into the company.”
Dad’s eyes widen, guess he didn’t know that little bit of information.
“Really?”
“Yes. Parker asked me to attend their meeting and I didn’t want to be the only clueless person there. I researched for a few hours the night before. During the meeting Mr. Smyth made his company sound amazing but what he was saying wasn’t matching up to what I remembered reading the night before.”
“Son, don’t let this one go. She seems pretty amazing.”
“She is,” I whisper softly, stroking the back of Logan’s hand with my thumb.
38
Logan
DAPHNE DROPS DOWN ON the couch next to me. The men are all in the kitchen, cleaning up dinner and doing the dishes.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” There’s a level of concern in her tone I don’t expect. She barely knows me but she seems to have so much compassion and empathy for me.
“I'm doing ok. Still a little sore.”
“I remember that. It takes so long to get back to feeling like yourself. If you don’t mind me asking... What were the results?”
“It seems like it’s the same type of cancer I had last time. It hasn’t spread to my lymph system. The surgeon thinks maybe he didn’t get all of it last time.”
“Are you getting radiation or chemo?”
“Just chemo for a few months. But I’ll be getting more frequent checkups for the next few years.”
“How are you emotionally?” She gives me a knowing look.
“Did Parker talk to you?”
“No, sweetie. He’d never tell me personal stuff like that. I just remember how hard it was for me. I had a double mastectomy. I remember being so thankful they caught it in time. Parker was only in elementary school at the time and I couldn’t imagine him growing up without me. But part of me hated knowing I lost a part of myself. I felt like less of a woman, like I wasn’t feminine anymore. Wade helped me a lot back then. He told me how beautiful I was every day. He made me feel like I was feminine and the same woman. He’s the one who saved me from that mindset.”
“That’s amazing. He seems like a good man.”
“He is... Parker’s exactly like him, just a little rougher around the edges. Parker’s always been guarded and tough to deal with, but once you get past his hard shell, he’s a total sweetheart.” She glances over her shoulder at her son. Pride fills her gaze; she loves him so much. “Owen’s the same way. Lucas
is the only one who wears his soft side like a badge of honor, but he can be just as vicious as the other two.”
“I honestly can't imagine not having the three of them in my life. They’re amazing men to have in your corner.”
“They are. I hope you stick around.”
“We’re not letting her go.” Owen plops down beside me, putting an arm around my shoulders.
“Are you behaving at work, Owen?”
“Mama Scott! Have I ever misbehaved at work?” A shocked expression fills Owen’s features, his hand flies to his chest.
“You know Doris and I go out for lunch a few times a month, right?” She raises a brow.
“In that case,” The shock evaporates, replaced by a devilish smirk. “I get in trouble constantly. Do ya really expect anything else, Mama Scott?” He shrugs his shoulders.
She pats his knee in a motherly way, a genuine smile playing on her lips.
“No, sweet boy, I’d never expect you to behave.”
“Ugh. Sweet boy? You’re gonna ruin my reputation.” He grimaces, rising off the couch, heading back to the guys. He calls over his shoulder as he walks away. “I gotta go drink some hard liquor and get my man card back after that comment.”
“You’d have to have a man card to lose it.” Lucas laughs, taking another sip of an amber liquid.
“That’s rich, coming from the biggest pussy in the room, Logan and Mama Scott included.”
Lucas glares, but doesn’t add anything. He turns back to Mr. Scott, continuing their conversation like Owen never spoke. There’s some brewing tension between two of my boys, but I'm not sure why.
39
Parker
“PARKER...” LOGAN WHINES from the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” I toss another empty box onto the floor. I feel like we’re never going to be done unpacking. I swear she had more crammed into her seven hundred square foot apartment than I have in my four thousand square foot condo.
I chuckle when I get to the bathroom door, finding Logan on the floor, hair a mess, things spread out on the ground around her. She ducks back under the sink, pulling even more out.
“What are you doing, sweetness?” Leaning my shoulder against the door frame, I cross my arms over my chest, a smirk in place.
“I can't fit everything under here! There’s too much crap.”
“So, throw some of it out.”
Her eyes snap to me, I instantly regret my comment. Living with a woman is going to take some adjusting, but I’d do anything to keep Logan here.
“I can't just throw it out. It’s all my makeup, hair stuff and everything else I need! But you have so much under here.”
“So, throw out my stuff.” I shrug a shoulder. I don’t give a shit about any of it.
“Parker! I'm serious. There’s isn't enough room for both of our stuff... I guess I could keep my things in the hall bath and get ready in there...”
I squat down next to her; take an entire box of shit I don’t care about and toss it in the trashcan. Her eyes widen to a comical point, a gasp leaves those kissable lips.
“Parker! You can't just do that.” She gestures wildly to the trashcan.
“Why not?”
“That stuff’s expensive and it’s your things.”
I stand, closing the distance between us, holding out a hand to her. Logan takes it instantly, warming my heart. Pulling her up, I take her chin in my fingers, lifting until she’s forced to look at me.
“Baby, I don’t care about any of it. I want you here even if it means all my things are moved or thrown out. I don’t care about the material things, only you. It’s just stuff, if you throw out something I actually want, I’ll buy a new one.”
“That’s stupid. I just have so much stuff, I don’t wanna take over your space though. This is still your home, not mine.”
“This is your home,” I growl. “I never want to hear you say it’s not. This is your home, our home. I’ll change the damn deed if it makes you feel better.”
“You’re not changing the deed. What if things don’t work out between us? What if one day you don’t like my shit being all over your stuff? What if you don’t want to see my bras on the back of the bathroom door? Or my shoes thrown by the closet because I'm too lazy to put them away like you do? What if you decide I'm not what you want?”
I lean down, making myself eye level with Logan. She’s fucking crazy if she thinks I’d ever want her gone. She’s it for me, there will never be another woman I want in my home, in my life.
“I'm never going to change my mind about you. Things will work out because we want them to.”
“But what if-”
“No, baby, no more what ifs. We’re going to live with each other. We’re going to get engaged and then get married. We’re going to be in love for the rest of our lives.”
“Parker... I need to talk to you about something.”
Her eyes fill with tears, catching me by surprise. Lifting her into my arms, I go to our bed, placing her down gently. I crawl in next to her, my back against the headboard, and tug her into my arms.
“What’s going on?”
She draws on my chest with her finger, staying silent for a few minutes. I don’t push her to talk, giving her a chance to put her thoughts into words.
“I don’t want to have kids...” Her words are barely a whisper. She doesn’t look at me, doesn’t do anything but continue running her fingers over my bare skin.
“Logan...”
“If that’s a deal breaker I can move back into my apartment.”
“Baby...”
“No, I get it. I really do. Most people want kids, I'm not going to blame you for that.”
“Can I-”
“It’s not your fault I don’t want them, you deserve to have the life you want. I’ll just pack up my stuff before we unpack the rest.”
I open my mouth again, this time she cuts me off before I can even say a word.
“I wonder if Owen can give me the number to the moving company. Wow, that’d be so embarrassing, having them move my stuff out of here and back to my old place within two days. Maybe I’ll find a different company to use.”
I let out a sigh, flipping her on her back. A gasp leaves her mouth, but she finally stops talking. I straddle her hips, pinning her hands next to her head, staring down at her.
“You gonna let me talk now?”
Wide eyes stare back at me. She nods, wordlessly, like a good little girl.
“I don’t want you to open your mouth until I’m done.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but I’m faster. I press my lips to hers, preventing her from talking.
“I said no. Got it?”
Another wordless nod, this time with a scowl.
“Good... You don’t want kids?”
She shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears again.
“I’m ok with that, Logan. Do I really seem like the dad type?”
She glances up at her hands pinned above her head. She’s holding her thumb and forefinger close together on both hands. I can’t help but chuckle. I love this woman.
“I’m not. I could be a fun uncle but I don’t think I’d be the best dad. If you wanted kids, I’d happily have them with you, but it’s not necessary for me... I’m curious though... Why don’t you want them? You’d be a fantastic mom.”
She stares back at me, doesn’t say a single word. When her lips turn up into a devilish smirk, I roll my eyes.
“Now you can talk.”
“Thanks, boss... My dad had cancer, so did his mom and her mom. I’m worried that my child would get cancer and I couldn’t handle knowing I’m the reason they got it. I don’t want to pass on these genes. I don’t want that thought always lingering in the back of my mind, wondering when they’re going to be diagnosed. What type will they get? Will it be caught in enough time for treatment? Will it be an aggressive form? Will I be around to help them through it, or will they be alone like I was?... I can’t handle th
at, Parker.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. We don’t have to have kids at all. I’m happy being just us... but if you wanted to have some, we could always adopt. They wouldn’t share your DNA.”
She shakes her head, the first tear escapes, making my chest ache. There’s nothing I hate more than seeing my girl cry.
“I’d always be terrified. I can’t handle the thought of getting cancer again and this time not surviving... How many times can you get cancer and survive? I’ve had it twice, Parker. Twice! It could happen again.”
“And you’ll beat it again. I’ll be right by your side through everything. We’ll have ups and downs, none of it matters as long as I have you by my side.”
“I don’t deserve you,” She whispers.
“No, you don’t. You deserve so much better than me, but I’m happy you settled.”
She rolls her eyes, but I catch the small smirk she’s trying to hide.
“Is that a smirk, Ms. Johnson?”
“No, Mr. Scott. I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Damn, I love the way you say my name.”
“Mr. Scott...” She whispers in a breathy moan and I groan. “Parker. Which do you like better? Parker or Mr. Scott.”
“I don’t give a damn, as long as my name is the only one you say like that.”
I crash my lips into hers, she wiggles and moans beneath me. I free her arms, but only so I can run my hands over every inch of her body. She moans into my kisses, her fingers trail up and down my torso, over my shoulders and down my arms.
“I love you, Logan.”
“I love you, Mr. Scott.”
40
Logan
“I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU deal with him all the time. He’s just sooo... ugh!” Carrie throws her hands up in frustration.
“He’s harmless.” I chuckle, taking a sip of my hot chocolate.
We met in a little café down the street from Parker’s... I mean my place. Since I moved in with Parker, Carrie and I haven’t been able to get a single second to hang out alone. If Parker isn't there, Owen or Lucas stop by. When Parker is home, he wants to be right there with us. I love all of them to death, but sometimes I just need to spend time with Carrie... Alone.
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