by Cassie James
I don’t acknowledge her, bolting for the house and then the safety of my bedroom as fast as I can. Once I feel safe that she’s not going to ignore my wishes and just follow me up here, anyway, I dial Macie on speakerphone.
She doesn’t even bother with a proper greeting, making me laugh instead when she asks, “God, did she finally set you free?”
“I cannot believe her, Mace!” I say with a low groan. “I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into her. She’s been leaving me alone the past few weeks, why’s she all of the sudden so interested in spending time with me as if we’re anything more than barely tolerable housemates?”
There’s a pregnant pause where all I can hear is her breathing softly on the other end of the line. She clears her throat, and even though I can’t see her face, I can hear the reluctance in her tone when she speaks again. “Do you think… I mean, prom was when, you know…”
And just like that, everything clicks into place, and for the first time in a long time, I actually feel bad for Jackie Hawthorne. Initially I want to blame the spark of guilt on some of my residual programming, but the longer I sit there in awkward silence with my best friend on the other end of the line, the more the guilt eats at my stomach. She may have been annoying the shit out of me all day long, but it wasn’t for the sake of annoying me.
“I didn’t even think about it,” I admit. Now I guess I understand why Roman was so quick to lock himself away in his office after breakfast. I give myself one long moment to feel really badly for the Hawthornes before I push it all down—they’re hurting, sure, but I’m not their daughter, and I can’t let myself get caught up in their feelings. Not when I’m trying to live a life they barely want to grant me.
What happened to them was sad, but it wasn’t me they lost. I can’t carry the burden of a moment that happened before I ever existed.
Even still, some residual guilt lingers as I slide on a brand new pair of sexy, lace panties. I have no idea how I’m supposed to face the Hawthornes now when Tyler gets here to pick me up. A sense of dread settles heavy in my stomach as I usher Macie off the phone so I can finish dressing, saying goodbye with a promise to let her know when we’re leaving Jude’s to head to the restaurant we picked for tonight.
I dress with a calmness I don’t actually feel, slipping into the long, red dress Macie gave me after my crying bout in the dressing room the day we went shopping. It’s a bittersweet memory, but her reassurances were so desperately needed that day.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror as I stand up from putting my shoes on, and I let my heart hurt for a short moment, wishing that the Hawthornes could see me for what I am—which is not their dead daughter. I stare at my reflection even longer as something else strikes me, too. This dress might be pushing the boundaries between sexy and slutty a little more than I thought when I originally tried it on. Between how impossibly tight it is and the plunging neckline held up only by thin straps, I’m pretty sure I look semi-indecent even before you take into consideration the high slit up the side showing off more thigh than I first realized.
Still, I know I look amazing, and I’m sure as hell the guys will agree. It’s going to be quite the game trying to get them to keep their hands to themselves tonight while we’re surrounded by our classmates.
I push away the insecurities and dread, and stoop to grab my overnight bag before flipping the lights off and stepping out of the room. I take one last calming breath before braving the hallway, steeling my reserve for whatever’s going to meet me at the bottom of the stairs.
The house is eerily quiet, like nighttime in a drafty mausoleum, the sound of my shoes echoing through the hall the only sound as I pick my way toward the stairwell. I stop at the top long enough to shove my phone into my clutch and check to make sure I have a tube of lip gloss in the bag before starting down the stairs. My heart pounds in my chest at the sound of the doorbell, and a sudden flurry of activity livens up the house again. I can hear the click-clack-click of Mom’s shoes moving toward the front door and the sound of Dad’s heavier but somehow more muted footsteps following closely behind.
When I meet Tyler’s eyes, my breath catches in my throat. He steps through the door and walks right past my parents without any kind of greeting. “Holy shit, Piper,” he whispers once he’s close enough not to be overheard. I drop my bag so I can wrap my arms around him, pulling him close as the calm of his presence washes over me. This, this right here is exactly what I needed—to be wrapped in the arms of someone who loves me when everything else feels a little too heavy.
The peace of the moment is ripped away from me unceremoniously when Jackie’s shrill voice cuts through the quiet. “Why the hell do you have an overnight bag?”
Tyler and I stiffen in one another’s arms, and tension floods my body again. I should have known better than to think this part would pass by easily. Jackie storms closer, fury written all over her face as she grabs the bag off the floor. Roman runs a hand over his jaw, clearly uncomfortable.
“The after-prom party is at Jude’s house. I’m not wearing this dress all night.” I try to keep my voice even despite my rising panic. Jackie starts to unzip the bag, but I rip it from her hands before she gets very far. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her dig around in there just to find the lacy lingerie and condoms buried in the bag. I’m through taking stupid chances with her.
“You can take that bag back upstairs because you’re not going.”
I shove the bag into Tyler’s slack arms and shove him in the direction of the door. “I’ll meet you in the car in a few minutes, Ty.” Jackie’s already winding up for the argument, her shoulders rising dramatically with the massive breath she sucks in. There’s no way I’m letting him stick around for this, but there’s no way I’m backing down from it, either.
“You’re not going, Piper!” she cries out as Tyler slams the front door shut behind him.
“Like hell I’m not going,” I growl as Roman puts his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. She wrenches out of his grip to stalk closer to me, and I don’t back down. My life is not her hobby to play with at will. I’m fucking done. “You’ve spent the past nine months forcing me to do shit I didn’t want to do, to go to parties that I wanted to skip and to skip the things I did want. You’re not taking this from me—not this time!”
She looks like she could hit me, and for a second I think she might, but then Roman’s stepping forward again, and wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her back a few paces. I cross my arms over my chest and quirk a challenging eyebrow as she breathes raggedly. “How dare—” she cuts herself off as she turns and buries her face in Roman’s chest and fists her hands.
“Piper,” he starts, and I know he’s trying to diffuse things, but the warning in his tone only infuriates me more.
“What? Tired of me not being the girl that lays down and takes it?” I ask, so much venom dripping from my voice that he jerks back a little. Jackie spins around, a glare settling across her tear-stained face as she steps out of Roman’s arms again.
“How dare you! Our daughter died—”
I close my eyes and force myself to take a deep breath and let some of the anger drain away. I don’t have to like the way they treat me, but right now I can only help things by trying not to escalate the problem. She does have a valid concern about me being out tonight of all nights.
“I know how hard today is for you, but some day you have to accept that I’m not that girl. I am so sorry for what you lost and that you’re obviously still struggling with it, but I’m here and I’m miserable. I didn’t choose to be here, but don’t I deserve to have the chance to make some of my own choices now that I am?”
Jackie’s face falls as she turns to sob into her husband’s arms again. Why don’t I ever come out of these things feeling like I’ve won? I mouth I’m sorry to Roman, even though I’m not sure that does much good. Not when I’ve pushed Jackie to this point and now I’m sure he’ll spend the rest of th
e night having to deal with her.
Roman clears his throat and says, “Check in when you leave prom and again when you get to Malibu.” I nod immediately, surprised he’s letting me have my way even when Jackie is so clearly distraught over it. “If anything goes wrong, at all, call us. I don’t care what time of the night it is. Do you understand?” I nod again.
He jerks his head a little to indicate toward Jackie, and I know exactly what he’s asking for. He wants me to apologize.
“Mom.” I step forward and cautiously put a hand on her back. “I’m sorry that I upset you. I can send you updates more often if you want. Whatever will make you feel better.” Anything but staying home and missing this party.
Jackie does a quick one-eighty that makes me seriously wonder if the tears were only a manipulation all along. She offers me a clinical smile as she swipes at the smudged mascara under her eyes. “That’s okay, Piper.” She leans into Roman as she gives me a long once-over. “You look beautiful, darling. Enjoy your night, and make sure you check in first thing in the morning.”
I nod, back to not trusting myself with words. If I speak, I’m worried another accusation might slip out. The Hawthornes both give me formal goodbyes, but I’m still uneasy as I head toward the door, glancing over my shoulder one last time.
Roman has Jackie wrapped up in his arms. She’s peering at me over his shoulder, her eyes in narrow slits as she watches me go. This isn’t over.
I push my problems with the Hawthornes to the back of my mind as I step out and get a moment to appreciate the sight that greets me. Tyler leans against his car, arms crossed as he glares toward my house. He looks so goddamn good in his suit, and his glare gives way to an easy smile as I start toward him.
“Piper, you look so goddamn gorgeous. Are you sure I have to share you with Brennan and Jude?” I shoot him an exasperated glare, but he’s laughing, and the easiness from before washes over me all over again. It might not’ve been the perfect day, but I’m absolutely positive that it’s going to be the perfect night. Because tonight isn’t about Piper Hawthorne—tonight is about me.
24
Piper
Prom itself goes off without a hitch. People are less concerned with my date situation than any of us expected, which means we’re largely left alone as everyone else focuses on enjoying their own nights. It’s not until we get back to the beach house that things really start to get interesting. The crowd is already trickling in when Jude finds me hovering around the jungle juice with Macie in the kitchen.
“You haven’t been drinking, have you?” he asks with a frown. I shake my head no. If he would wait two seconds, I could also explain how since I don’t digest food or drinks, alcohol would have absolutely no effect on me, but he doesn’t give me that chance. He grabs me by the arm and starts pulling me away.
“Hey, don’t take her! I’m leaving soon,” Macie protests.
“Bye,” Jude calls back unapologetically. I elbow him for being rude, but it doesn’t seem to affect him at all. He keeps dragging me across the house, blatantly forcing other people to move out of our way.
I grumble at him, “Can you at least slow down?” And he does, but only marginally. He drags me all the way down the hall before pulling me into a bathroom. Almost immediately, I feel myself replaying the last time we were alone in a bathroom together. I raise an eyebrow at him, already shifting my weight from one foot to the other in anticipation.
“I didn’t bring you in here to fuck you.” He hesitates and gives me a cocky grin before adding, “Not yet, anyway.”
“Okay, then what? We’re hosting a party, Jude, you can’t just leave before the thing’s even really gotten started.” He rolls his eyes, and I know without him saying anything that he’s thinking Jude Alton can do whatever the hell he wants. He’s right, really. No one would probably question him if he wanted to bail out of his own party. No one typically questions him for much of anything, and this would be pretty minor on the spectrum of odd things he’s done in the past year.
Jude takes me by the shoulders and pulls me a little closer. He leans down to kiss me, even though he very blatantly just told me we weren’t in here for sex. As far as kissing Jude goes, it’s pretty chaste. He barely even slips me any tongue before he’s pulling away again.
“What?” I ask again as he just stares at me for a long minute.
He strokes his thumb over my cheek before taking a deep breath. “I love you, Piper Hawthorne. Just you. This version of you.” The words stun me speechless, not just because Jude is admitting he loves me, but because he’s also making it clear that he loves me. Not some other version of me, or some ideal that I can never actually live up to. He loves me as I am, and only as I am.
“Fucking say it back, Piper,” he grumbles impatiently when I get lost in thought instead of responding right away.
I blink, realizing how my stint of silence must seem. I hook a finger in his belt loop to pull him even closer so I can plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “You’re the biggest asshole I know… and I love you, Jude Alton.”
A lazy grin spreads over his face as he stares down at me. “Good. Now give me your panties.”
“Uh… what?”
Instead of answering, he huffs and bends to do the job himself. I gape open-mouthed at him as he reaches through the slit in my dress to hook a finger in the side of my panties and then slide them down my legs. “Step out,” he commands. I do as he asks this time, still totally baffled.
I’m not sure what exactly I thought he was doing, but it definitely isn’t what happens. He bunches my panties up in his hand and sticks them down in his pocket. I look from the bulge of my panties in his pocket to his eyes and then back again.
“Why—”
“Anticipation, Piper. I’m trying to build some anticipation here, don’t question me.” His voice somehow comes out both hard and teasing at the same time. I just nod along to what he’s saying, fully aware that there’s not going to be any arguing with him on this.
“Now let’s get back out there,” he says with a smirk. “We’re hosting a party, we can’t just leave before things have gotten started.”
I glare at him as he throws my words back at me. When he opens the door and waves me out into the hall ahead of him, I get a bad feeling that letting him take my panties was a mistake. Suddenly, I can only think of all the ways he might come up with to tease me in the middle of this party—plenty of ways which don’t actually involve sex, but many of which still definitely involve me somehow embarrassing myself.
Dammit, Jude.
For the next thirty minutes, I keep my distance from Jude, both of us eyeing each other from across the party, but me bolting every time he gets close. I’m genuinely worried that if I get back within ten feet of him that I’m going to jump him, right here in front of all of our classmates. Between finally exchanging I love you’s and the fact that I know he’s got my panties in his pocket, I’m pretty sure my self-control is shot for the rest of the night.
But the longer I avoid him, the more frustrated he seems to get. I’ve just managed to settle into a conversation with Brennan and Tyler a safe distance from him when he suddenly cups his hands and makes an announcement to the whole room. “Party’s over! Get the fuck out!”
My back stiffens as I look around for some sign that the police have shown up or something. Anything that would explain why Jude’s suddenly telling everyone to get out even though this party is supposed to last basically all night. I don’t see any problems, and I definitely don’t hear any sirens or see any flashing lights. I start to head for Jude, Brennan and Tyler following right behind me. When I reach him, he’s yelling again. “Seriously, get the fuck out!” Everyone looks really damn confused, but they start to find their friends and make their way to the front door.
“What are you doing?” I ask, tugging on his arm to get him to stop. “Everyone drove like an hour to be here, Jude.”
“Do I look like I give a shit?” he growls.
<
br /> I have no idea why he suddenly looks so angry. Did I do something? Did Brennan or Tyler? I glance over at them, but they look just as confused as I do.
The last few people trickle out, glaring daggers at Jude for ruining all the fun. Shit, most of these people were smart enough not to drive tonight. They’re all just gonna be stuck outside waiting for cars now. I jerk Jude’s arm harder so he’s forced to look at me.
“What?” he snaps.
My face falls, and his expression softens. That doesn’t do much to comfort me, though. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” he echoes. “What’s wrong is you’re still wearing too many damn clothes.”
I open my mouth to tell him I’m not. I’m literally only wearing one thing—the dress—since my panties are in his pocket. I forget what I was saying the second he slides his hand up the slit of my dress. My body tenses, preparing for a touch that doesn’t come. He curls his fingers around the top of the dress’ slit and tugs. Hard. My eyes go round as the sound of ripping fabric fills the otherwise silent room. I drop my head to watch in horror as he somehow manages to rip the seam halfway up the body of the dress. He gets frustrated and lets out a growl when he tugs but the material won’t give anymore.
Tyler shoves his way between us, and without a word grabs each side of the ripped dress. I don’t realize what he’s doing at first. Finishing the job. He gives one hard tug and the last of the dress gives, ripping all the way up. Tyler pushes the thin straps off my shoulders as I helplessly watch.
Tyler steps back to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Jude. They both stare at me with heated gazes. After a moment, Brennan steps forward to join them. I shift uncomfortably under their weighted stares at my naked body. Not because I mind them looking at me—but because now they’re the ones wearing too many damn clothes.
