Thank you.
Thank you. And farewell.
* * *
I can ponder for an eternity. I am dead. I have all the time I want.
But I was never very patient.
* * *
In and around the glass room, which no longer has glass and probably no longer qualifies as a room, battle rages.
Itempas and Nahadoth have taken their fight to the skies they once shared. Above the motes they have become, dark streaks break the gradient of dawn, like strips of night layered over the morning. A blazing white beam, like the sun but a thousand times brighter, sears across these to shatter them. There is no point to this. It is daytime. Nahadoth would already be asleep within his human prison if not for Itempass parole. Itempas can revoke that parole whenever he wishes. He must be enjoying himself.
Scimina has gotten Viraines knife. She has flung herself on Relad, trying to gut him. Hes stronger, but she has leverage and the strength of ambition on her side. Relads eyes are wide with terror; perhaps he has always feared something like this.
Sieh, Zhakkarn, and Kurue feint and circle in a deadly metal-and-claw dance. Kurue has conjured a pair of gleaming bronze swords to defend herself. This contest, too, is foregone; Zhakkarn is battle incarnate, and Sieh has all the power of childhoods cruelty. But Kurue is wily, and she has the taste of freedom in her mouth. She will not die easily.
Amid all this, Dekarta moves toward my body. He stops and struggles to his knees; in the end he slips in my blood and half-falls on me, grimacing in pain. Then his expression hardens. He looks up into the sky, where his god fights, then down. At the Stone. It is the source of the Arameri clans power; it is also the physical representation of their duty. Perhaps he hopes that by doing that duty, he will remind Itempas of the value of life. Perhaps he retains some smidgeon of faith. Perhaps it is simply that forty years ago, Dekarta killed his wife to prove his commitment. To do otherwise now would mock her death.
He reaches for the Stone.
It is gone.
But it was there, lying in my blood, a moment before. Dekarta frowns, looks around. His eyes are attracted by movement. The hole in my chest, which he can see through the torn cloth of my bodice: the raw lips of the wound are drawing together, pressing themselves closed. As the line of the wound shrinks, Dekarta catches a glimmer of thin gray light. Within me.
Then I am drawn forward, down
Yes. Enough of this disembodied soul business. Time to be alive again.
* * *
I opened my eyes and sat up.
Dekarta, behind me, made a sound somewhere between choking and a gasp. No one else noticed as I got to my feet, so I turned to face him.
Whwhat in every gods name His mouth worked. He stared.
Not every god, I said. And because I was still me after all, I leaned down to smile in his face. Just me.
Then I closed my eyes and touched my chest. Nothing beat beneath my fingers; my heart had been destroyed. Yet something was there, giving life to my flesh. I could feel it. The Stone. A thing of life, born of death, filled with incalculable potential. A seed.
Grow, I whispered.
29
The Three
AS WITH ANY BIRTH, there was pain.
I believe I screamed. I think that in that instant many things occurred. I have a vague sense of the sky wheeling overhead, cycling day through day and night and back to morning in the span of a breath. (If this happened, then what moved was not the sky.) I have a feeling that somewhere in the universe an uncountable number of new species burst into existence, on millions of planets. I am fairly certain that tears fell from my eyes. Where they landed, lichens and moss began to cover the floor.
I cannot be certain of any of this. Somewhere, in dimensions for which there are no mortal words, I was changing, too. This occupied a great deal of my awareness.
But when the changes were done, I opened my eyes and saw new colors.
The room practically glowed with them. The iridescence of the floors Skystuff. Glints of gold from glass shards lying about the room. The blue of the skyit had been a watery blue-white, but now it was such a vivid teal that I stared at it in wonder. It had never, at least in my lifetime, been so blue.
Next I noticed scent. My body had become something else, less a body than an embodiment, but its shape for the moment was still human, as were my senses. And something was different here, too. When I inhaled, I could taste the crisp, acrid thinness of the air, underlaid by the metallic scent of the blood that covered my clothing. I touched my fingers to this and tasted it. Salt, more metal, hints of bitter and sour. Of course; I had been unhappy for days before I died.
New colors. New scents in the air. I had never realized, before now, what it meant to live in a universe that had lost one-third of itself. The Gods War had cost us so much more than mere lives.
No more, I vowed.
Around me the chaos had stopped. I did not want to talk, to think, but a sense of responsibility pushed insistently against my reverie. At last I sighed and focused on my surroundings.
To my left stood three shining creatures, stronger than the rest, more malleable in form. I recognized in them an essence of myself. They stared at me, weapons frozen in hand or on claw, mouths agape. Then one of them moulded himself into a different shapea childand came forward. His eyes were wide. M-Mother?
That was not my name. I would have turned away in disinterest had it not occurred to me that this would hurt him. Why did that matter? I didnt know, but it bothered me.
So instead I said, No. On impulse, I reached out to stroke his hair. His eyes got even wider, then spilled over with tears. He pulled away from me then, covering his face. I did not know what to make of this behavior, so I turned to the others.
Three more to my rightor rather, two, and one dying. Also shining creatures, though their light was hidden within them, and their bodies were weaker and crude. And finite. The dying one expired as I watched, too many of his organs having been damaged to sustain life. I felt the rightness of their mortality even as I mourned it.
What is this? demanded one of them. The younger one, the female. Her gown and hands were splattered with her brothers blood.
The other mortal, old and close to death himself, only shook his head, staring at me.
Then suddenly two more creatures stood before me, and I caught my breath at the sight. I could not help myself. They were so beautiful, even beyond the shells they wore to interact with this plane. They were part of me, kin, and yet so very different. I had been born to be with them, to bridge the gap between them and complete their purpose. To stand with them nowI wanted to throw back my head and sing with joy.
But something was wrong. The one who felt like light and stillness and stabilityhe was whole, and glorious. Yet there was something unwholesome at his core. I looked closer and perceived a great and terrible loneliness within him, eating at his heart like a worm in an apple. That sobered me, softened me, because I knew what that kind of loneliness felt like.
The same blight was in the other being, the one whose nature called to everything dark and wild. But something more had been done to him; something terrible. His soul had been battered and crushed, bound with sharp-edged chains, then forced into a too-small vessel. Constant agony. He had gone down on one knee, staring at me through dull eyes and lank, sweat-soaked hair. Even his own panting caused him pain.
It was an obscenity. But a greater obscenity was the fact that the chains, when I followed them to their source, were part of me. So were three other leashes, one of which led to the neck of the creature who had called me Mother.
Revolted, I tore the chains away from my chest and willed them to shatter.
The three creatures to my left all gasped, folding in on themselves as power returned to them. Their reaction was nothing, however, compared to that of the dark being. For an instant he did not move, only widening his eyes as the chains loosened and fell away.
Then he flung his head back and s
creamed, and all existence shifted. On this plane, this manifested as a single, titanic concussion of sound and vibration. All sight vanished from the world, replaced by a darkness profound enough to drive weaker souls mad if it lasted for more than a heartbeat. It passed even more quickly than that, replaced by something new.
Balance: I felt its return like the setting of a dislocated joint. Out of Three had the universe been formed. For the first time in an age, Three walked again.
When all was still, I saw that my dark one was whole. Where once restless shadows had flickered in his wake, now he shone with an impossible negative radiance, black as the Maelstrom. Had I thought him merely beautiful before? Ah, but now there was no human flesh to filter his cool majesty. His eyes glowed blue-black with a million mysteries, terrifying and exquisite. When he smiled, all the world shivered, and I was not immune.
Yet this shook me on an entirely different level, because suddenly memory surged through me. They were pallid, these memories, as of something half-forgottenbut they pushed at me, demanding acknowledgment, until I made a sound and shook my head and batted at the air in protest. They were part of me, and though I understood now that names were as ephemeral as form for my kind, those memories insisted upon giving the dark creature a name: Nahadoth.
And the bright one: Itempas.
And me
I frowned in confusion. My hands rose in front of my face, and I stared at them as if I had never seen them. In a way, I had not. Within me was the gray light I had so hated before, transformed now into all the colors that had been stolen from existence. Through my skin I could see those colors dancing along my veins and nerves, no less powerful for being hidden. Not my power. But it was my flesh, wasnt it? Who was I?
Yeine, said Nahadoth in a tone of wonder.
A shudder passed through me, the same feeling of balance Id had a moment before. Suddenly I understood. It was my flesh, and my power, too. I was what mortal life had made me, what Enefa had made me, but all that was in the past. From henceforth I could be whomever I wanted.
Yes, I said, and smiled at him. That is my name.
* * *
Other changes were necessary.
Nahadoth and I turned to face Itempas, who watched us with eyes as hard as topaz.
Well, Naha, he said, though the hate in his eyes was all for me. I must congratulate you; this is a fine coup. I thought killing the girl would be sufficient. Now I see I should have obliterated her entirely.
That would have taken more power than you possess, I said. A frown flickered across Itempass face. He was so easy to read; did he realize that? He still thought of me as a mortal, and mortals were insignificant to him.
You arent Enefa, he snapped.
No, Im not. I could not help smiling. Do you know why Enefas soul lingered all these years? It wasnt because of the Stone.
His frown deepened with annoyance. What a prickly creature he was. What did Naha see in him? No, that was jealousy speaking. Dangerous. I would not repeat the past.
The cycle of life and death flows from me and through me, I said, touching my breast. Within it, somethingnot quite a heartbeat strong and even. Even Enefa never truly understood this about herself. Perhaps she was always meant to die at some point; and now, perhaps I am the only one of us who will never be truly immortal. But by the same token, neither can I truly die. Destroy me and some part will always linger. My soul, my flesh, perhaps only my memorybut it will be enough to bring me back.
Then I simply wasnt thorough enough, Itempas said, and his tone promised dire things. Ill be sure to rectify that next time.
Nahadoth stepped forward. The dark nimbus that surrounded him made a faint crackling sound as he moved, and white flecksmoisture frozen out of the airdrifted to the floor in his wake.
There will be no next time, Tempa, he said with frightening gentleness. The Stone is gone and I am free. I will tear you apart, as I have planned for all the long nights of my imprisonment.
Itempass aura blazed like white flames; his eyes glowed like twin suns. I threw you broken to the earth once before, Brother, and I can do it again
Enough, I said.
Nahadoths answer was a hiss. He crouched, his hands suddenly monstrous claws at his sides. There was a blur of movement and suddenly Sieh was beside him, a feline shadow. Kurue moved as if to join Itempas, but instantly Zhakkarns pike was at her throat.
None of them paid any attention to me. I sighed.
The knowledge of my power was within me, as instinctive as how to think and how to breathe. I closed my eyes and reached for it, and felt it uncurl and stretch within me, ready. Eager.
This was going to be fun.
The first blast of power that I sent through the palace was violent enough to stagger everyone, even my quarrelsome brothers, who fell silent in surprise. I ignored them and closed my eyes, tapping and shaping the energy to my will. There was so much! If I was not careful, I could so easily destroy rather than create. On some level I was aware of being surrounded by colored light: cloudy gray, but also the rose of sunset and the white-green of dawn. My hair wafted in it, shining. My gown swirled about my ankles, an annoyance. A flick of my will and it became a Darren warriors garments, tight-laced sleeveless tunic and practical calf-length pants. They were an impractical shining silver, butwell, I was a goddess, after all.
Wallsrough, brown, tree-barkappeared around us. They did not completely enclose the room; here and there were gaps, though as I watched those filled. Branches nearby grew, split, and sprouted curling leaves. Above us the sky was still visible, though dimmer, thanks to the leafy canopy that now spread there. Through that canopy rose a titanic tree trunk, gnarling and curving high into the sky.
In fact the trees topmost branches pierced the sky. If I looked down on this world from above I would see white clouds and blue seas and brown earth and a single magnificent tree, breaking the planets smooth round curve. If I flew closer I would see roots like mountains, nestling the whole of Sky-the-city between the forks. I would see branches as long as rivers. I would see people on the ground below, shaken and terrified, crawling out of their homes and picking themselves up from the sidewalks to stare in awe at the great tree that had twined itself around the Skyfathers palace.
In fact I saw all of these things without ever opening my eyes. Then I did open them, to find my brothers and children staring at me.
Enough, I said again. This time they paid attention. This realm cannot endure another Gods War. I will not permit it.
You will not permit? Itempas clenched his fists, and I felt the heavy, blistering smolder of his power. For a moment it frightened me, and with good reason. He had bent the universe to his will at the beginning of time; he far outstripped me in experience and wisdom. I didnt even know how to fight as gods fought. He did not attack because there were two of us to his one, but that was the only thing holding him back.
Then there is hope, I decided.
As if reading my thoughts, Nahadoth shook his head. No, Yeine. His eyes were black holes in his skull, ready to swallow worlds. The hunger for retribution curled off him like smoke. He murdered Enefa even though he loved her. Hell have no qualms at all over you. We must destroy him, or be destroyed ourselves.
A quandry. I held no grudge against Itempashe had murdered Enefa, not me. But Nahadoth had millennia of pain to expunge; he deserved justice. And worse, he was right. Itempas was mad, poisoned by his own jealousy and fear. One did not allow the mad to roam free, lest they hurt others or themselves.
Yet killing him was also impossible. Out of Three had the universe been made. Without all Three, it would all end.
I can think of only one solution, I said softly. And even that was imperfect. After all, I knew from experience how much damage even a single mortal could inflict on the world, given enough time and power. We would just have to hope for the best.
Nahadoth frowned as he read my intention, but some of the hate flowed out of him. Yes; I had thought this might satisfy him. He n
odded once in agreement.
Itempas stiffened as he realized what we meant to do. Language had been his invention; we had never really needed words. I will not tolerate this.
You will, I said, and joined my power with Nahadoths. It was an easy fusion, more proof that we Three were meant to work together and not at odds. Someday, when Itempas had served his penance, perhaps we could truly be Three again. What wonders we would create then! I would look forward to it, and hope.
You will serve, Nahadoth said to Itempas, and his voice was cold and heavy with the weight of law. I felt reality reshape itself. We had never really needed a separate language, either; any tongue would do, as long as one of us spoke the words. Not a single family, but all the world. You will wander among mortals as one of them, unknown, commanding only what wealth and respect you can earn with your deeds and words. You may call upon your power only in great need, and only to aid these mortals for whom you hold such contempt. You will right all the wrongs inflicted in your name.
Nahadoth smiled then. This smile was not cruelhe was free and had no need of cruelty anymorebut neither was there mercy in him. I imagine this task will take some time.
Itempas said nothing, because he could not. Nahadoths words had taken hold of him, and with the aid of my power the words wove chains that no mortal could see or sever. He fought the chaining, once unleashing his power against ours in a furious blast, but it was no use. A single member of the Three could never hope to defeat the other two. Itempas had used those odds in his own favor long enough to know better.
But I could not leave it at that. A proper punishment was meant to redeem the culprit, not just assuage the victims.
Your sentence can end sooner, I said, and my words, too, curved and linked and became hard around him, if you learn to love truly.
Itempas glared at me. He had not been driven to his knees by the weight of our power, but it was a near thing. He stood now with back bowed, trembling all over, the white flames of his aura gone and his face sheened with a very mortal sweat. I will never love you, he gritted through his teeth.
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms Page 31
