by Sephiri J
“We don’t need nobody watching us, no eyes but your eyes, ain’t nobody here but you and me. Licking your private parts, and I know you love your privacy,” I sang along to the lyrics of Chris Brown’s “Privacy” as I drove in my BMW across I-195 toward the beach. That song got me every time I heard it, I just felt that shit.
I grabbed my phone from the center console and sent off a quick text.
Me: Bae I’m on the way.
I hadn’t seen my baby in a couple weeks, and I was feenin’ for some sex. I was a private ass nigga and no one in my circle knew I had a significant other, even though we’d been together for over a year now. My phone buzzed, and I looked down to see that I had a text.
Bae: K. I’m home.
I couldn’t help but smile because I was ready to tear that ass up when I got to the crib. Me and Guwop were real good friends, and I knew he would feel some type of way if he knew I was boo’d up and never mentioned it. Whenever we went out to the clubs, he would always be trying to push me on some random bitches, and I would never bite. Them bitches wasn’t my type, though. They did nothing for me, and I wasn’t ’bout to entertain no bitches when I knew my dick wasn’t gonna get hard if I even attempted to get in their face.
I’d just gotten off the phone with Guwop because he told me he was in on the plan I told him about the other day to steal the cars. I was happy as a motherfucker when he told me that shit because I needed that money bad. I was annoyed, though, when he said City was in on it too because I didn’t fuck with City like that anymore. I was just glad bae had hit me up to tell me to come by. I wasn’t trying to think about this situation anymore. I was ready to be in them sheets.
Ten minutes later, I pulled up to the house and parked on the street. As I parked the car, I ran my hand through my curly hair and stepped out. I was half black and half Puerto Rican with butterscotch skin. I knew I was a fine nigga, and bitches always stared at me, trying to get my attention. I wasn’t interested, though. In the last year, I only had eyes for one person.
Walking up the pathway, I knocked on the door and waited patiently. A few seconds later, I heard the door unlock and open.
A huge grin spread over my face when I saw Rigs Bailey on the other side of the door. He grinned right back at me and pulled me inside.
“I missed you. What’s up, babe?” I said as he closed the door behind me.
He grabbed my face and pressed his lips on mine. My dick jumped instantly. This man did this shit to me every time.
Me and Rigs met at a club over a year ago. He was with his crew, and I was with City and Guwop chillin’. He looked at me, and I didn’t look away. It was like some instant chemistry shit. I knew of him because of City. Him and City didn’t get along because of family beef or some shit, but I also knew he had a shop and was trying to make a name for himself too. Plus, the fact that physically, he was fine to me made me unable to stop staring at him that night.
I’d walked up to the bar to get a drink that night in the club, and he came up beside me. He’d leaned in close to me, and said, “I saw you starin’. We should chill.”
Next thing I knew, I’d stepped out with him to his car, and he’d driven to his house. The rest was history, and I’d loved him since then.
When we broke our kiss, he pulled back from me and looked into my eyes. I looked at him and saw that he had some bruises around his eyes. Reaching up to touch him, I frowned.
“What the fuck happened to your face?” I asked upset.
“I got into a fight. City jumped me the other day in my shop,” he said.
I felt my blood pressure rise when he said that. City was always on some shit, that’s why I wasn’t fuckin’ with him anymore.
After me and Rigs got together, he told me stories about how City and his mom would cause havoc in him and his mother’s life because they were jealous his father never left her to be with them. It was some bullshit. Rigs didn’t fuck with anyone, but City stayed bullying him, and I was sick of that shit. I was good off City after I heard those stories, and I just stopped fucking with him after that.
“You beat his ass back, though, right?” I said as I reached out and touched the bruises on his face.
He moved his head back.
“Nah, he pulled a gun on me. He went crazy, man,” he said, and I saw red.
“He pulled his strap on you? What the fuck?” I yelled angrily.
This dumb beef was one thing, but for City to threaten my man’s life was a whole different game. No one knew we were together. Shit, no one knew I was gay for the most part. No one knew Rigs was gay either. He said he had a lot to lose by coming out, and he wanted to be more established and shit before he did because he didn’t want people to look at him differently. I felt salty about that to a degree, but I understood where he was coming from. It made me pissed off that I couldn’t get at City the way I really wanted to for what he did to my man.
“Don’t worry about its babe. I’m gonna get him back. Just gotta think of the right thing,” he said.
He looked so sad as he said that to me, and I wanted more than everything to take everything he was going through and handle it.
I pulled him closer to me and kissed him again. With him, I felt like I fit. I’d been looking for a minute to find the person I was supposed to be with. I’d dated a couple girls here and there, but nothing ever felt right. Rigs was the first nigga I’d been with, and I was dead ass in love with him. He kissed me back hard, and I felt my dick bricking up. But in the middle of the kiss, I had an idea. I pulled away over Rigs’ objection. He acted tough as nails when he was around his boys, but when it was just the two of us, this nigga was emotional as fuck.
“I got an idea, babe,” I said and grinned at him.
He looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. It was crazy how much he looked like City. “What you talkin’?”
“Me and Guwop setting up a job where we robbing this nigga I know who transports cars. I found out today that City gonna be in on the whole thing too. What if after the job, and after Guwop makes the money, I steal the money from Guwop and make him think City snatched it and turned on him?” I said, thinking the idea over in my head.
“How you gonna manage that?” Rigs asked me.
I shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but Ima figure it out. Guwop don’t play about his money, so if he finds out City stealing from him, they will be beefin’ heavy. He’d probably kill his ass.”
“Oh shit. Baby, you’d do that for me?” Rigs asked, grinning up at me.
“I sure would,” I said.
“Shit, aight, then. Let’s do that then,” Rigs said. “I can think of a couple ways to tell you I love the fuck out of you.” He gave a knowing smirk, and I bit down my bottom lip.
“You gon’ show me or what?” I said as he pulled me toward him. I was ready than a motherfucker.
17
Bo
Later that day
“Baby girl, you need to answer your phone when we call you. I’ve been worried about you for the last week,” my father said in the voicemail he left on my phone. “I know you’re upset about what happened at the wedding, and I know you don’t want to come around much because of your mother, but please Bo, answer the phone when I call you. I just want to talk.”
I fanned the tears that I felt coming to my eyes and held my head back, so they wouldn’t slide out. I knew that what I did was going to embarrass my father, and I couldn’t face talking to him or seeing his face. My mother’s anger I could deal with because she was materialistic, and I wasn’t that close to her. My father, on the other hand, was a different story. I was a daddy’s girl through and through. Ever since I could remember, my father would bend over backward for me.
When I had my first crush, he was the one I ran to tell. When I got kissed for the first time, he was the one I told, not my mom. When I was stressed out with school, he would talk me off the ledge and tell me I was smart enough to pass any class. We were really close because he was the one who I loo
ked to for how a man should treat me. So, speaking to him after this embarrassment that I’d just lived through, knowing that I also embarrassed him in the process, it wasn’t something I was ready to do yet. But I knew the longer I waited the harder it was going to be.
I picked up the phone and dialed his number.
“Hey Daddy,” I said when he picked up.
“Bo,” he said, and I could hear the relief in his voice. “Are you okay? I’ve been calling you every day.”
“I know, Daddy. I’m fine,” I said and sighed.
“You’re not. I know you. I need to talk to you, Bo,” he said. I didn’t say anything, though. “Your mother isn’t here right now. Can you come to the house?”
I knew since he had me on the phone now, he wouldn’t let up until I said yes. Plus, the fact that my mother wasn’t there made me a little more comfortable with going to the house.
“Okay, Daddy. I’m on the way,” I said.
I hung up and jumped into my Benz to drive over to my parents’ house. They lived in a beautiful gated community in West Broward. As I drove up the street toward their house, I felt myself getting anxious again. Growing up with my parents, there was so much pressure to be perfect. My mother had put me in ballet, piano, violin lessons, gymnastics, and a bunch of other things when I was younger. We had private tutors who came to the house to make sure my grades were good in every class, so I could get into a good college.
Since I was a teenager, I’d known that they wanted me and Dontrell to be together just because of who his family was, and even though I hated them for putting my life together for me, I loved him, so I went with it. My mother was the main one who pushed on me this idea of what she wanted for my life. And when I pushed back, she called me ungrateful and difficult. She did the same thing to my sister, but my sister liked that shit, I was convinced, so she went with it, no questions.
My dad was the one who would speak up for me, although he didn’t push as hard as I wanted him to. He would tell my mom I was my own person, but when she would say she knew what was best for me, he would back off and let her have her way. As I grew older, I became more and more resentful of my mother for being the way she was, and she could tell. Which was why I was glad that I would be at the house now without her.
I pulled up into the driveway and walked up to the door. I still had a key, so I used it to open the door.
“Daddy,” I yelled as I stepped inside.
“I’m out on the patio,” I heard my father’s deep baritone say.
I walked out and saw him sitting in the back. He even had a bottle of pink Moscato in a wine cooler with a glass outside waiting for me. That was my favorite wine. I couldn’t help but smile. When he saw me, he stood and held his arms out to hug me. I sank into him, and involuntarily, I started to cry. I hated that shit. I didn’t like tears; I felt weak whenever I cried. But there was something about being around my father that made me feel like a vulnerable twelve-year-old again.
“It’s okay, Bo,” he said while stroking my hair.
For the first time since the wedding, I just let everything out. When I was with Sade, she let me vent and then we partied, so I could forget. But I hadn’t had a chance to just cry. And so, I did. I stood there with my dad for damn near ten minutes just crying. By the time I calmed down and stepped back, his shirt was drenched in tears.
I wiped my eyes, and he looked down at his chest and chuckled.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I said while wiping my face with a napkin on the table.
“Don’t even worry about this. Sit,” he said and pointed to the chair. I sat and looked at him as he poured me a glass of the wine. My father was such a handsome man. I wondered for the millionth time why he stayed with my overbearing, controlling mother for so long. He had chocolate skin like me and a strong jaw line that sat below brown, almond shaped eyes and full lips. He wore his hair low, which had flecks of gray in it that matched the gray in his beard. When he smiled, laugh lines erupted around his eyes and mouth, and he was tall, around 6’1”.
I took the glass from him when he poured it and sipped on the cool wine.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
“Home. With Sade. Just hanging out, really,” I said.
I thought about City, but I wasn’t about to mention him to my father. City made me feel alive and happy but bringing him up to my father was a big step, and we were just getting to know each other. So, he would stay my secret for now.
“Have you heard from Dontrell? He needs to apologize to you,” my father said.
I looked at him. “You know your wife said I need to apologize to him, right?”
My father frowned then shook his head. He looked away from me out into the back yard. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
I felt warm when he said that because I swear I was living in a whole other world when my mother spoke to me.
“What he did to you was wrong, and he doesn’t deserve a woman like you,” he said looking back at me.
I felt myself beginning to tear up again and I looked down into my glass at the pink liquid.
“I loved him, Daddy. I don’t understand why he would do me like that,” I said, shaking my head.
“I know, baby. He did you wrong, but you will have to get over it. He isn’t losing sleep over you, so you shouldn’t lose sleep over him. Karma will come back at him faster than you will even realize. I promise you that. Just wait and see. And when it does, all you need to do is sit back and watch,” he said.
I gave a weak smile. “Mom probably hates me, though. I embarrassed her in front of all her rich friends,” I said rolling my eyes.
“She will live,” my father said. “She is mad still, I won’t lie. I’m sure she and your sister have a lot to say, but that shouldn’t concern you. Live your own life, Bo.”
“I will, Daddy. I am,” I said. “I got a job photographing at a tattoo convention a few days ago,” I said proudly.
He smiled at me. “That’s great, baby girl.”
“Yeah, I even got a few jobs out of that from the people I met. I’m excited about it,” I said.
“I’m proud of you,” he said.
The warm feeling that I had sitting with my father quickly disappeared when I heard a familiar voice.
“I knew that was your car out front,” I heard my mother say as I heard the front door open.
I turned to see her walking through the door in a Chloe sundress and sunglasses. My sister walked in right behind her wearing Prada jeans and a blouse. They both looked like they stepped out of a magazine, but I felt instantly nauseous.
“So, you finally decided to surface and come see your family?” my mother said, walking up to us. She had a few shopping bags in her hand.
“I thought you weren’t coming home until later tonight?” my father said. He glanced over at me because he knew I was annoyed already.
“Well, it’s a good thing I changed my mind, or who knows when I would have seen my daughter? I was starting to forget what you looked like,” she said.
I rolled my eyes and stood.
“It’s all good. I was just leaving,” I said and put the glass down.
“No, Bo, just stay for dinner,” my father pleaded with me.
“Where are you running off to? I hope back to Dontrell to ask him to take you back,” my mother said before turning her back to me and walking back into the house.
“I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire in the dessert,” I replied, her making her turn to look at me with shock on her face.
“Bo, I swear, I don’t know who raised you. When you’re in my house, speak with some respect. I raised a lady, not a ghetto tramp,” she said.
“Yes, I know,” I said and walked over to my father. I stooped down to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, Daddy,” I said.
“Bye Bo,” he said. He looked defeated and I felt bad for him. I would be depressed too if I had to live every day of my life around my mother.
I walked back
into the house past my sister who just stared at me. She was two years older than me, but we were never close. She was a mini version of my mother. Beautiful, high maintenance, and pretentious. She always thought and acted like she was better than me, and it hurt a lot because I wanted a sister who I could talk to about life shit. But we never were like that. Thank God I had Sade in my life because she was closer to me than any real life sister I could ever ask for.
“I’m leaving,” I said to her, but she didn’t answer. She did reach her hand out to stop me from walking.
I looked down at her hand and manicured nails holding my arm then back into her eyes. Her face was beat, and her makeup was flawless.
“Why did you think doing all that at the wedding was the right way to go?” she asked.
I pulled my arm out of her grip and crossed my arms over my chest. “How would you have preferred for me to handle the fact that the man I loved was lying to me for months and had a whole baby on the way?” I asked sarcastically.
“You didn’t have to embarrass him like that. That’s all I’m saying. He was still a good guy,” she said.
“Are you serious? Look, I’m leaving,” I said.
“You’re going to end up alone and lonely forever if you don’t lose that attitude,” she said.
“Yeah, like you are?” I said defiantly back at her.
She bristled. My sister had been engaged once before, but her fiancé left her, and she never found anyone else. She acted like she was God’s gift to the world and always had her nose in my business, but she couldn’t even get her own life together. She stayed under my mother, and the two of them just talked about everybody else like a pair of miserable bitches.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I said and walked away from her.
I hated the fact that I let them get under my skin. I was glad I came over and saw my father because I missed him a lot and wished I could see him more than I did. But the environment he was in with my toxic mother and my snide sister, I couldn’t have myself surrounded by that energy.
