“Hey, you know who I got in touch with?” she asked quickly. “Jessica.” Then, of course, she realized there was no way he’d remember the young girl she’d introduced him to once, one day 10 years ago.
“Your little sister?”
“Yeah, you remember her?”
“I do. You guys spent every Saturday together.”
Clara flushed, recalling how he’d revealed he’d seen them at the park each weekend but never said hello. Had he disliked her so much? Had she honestly been such a jerk?
After a gulp of coffee, she continued. “Guess what? Jessica’s studying environmental science. She wants to be a park ranger.”
“No kidding?”
“I’m so happy for her. She seems to be doing really well.”
“That’s great. I’m sure you played a part in helping that happen.”
“I don’t know about that. I seem to remember you were the one who suggested she become a park ranger.” Oops. Was that weird that she could recall the exact details of a conversation they’d supposedly had 10 years ago?
Alek shook his head, his full lips curving into a smile. “If anyone had an impact on her future it was you, spending every Saturday with her.”
Clara studied her fingernails. She certainly didn’t over-credit her role in Jessica’s life. At the same time, she knew that in the first go-round of life she couldn’t find any way to get in touch with Jessica. But after the brief sit-down during which she and Alek had explicitly told Jessica that she was smart, capable and should think about becoming a park ranger—boom. A Google search revealed Jessica’s Facebook page and enrollment in community college.
Could it really make that much of a difference? A few words of encouragement from some adults, a quick light shown down a career path? There was an idea in there somewhere, something that she wanted to do as her next step in her career. Some kind of mentoring with kids, or helping them explore or figure out future possibilities.
“I can tell you’ve got some good thoughts going on in there.” Alek smiled at her dreamy, distracted expression.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.” Clara shook her head. “I’m just thinking about how even a small change can make such a big difference.”
“Yeah. I see it happen all the time.”
Oh, right. Clara realized the simplistic, obvious nature of her Deep Thought. After all, he did research science for a living. He’d probably done an experiment or two.
“I guess it’s something you’ve probably thought about,” she acknowledged. “Action, reaction. Since you’re a scientist and all.”
“Once or twice,” he shrugged.
“Well,” she raised her coffee. “Consider it a tip from me to you. Change the input, get a different outcome.”
“Wise advice.”
“I was pretty good at physics.”
Alek nearly snorted out his coffee.
“Really? Did you have to laugh?”
He nodded. “I had to laugh.”
They sipped their coffees, each running low. Clara could see from the clock on the wall they’d already run through an hour together. How had that happened? She didn’t want to have to say good-bye already. It seemed so unfair.
“What are you up to now?” Alek asked.
Was he asking her out of idle curiosity? Simply making conversation? “I thought I might buy a new running tank. There’s a store up the street.”
“I know it. It’s a great store.”
“How about you?”
“I have a party to go to.”
Of course he did. Because he was a cover model, a rock star for solar energy, and dating a gorgeous woman.
“One of my colleagues is having a backyard barbeque,” Alex continued. “His daughter just turned one.”
“Oh! My sister just had the same party. My niece is one.”
“Then maybe you can help me? I have to buy a gift and I have no clue. I figure a bottle of wine might not go over too well.”
“Oh, bring the wine for mom and dad. They need it,” Clara assured him. “But a one-year old?” She made a dubious face.
“Not wine?” He grinned.
“Not so much. But I’d love to help you pick something out. I’ve been spending a ton of time with Emma lately. She loves this plastic mesh ball. She can throw it and chew on it because she’s teething. And she loves lift-the-flap books.”
Alek looked mystified. “Lift the flap?”
“You know…” She pantomimed lifting something open.
He shook his head. “If you have the time, do you want to head down the street? There’s a toy store about a block away. Maybe you could—?”
“I’d love to!”
The zeal in her response might have been over-the-top. The flush in her cheeks was definitely silly. And the huge flutter in her stomach was way out of proportion to the light touch he gave to the small of her back while they exited the store.
But, for the moment, it felt so good. Better than before, they clicked so easily. She wanted nothing more than to keep seeing him, talking and then somehow finding her way closer to finally eliminate that annoying gap between their two bodies which served no good purpose, really. Who needed space when you could touch instead?
And, of course, she’d get around to asking about Tatayna. She would do that. Totally.
First, though, she needed a few more moments to bask. Walking together in the summer sunlight, she wanted to stop, close her eyes, feel the rays on her face. Then pretend to brush some nonexistent lint off his shoulder. Or fake a fall and grab his arm. And maybe, just maybe she could work in a good-bye hug once they actually did say good-bye.
And definitely, soon she’d bring up his gorgeous girlfriend. She would hear all about their cloying happiness and once and for all burst this perfect bubble.
CHAPTER 22
NIGHTSWIMMING
It happened after the running store. The running store happened after the wine shop, which they headed to after the gourmet cheese shop—hard to pass it by, after all. That all happened after the toy store which, happily, had a fantastic collection of lift-the-flap books.
Unhappily for Clara, as the two of them emerged from the running shop out onto the sidewalk, brimming with energy and laughter, Alek mentioned Tatyana. The warmth and affection in his voice as he said her name chilled Clara to the bone. He said something friendly and effusive about how she and Clara would have to meet soon. They’d be sure to get along.
Clara felt her heart slip down past her stomach, then slink away into a shady and forgotten patch under a drainpipe. He continued talking about Tatyana, spinning some yarn which revealed both her charm and her humor. Clara hated her with a burning passion.
“She sounds great,” she managed through clenched teeth, suddenly wishing Rockridge had as many taxi cabs as New York City. Or any taxi cabs at all. She looked down the street filled with annoyingly conscientious Smart cars and zipcars and Priuses, not to mention hip and fit people tooling around on bicycles and skateboards. Where was a good, old-fashioned getaway car when a girl needed one?
“There’s no one like Tatyana,” Alek assured her, a smile of pure, unadulterated affection on his face.
“How long have two you been a couple?” Clara figured she may as well bang a few more nails into the coffin of their imagined relationship. Just in case some sleepless night she managed to surpass her previous pathetic record for convincing herself that stalking a taken guy on Facebook was a good idea. She could use a few more devastating facts to kill her crush, really squash it flat like a bug.
“Couple?”
“How long have you guys been going out?”
“No,” Alek laughed. “Tatyana’s my little sister.”
Clara’s heart leapt a few tall buildings in a single bound.
“The one who had to stay back in the Czech Republic?” Her voice traveled up at least an octave in the course of asking the question.
“You remember me telling you that?”
&n
bsp; “Like it was yesterday!”
“Wow.” Alek looked at her, almost as pleased as she looked. “Well, I was able to bring her over here for college. Now she lives in Berkeley, too. She got married a couple of months ago.”
Was that a rainbow bursting out of the clouds? Clara knew her face beamed too radiant, that she stood too close to him—close enough almost to reach out and grab him. None of that could she change; the excitement and relief was too much. As if someone had unfastened the restraints holding her down her in a room without gravity, she now floated free.
“So you thought I had a girlfriend?” Alek asked.
“I wasn’t sure. I guess I just assumed.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, either!” she gushed, then bit her lip to stop anything else even lamer from coming out. Too excited to stay silent, however, she busted out with the gem, “Are you sure you’re single? Because it seems like, you know, you were just on the cover of a magazine.”
“The college alumni magazine,” he corrected. “It’s not People. And, yes, I’m a hundred percent sure I’m single. I mean…” he paused, perhaps feeling he’d made himself sound less than desirable. “It’s not like I haven’t dated.” She smiled up at him. “I’ve dated people.”
This got better and better the more he protested. She had to tease him. “You were just waiting for me.”
“Maybe I was.” They stood together on the sidewalk, both grinning the kind of grin that others, in all honesty, might find kind-of dumb but the two involved parties, the grinners, found charming. Also, neither one in any way wanted to acknowledge the fact that they’d finished all of the errands they’d set out to do. Plus the cheese shop.
“So…”Alek ran his hand along the back of his neck. “You probably don’t have the time, but my friend’s house is near here. The one having the barbecue. It started about an hour ago. I was planning on stopping by, but not staying long. Any chance you’d want to come with?”
“To the barbeque?”
“I bet you’d like them. Raj and his wife are great.” As if that’s why she’d be interested.
“I’d love to come.”
So simple, after all that. The time travel, the fighting, the late-night interrupted kiss. Here on a sunny Saturday in June, their lives merged together seamlessly.
At the barbeque he got her some lemonade and introduced her to everyone. They made each other laugh, took turns talking. He gently tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear. She brought her thumb up to his lower lip, slowly brushing away a stray sliver of chip. The way he looked at her made her swallow, hard, and feel momentarily dazed; it was the chip sliver that stopped time. But not really—that only happened with Facebook apps.
At Alek’s outrageous claim that she was “one of his favorite people from college,” she had to set the record straight.
“He hated me,” she told a friendly Asian man Alek introduced as one of his partners.
“No, I hated that you hated me,” Alek protested.
They bantered their way through the party, becoming the king and queen of the gratuitous touch. A hand to the small of her back as Alek led her to another circle of friends. A light brush against his arm as she laughed at something he said.
As fun as it was to be together at the party, she felt a thrill when he leaned down and asked if she wanted to head out to grab a bite to eat. Despite the fact that his friends were firing up the grill. And the fact that they’d been surrounded by large platters of fruit and chips and cheese and crackers. Clara had, admittedly, not eaten much. She’d been less focused on the food and more focused on Alek’s hand resting lightly under her elbow as they walked or at the way the sunlight glinted in his hair as they talked.
They said their good-byes. Alek and Clara promised to get together soon with the host and hostess, who were, she had to agree, great. When they walked slowly along the street and she tripped a little in her sandals on a crack, he caught her hand to steady her and then didn’t let go.
Even when they popped into a Tapas bar to grab a drink and a light bite, he held her hand or rubbed her shoulder asking if she were chilly in the air conditioning. He felt so yummy that she very nearly sat right in his lap at the restaurant, but she still had an ounce of social norms keeping her in check. For the moment, anyway.
The only time she bristled—and then, only for a moment—was when he reminisced about college.
“You always knew how to have a good time.” Though he said it with affection in his eyes, she immediately could picture both the real dismissiveness in his earlier self and how he hadn’t made it all up. He’d thought she was an airheaded California party girl. He hadn’t been 100% right, but maybe not 100% wrong.
“I partied a lot in college,” she agreed, somewhat guarded.
“I was too harsh in college,” Alek said. “I was all work and no play with a huge chip on my shoulder. I must have been awful to be around.”
“No, you were wonderful.” She gazed at him, her deep affection casting a rosy glow over all her memories.
He looked at her, arching an eyebrow, doubting. OK, maybe sometimes he’d been somewhat bristly.
“But look where all that hard work has gotten you?” She wanted to make him feel better, hoped he truly felt proud of all he’d accomplished. “Life was a party for me in college. I had a great time, but once I hit a rough patch later in life I was completely floored. I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“But look at you now. You seem like you’re doing so well.” Alex clearly felt the same desire to reassure. “You seem so grounded, so content.”
Clara had to burst out laughing at that one. She could picture a very recent moment captured in time with a huge blotch of wine stained down the front of her sweatshirt. Jauntily perched atop her crazy, frizzy unwashed hair: a cat turban.
“I guess I’ve made some progress lately. Gotten a new perspective.”
“You seem happy.”
“I am.” Clara realized she meant it as she said it. She pictured Jeanie, peppy in pink, out and about exploring farmer’s markets and kayaking at sunrise. “It’s a gift to be here.”
“I’ve always loved Rockridge,” Alek agreed.
“Well, yeah, but I meant… here.” She paused, feeling self-conscious yet determined to try to explain what she meant. Typically the sole province of self-help gurus and priests, she, Clara Taylor Time Traveler, had something to say on the subject of happiness. “What I mean is, it’s a gift to be here in the world. Alive. We should celebrate that. We need to take risks and live fully each day, not take life for granted.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” Alek raised his glass and they clinked, smiling at each other. Clara flushed and tried hard to remember that she shouldn’t jump over into his lap. It almost seemed criminal to allow that man the benefit of soft lighting in a romantic restaurant. His eyes wielded enough power on a regular old sidewalk in the middle of the day. Here, at night, illuminated by the flicker of a candle at their table and with seductive flamenco music in the background, he was a loaded weapon. He needed a license to operate that gaze.
“OK, speaking of taking risks.” He drew a deep breath. “I have to tell you, I had a thing for you in college. Starting long before your senior year.”
“Really?” She didn’t mind hearing it; in fact, it made her feel rather tingly. But it didn’t make sense. “We didn’t know each other before I was a senior. And you really seemed—”
“Like I hated you, I know. It was my mature way of expressing frustration and jealousy. During all those long TA sessions it drove me crazy to have you so close but never…” He stretched out his hands, palms up, as if trying to grasp something, then closed his fingers in on nothing but air.
Having difficulty breathing, Clara took a sip of her wine and wondered, was it too late to volunteer to be grasped in his large and capable hands?
“I didn’t know,” she managed.
Alek gave her a
wry smile. “You didn’t exactly have a crush on me back then.”
“But how, before you were my TA senior year—?”
“Your freshman fall you must have had a class near my dorm. Every Tuesday and Thursday around 9am you’d ride up on your bike. I used to wait until you got there to leave my dorm. You made me late all the time.”
“Sorry.” Clara blushed, not quite believing this piece of history. Yet he did look deliciously honest.
“It was my fault,” Alek assured her. “You’d ride up, no helmet, long blonde hair streaming out behind you. In tiny sundresses and flip flops like you were heading to the beach.”
“Only it was Ithaca,” Clara remembered, laughing. You could take a girl out of California, but you couldn’t take the California out of the girl. Until the first snow when she ran crying to her friends and got help ordering a bunch of bulky, quilted clothes from companies like LL Bean.
“It was freezing.”
“I remember.” Clara nodded. “It took me a while to adjust. I grew up here where fall is so warm and gorgeous.”
“Did you not realize you’d moved to upstate New York?”
She smacked him on the arm, light and flirty, an excellent excuse to let her hand linger on his bicep. Someone left the lab occasionally for the gym. Good to know, from a purely objective standpoint.
“Anyway, I’d see you,” he continued, “and I swear it was like you’d stepped out of a movie. You’d slide off your bike. Shake out that hair.”
“Was it kind-of like slow mo?” Clara laughed. Not one to let a seductive opportunity like this pass her by, she shook out her hair, all sultry and pouty.
His eyes might have darkened slightly, but then again it could have been the candlelight. His voice did have a decidedly husky note though as he told her, “It used to drive me crazy.”
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