“She lives!” Cat yelled. Clara winced at the loudness. “Go take a shower.” Cat yelled again. “And try this!”
Clara reached up one hand and caught the vanilla-scented cake of soap in the air.
“Nice catch!” Cat said appreciatively.
“Third time’s a charm,” Clara murmured, well beneath the roar of the hair drier.
She padded her way into the bathroom and gave Angel a high five, all hot and Vampire-y up on his poster. She didn’t even bat an eye when Jeanie made her cheerful entrance soon after.
“Wazup?” Clara nodded, splashing some water on her face.
“Good morning, or,” Jeanie stole a quick glance at her pink sports watch. “I should say good afternoon to you.”
“What have you been up to so far today? Getting elected as mayor of Ithaca?”
“Politics.” Jeanie winced as if tasting something sour. “No thank you. But I tell you what, the kayaking here is amazing. At sunrise this morning out on the river, I had a moment where it was just me and this Eastern Meadowlark singing away.”
“Of course you did.” Clara realized she’d grown accustomed to it all—the time travel, Jeanie’s escapades. Amazing what could become normal if you did it enough times.
“So,” Jeanie turned to her excitedly. “Last trip back!”
Clara nodded. “This is it, Jeanie.”
“Are you sure, though? No second thoughts? No new plans for you and Brad?”
“Nope.”
“Because now would be a good time to tell me just in case—”
“Jeanie, I’m sure.” A montage of memories came to mind: dancing leopard print man-thongs; lacrosse helmet pool table sex; a rastaman trying to borrow everything in the house; The Dweeze.
“Really sure?” Jeanie continued. “Because Brad does have a certain frat boy appeal, if you’re into that.”
“Jeanie.” Clara clasped her hands around Jeanie’s elbows and looked directly into her eyes. “I’m sure. All I want is to get things back the way they were.”
Faced with the pure certainty of a nun taking her vows, Jeanie agreed. “OK, then. What you need to do is let everything play out the way it did back in college. You just go through your day. Follow the itinerary—which you probably don’t need again, but anyway, here.”
Clara took the crisp notecard from her with a strange sense of nostalgia. Last time!
With a tap of the card, Jeanie said, “Follow the schedule, break up with Brad and you’re good to go.”
“I can do that.”
“Keep everything else the same. Even with Alek.” Jeanie arched an eyebrow in warning.
“I can do that,” Clara insisted.
“All right then.” Jeanie looked again at her watch. “Still enough time to hit the farmer’s market then check out a winery tour!”
Clara couldn’t resist. Grabbing a towel, she gave Jeanie’s behind a snap. “You go get ‘em, champ.”
With a squeal and a laugh, Jeanie waved good-bye. “Good luck, Clara! I’ll check in on you later!”
“I’ll be fine. Go take over Ithaca!” Clara turned on the water for her shower and Jeanie went on her merry way.
Out in the dorm room, Clara fired up her computer and hit play on the boom box while pulling on a pair of jeans. So much more efficient and effective each time around! Imagine if real life were like that, getting do-overs and direct insights into causes-and-effects?
Singing along about running through the halls of high school, she pulled on her tank top and couldn’t help but think that John Mayer would agree. Back in his early Room for Squares days, everyone had loved him. He was a cute pop singer fresh onto the scene with surprisingly killer guitar licks. Ten years later, how many girlfriends had he gone through? He’d built his own Greek chorus following him around, pointing out his flaws and womanizing ways. Clara bet he’d like a Facebook app that would send him back in time so he could do things a bit better.
And then came the line, the one about parents getting older. Clara paused as she brushed her hair, suddenly feeling tears in her eyes. She hated it when pop songs did that to her. But think of her parents, only in their early 50’s back when she was in college. So young! Her dad still got up and put in the long hours as an accountant every week, mad hiker by weekend. Her mom still taught third grade, introducing kids to the joys of reading and the fears of multiplication tables.
On instinct, she reached for her cell phone. It might only make phone calls, but right then that’s all she wanted to do.
“Hello?”
No caller ID on their landline; her mom didn’t know it was her. Clara smiled into the phone. “Hi, Mom. It’s Clara.”
“Clara! Are you OK?”
Clara laughed, choking up a bit as she realized how infrequently she’d called her parents. Picking up the phone signaled an emergency. “No, Mom, I’m fine. I just felt like calling and saying hi.”
“Oh, honey, that’s nice!” Her mom paused a moment, then asked, “What’s wrong?”
Laughing again, Clara reassured her. “I’m fine, I mean it. I only have a minute.” She noted the clock; if she wanted to pick up a sweatshirt for Jessica she needed to book. “But, I wanted to call and say I love you.”
“Oh! Well, I love you, too.”
“What are you up to today?” Clara could hear water running; she pictured her mom cradling the phone under her chin at the kitchen sink.
“I’m washing some dishes.” Bingo! “And doing some prep work. It’s native birds week.”
Clara could see it: the painted Styrofoam sparrows she’d hang with clear wire from the classroom ceiling, the life-size poster of the California Condor with the giant hooked beak and yellow-rimmed eyes that had given her nightmares.
“You are such a great teacher.”
“Oh, well, you know I get a kick out of these projects.”
“How’s Dad?”
Her mom let out a whistle. “P.Oed.” As an elementary school teacher, this was the extent of swearing allowed in the Taylor household. “We have to replace all our heating ducts. We got our first estimate yesterday. $3,500.”
“Uh oh.”
“You can see the steam coming off of his head. He’s out hiking a twenty-mile loop or some such nonsense.”
“Can you guys afford it?”
“Can we afford it?”
“I mean…” Clara paused, realizing this was exactly the type of question she’d never asked her parents back in the day. She’d taken it for granted; bills got paid.
“Well, we sure have a list of other ways we’d like to spend the money,” her mother continued. “But, yes, we can manage.”
“I just mean, because you’re spending so much to send me to college.”
“Not anymore!” Clara could almost see the celebratory dance being performed back in the family kitchen in California. “We sent in our last payment back in December.”
“I know, I just… you’ve spent so much money on my education.”
“You know we’re happy to do it, Clara. There’s no better way to spend money. We’re so proud of you.”
Clara felt herself getting choked up again. “Thanks, Mom. I hope I don’t let you down. You know, after I graduate.”
“Oh, so that’s what this call’s about! You’re worried about graduating!” Clara began to protest, but her mother continued. “Honey, that’s perfectly natural. Don’t worry about what comes next. You know we’ll always love you. And we’re so happy you’re moving back closer to home. We miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I love you so much. And I’m so grateful—”
“Stop, now you’re going to make me cry.”
“OK.” Clara wiped a tear from her cheek, wishing she were close enough to give her mom a hug.
“OK.” Her mom’s voice sounded a bit shaky as well.
“Go paint some Styrofoam birds,” Clara laughed.
“I will. And you go study. You have finals coming up.”
“I know. I’ve gotta
go. Say hi to Dad from me. Maybe the second estimate will come in lower.”
“Oh, he’ll be all right. Casablanca’s on tonight. We’ll have some popcorn.”
“I wish I could join you.” Clara could taste it, her mother’s homemade kettle corn. She and her sister used to fight over who got the pieces with the most burnt, caramelized sugar.
“I love you, honey. Thanks for calling.”
“Love you, too.”
She added another item to her back-home-again To Do list: 1) flowers, 2) running sneakers, 3) visit her parents. She couldn’t believe that she lived only 20 minutes away from her family but never saw them. She’d been too zeroed in on Facebook couch time to ever head out for a home cooked meal. Now it seemed absolutely insane.
After a quick reply to Alek’s email, “See you at six! Thank you so much!”, she made a fast trip to the closet to grab a sweatshirt. And made another impulse grab. Some random guy’s fuzzy zip-up jacket had been hanging on a hook beside their door for months. Neither she nor Clara knew who it belonged to; no one had claimed it. And Clara knew someone she’d be seeing soon who might be chilly in the brisk Ithaca springtime.
She stepped outside, her last time there, nearly amazed into stillness. The campus couldn’t be more beautiful. Flowers blooming, birds singing, green grass covering every inch of quad. The gothic columns and solemn stone edifices of buildings, halls of learning, dotted the landscape along winding paths. The trees, oaks and maples and elms so stately, tall and healthy, filled the sky with their leaves. Clara took it all in, amazed by the bounty.
Wiping away another tear from her eye, she told herself to get a grip. She couldn’t spend her last day back in college weeping. She didn’t even feel sad, she just felt woken up, alive.
The guy on the bike wheeled by with his greeting. And as if on cue, she then heard that familiar voice.
“Clara? Clara Taylor?” The humungous backpack carrying that skinny freshman girl came hurtling toward her. And this time, Clara stood ready.
“Jane Henderson!” she called out. “How are you?”
“I can’t believe you remember me!” Jane pushed her thick glasses up her nose and gave Clara a wide, braces-filled smile.
“Of course I do. You ran track? You were really good!”
“I practically came to Cornell because of you!” Jane gushed, grasping the straps of her backpack. “You’re such an amazing runner.”
“Thank you! Hey, Jane, we should catch up. Later on today, what are you doing?”
Jane’s eyes widened, her smile if at all possible growing wider. “Nothing!”
“Want to come to the Sig Ep pig roast with me? We can hang out and I can introduce you to some of my friends.”
“That would be… I can’t imagine…” She looked as if Santa Claus had just given her her very own Tickle-Me-Elmo.
“Great. See you 3:15 at Sig Ep. You know where that is?”
The girl nodded at Clara, struck mute with happiness. She began walking away in a daze down the sidewalk.
“Watch out for that tree root!” Clara called out, saving her from tripping.
With seconds to spare, she still managed to pick up a sweatshirt for Jessica at the bookstore and meet her on time at the library steps.
“Jessica!” she greeted her warmly, relishing having a gift to give.
Jessica snuggled up in the sweatshirt in the back seat. Clara snuck a few peeks in the rearview mirror; she looked so young and content. She wondered again whatever happened to Jessica in the future? She had such a sweet, simple soul, Clara hoped she’d found a refuge somewhere—in school, with friends, a nice boyfriend, a good job, maybe even all of the above.
Clara pulled the car into a shady parking spot in the gravel lot. At their arrival, Jessica’s face broke into a full smile. Of course, Clara realized: she loved nature.
“Jessica,” Clara began as they left the car, also remembering to grab the extra jacket. “Have you ever thought about how you could get a job working outdoors when you grow up?”
Surprised by the question, Jessica shook her head ‘no’ and nervously began chewing on a strand of hair.
“I don’t mean to scare you. I’m not saying you have to decide right now what you’re going to do when you grow up.” Clara brought her hand gently to Jessica’s back for a moment. They started down their well-worn favorite path by the duck pond. “It’s just that I’m not going to be able to visit with you much more before I graduate. And I want the best for you. You’re such a smart, observant, lovely girl.”
Clara caught a flicker of a shy smile on her young face, gone in an instant.
“I know you like being outside a lot,” she continued. “There’s lots of things you could do when you grow up that could take you outdoors.”
“There are?” Jessica looked doubtful.
“Sure. You could be a research scientist that studies animals, like birds or fish. Or a policymaker, setting standards for clean water or air.” Jessica’s face clouded over. “Doesn’t sound good?” Clara asked.
Jessica shrugged. “So much school.”
“It does take a lot of school to do those things. But you like school.”
“Too much money.”
“Well, there’s scholarships and…” Clara stopped herself, recognizing from Jessica’s hunched up shoulders and hands jammed in her pockets maybe it was time to stop pushing. “Just remember there’s plenty of options.”
They continued along their way, Clara trying to shake a sense of her own lameness. She loved spending time with kids, but mentoring, talking about the grown up stuff, wasn’t so easy. Why had she started with listing jobs that required graduate degrees? Anyway, she’d try again. For now, there was spring to enjoy.
A frog croaked in the lush undergrowth. A mama duck swam proudly with three ducklings in tow; dad followed close behind. The air hummed with activity: dragonflies darting to and fro, birds chirping in tree branches, bees hovering by a flowering shrub.
A dirt trail forked out from the main path and Clara longed to explore it. With some good running sneakers, she could really set out and see where it led. Hold steady, she told herself. She’d be able to head out on a California trail soon enough.
After stopping to let Jessica feed the ducks, they continued on and Clara asked.
“Mind if we check out the snack hut? I know we usually get a cookie in town, but it’s so gorgeous out today. And there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
After Jessica’s slow and shy agreement, they began heading over. A figure stood behind the counter, dark in shadow but happily Clara could still make out a baseball cap and broad shoulders.
With a wave as they approached, she called out a sunny, “Hi, Alek!”
He looked up from his textbook, blinking like an owl caught in mid-daylight.
“How are you?” Clara continued with a radiant smile. He seemed dazzled and looked away, then back confused. She continued, “It’s so beautiful out today, isn’t it?”
He nodded his agreement.
“You getting some good work done?”
“Yeah.” He closed his book, a marker keeping his place. “What’s up?” Not so much a greeting as a confused search for explanation.
“We’re just out enjoying the sunshine. I saw you over here and thought we’d say hello.” Turning to Jessica, she asked, “Can I introduce you to one of my friends?”
Jessica nodded shyly.
“This is my little sister, Jessica, through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. But sometimes it feels like she’s my real little sister.” Jessica beamed up at her. “And this is Alek.” Clara gestured at the handsome, soon-to-be famous man, now giving an endearing wave and a smile to Jessica. “He’s a really smart grad student and he’s helped me a bunch with a tough class I’m taking.”
“Hi.” Jessica’s greeting barely rose above a whisper.
Gesturing at the locally-made cookies on the counter, he asked Jessica, “Would you like one?” Looking at Clara, he
added, “Would that be OK?”
“Absolutely, thanks,” Clara agreed.
“They do have nuts in them,” Alek apologized. “But they also have chocolate chips.” Jessica shrugged and took one, murmuring thanks and taking a few steps toward a giant flowering lilac bush. She began humming softly as she ate her cookie and examined the flowers up close.
“Why would anyone ruin a perfectly good chocolate chip cookie with nuts?” Clara asked Alek, conspiratorially.
“It’s a crime,” Alek agreed, and Clara felt she could easily spend the next few hours basking in the warmth of his smile.
Except that a chilly breeze picked up, making her rub her shoulders. “Chilly today. Oh, almost forgot…” She shrugged her backpack off her shoulder, unzipped it and took out the fuzzy jacket. “Are you cold? Would you like to borrow this?”
“What?” Alek looked at the jacket as if it were an alien species.
“Do you want to borrow this jacket?”
“You brought me a jacket?”
“Um, it’s chilly out?” Suddenly self-conscious, she continued on more rapidly, fueled by the power of nervous energy. She knew Alek was a big solar power advocate, but had he ever considered harnessing the alternate, alternate energy source: anxiety? She found it quite a powerful force. “You know how even though it’s sunny it’s cold? I’m from California so I always think sun means warm but here it can still be so chilly even with the spring sunshine. So a jacket can come in handy.”
Just as she was about to withdraw her hand and stuff the offending jacket back into her backpack, pretending the whole thing had never happened, Alek reached out and took it. “That’s… really thoughtful. Thanks. Here, let me give you a cup of coffee to warm you up.”
“Oh, no thanks,” Clara quickly intervened. Heat radiated off of her cheeks as she vividly recalled him taking off her shirt and caressing her breasts with a napkin.
Alek slipped on the jacket. She suppressed an appreciative “Mmm” at the sight of him looking rugged and ready for the wilderness. She couldn’t help but remembered her daydream from last time, the two of them off in a remote cabin. He’d wear a jacket just like that and go chop some wood, lumberjack-style, then head back into the cabin and…
Facebook Jeanie Page 18
