by Crist, J. D.
The bathroom would be the last stop on her fake-it train. Standing in the doorway, she saw how little she could do to fix this room. There was no way to hide the cracked mirror above the sink, the door was missing on the cabinet, and the towel on the towel rack looked like it had been around for fifty years. It was so full of holes. The worst part is that it was her best towel. She added two new towels to the list, along with a shower curtain to hide the bathtub and a new bath mat. She set to work wiping down everything she could to try to make it look as good as possible.
Once done, she stepped back out into the hall. Looking to her right, she could see Chad's office door. Nothing needed to be done in there. To her left was the master bedroom—no sense in trying to fix it up. No one would see it anyway. The door in front of her was one she could not stand even to open. When they had only been married a few months, Emily found out that she was pregnant. Chad had been so happy, and this was when their marriage was at its best. He had painted the room a soft yellow, put down new carpet, and even a new light fixture. They had even begun to buy the baby furniture. Behind that door, she would see a crib, a small dresser, and a rocking chair. Everything had been perfect, and she could not have been happier.
This was when tragedy moved into the house and never left. At five months, something went wrong. Emily knew that the doctor explained it, but she could only focus on what he said. She had lost the baby. The doctor had put her on medication to help her and said they could try again in a year. Chad would not even look at her for months. She knew he blamed her and was angry. He had shut the door when they got home from the hospital that night, and it had not been opened since. She would not change that today, not with everything else she had to deal with right now.
Emily headed back to the living room and grabbed her purse and keys. It had been a long time since she made a shopping trip like this, but she could not find it in herself to be excited. This was a mission to hide how bad things were from her family. Once in the car and driving towards the store, she heard her phone vibrate again. She never talked on the phone and drove, so she resolved to ignore it once more. This time though, it did not stop. The phone would only be silent a few moments and then would start again. This continued as she pulled into a parking spot at the store.
Emily took a few moments and steadied herself as she pulled the phone from her purse. Chad's name was shown on the Caller ID, and she could almost see the anger on his face. She pressed the accept button on the phone and put it to her ear.
"Hello," she said in a rather cheery voice that shocked even her.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Emily?! I have been trying to get a hold of you all day. Where the hell have you been?!"
"I've been busy. You know I had to work today and then I had work to do at home. We had no food at the house, so I just pulled up to the grocery store." Emily spoke like it was just any ordinary day. She was ignoring the fact that she had denied him access to her paycheck and had been ducking his calls.
"Don't give me that shit! You have been avoiding me, and I have had enough of it! After everything I did for you yesterday, this is how you repay me! We will handle this when I get home! Right now, I need you to call the bank because they say you didn't transfer your check, and I need that money now!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. You weren't home this morning, so I didn't get a chance to tell you. After looking over your list last night, I had a thought. If you can have such a list, why can't I? So, I didn't transfer the money. I paid all the household bills last week, so there are none of those left. I decided to keep the money I earned and start marking things off my list."
"Who the hell do you think you are?! That is my money, you crazy bitch! I put up with your shit every day and ask nothing from you! You will transfer that money now or so help me…". Emily was done hearing what he had to say. Instead of yelling back, though, and replied with a smile on her face.
"So, help you what, Chad? I said no, and that is my choice. You got paid today as well, and there are no bills this week you need to contribute to, so use your own damn money! I have things to do right now, and I am sure you do as well. If you want to talk about this when you are done celebrating, I will make sure I'm home on Monday."
With that, Emily hung up the phone and dropped it back into her purse. As she headed into the store, she realized that she was back to being her old self. Back to before the miscarriage, back to before Chad had to be the top priority. She had been a strong person, one who would say or do what she had to. Chad could either accept that or not. It wasn't her problem. The house was in her name, not his, and even if a judge said she had to buy him out, she would. She let her newfound confidence guide her through the store. She even stopped to look at things she needed to make permanent repairs to the house once the weekend was over.
When she returned home, she put the things she had bought in place. She sat for half an hour, gluing the chairs back together. They would work for tomorrow, but she was resolved to buy new very soon. She would need to remember to go out in the morning to buy fresh ice for the fridge to keep everything cold. She heated the meatloaf dinner she had purchased at the store in the microwave and sat enjoying her meal. By the time she was done, the sun had long since gone down, and she felt exhausted. She forced herself into the shower and then straight to bed. Sleep came quickly, and the thoughts of the day melted away.
Chapter 3
Emily woke peacefully. She thought she had woken before her alarm, but the sounds outside told her that morning is well underway. Emily glanced at the clock to see that it is nearly ten. She has overslept and had so much to do. Emily jumped from the bed and began to curse the hard-sub-floor under her feet. She would have to move the rug back that night. She quickly made the bed and headed to the closet. She decided to go simple and wear a pair of jeans and a light dress shirt. Soon she was in the kitchen and had a pot of coffee brewing. She would need to make another before her family arrived, but she needed the pick me up right now.
While she waited for the coffee, she ran through the house, freshening it up. With a cup of hot coffee in hand, Emily headed to the car to get a few more bags of ice. The trip was uneventful, and by the time she returned home, it was eleven-thirty. She pulled out the empty bags from the crisper drawers, emptied the water into the sink, and slid the new bags of ice into the drawers. The refrigerator is surprisingly cold, and she can't help but think she might pull this off. She washed the coffee pot and put on a fresh pot. She began to walk to the hallway to see if she could figure out something with the floorboard. A knock at the door froze her where she stood.
She finally managed to free herself from where she seemed to be trapped on the floor and made her way to the front door. She reached up and quickly straightened her hair and then reached for the door handle. The handle seemed to take forever to turn and was much heavier than it had been that very morning. As the old door finally swung open, she was greeted by nothing but smiles. A cheer of "Aunt Emily" rung out as her nieces and nephew rushed to put her in a hug.
"You guys are getting so big!" Emily exclaimed while hugging them back.
"Alright, kids, we have all day. Don't kill her in the first five minutes," Rachael stepped through the door after them. The children scattered into the living room as their mother entered. Emily hugged her sister and stepped aside so that she can join her children. Next at the door was Emily's parents, Charles and Christine. Christine wraped Emily in a hug, and Emily could feel in it how much her mom has missed her.
"Hey, mom, it's good to see you," Emily whispered to her.
"I half expected you not to be home with as busy as you always are." Emily can hear the pain in her voice.
"I wouldn't do that to you. Please, come in." Emily saw her father was still looking at the yard.
"Looks like a professional job out here," he said with very little emotion. This was the first time any of them have been to the house that Emily knew of before today.
"Yes, my boss makes sure it gets done f
or me as a thank you for all my hard work." Emily knows that this is the only truthful thing that she can tell her dad about her life.
"Well then, you must be damn good at your job." He finally turned to face her, and Emily could have sworn that she saw tears in his eyes. "It's good to see you, kiddo."
"It's good to see you too, dad." Emily wrapped her father in a hug and felt safe for the first time in a very long time. She also could help but be glad that Chad was not here. He would find a way to rob her of this moment, and she did not want to lose a second of it.
"I hope you don't mind, but we had a party crasher that insisted on coming." Emily let go of her father and looked at him with confusion. Charles nodded his head towards the driveway, and Emily's gaze followed. Standing next to a small black hatchback was Joseph, Emily's younger brother. His hands were in his pockets, and he smiled at her as she looked at him. Emily had not seen Joe in nearly four years.
"Well, it wouldn't be a party without a crasher or two," she quickly quipped back at her dad. Charles laughed and headed inside to join everyone else. Emily then turned her attention back to Joe. Their fight had been pretty epic, and, in the end, they decided not to speak or see each other ever again. Emily remembered the details of the fight like it was yesterday. She had tried to confide in him about the struggles between her and Chad after the miscarriage. Joe had listened and been there for her as she cried. But he concluded that Chad was a "piece of shit," and he had insisted that Emily leave him. As she thought back through the details of the fight, Joe had been right about everything. But she was still not ready to admit that to him or anyone else yet. But she also did not want him to disappear again either. "You still driving that death trap?" Emily yelled across the yard while looking at Joe's car. She could see him visibly relax, and he began to walk towards her.
"Hey, don't knock my baby. She may not be fancy, but she has character".
"Well, you better get inside. I'd hate for it to blow up and us still be out here." Emily laughed as she walked back through the door and shut it behind Joe. As the door shut, Emily felt her tension rise and hoped that her plan would work. Everyone sat and talked; her mother even complimented the blankets she had put on the couch. Emily felt that perhaps she had been over-prepared.
"Where is the bathroom?" Rachael asked while everyone was telling stories and enjoying a good laugh.
"Down the hall on the left," Emily replied without thinking. Christine was talking about Emily's Birthday where Emily had wished Joe had been a girl. It was extra embarrassing because she had done it out loud in front of Joe while blowing out the candles. They all were laughing as the crunch sound, and a cry came from the hall. Emily's heart dropped, and she took off at a run. Her sister had stepped on the floorboard. She had completely forgotten about it. As she reached Rachael, she was pulling her foot up out of the hole in the floor.
"I'm okay. It more scared me than anything else," Rachael said as she heard Emily behind her.
"I'll get some ice," Christine said as she made the turn to the kitchen. Emily did not have time to react, and how would she explain that it was in the crisper drawer. Everything was falling apart, literally. Emily and Joe helped Racheal back to the living room. As they did, they heard Christine yell from the kitchen. "Charles, could you come here, please?"
"She must see something in there that she wants in our kitchen," Charles stated as he left the room.
"Doubtful, unless she likes the coffee pot," Emily thought to herself. Once they had their sister settled on the couch surrounded by the kids, Emily headed to the kitchen. Her parents were standing close to each other and whispering. Her dad looked angry, and her mother could not hide the look of worry on her face.
"Emily, are you okay?" her mother finally spoke. Emily knew what she thought, that she and Chad were having financial problems. Which, in a way, was true, she earned enough to keep up with the house, but Chad spent it all on himself.
"Yes, mom. You know how busy my life gets, and sometimes things get away from us. We bought a new fridge, and it will be here tomorrow." It wasn't a complete lie; they did buy the mini-fridge, and she would have it back in here tomorrow.
"And what about your stove? I assume it's broken too since it's not even plugged in." Charles chimed in. Damn them for having to be so observant. Emily was trying to think of something to say that wouldn't be a complete lie when her father looked up. Why did he look up? He grabbed one of the freshly glued chairs and pulled it over to stand on to inspect the ceiling closer. Emily did not trust the glue that much and finally decided to tell the whole truth.
"Stop! Just stop." she was nearly crying by the end of the last word. "It's barely glued together, and I don't want you to get hurt too. Charles stopped and stood looking at Emily. She knew that look from when she was growing up. He wanted to know the truth, not parts of it but all of it, and he wanted to know it now. Emily knew she would later regret opening her mouth. She had been having issues with shutting it once she opened it. But she could not hold it in anymore. "It's all broken. The fridge has been out for I can't even remember how long. We have a mini-fridge on the counter, but I hid it in Chad's office. There is a hot plate in the oven that I set on the stove to cook. The chairs are falling apart, the roof leaks all the time, and if you turn the kitchen sink above a dribble, it will flood the kitchen floor. The kitchen window is barely in place and is held there mostly by tape."
"Emily, how long has it been like this," Joe asked from behind her.
"Years. I didn't want you guys to see it until I could at least make it safe to walk to the damn bathroom." Emily watched as her father inspected the window and her mother pulled the hot plate from the oven.
"What else?" Charles asked. Simple yet to the point as he always was. Emily proceeded to walk her family through her house of shame. She showed them everything wrong in each room. She went into every room except for two, Chad's office and the nursery. Her mother was the one who stopped in front of the nursery door.
"What about this room?" she asked while reaching for the handle. Emily felt herself nearly jump out of her skin at the thought that the door could open.
"That room is perfect, except for that I caused it to be empty." Emily felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "Please, don't open it" Joseph leaned over and whispered to their mother, who let go of the handle. Emily could tell by the look on his face that he knew it was the nursery. They walked back down the hall and stopped at Chad's office.
"Well, let's see what needs to be fixed up in here," Joe said as he opened the door. He could not hide the anger on his face. His eyes darted all around the perfect room filled with everything a gamer could ever want. "Well, I guess Chad's doing okay for himself while my sister lives in a home she calls a death trap!" Emily could not take anymore. She felt her legs begin to run towards the front door. Once outside, she allowed the tears to come. They had seen, and now they know not only about the house but about Chad. She should have said no or just not been home when they got here. Why did she have to try to make it work? Emily sat in the soft grass for a long time, resolved not to go back into her death trap. She was running out of tears by the time her family came out the door. They were all smiling and seemed happy. Now even they were enjoying her pain.
"Aunt Emily, don't cry. We will fix it." Jr. ran over and wrapped his arms around Emily. She hugged the three-year-old and didn't even realize what he had said until he let go.
"What do you mean you will fix it?" she asked. But the little boy just smiled and ran back to his mother.
"Sorry, that took so long, but the guy at the hardware store must have been new. It took forever to place the order," her father said. "I think it's about time we head out for an early birthday supper as we all have a busy day tomorrow."
"Wait, what are you talking about, JR? What order and what is going on tomorrow?" Emily had to try hard not to yell. She wasn't mad at them after all, but she hated being confused.
"Look, Em, I'm sorry about that comment inside
. I haven't exactly been around to help either." Joe sat down in the grass next to her. "But we all talked, and if the house is what keeps you from being able to be around or what makes you unhappy, we want to fix it. Dad placed the order for the materials and called in a few favors to get a roofing crew out tomorrow to fix the roof. We are all going to help you get this done before dinner on Monday." Emily could only sit and stare at her brother. Was this real or another joke?
"And don't worry about the cost. We have it covered. The store has my credit card on file, so you will need to go tonight and pick out your new appliances, paint colors, and flooring. A few of the lights need replacing, so go ahead and get those and the bathroom mirror. Everything else is already ordered and will be delivered in the morning." Charles was smiling, and Emily knew that he wanted her to be happy.
"This is too much, you guys: the cost and the work. I'll get it done. I don't want to put you out."
"Hey, I know you are a hard worker, but you are not going to get it done faster or better than all of us will together. We got you, girl." Emily could tell that Rachael was not going to budge on this issue.
"Now, if you don't mind, I am starving!" Christine announced. "Can we please go to dinner?" They all shared a good laugh and quickly were organized into two cars and headed to the restaurant.
