by FJ Campbell
There was a pause as almost everyone turned towards her, the girls wishing they looked like her, the boys wishing they could, just once even, get their hands on that perfect, lithe body. Edward’s gaze moved from Beth over everyone and landed on Milo, who lay in the water staring fixedly up at the cloudless sky.
The moment of quiet was broken as, with a splash, she jumped in.
*
They dried off in the sun. Edward smoked more and felt a languor in his body and a fuzzy happiness in his brain. The sun was seeping through his closed eyelids and into every pore of his skin, drying and warming him. He sighed with pleasure. He sat up slowly and looked around him. Beth was lying on her side next to Livvy, talking to her in an undertone. Henry was reading a magazine. Susanna and Finn were sitting opposite each other, playing cards. Billy and Jake were having an arm-wrestling contest on a dead tree branch, bleached white by the sun, with Guy adjudicating. Milo was sitting on the riverbank, talking to Melanie, who was leaning back on her hands, face turned up to the sun, eyes closed. As Edward watched, Milo leant towards her and kissed her neck. Edward glanced at the group – nobody was looking that way except for him. Melanie turned her face to Milo’s and kissed him on the mouth. He shifted his body awkwardly nearer to her and Edward could see that the kisses were getting quicker, more urgent. Milo stopped and looked down at the river. Melanie dipped her face and asked him something. He nodded his head.
Edward checked to see if anyone else had seen the kiss. They were all doing exactly the same as before. Had he imagined it? He heard a splash and Milo was in the river again. Melanie came back and lay on the blanket next to Finn and Susanna, with a small smile on her face.
BJ and Guy hurtled across from the woods, sweating and jostling each other.
‘We’re bored. Wake up, everyone. Let’s play Truth or Dare.’
‘What are you, thirteen?’ complained Livvy.
But Susanna and Finn put down their cards and everyone sat up.
Milo came over from the river and shook himself all over them, like a wet dog. He parked himself next to Melanie and handed out more beers. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Truth or Dare.’
Milo raised his eyebrows. Edward caught a sideways look from him to Melanie.
Billy said, ‘I’ll start. With… you, little sis.’
Livvy groaned.
‘Truth or dare?’
‘Truth,’ she said resignedly.
‘OK.’ Billy rubbed his hands together. ‘Have you been all the way with Henry?’
‘Oh God, you really are thirteen. Why does this always have to be about sex? No, I have not fucked Henry, you perv. Your turn. Truth or dare?’
‘Dare.’
‘Jump off the bridge into the water.’
Milo started to object that the water wasn’t deep enough, but Billy sprinted to the bridge, vaulted over the railing and splashed into the water.
‘Too easy,’ he shouted. ‘Whose turn now?’
Jake asked Susanna, ‘Truth or dare?’
‘Truth.’
‘Have you and Finn ever had a threesome?’
‘Why, are you offering?’
Finn spurted beer out of his nose and everyone cracked up.
Susanna asked Edward, and to everyone’s surprise he said, ‘Dare.’
‘Who are you and what have you done with Markham?’ said Guy.
Susanna whispered something to Finn, who nodded and fell back laughing. ‘Strip off.’
‘Wh… what?’
Susanna shrugged. ‘I’ve always wanted to see a naked head boy.’
Edward looked around. ‘Be very afraid, Milo, your turn next.’ But as he said it, he was already taking off his shorts. He took a deep breath and pulled down the elastic on his boxers. The girls screamed with embarrassment and Edward stood there with his arms held high above his head until someone told him to put it away. He got dressed again and sat down, elated and red in the face. Livvy was whispering something in Beth’s ear, giggling.
‘My turn. Milo – truth or dare?’ asked Edward.
‘There’s no way I’m getting my kit off. Truth.’
Edward blurted out, ‘Who would you rather kiss, right here, right now – Beth or Melanie?’
There was a heavy silence. Edward’s eyes darted to Beth, who was trying to smile. Around the circle, he saw Milo frown and flash a glance at the river. Milo turned back towards Edward, who dropped his gaze. Everyone was waiting, holding their breath.
Milo twisted to Melanie and kissed her, gently holding the side of her head. The kiss went on for ages, and everyone was screaming with laughter and whooping.
‘When you choose “truth” you’re only supposed to say the answer, not do it.’
Milo and Melanie broke apart. She was grinning coyly, and Milo kept his eyes only on her.
The atmosphere had changed. Edward was appalled at himself. Why the hell had he said that? Milo had always been a good friend to him, but Edward had just put him in the awkward position of either hurting Melanie’s feelings, which he was too kind to do, or lying about his feelings for Beth, which he was too honest to do. Edward sat on the grass and wished with all his heart that he could disappear.
Milo was seething. He hadn’t meant it to happen, that kiss by the river, but he’d felt drunk and he liked Melanie, and knew she liked him, and she was pretty, and she was there. Obviously Edward had seen them kiss, and how could he have asked the one question that would really put him on the spot?
Beth couldn’t get her head around what had just happened. It was too much to process. All she knew was that when she saw Milo kissing Melanie with such obvious passion, her heart went cold. She tried to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t look at her.
The others could only guess at what was going on. Something was certainly strange between Milo, Edward and Beth, but more importantly, big news – Milo had kissed Melanie. Livvy and Susanna were swooning because it had been so strong and romantic. BJ, Finn, Henry and Guy couldn’t believe that Milo had been so… dynamic.
They packed up their stuff and headed through the woods towards school, each person holding back the branches for the next one. Sunburnt and spaced out, they peeled off towards their separate houses, calling their tired goodbyes. As Finn was walking Susanna up to her house, they heard quick footsteps behind them and Jake tapped her on the shoulder.
‘I’m leaving tomorrow. Any chance of that threesome?’
CHAPTER 22
‘Right, thank Christ for that,’ said Livvy the following day. ‘I’ve been waiting for years to get rid of my brothers.’
She turned to Beth, who was still waving at the taxi with BJ and Edward in it. Other upper-sixth-formers milled around, climbing into cars, saying goodbyes, some crying, some whooping with joy.
‘Let’s spend the afternoon having a beauty session. Sav’s got this crazy wax from Kenya, we can wax our legs, and I want to do face packs, pedicures, the lot. Are you up for it?’
Beth was sad about Edward leaving, but after he’d tried to kiss her again at the river, and after all that kissing between Milo and Melanie, it would be good to spend some time alone with the girls.
‘Sure, sounds lovely. Is Mel coming?’
‘I asked her, but she said she was busy.’ Livvy wiggled her eyebrows and left unsaid what they both knew – that Mel was more than likely with Milo.
Beth thought of his cottage, of October Hill and the secret garden. If he really liked her, these places would become Mel’s places. There it was again: that pang in her heart. Like someone had hit her with a sharp metal object.
There were four weeks until the end of term. Bowing finally to the pressure from Livvy and the other girls, Beth began to relax and enjoy herself more. She felt safe at The Island. Mr Toms had stuck to his word and there were no more stories in the press about her or her family. James and Anne wanted to take her away over the summer, to a place they’d found on a remote beach in Thailand, which they were going to rent for the whole of Au
gust. But Beth thought of St Emit, of Joel and his gang of locals, and knew that they’d have more fun there, surfing and playing hide-and-seek with anyone who got too nosy. She wrote Joel a letter, care of the surf shop, and he wrote back, saying he knew the perfect house to hire; they’d set it up and make all the preparations. He couldn’t wait to see her and his sweatshirt. She began to count the days.
It wasn’t that Beth had forgotten about her predicament and about Zack. But as the days trickled by, she thought less and less about him and what he’d done to her, and began to gain some perspective. Milo was right: it could have been worse. She sometimes had a fleeting memory of something Zack had said, a touch or a look, but these moments became fewer and easier to bear.
It was difficult for her to travel up to London for the English A Level theatre trip to see The Tempest. In the coach she fretted about meeting Zack. Henry had been assigned to look after her as he was in her English set and he tried his best to calm her down.
‘Beth, my darling, there’s no way in the world you’ll see him. With ten zillion people living in London, why would you bump into him?’
‘Because he’s still doing English A Level and The Tempest is a set text. So of course, just my luck, he’ll definitely be there tonight. Anyway,’ she shook her head and looked out of the window, ‘it’s not only him. I haven’t been in a crowd of people since Easter. What if someone recognises me? I should have stayed at school.’ She sighed. ‘Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about the lovely Livvy.’
It was Henry’s turn to sigh. He was silent for a moment before he spoke in a low voice. ‘I’d rather talk about the lovely Milo. That Kiss at Greenhill. Let’s talk about that.’
Beth blinked. ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
Henry turned to her and fastened his gaze on her. ‘I am. At least, I think I am. I adore Livvy, she’s like a sister to me. But when I dream about That Kiss, which I think it’s fair to say we all do, I dream about Milo, not Melanie. And the way he was as Seth. Mmm. So sexy. Do you know what I mean?’
‘Henry, this is huge. I had no idea.’ She gripped his hand, and he squeezed hers back.
‘Neither did I, really.’
‘Who else knows? Why are you telling me?’
Henry shrugged. ‘No one else. I figured you know how to keep a secret. Plus, if there’s anyone who understands unrequited love with regards to Mr West, it’s you.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’ve got completely the wrong idea. I’ve never been interested in him like that.’
‘OK, lady, you keep telling yourself that.’
Beth harrumphed, turned away and stared out of the window. She had thought about that kiss, she’d listened to Livvy describing every minute detail of it to Tab and Sav. Like something out of a film, the way Milo’s soft and yet strong hand touched Melanie’s face, kissing like nobody else was there, like they were the only two people in the world. Since then, Mel had been walking around school with a dazed look on her face, spending every minute by his side, the two of them – nicknamed ‘Milonie’ – disappearing off together whenever they could.
Beth thought about all the times she’d been alone with Milo, when he’d tried to tell her how he felt about her, and how dismissive she’d always been. She’d made him promise to leave her alone, she’d flirted with his friend and gone out with his nemesis, and – big surprise – he’d told her that he wasn’t interested in her any more. There were times when she saw him looking at her and she thought, He still loves me, but she couldn’t be sure it wasn’t wishful thinking.
Wishful thinking? What on earth was she going on about? She was being ridiculous. Nothing was ever going to happen with Milo. He was her friend. Her solid, decent, kind, loyal friend. After she’d run out of adjectives and to take her mind off Milo, she tried to imagine Henry snogging him, and started giggling.
‘What? What is it?’ demanded Henry.
‘I’m… I’m…’ She was doubled over with laughter and had tears in her eyes. ‘I’m trying to imagine’ – she hiccupped – ‘you seducing Milo.’
‘Don’t make me regret I told you.’ But he couldn’t help joining in. ‘Seriously though, how am I going to tell Livvy?’
‘She’s a big girl. We’ll think of something.’
*
The only other drama that evening was onstage – there was no sighting of Zack and nobody recognised Beth. When the coach got back from London it was past midnight. Beth slid into bed quietly, but Livvy was wide awake.
Livvy sat up and turned on the light by her bed. ‘You will never guess what.’
‘What?’
‘We were in the common room tonight and the TV was on; nobody was watching it really because all the boys were talking about sport and all the girls were talking about shopping, you know—’
‘Livs, get to the point, will you? I’m knackered.’
‘OK, well, anyway, bam: on the TV screen, there’s Zack’s face – and he’s on The Bill!’
‘What do you mean, The Bill? As in—?’
‘As in the rubbish cop programme, yes. He was an extra in it, he had literally one line. We were all sitting there, mouths open. Honestly, we were wetting ourselves. It was so… desperate. I wish you’d seen it.’
‘He probably did it to get his Equity card.’
‘Yeah, well, he can keep telling himself that.’
Beth cheered up when she saw him on The Bill, and she had to agree with Livvy, it was really lame. One of the fifth-formers had taped it and let Livvy borrow it from her. Beth had no idea whether the big-break American TV show had all been a crock of shit, but this was about as far away from Beverly Hills as you could get.
After her conversation with Henry on the coach, she tried to put thoughts of Milo out of her head completely. He was the same Milo as ever, but with a spring in his step. It was all paying off, his hard work at school and his positive way of seeing things. He was going to have one hell of a university application form next year – he was a scholar, rugby captain and head boy. Beth did notice, however, that he was looking thinner than she’d ever seen him. At mealtimes he shovelled as much food as he could into his mouth, and Beth wasn’t the only one to notice.
‘Whoa, big man, not eaten for a week?’ asked Guy, looking at Milo’s tray, piled with plates of food.
‘Hungry,’ mumbled Milo.
‘Too much sex, my friend.’ Guy winked at Melanie, who was sitting next to Milo. She rolled her eyes. Milo glared at him but didn’t stop eating.
Melanie said in a low voice to him, ‘Are you staying at the cottage tonight? I could sneak down later…’
Milo shook his head and gulped down a mouthful. ‘Told you, can’t stay there at the moment. Electricity’s on the blink.’
‘That’s OK, we can keep each other warm.’ She squeezed his leg. He pulled it away from her.
‘No. It’s too big a risk. If I get chucked out of here, that’s it for me. Don’t ask me again. Ever.’ His voice had risen, and everyone was listening. Beth saw him quickly glance up at Guy with a grim look on his face. Melanie had tears in her eyes.
Guy pushed himself up from the bench. ‘After you’ve licked that plate clean, you coming for a run?’ he said to Milo.
But Milo shook his head again, finished eating and turned to Melanie. He asked her something quietly, she nodded, and they got up and left together.
Guy sat down again. ‘Trouble in paradise.’
Beth tried to hide the smile that was creeping onto her lips. Especially when she looked at Henry and he was doing the same.
She received a letter from Edward, who was at home with Bonnie and their mother and the horses. The letter was strange, full of disconnected sentences, random thoughts and too many exclamation marks. Milo also had a letter, but he wouldn’t show it to her.
*
Two weeks until the end of term. Beth, Anne and James would go to Cornwall on the first day of the holidays, and everyone had an
open invitation to stay with them. On the nights before and after Edward’s party there would be a full house – the Roses, Finn and Susanna, Henry, Guy and Tab were all booked in.
Milo was going to stay at Edward’s house. Edward had written to apologise for the way he’d behaved at the river. He was so angry with himself, he wrote, and begged for forgiveness. He hadn’t been thinking clearly and it would never happen again. Milo forgave him immediately.
Mel wasn’t coming to the party. After her involvement in the fiasco at Easter, her parents had told her she had to get a holiday job, so she was au pairing for some family friends who were spending the whole summer on Sardinia.
Milo was relieved. He’d told Melanie he wouldn’t sleep with her at school and she had tried everything to get him to change his mind, sulking, cajoling and flirting. Some of the things she told him she’d do to him made him break out in a sweat. But he wouldn’t budge. He got the feeling that the minute she got him on his own outside of school, she would be unstoppable.
Guy thought he was off his rocker. They were cycling no-hands down the main drive, sharing a packet of crisps.
‘A girl, quite a hot girl actually, wants to shag you. She’ll do anything you want, she’s so dirty, and you refuse. What are you on?’
Milo shrugged.
‘I can’t understand you sometimes, Milo. Are you even of the male species?’
‘Why don’t you shag her, if you think she’s so hot?’
‘I said “quite hot”. I’m not stirring your cold porridge.’
‘But I haven’t… umm… stirred her porridge,’ said Milo, wincing at the words.
‘So, in summary: you won’t shag her, even though she’s gagging for it, and she’s your girlfriend, but you think I should…?’
Milo gave him a despairing look and conceded, ‘I’m confused about why we’re having this conversation.’
‘Join the club.’
Milo didn’t really know what to do about Melanie. She was a nice girl, and he liked kissing her a lot and he liked talking to her a bit, but he didn’t feel there was much more to it than that. Considering that he’d started it all, with those kisses at the river, he felt pretty bad about ending it with her. So he let it carry on, and he thought maybe he could write her a letter in the holidays or let it drift into nothing. It wasn’t much of a plan, as Livvy would say, but it was all he could think of.
