by Cassie James
My new flippant attitude doesn’t make my faux mother any less unbearable, of course. It took her a full two weeks to give me my phone and laptop back this time around, and they were beyond wiped. They’d been set all the way back to factory settings. Like she’d tried to do to me.
My lips purse as I hunker down over the laptop in front of me, trying—and miserably failing—to tune out the sound of the guys and Macie arguing over a bizarre game of Fuck, Marry, Kill as I try to re-type the Psych paper that was a casualty of Jackie’s info wipe. I grit my teeth as I try to concentrate, failing hopelessly to ignore the fact that Macie’s insisting that they can play with groups instead of individuals since, “That’s what you all are into anyway.” Jesus, Mace.
After a few more minutes of their heated chatter, I slam my hands on the lunch table, drawing their attention to me. “Do you guys mind? I’m trying to work here.”
Jude smirks as he drops an arm around my shoulder, pulling me against his side. “Chill out, Piper, it’s just a paper. Ms. Diaz thinks you shit rainbows, you could completely half-ass it, and she’d still probably give you an A.” I’m not sure if he’s trying to reassure me or make fun of me, but either way, I’m pissed off at the implication that I’d take advantage of one of the few people who’s actually been consistently nice to me. I dig my elbow into his side, but he only laughs. “You wanna tell Macie she’s wrong, too? You don’t play Fuck, Marry, Kill with groups, so she absolutely has to pick between the Golden Girls.”
“No,” I hiss, pushing against him, huffing when he refuses to let go of me. “What I want to do,” I say as I close the laptop and slide under his arm, “is to finish re-typing this fucking paper. Thanks to Jackie, I’m having to pull bits and pieces back from my log. It’s like two months worth of log to sort through to find everything I typed.”
I reach under the table to gather my bag, tucking my computer away and fishing out my lip balm, too. As I push away from the table, I swipe the lip balm on then turn back with a warning. “I’m going to the library. Don’t you dare follow me. I have to get this done, and I can’t concentrate with you guys constantly jackassing around.”
I’m about to walk away when Jude grabs a handful of my skirt to keep me in place. I sigh as I look down and see goddamn puppy eyes turned toward me. It’s so hard to deny him, especially when he giving me that look that’s so unlike him with anyone else but me. I force myself to square my shoulders as I narrow my eyes. “C’mon, Piper, you can work on your paper at home. It’ll give you an excuse to stay locked in your room away from your crazy fucking mom anyway.”
He’s not wrong, I do like any excuse to lock myself away from the woman. I groan, but drop back into my seat between Jude and Brennan. Jude’s fingers loosen their grasp on my skirt as I drop my bag with a heavy thud on the table.
“Okay.” Brennan turns his hand over on the table, a clear invitation for me to lace our fingers together. The smallest of smiles pulls over my lips as I take his hand, relishing in the way he immediately begins running his thumb over my knuckles. “So, completely ignoring Macie’s apparent group sex preferences, let’s get back to this. Dwayne Johnson, Oprah… and Dr. Charles.”
I’m trying to listen now, I really am, but my attention goes distinctly elsewhere as I feel Jude’s hand drop to my thigh. I make a point not to look at him as he squeezes, then starts to massage the skin, fingers inching upward to slide under the hem of my skirt. His hand starts to move toward the inside of my thighs but I clench them closed. Partially to alleviate some of the immediate ache I feel between my legs, and partially because I know I need to stop Jude from pushing things too far in the cafeteria.
Whispers already follow us around school, people confused by the casual way I seem to be dating all three of The Thorns. And it’s not that I really care about any of that because people can accept it or not, that’s on them. But I’m not prepared to face the embarrassment of people talking about one of my boyfriends getting me off at the lunch table. I drop my other hand below the table to grab his wrist, tightening my grip when he laughs. Everyone else is fucking oblivious, but I can’t even pretend I’m capable of ignoring Jude’s hands on me.
I have to part my legs slightly to get a good grip on his hand, and he takes advantage of that, brushing his knuckles against me, dragging a low gasp from my lips. “Stop,” I whisper breathlessly as I widen my eyes at him. His answering smirk makes me squirm, but he lets me pull his hand away and lace our fingers before dropping our hands together in my lap over my skirt. He leans in and kisses me quickly, and I swear the whispers start immediately.
I can’t even actually tell who’s talking about us, but my shoulders stiffen anyway. Flaunting my relationship with the guys definitely isn’t my style, but we can’t seem to keep our hands off of each other, holding hands in the lunchroom, hands brushing over my lower back, arms dropping around my shoulders, quick kisses between class—if there’s an opportunity for a stolen touch, we take it. But people talk, and while nothing that makes its way back to me is particularly unkind, it doesn’t keep it from making me just a little nervous.
I think mostly people don’t understand our dynamic, but they’re The Thorns, and I’m me, so no one ever says anything to our faces. Jude squeezes my hand, like he can tell what I’m thinking without me saying it, and I relax slightly. It doesn’t matter what these people think. They’re not saying anything to our face, and I have my boys—that’s what really matters.
I’m not responsible for anyone else’s opinions.
As we draw closer to the break, the air around school starts to turn giddy. The talk and laughter all gets louder in the halls. People start talking about their plans. For once, no one seems to be talking about me or The Thorns—not even whispering amongst themselves. It’s a respite I desperately needed.
But the closer we get to spring break, the more morose I start to feel. Macie’s parents are taking her and Tori to Cabo San Lucas for the break, and even though she’d asked me to come with them, the thought of being stuck anywhere with Tori for a week was enough of a turn off for me to quickly decline. The guys are all going to be either gone or preoccupied, too. Jude’s shooting a TV cameo the entire week, Ms. Diaz is taking Izzy and Brennan somewhere in northern California that’s making Bren bitch about the lack of reliable cell phone and internet service, and Tyler’s family is going to Vancouver again. The thought of dealing with Jackie for ten days without a buffer brings my mood way fucking down, and I think I might be the only person in the entire school who isn’t looking forward to break.
“I just… ugh, Ty, can you imagine being stuck with Jackie for ten days straight? I’m going to lose my goddamn mind, it’s not even a question.” I’m whining, and I know it, but I can’t seem to stop myself. Tyler shakes his head at me before pulling me against his chest and hugging me tight.
“Pipe, you’re going to be fine,” he reassures me, but I shake my head and bury my face in his chest. I take a deep breath, letting his scent fill my nose and offer me the slightest bit of comfort. “Jackie’s been working all the time anyway, right? Just hang out in your room when she’s home, don’t look twice at the pool, and try to enjoy your first—and last—high school spring break.”
“I just wish I was going somewhere like you guys. You know her insane ass is going to hover all week long,” I whine into his chest, and he’s laughing at me, his chest rumbling under my cheek with the force of it. Asshole. “Stop laughing at me, Ty. It’s like being in prison, and there aren’t even any sexy guards there to distract me from the fact that my life is misery.”
He only laughs harder. “Oh, I’m sorry. Am I not hot enough for you? You need some sexy prison guards now, too?” he teases. I pull my head away from his chest to glare up at him. Tyler’s eyes are shining with his amusement, and I can’t help but be struck stupid for a minute by the sight of how gorgeous he looks as he laughs yet again.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” I tell him as his laughter finally starts t
o subside to quiet chuckling, instead. “You look fine or whatever.”
“You’re the sweetest, babe,” he mutters with an eye roll, but he rewards me with a quick kiss anyway. Or at least, I think it was meant to be a quick kiss. As I fist his shirt in my hands, his tongue swiping across my bottom lip, it turns into something else entirely. My lips fall open easily, and I’m only barely aware of him shuffling us backwards until my back is pressed against the cool metal of the lockers behind me. I arch into his touch, pressing as closely as I can against him as his tongue delves into my mouth, exploring and caressing with a gentle ease that makes my entire body tingle. His hands settle as low on my thighs as they can reach from this position, fingers just barely grazing the skin below the hemline of my skirt.
I’m so hazy with lust that I don’t immediately recognize the familiar throat clearing that comes from behind him. “Mr. Hamilton, do you mind?” Horror comes over me as I pull away, burying my face in Tyler’s chest again, this time in the hopes of concealing myself. Ms. Diaz continues, “I’m sure you’re quite fond of your friend here, but you need to remember where you are. Which is in public. At your school. Save the extracurriculars for another time and place, Tyler.”
“Sorry, Ms. Diaz,” he murmurs as he starts to turn away from me. I hold tight to his shirt, though, forcing him to stay in place. I don’t know what Brennan’s mom knows, but I have a gut feeling it won’t look good if she realizes I’m the one canoodling with Tyler in the halls.
Tyler wraps his hands around my wrist and pulls at my hands, even as I continue trying to hide my face. Ms. Diaz says, “You need to get to class, both of you, before you get detention for being late.”
That’s really the least of my worries right now.
But Tyler—the fucking traitor—finally manages to pull away from my grasp. The second Ms. Diaz sees me, I know I was right to try to hide. Her eyes narrow as her jaw drops open slightly. She quickly presses them into a thin line, instead.
Her voice is much harder when she barks out, “Move along.”
I can’t get out of there fast enough. Tyler tries to slip his hand into mine as we skirt around her, but I cross my arms over my chest, making a poor attempt to settle my wildly beating heart. I can feel the weight of her stare on our backs as we move down the hallway, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. This is bad. I never really stopped to consider what would happen if Ms. Diaz saw me with someone other than Brennan.
And I can’t help but wonder—why does it feel like I’m always disappointing someone?
9
Piper
I seriously consider skipping psychology for the rest of the week. Ultimately, I know it would raise too many red flags at home, though, so I decide I need to suck it up for the last days before break. But as I slink into psychology the day after Ms. Diaz caught me in the hall with Tyler, all I can focus on is the weight of her angry stare. I think she might actually be trying to make my head explode just by staring at me.
I sink down in my chair, face burning, as her eyes slide my way again. I know she’s not actually glaring at me, but there’s heat in her eyes each time they land on me, and I’m certain I’m going to die from embarrassment before I ever make it to the end of the week. Ms. Diaz keeps moving, stalking across the front of the classroom as she lectures, but I sink even lower still, wishing not for the first time for a crater to open in the earth and suck me all the way to hell.
As soon as the bell rings, I’m on my feet and scurrying to leave her classroom. But everyone’s taking their sweet fucking time today, milling around at the front of the class and blocking the door so I can’t manage to slip out quickly. I can feel her glaring at me again, but I don’t turn around. I can’t fucking believe I ruined things with the one person who probably believed in me the most.
My heart is pounding so fast as I finally push into the hall that I’m starting to worry something might actually be wrong with my internal ticker. It’s not a traditional heart, but I do need that sucker to keep moving along with the rest of my internal parts in order for me to oh… live.
I try to escape into the anonymity of the crowd, wanting to put a hell of a lot of distance between Ms. Diaz and me fast. A hand wraps around my arm, sending my heart careening into my throat. My first thought is that Ms. Diaz is ready to lay hands on me for what she probably thinks is me treating her son like shit, the thought making me flinch as I spin around, free hand raised to protect myself if it comes to that.
“Whoa, Pi, what’s going on?” Brennan asks as he takes in my wild eyes and raised hand.
I suck in a deep breath of air, trying to calm my racing heart as he drags me to one side of the hall, crowding me against the brick wall just outside his mom’s classroom. I want nothing more than to ask him to pick literally anywhere else right now, but I can’t seem to make my mouth work. I slump forward, letting my hands drop to my knees as I hang my head in embarrassment. This has really gotten blown so far out of proportion now, but I don’t know how to fix any of it.
“Pi,” Brennan whispers. He strokes calming circles across my back. “Did Tori try to pull some shit again?”
I almost laugh because that would be so much easier to deal with than this. I don’t want to tell Brennan his mom saw me making out with Tyler yesterday. I don’t want to have to admit that she probably thinks I’m cheating on her sweet son. I know I’m making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be. I just wasn’t prepared for the actual, living consequences of my relationship arrangement. Like disappointing the sweetest, most supportive woman in the whole world.
Needing comfort, I push off the wall and basically collapse into Brennan’s waiting arms. He wraps them around me, holding me tight to him as I rest my cheek on his chest and count his heartbeats for a moment. The steady sound soothes me, finally settling some of my nerves. I release a heavy breath.
“You know I love you, right?” I whisper, the words meant only for his ears. It’s the first time I’ve said the words to him. His breath hitches as he pulls back to cup my face. He brushes his fingers along my cheek before dipping his head to kiss me.
“I love you, too,” he tells me in between kisses. I melt into his touch, letting him continue to kiss me softly as the noise around us seems to just fade away.
“Are you kidding me?”
We scramble apart as quickly as we can. Brennan’s eyes wide with panic as he straightens his tie. As if that’s going to do us any good now. Ms. Diaz’s nostrils flare as she glances back and forth between the two of us, her face darkening to an angry, deep red. My own skin heats, but mine is out of pure mortification. I know exactly what she must think.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she growls.
“Mom—”
“Not you,” she cuts him off. My gut twists painfully as I try to come up with any reasonable explanation for this moment.
“Ms. Diaz—” I start, twisting the strap of my bag nervously between my fingers, but she cuts me off, too.
“You know what, I actually don’t want to hear it. What excuse could you possibly have for your behavior?” She’s positively seething, and my stomach’s on fire. Brennan shifts closer to me, catching my arm in a soft grip, casting a curious glance in my direction. As much as I want the comfort of his touch, I pull away so that I don’t make his mom any angrier than I already have. “I catch you making out in my house, and I let it slide because you know what, you’re a nice girl, and Brennan deserves that. I see that e-mail showing you’ve slept with Tyler and Jude, and I let it go—because my son was a little shit about it and posted it all over the internet for the world to see. Even when I heard the rumors that you were still sleeping around, I thought no, there was no way it was true. I thought it had to just be talk.”
Her voice lowers with each word she spits my way until she’s barely whispering through her rage. “But you don’t get to date my son and sneak around behind his back making out with his closest friends. I will not stand for it!”<
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“Mom, stop.” Brennan sounds exasperated as he puts his hand around my waist, pulling me closer than I wanted to be at the moment. I give in this time. It’s not like there’s anything left to lose. My dignity feels shredded at the moment.
Ms. Diaz points at me. “I caught her making out with Tyler Hamilton yesterday in the hallway—Brennan, I will not allow her to cheat on you. This is over right now.”
Brennan shakes his head even as she looks at him expectantly, like she really thinks he should step away from me just because she’s announcing we’re through. I shrink further into Bren’s side. If this were literally anyone else, I might actually stand up for myself. But it’s Ms. Diaz, and I can’t bring myself to stand up to her, of all people. Which isn’t fucking fair because I’m not cheating on anyone.
“First of all, that’s not your decision,” Brennan says, his voice steely as he stiffens next to me. My head jerks in his direction, my eyes wide as his expression turns dark enough to rival hers. “Second of all, Piper is not cheating on me.”
“I saw—” Ms. Diaz tries to start in again, but this time Brennan’s the one that cuts her off.
“You’re pissed, and you clearly need the chance to calm down,” he’s pulling me tighter against his side—we’re so close at this point that our skin is practically melded together. His mom’s mouth hangs open as he starts to turn us in the other direction, and I’m seriously positive I’ve just taken up the Enemy No. 1 spot at the very top of her shit list with the glare she passes in my direction. “I told Izzy I’d pick her up today, so take some time and then we can discuss this over dinner.”
“Brennan Matías Diaz-Baker,” she hisses in warning but he only waves her off as he pulls me away.
Brennan sends Izzy in ahead of us. We sit in silence in his Jeep, my stomach churning as I stare at his house with trepidation coursing through my veins. He’s spent the better part of the last hour trying to calm me down, driving us aimlessly around as Izzy chatted incessantly in the background. Our fingers are still interlocked over the console, and I swear I’m trying to draw strength from his touch, but I’m afraid I might actually pass out. I’ve gotten used to conflict with Jackie, but I’ve not had any other real conflict with adults. It makes me so fucking nervous to have to be facing it now from someone I actually respect.
