He shrugged, starting to feel a little nervous. “I don’t get into serious relationships.”
“What?” she uttered softly in surprise. “Don’t you want to get married someday?”
“Yes,” he nodded, taking a deep breath. “Eventually.” He wasn’t sure he really wanted to talk to her about marriage. She was the only one he wanted to marry, but he wasn’t ready to tell her that yet. He was still too convinced she would freak out and run off on him if he told her how he felt about her, and right now his main concern was her safety.
She huffed, raising an eyebrow in question. “Well, isn’t that going to be kind of hard if you don’t date seriously?”
“When I find the right person, I won’t have to be serious. It’ll just happen without any work.” It already has. I just can’t tell you that.
She nodded her head before asking, “So, you weren’t serious with Ashley?”
“No,” he hissed with a shiver. “That woman is crazy.”
“But are you sure it wasn’t going to turn serious?” she pressed.
“I had been dating her for three months. She was starting to get annoying. She was trying to force me to get serious. Ugh,” he said, giving another little shiver to indicate his disgust. “Like I said, I was getting ready to break up with her. I didn’t just make that up to get rid of her.”
“Why would she do that if you told her you don’t get serious?”
“Some women think they can take it, but then they can’t,” he shrugged. “Of course, with her, I think it’s more that she’s a gold digger and she thought going in she could change my mind. That woman would sell her body to terrorists if she thought she could get a couple of million out of the deal.”
She gave him a hard look before asking, “What do you mean by some women can’t take it?”
“Don’t think bad of me, but I’m not as innocent as you are?”
She popped an eyebrow up in question, asking, “Is that a nice way of telling me, you’re not a virgin?”
“That’s the short of it.”
She sighed, shaking her head. “Honestly, I had that figured out a long time ago. What’s the long of it?”
He crammed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on the heels of his boots, giving her a look of concern before finally answering. “I tell anyone I’m going to be dating, that I’m only in it for one thing,” he said in a near whisper.
She took a small step back to make it easier to look him in the eyes. “That’s kind of harsh.”
“I’m honest from the start. They know what they’re getting into. If they tell themselves they can change me, that’s their problem.”
“Okay, I see,” she said, her tone coming off frostier than she was wanting. She just wasn’t able to hide her jealousy and anger.
“What? It’s not like I took anyone’s innocence. All the women I’ve been with were just as sexually active as I am,” he said, feeling for the first time in his life, guilty for the way he conducted his sex life.
“Whatever, Zane. Let’s just get what we need and get out of here,” she said, turning and walking off.
“Amanda,” Zane said, uncomfortable with the need to defend himself.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“I don’t want you to be upset with me. Please, talk to me,” he said, nearly begging.
“Well, you’re too late,” she grumbled. “And I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Zane shook his head and followed behind her. He decided the best thing to do, was give her some time. He realized it probably had to be a lot to take in. He knew she had to have realized he wasn’t a monk, but until now, she’d probably had no idea how sexually active he really was. Well, had been. With her living with him, it had been well over a month since the last time he had been with Ashley.
******
Zane stepped up behind Amanda, who was standing at the counter cutting vegetables, and wrapped his arms around her waist, forcing her to put the knife down. “You’re being really quiet. Are you still mad at me?”
He didn’t hear his brother walk in behind him. Or see the look on his face when he heard what he had said. Zane normally wasn’t one to worry about someone being angry at him. He had always adopted their grandma Smith’s philosophy, that a person had the same pants to get glad in, that they had to get mad in. Of course, this was Amanda.
Phillip smirked and stepped back out of the kitchen without alerting his brother to his presence. He figured whatever she was upset about, they didn’t need him listening in on their private conversation. He was concerned, not nosy.
Amanda shook her head a little bit. She had decided to let it go. She had dated plenty of men with experience. She knew the only reason she was angry, was because she was jealous. She had already known he wasn’t as innocent as she was, it just stung having him confirm it.
“Will you, please, talk to me?” he asked, for the second time that night pleading with her.
“Look, I’m not mad. Can we talk about it later?” She might not be angry anymore, but she still wasn’t ready to deal with it. She needed more time to process all of it.
“Okay,” he said, stepping back from her. “If that’s the best I can get right now. Do you and Mom need any help?”
“No, she went to get a couple of your younger brothers to help,” she answered in time to watch both Hunter and Alex walk in through the swinging doors with their mom behind them.
“Zane, your dad wants to talk to you,” Jamie said the second she saw him. “He’s in the library.”
“Library? Is this like one of those times when I was growing up? Am I in trouble?” he asked, giving her a mischievous grin.
“Well, I don’t think he intends to take a belt to you, if that’s what you’re asking,” she grinned back. “No, I think he just wants a thorough update and figured it would be best done in private.”
“Okay, but there’s not a whole lot to tell,” he shrugged, walking back out the swinging doors.
Jamie, Amanda and the boys quickly got into preparing dinner, and had everything well under way when they heard a knock at the front door. Amanda was standing at the stove, stirring gravy when she heard someone say, “Hey, Jake. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company? As if I didn’t know.”
“Yes, I want to see your sister. I haven’t seen her in almost a week. So, leave me alone.” Then after a second thought he said, “I was also wondering how Amanda was doing with this Austin thing. Has Zane realized he’s in love with her yet?” All she could think was, God, I hope Zane didn’t hear him say that.
“Nope, I think he’s fighting it subconsciously,” the other speaker said. “You know he’s worse than Jenny about protecting his heart, and you saw how hard Mark had to work. We may have to all hold him down and let Amanda beat it into him. Or kiss it into him. That would probably work better. It would certainly be more likely to be her style. She’s really not the brawler type.”
“Yeah, she’s a gentle soul,” Jake agreed. “Austin’s probably very fortunate Adrian is deployed at the moment.”
“I don’t know how fortunate he’s going to prove to be if he doesn’t leave Amanda alone,” the other speaker added. “I’m afraid that brother of mine is going to end up beating the crap out of him if he keeps it up.”
She couldn’t believe her ears. She could understand how Jake might make the mistake of thinking Zane was in love with her. But if there was only one sibling that knew Zane well enough to know for sure, it would be Phillip. And that was definitely Phillip she could hear talking to Jake.
“Amanda, you need to keep stirring the gravy.” Jamie had heard Jake and Phillip talking as well and was wondering if Amanda was going to say anything.
Jamie’s voice broke into her thoughts and she looked down at the iron skillet in front of her. “Oh, sorry.”
“Honey, are you okay?”
“Yes, I was just thinking.”
Jamie knew exactly what she was thinking abo
ut. “They seem like pretty deep thoughts for cooking.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, dropping her eyes to the skillet in front of her. “Can I ask you something?”
All Jamie could think was, here we go. “Yes, of course.”
Amanda turned the burner off and stood still stirring the gravy, albeit absentmindedly. She took a deep breath and turned and looked at Jamie, biting her lower lip. “I’m not sure I should ask, but I believe you’re the one person that would be able to tell me for sure.”
“Okay. Ask me, and if I don’t think you should ask, I won’t answer,” Jamie said, trying to buy herself some time to decide if she should answer or not.
“Okay, I can live with that. I hope.” She took another deep breath, and looked Jamie in the eyes, trying not to blush but not truly succeeding. “Is Zane in love with me?”
Jamie took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. She still wasn’t sure if she should answer, but she really felt like Amanda needed to know. When she looked back at her, she could tell she was about to cry. She had come to her own conclusions, and they were obviously the wrong ones.
“I’m going to answer you, but you’re still going to have to let him come to it on his own. I don’t know why he is fighting it so hard, but yes, he is. It’s the reason he conducts his love life the way he does,” Jamie said, making quotation marks in the air. “His heart already belongs to you. He just hasn’t let himself see it yet. He’s protective of the women in this family. You know that. But do you realize, he’s ten times worse where you are concerned. If he doesn’t marry you soon, I’m afraid he may very well commit murder one of these days.”
She nodded her head, feeling a little faint from the rush of relief. “I promise you, when I come out of this Austin mess, there won’t be anyone else. I had already come to that decision before, when I was living with Mom and Dad. I’m tired of trying to find a substitute when he’s really the only one I’ve ever wanted. All I’ve ever needed was for him to love me back.”
Jamie nodded her head and gave her a comforting pat on the arm. “Well, let’s pray he doesn’t end up killing Austin before this is over.”
Zane must have just come up the hall toward the front room, because all the sudden she heard him holler, “Hey, Teresa, Jake’s here.”
“Oops, I guess we’ll have to change our topic of conversation,” Jamie said with a grin. “One last thing, you’re going to have to be really sneaky, but you can get him to come around, if you have the patience to do it. You’re going to have to use gentle persuasion. Don’t let him know what you’re up to.”
She blushed, giving her a hesitant response. “I think I get your meaning.”
“I’m sure you do,” Jamie nodded with a grin. “And we can talk more about it later.”
“Talk more about what later?” Zane asked, walking through the swinging doors.
His mom laughed and wagged her finger at him. “No-no. That’s between Amanda and myself.”
He snorted, raising an eyebrow. “Then why does she look embarrassed.”
“Just because she looks embarrassed, doesn’t mean it’s anything you need to worry about.”
“I’ll get it out of her.”
“Zane, leave her alone,” she reprimanded him, slapping him on the arm. “Help get everything moved to the table. Start with helping her get that gravy poured in a couple of gravy boats.”
Less than five minutes later, everyone was seated and waiting for Carl to finish praying over everything. The second amen passed his lips the noise level in the room rose to almost ear piercing as everyone started passing platters and bowls around the table. It took a little while, but once all the food had been passed around and everyone started digging in, things got settled down enough for everybody to start talking and joking around. In an unusual turn of events, Zane was on the receiving end of all the jibes. Being one of the few who could really get away with it, it was Phillip handing them out.
“So, Amanda, what’s it like living with Zane?” Phillip smirked, giving his younger brother a knowing grin. “Is he making you crazy yet?”
“No. He’s actually easy to live with. Why would you think he would be making me crazy?” she answered with a shake of her head before taking a bite of her mashed potatoes and gravy.
“He made all of us crazy. Matter-of-fact, he still does.” Phillip grinned at her and turned to look at Zane. “Just be careful you don’t let him trap you in a corner.”
She blushed a little, but still managed to ask, “What’s that supposed to mean?” She knew what he was referring to, but she wasn’t going to let on.
“Oh, nothing,” he chuckled. “Just be careful.” He knew Zane had to be getting pretty wound up by now.
Zane gave Phillip a confused and irritated look, doing his best not to let on that he knew what his oldest brother was talking about. “Phillip, what are you trying to get at?”
“Oh, I’m sure one of these days, real soon, you’ll figure it out.”
That caused Zane’s scowl to darken. He was afraid if Phillip kept it up with his hint dropping, Amanda was going to catch on to way more than he was ready for her to know. He needed to be able to protect her from Austin. That was going to be really hard to do if she was running from him, because she realized he was in love with her. “I thought Mindi was the one who used riddles all the time. Have you been taking lessons? You normally say everything straight out.”
“I know,” the other man shrugged. “But I can’t say this straight out. It could mess everything up.”
Zane looked across the table at his brother with a look that would have sent most people running for cover. Phillip grinned and took a bite of his buttered biscuit. When he looked down at Amanda, she looked a little nervous. He was still trying to act like he didn’t know what Phillip was getting at, but he could tell Amanda had figured it out, and he was hoping it didn’t mess everything up.
“What is he talking about?” he asked, pointing over at Phillip. She shook her head at him, unable to find the voice to deny she knew anything. “Don’t try to tell me you don’t know what’s going on in his head. I don’t know how you got it when I obviously can’t, but you did.”
“You’re not getting it, because you don’t want to get it yet,” Phillip said, once again ribbing Zane.
“Now, that’s just crazy. Why wouldn’t I want to understand what you’re trying to say to me?” he asked, giving Phillip a look of irritation, doing his best not to panic.
“Because, you’re pigheaded and a big chicken.”
“I am not a big chicken. Now, the pigheaded part, yeah,” he nodded. “I can see that one. But chicken. Come on. Where’s that coming from?”
Phillip chuckled, shaking his head. “You and Jenny are cut from the same mold.”
All the sudden Jenny sounded like she was choking. Apparently, it had just hit her what Phillip was talking about. Mark laughed and patted her on the back.
“What are you talking about now? Everybody knows Jenny and I are a lot alike. This is not news,” Zane said, still pretending to not be picking up on what his brother was trying to tell him.
Phillip looked over at Jake. “Well, Jake, you think we’re going to have to hold him down and beat it into him after all?”
Jake laughed, looking at Zane. “It’s definitely looking like a really good possibility.”
“Beat what into me?”
“You’re really determined not to admit it to yourself, aren’t you? Come on, Zane. You’re not that dense.”
“Stop it, Phillip, please. That’s enough.” When Phillip looked over at Amanda, she looked like she was about to cry, so he relented.
“Okay,” he nodded in agreement. The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry. Besides the fact, his brother would probably try to beat the crap out of him if he did. He had never been able to handle the sight of her tears. Not even when they were all still young children. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. But I can tell by the look on his face, he was starting to get it
. Even if he’s not ready to admit it.”
******
Most everyone else had either gone home or off to bed. Zane and Amanda were in the game room watching an old black and white movie she had seen several times. So, she couldn’t help it when her mind started to wonder.
She was thinking about what he had told her about his sex life. She was starting to think maybe his having so much experience wasn’t such a bad thing, after all. It would be sure to make her first time a whole lot better. She knew she could trust Jamie and Phillip to know for sure what they were talking about when they said he was in love with her. So maybe she should try her hand at seducing him. Maybe then he would realize it. Of course, she knew she was planning to play with fire, as they would say, but she couldn’t help the salacious smile that slowly spread across her face.
“What are you grinning about?” Zane asked, giving her a curious look.
“I’m not sure I should tell you,” she said, blushing a little bit.
He gave her a hard look, feeling suspicious. “Why not?”
She dipped her head, the blush spreading farther. “I’m not sure you would approve of the track my minds taking at the moment.”
“Amanda, what are you thinking about?” he asked, using his cop voice.
“Well, it’s related to what we were talking about earlier,” she answered hesitantly. “Well, what I wouldn’t talk to you about.”
He wasn’t really paying attention to her tone, and asked, “Are you still mad?”
“No, I’m over that.”
“Okay,” he said, finally catching on to her mood a little bit. “Why do I get the feeling I’m still in trouble somehow?”
“Nothing,” she said, grinning at him.
“Amanda, don’t look at me like that,” he grumbled, jumping up from the sofa. “You fall into the innocent category.”
“And?” she asked, giving him a look of total innocence, causing him to groan loudly. He knew he was going to be in deep trouble soon if he wasn’t careful. Really careful.
Austin's Revenge (The Townsends Book 4) Page 10
