by Lauren Smith
Hugo’s broad smile made Lily’s stomach turn. “No. I’m afraid not.”
“Because you know I’m a crack shot. And you aren’t.”
“Believe what you will.” Hugo’s eyes slid to Lily’s, lingering a little too long, before he looked back to Charles.
Lily couldn’t believe she was finally seeing these two men face each other down. There was so much venom and rage between them, hidden behind polite smiles and formal postures, that she was surprised they hadn’t come to blows.
“Whatever happened to your valet? Tom, was it? I heard he left London. I wonder…did he ever reach his destination? Would be a damned shame if that boy and his sister went missing.”
Lily swallowed hard. She hadn’t sent the letter to Charles like she’d promised, telling him that she’d reached her aunt’s home safely.
Fury, the likes of which Lily had never seen, blackened Charles’s eyes. He took a step toward Hugo, and for a moment Hugo seemed uncertain if he should retreat.
“If that boy or anyone else goes missing, I will come for you. I’m not afraid to risk a trial for murder, not if it removes a black spot like you from this world.” Charles didn’t even raise his voice. He didn’t need to.
Hugo’s lips curled in a snarl, but Lily intervened, tugging on Charles’s arm.
“Please, take me home.” Lily could feel the press of their mutual hatred from all sides, suffocating her. If she couldn’t get Charles to leave, he might do something rash.
“Charles, please!” She jerked harder on his arm, until his focus was back to her.
Charles reluctantly gave in. They left the theater and the danger behind them, but as Lily glanced back, she still saw Hugo’s face.
When Hugo had recruited her, he had promised her a chance to someday retire in the country with Kat. Her service bought her silence. In his twisted mind, he saw himself as being generous toward her. Perhaps it was his sick way to forgive himself the violence he’d wrought upon her.
But now, seeing Hugo’s face as they left, she was no longer convinced he would keep that promise. His hatred of Lonsdale was all-consuming, and in the end she knew he did not care who burned alongside him. And Hugo always took care of loose ends. So when Hugo was finished with Charles, wasn’t that what she and Kat would be to him?
I must tell Charles everything. If he knows and doesn’t despise me, then I may yet at least save my child.
They entered a coach, but Charles still hadn’t said a word. “Charles?”
He didn’t look at her; his mind was miles away. “I’m sorry, Lily. You must think my outburst earlier to be highly inappropriate. This night has turned out most wretched. I must see you home at once, and I fear then I must go.”
“Charles, wait. Please, listen to me first.”
He continued, still lost in his own black mood. “That man, Sir Hugo, he’s not a good man. You do not know what he has done to me, to my friends… He’s…”
“Evil. I know.”
Charles stared at her. “What do you mean? Has Emily spoken of him?”
Lily reached across the coach and covered one of his hands that rested on his knee.
“Charles, please. I must make a confession.”
“Darling, there’s nothing to—”
“Yes, there is. You will likely cast me out of this coach once I tell you, but before you do, know this. Everything that we shared, all of it, has been real to me. Please do not forget that.”
Charles leaned forward, studying her in the dim light. “Lily, love, you’re starting to frighten me.”
“Charles.” Her tongue felt thick. The words weighed heavily upon her. “I’m not who you think I am.”
He didn’t speak, but his eyes narrowed. She pressed on.
“I’m not a widow. I’m not Mrs. Wycliff.”
“You’re not Emily’s cousin?”
“Emily was helping me find a husband. My real name is Lily. Lily…Linley.” She waited, holding her breath.
“Linley?” He whispered the name. “You’re not related to Tom Linley in any way…”
“Charles,” she almost groaned. “I am Tom.”
He stared at her blankly. “What?”
“Tom isn’t real.”
“But…” He trailed off, and his gray eyes widened in complete bafflement.
“I am Tom, but I’ve never been Tom. Lily is who I truly am.” She dropped her affected feminine voice to better demonstrate how she’d played the part of a young man. It was perhaps the first time Charles had ever heard her true voice, neither that of Tom the valet nor the mysterious Mrs. Wycliff.
He scanned her again, this time in open concern. “Tom?”
“Tom was simply a disguise.” She drew in a deep breath, steeling herself for what had to come next. What he was already figuring out, no matter how much he tried not to.
“This whole time you’ve been…” Charles raked a hand through his hair.
“Charles, please, you must listen to me.”
“Lily, please don’t tell me you’ve been… Not him.”
“Yes. I’m working for Hugo.” She wanted to cry as the words escaped her.
His face turned ghostly white. “No… No…”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She reached out, but he stared at her hand like she held a poisonous viper, so she dropped her hand.
“This is a dream…a nightmare,” he stammered. “Why…why can’t I wake up?” He bent forward again and covered his face with his hands.
Lily bit her lip, pain cutting deep inside her. “Charles, listen to me. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt you. From the beginning, I cared about you.”
Charles jerked away from her, a flicker of anger in his eyes. “How dare you say such a thing? You confess to working for a man who wishes me dead and yet speak of caring for me? While you stood by and did nothing as he attacked my friends and their families time and again?”
“You do not understand. He will take my daughter from me if I don’t do as he says.”
The anger in Charles’s eyes softened a little. “Katherine? Why would Hugo care about a babe? He has assassins ready to be called in. Spies in every nation. What use to him is a woman and her child?”
Lily closed her eyes. “Because the child is his. Hugo is Katherine’s father.”
Charles let out a bitter, cold laugh. “Of course he is. And now he’s using his former lover to bait me so he can take away the last of my joy. Is that it?” His tone was so cold that Lily expected the inside of the coach to frost over.
“We were never lovers!” She spat the words out with such violence that he recoiled. It took her a second to calm before she could continue. “I was a maid in his house, and he…he took me.” She couldn’t bring herself to elaborate. The harsh winter of his gray eyes melted a fraction. Turning her face away, she wiped at the angry tears that trailed down her cheeks.
Charles’s voice softened. “He forced himself upon you?”
She nodded. “I ran from him. I begged on the streets to survive until I could find work. Many months later he found me…and my baby. He can take her away anytime he wishes, Charles. He can claim Katherine and take her away, because she’s his.”
Charles frowned. “And so he forced you into his sick and twisted game? Why?”
Lily swallowed. “He saw value in me. My height and build and how I faced crisis told him I could be useful in his service. And so he trained me to fight, to hide my appearance, to find all that is secret. And because of Katherine, I could not refuse. For nearly three years, I have not been able to refuse. And I have done terrible things, both to those who deserved it and those who deserved better. But when I met you, I…” She swallowed again. “You are a wonderful man. A loving kind man with a noble heart, and I died inside each day seeing the torments Hugo put you through.”
“And yet you said nothing,” Charles said. “Why speak now? What changed your mind?”
Lily looked to the carriage floor. “After you confronted Hugo, I knew I would ne
ver be free of him, no matter what happened. I realized I was helping him destroy a good man, selling my soul to the devil himself, without even being given my daughter’s safety in exchange. I know you no longer feel anything for me, but please, help me protect my daughter. I beg you. She is the only thing I have left in this world. I cannot lose her.”
Though she had killed whatever feelings he’d once had for her, she prayed that his noble spirit would still be in control, that he’d help her save her child in exchange for what she could tell him about Hugo’s plans.
Charles was quiet a long moment. Then he opened the coach window and called for the driver to change course.
Fear spiked inside her. “Where we going?”
“To someone Ashton trusts. We will need absolute secrecy if we are to have a war council.”
20
Charles couldn’t look at Lily after he helped her out of the coach, so he turned his focus on their destination. They faced a lovely townhouse with dead ivy crawling up the walls. He rapped the knocker, and a tall, muscular middle-aged butler met them at the door.
“Lord Lonsdale to see Lord Darlington.”
“Is there a message to take to Lord Darlington?” the butler asked.
“Tell him, Cam.”
They were allowed inside and waited in the entryway while the butler went upstairs. Charles kept himself at attention, still trying not to look at Lily. A few minutes later, the butler returned.
“I’m to show you to the library. His lordship will be down as soon as he is dressed. He also told me to deliver these.” He held a handful of letters, addressed to all of the League members.
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“I’ll have my quickest lads deliver them at once.”
Charles and Lily were shown into the library. Charles found himself torn between wanting to speak to her and wanting to be as far away as possible.
“Charles,” Lily whispered and glanced his way. She looked somehow more beautiful. “Please, say something. Anything.”
God help me, I think I still love her, the woman who would bring about my destruction.
“Was any of it real?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
She wiped a tear and sniffed. “Every minute.”
“I asked you to marry me.” He still didn’t believe her, even though he wanted to. She’d admitted to her deception, so what did any of it truly mean now?
“And I wanted to. I still do, but I know that’s impossible.” She turned away, looking out the window at the frosted garden outside, lit by moonlight. “Still, I cannot regret telling you the truth. As painful as this is, despite everything I have lost in telling you, it has also lifted a great weight off me.”
He thought of the long carriage ride to this house, how she’d spent the ride curled up the corner, taking up so little space, as though she thought she didn’t deserve it. The misery in her eyes had cut him to the core. He was hurt, it was true. He had been compromised and betrayed. But he also had to try to see the world through her eyes. It was not as if she had ended up here by choice.
Hugo had taken her, hurt her, forced a child on her, and then threatened to take that child away. She had never had a choice in any of this, not from the moment Hugo had had his way with her. It was unfair to hold her accountable for his actions. She had made a choice to confess all to him. Wouldn’t that include how she truly felt?
His hands curled into fists as he fought off conflicting emotions.
Charles moved toward her. Before he could think twice, he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t speak. He jerked her to him, slamming his mouth down over hers.
Part of him wanted to punish her for her betrayal, show her how furious he was, but an animal hunger took over and all he now wanted was her. Lily in his arms, in his bed, beneath him, with him, part of him. Life was a cruel mistress who showed him no mercy.
“Charles.” Lily gasped his name.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” He moved their bodies back so they were pressed flush against the nearest bookshelf. He fisted a hand in her hair and moved his lips down the smooth column of her throat, wanting to explore her more than ever.
“Please, don’t stop. Not ever,” Lily whimpered as he nipped her collarbone. Charles tore the ties to her cloak apart, and it fell to the floor at her feet. The swell of her perfect breasts made him hungry. She’d bound these beauties flat for an entire year? It was a crime against nature, one that he would make her pay for by spending hours exploring them with his mouth and hands.
“I should hate you,” he said as his lips returned to hers in another violent kiss. Their mouths broke apart, and she gazed at him with those blue eyes of hers that were infinitely bewitching.
“You have every right to hate me,” she replied. Tears coated her lashes now as she blinked rapidly.
“I hate how weak you make me feel,” he said, and each word tasted bitter on his lips. “I hate everything Hugo has made you do. But I don’t hate you.”
Lily curled her fingers into the lapels of his coat and leaned into him. “There were so many nights I wanted to crawl into your bed and lie against you. You made me feel safe. I am trusting you now, tonight, to protect not only me but my child. Please, Charles, I know my betrayal is unforgivable, but Katherine is innocent in all this.”
The anger that had mingled with his lust faded, leaving only a softer, deeper desire that frightened him. He wrapped his arms around Lily.
“I will protect you both.”
They were quiet a moment, simply holding each other in quiet desperation. The library door opened, and a blond-haired man entered. He wore slightly shabby clothes, but Charles knew they’d been fine once. Darlington had fallen on hard times of late.
“Lord Darlington.” Charles greeted the viscount with a nod. “Thank you for allowing us to impose upon you.”
Darlington flashed them a rakish grin as he looked at Lily. “Of course. No trouble. I imagine your friends will be arriving shortly. Tea is on the way, such as it is.” Darlington chuckled. Charles didn’t miss the rumpled clothes and mussed hair. He’d obviously come from sleeping, and Charles and Lily had interrupted him.
“Lord Darlington, I’d like to introduce you to Lily, Lily Linley.” He nodded at his woman.
Darlington came over and kissed her hand. “Enchantée.”
Lilly blushed and smiled. Charles tried to stop himself from feeling jealous. Darlington was a rogue with a wicked reputation almost on par with his own.
“Linley, you say? The rumors said you were head over heels for a widow named Wycliff,” Darlington observed.
“Yes, quite head over heels, considering she’s the same woman,” Charles murmured and glanced toward Lily. She paled, and he wondered what she was thinking.
Darlington’s gaze drifted between them a moment. “Well, make yourselves comfortable. My butler will show the others in when they arrive.”
“Thank you.” Charles waited until Darlington was gone before he took Lily into his arms again. “You must tell me everything. The others too. Can you do that?”
Lily nodded. “I’m afraid it will only make you angry…to know everything.”
“Just answer me this.” Charles steeled himself for the answer he suspected she would give them. “Did Hugo send you to me as Lily? Did he want me to fall for you? Was this all planned in advance, even our encounter in the tunnels?”
She paused, and her hesitation drove a dagger into his heart.
“You did not rescue me at Lewis Street. I was there on a separate mission for Hugo. He sometimes calls upon me on my days off as Tom. But when Hugo learned that you had encountered me as Lily and that you were intrigued by me…”
Charles frowned. “He knew he could use you against me.”
“His original idea was for me to pose as his cousin, hoping you’d try to use me to learn information about him. But when Emily came to me with her own plan, Hugo decided to embrace it instead.
He knew you would trust Emily far more than anyone else.”
Charles sighed, an unbearable weight settling on his chest. “He’s not wrong. I would trust Emily with anything,”
“But I never meant for you to meet me in the Lewis Street tunnels that night,” she quickly added. “Not as myself.”
The misery he had tried to keep at bay broke through. “Hugo has always known how to hurt me, to make me bleed.” He moved on shaky legs to a chair and collapsed into it. Lily was suddenly at his feet, resting her cheek against his knee as she clung to his legs.
“Again, I know you can’t believe me or even trust me.” Her voice was so broken that it nearly killed him. “But I do love you. I never hid that fact. I never acted beyond what I felt. If anything, I held myself back as much as I could.”
I can forgive you, but how can I trust you?
He reached out to touch her hair, to ground himself by touching those golden strands. But before he could, Lily was up and walking back to the window.
He would see to Lily and Kat’s safety, that much he knew. They were as much victims in this tragedy as anyone, and he would not let Hugo harm a hair on her or Katherine’s head. But beyond that? He knew he would spend the rest of his life missing her once she and her daughter were able to leave London safely. He would never feel like this with any other woman again, not ever.
He stared at the toes of his boots and she watched the garden, both of them ignoring the silence that had grown into a thickening fog between them.
Ashton was the first to arrive. He strode into the library and nodded to Charles.
“Glad to see my rendezvous plan was executed properly—” He froze when he saw Lily. “However,” he began again, “normally one does not invite one’s lover to a war council, no matter how attractive she is.”
“Believe me, Ash, she is more a part of this than you realize.”
Ashton folded his arms over his chest. “I assume you’ll explain?”
“I will, once the others are here,” Charles promised.
“Very well.”
Soon Godric and Lucien arrived, and right on their heels were Jonathan and Cedric. None of the League were smiling, but that was understandable. This was a summoning, a war council that Ashton had arranged long ago. They were all to meet at Lord Darlington’s should they receive a message from Darlington with the word Cam in it—the river they’d rescued Charles from all those years ago. Anyone watching their letters or their communications would likely not see the significance of a letter from Darlington because he was outside of their immediate circle.
