The next morning I woke long after Gregory had left for work. I slowly dragged myself up and put on a long blue dress. A maid helped me with my hair and I proceeded downstairs. David looked at me in curiosity and I know it’s because the right half of my face was black and blue. I was just finishing my breakfast when Crystal arrived. I waved the servants out of the room and forced my mouth to make a painful smile.
“Sit down, sis. Did you see Adam last night?’ I asked quietly.
Crystal sat down. “Aye. Here’s a message,” she answered taking out a piece of paper. She shrugged. “I didn’t read it. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking when he read your message either.”
I took the note with trembling hands and unfolded it, remembering that it had been written yesterday. It read simply: tomorrow at fountain. After dark. I felt my face hurt more as my smile widened automatically.
“Tonight. At the fountain after dark. I’ll tell Gregory that I’m meeting you there.” I said happily.
Crystal looked at me and then nodded. “I’ll meet you there so no one has reason to be suspicious.”
I nodded. I stood and handed the paper back to her. “I cannot be caught with this. Gregory would know that it is not your handwriting.”
“That’s because I barely know how.” Crystal answered shaking her head. “You are lucky, Julia. You at least know how to write well.”
I shook my head. “Only because I demanded to join Peter’s lessons. You were never around.”
“They never wanted me around,” Crystal countered. “Take care, Julia. I’ll see you at sunset or so.” I nodded and my sister left. I turned and bought my dishes to the kitchen doorway.
Natalie looked up. “Oh, Juliana. You didn’t have to bring those in! I would have gotten them.”
I shook my head. “It is all right, Natalie. I can bring them over. I need something to do.”
Natalie shook her head in amusement, sending brown curls flying. “Go have fun.”
I left the dining room. David stood in the hallway and smiled at me. It wasn’t a nice smile. “Julia, what are you up to?”
“I am going to read a book, do some knitting, and I need to meet my sister later.” I answered walking into the parlor. I settled into a chair and picked up the Bible. I opened it and began to read. David followed me in.
“You’re very educated, Juliana.” He remarked. “For a woman.”
I sighed irritated. “Aye, David. Now please leave me in peace,” I growled. I was tired of having to explain myself constantly to him.
David flinched at my tone and left the room. I spent the afternoon reading and sewing some clothes. I worked mechanically, lost in thought. I was daydreaming about what might happen tonight. The hours seemed to fly by.
By early evening, Gregory had returned home. He walked into the parlor and looked at me. “You’re happy about something,” he commented quietly.
I looked up, startled, and nearly pricked myself with the needle. “Goodness, don’t do that, Gregory!” I snapped, carefully lying my project down.
Gregory smiled lazily. “Sorry, Julia. So what are you so happy about?”
I stood up and shook my head at his lazy tone. “I’m meeting Crystal at the Fountain ... soon.” I answered him.
Gregory shook his head but smiled. “And do what?”
“Talk. Get some fresh air. Maybe go over and see Mother I guess. Crystal said she’s ill again,” I replied rattling off things we would probably do if we were truly meeting. “How am I supposed to know?” I finished spinning around.
Gregory reached out and pulled me to him. “Julia, slow down. If you don’t settle down, you are going to get yourself killed.”
I pulled away and smiled wickedly. “I do not think so,” I answered, running up the stairs. Behind me I could hear Gregory muttering in disbelief.
A little later I came back downstairs looking as neat and well dressed as I could manage without raising suspicion. Gregory smiled and handed me my black cloak. “You look wonderful, darling. Have fun.” He looked towards the door where our coachman was standing. “John, take my wife to the fountain.”
I raised the hood of the cloak so it covered my hair and nodded. “I will.” I answered and left the house with John.
It was already mostly dark by the time I actually left for the fountain. We were getting closer to winter by the day. A full moon rose behind me, illuminating the path we needed to take. I stared out the carriage window, anxious to get to the meeting place.
I arrived at the fountain about ten minutes later. My sister was already sitting on one of the benches next to the fountain with two of her servants as I got out of the carriage. “I will have my sister take me home in about an hour, John. Thank you.” I turned in her direction and walked towards her. As soon as I thought I was close enough to her I called out “Hullo?” very softly. My carriage went back in the way it came.
Crystal waved in the pale light. She then turned and handed both of the servants something and they walked to a tavern down the street. Obviously, my little sister was paying them off. I almost laughed...who would ever think my timid sister would do something like this? Once I was only a few feet from her I saw another person step out of the shadows. I walked the last few feet over and faced them. I lowered my hood and let my hair flow freely down my back. It was a little past shoulder length. “Hello, Adam.”
Adam looked at me transfixed. “I’m surprised you wanted to see me. I wasn’t exactly nice to you earlier.” He smiled humorlessly.
I shook my head. “We were both angry, Adam. I am surprised you agreed to come, I was not nice to you either.”
“I had to come, at least to say sorry. After all, there’s no point in fighting. It doesn’t change anything.” He shrugged. “I still love you and you’re still married to him. So we’re better off spending this time together nicely, instead of fighting.”
I cocked my head to one side mischievously. “But fighting is so much more fun,” I protested.
Adam stared at me in silence, seemingly pondering my strange words. Yes, I am very well aware that I’m different than other women. After a second he walked closer and tilted my head into the pale light. “Julia, what happened to your face?” he asked in concern.
I instantly jerked my head back into the shadows. “I fell. It was a silly mistake, I did not light any candles,” I answered with a vague shrug.
Adam looked at me worriedly. “You should have that looked at. It’s still swollen. Badly. It’s almost like some force slammed you into the wall or something. Did you lose awareness?”
“Only for a few moments,” I answered, not meeting his eyes. I didn’t like lying to him but I was too ashamed to admit the truth. I wasn’t about to say to him that my husband had hit me because I had mentioned his name and I fell against the wall hard and was unconscious until evening.
Crystal spoken up in disbelief. “Only a few moments?! Julia, you were asleep for hours!” she exclaimed from the bench.
Adam’s eyes flickered with something I couldn’t identify. “Julia, do not lie to me. Please. If you fell, don’t worry about it. Things happen. But if you were really hurt I don’t want you to lie to me about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
I looked down at the ground and even Crystal remained silent. “I am sorry. I just do not want you to worry.”
Adam immediately softened. “I don’t mean to be harsh, Juliana. I just want you to be honest with me. If you’re hurt I want to know. Are you all right?”
I nodded. “Aye, I’m much better now.” I moved closer and took a hold of his hand. I smiled up at him but the moment was broken by Crystal.
“Julia, what is David doing here? Is he following you?” Crystal asked very softly.
Adam looked up at her and saw another figure across the square. He released my hand and quickly backed into the shadows. Even as I began to turn towards Crystal he was gone. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye. I sighed and began to walk towards my servant. C
rystal hurriedly got up and followed me. As she did so, her servants came up from where they had been standing, at the entrance to the tavern.
“Why are you following me?” I demanded angrily. Crystal stood a couple of feet behind me.
David looked at me with hurt innocent eyes. Yeah right. “I didn’t mean any harm, Juliana. Mister Gregory wanted me to go out and check to be sure you were all right. You have that injury and he wanted to know you were safe. Hello, Miss Crystal.”
I was furious. How dare Gregory send someone to spy on me! If this was the kind of relationship he had with me after three months of marriage I wanted out. I spoke through clenched teeth. “Well, you can tell Gregory that I’m returning to my parents’ house for the night. My mother is very ill.” And I want to talk to my father, I thought silently.
Crystal nodded. “Mother wants to see Juliana. If that’s all right with you?”
David looked caught off guard. “Aye. By all means go ahead. I’ll tell your husband, Juliana. I’m mighty sorry.” He started away.
I sighed and began to walk towards the house I had grown up in. Crystal fell in step beside me. Her servants flocked on either side of us. “That was a brilliant lie,” she commented.
I kept going, bitter disappointment entering my eyes. I knew Adam was gone and I didn’t know when, if ever, I would see him again. “Tis not exactly a lie. You say she is sick again. And I need to speak to Father about Gregory.”
Crystal nodded approval. “Good idea. He won’t want to see you hurt.” Oh, how very naïve we both were then....neither of us truly understood what marriage meant for women. If I had known then....maybe I would have done things differently.
I nodded and walked slowly to my old home. Crystal opened the door and we entered the house.
My father got up and turned to face us. “Juliana, what a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?”
“I need to talk to you,” I said quietly. Father nodded and beckoned me into the parlor. I laid my cloak on a chair. “What is the matter Juliana? What happened to your face?” he asked softly.
“My husband hit me,” I said matter of factly.
“Why? What did you do?”
“Because I went out shopping when he didn’t want me to leave the house. Other than that, no reason,” I said leaving out the part about Adam. I was surprised that Father had immediately assumed that I had been the one who did wrong. “He spies on me and hits me for no reason. I do not wish to be married to a man who does not treat me fairly.”
My father’s face colored angrily. “He is a good man, Juliana. If he has hit you then it’s because you deserved it.”
“No one deserves to be hit because they wanted to walk around town for the first time in months! No one. I want out of this marriage.”
Father wouldn’t meet my eyes. “You cannot. I have married you off to him so he owns you. You are his. This matter is closed, Juliana.”
“So you are saying it’s all right if he hits me?!” I yelled in angered surprise.
“A man may do to his property what he wishes.” Father answered.
I clenched my hands into fists. I suddenly had the desire to hit him. “Property? Is that all I ever was to you? I am not a piece of property, I am a human being! Look at me! My face! Don’t you see what he has done to me already?!” I screamed.
My father turned scarlet. Without speaking, he ran over and slapped me across the face. I stared at him, paralyzed with shock and fear as he began to scream at me again. “How dare you speak to me like that! No woman should act the way you do! You miserable little rebel! You just want to be with that wretched little poor boy! You probably hit yourself, you little sneak!” he screamed, suddenly throwing one of the chairs.
After a second my paralysis broke and I tried to dodge out of the way. I moved too slowly with my long dress and the chair hit me in the lower back. Severe pain raced through my back and shoulders. I struggled back to my feet, silently noticing my dress had ripped and not caring.
“Damn you! How dare you call me a liar!” I screamed throwing a vase back at him. It was now that I began to realize that everyone was against me and there was no hope in sight. I turned and ran out the door, down the stairs, and into the freedom of the night. Tears began to stream down my face but I forced myself to keep running, not caring if I tore up my dress more or not. I hated dresses anyway. I hated Gregory, my parents, Peter, and hated myself most of all. I figured that they must be right.
So I ran. I ran until the pain from my injuries and my exhaustion finally made me collapse on the side of a road. I had no idea where I was, I had lost my bearings soon after leaving the house. I hoped that someone would come along and just kill me. I was only fifteen, just a child. If I couldn’t escape this hellish life, I just wanted it to end. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, so, comforted by the openness of the night, the show of stars above me and the moon, I slept.
Chapter 3
I awoke to feel someone throw a blanket of some sort over me. I hadn’t realized until I felt the warmth of it how cold I actually was. I heard voices as someone lifted me into their arms.
“What is she doing here? Her clothes are all torn up, Adam. What on earth happened to her?”
“I don’t know. How the hell should I know? I found her early this morning.” This voice was harsh but familiar. However, I couldn’t wake myself enough to say anything. I was too tired and cold so all I did was cuddle deeper into the blanket and drift off into sleep again.
When I fully awoke much later, I discovered I was lying on the bed in the mansion that I shared with Gregory. I was covered with blankets and my husband was pacing alongside the bed. I forced my eyes to focus on the room better. I had just succeeded in focusing when Gregory stubbed his toe on the dresser. “Damnit!” he swore in barely contained anger.
I looked beyond him to see Adam sitting in a chair in the back of the room with his head in his hands. “Hello,” I croaked in a hoarse voice.
Both men looked up sharply. “You are awake,” Gregory said, stopping at my side. He reached out and touched my hand.
“No, you’re seeing things,” I answered dryly. I was awarded with a confused look from Gregory and the faintest smile from Adam.
Gregory’s face turned blank. I cringed away slightly. It was the look he got on his face before he either starts yelling or hitting me. In a way, I kind of hoped he would hit me in front of Adam. But, I soon realized, he was much too smart for that.
“What were you doing last night Juliana? He bought you home in the early morning hours,” he said pointing back at Adam with obvious distaste.
My heart ached as I realized how bad Adam had to have been treated while I slept. “I did not see Adam last night. I met with Crystal and went to see my sick mother. After we arrived my father and I had an argument about . . . what freedoms I should be allowed.” I finished after a second. I paused and then continued. I didn’t see a reason to lie about what my father did whether Adam was here or not. “He threw a few things at me and I fled. I fell asleep along some road.”
“You probably deserved it,” Gregory muttered softly.
“Did he hit you?” Adam asked levelly.
I nodded. “In the back,” I replied neutrally. Gregory stared at me, silently warning me to keep quiet about what he’s done. I knew he meant that if I said anything to Adam, he would make my life a living hell. Unfortunately, I listened to his warning as well, thus damning myself then. I just didn’t realize it.
“I found her and bought her home.” Adam offered in explanation. Gregory gave him a hard look. Adam spread his hands defensively. “I was on my way to work, Gregory. I found her lying alongside the main road between her parents’ house and the market. So I bundled her up and took her home to you. You should be relieved that I found Julia, and not some thief or murderer.”
I listened to their discussion in silent fascination. It was amazing how people can argue about you and forget you’re in the same room with them.
Gr
egory turned to look at him coldly. Adam met his gaze squarely and then looked at me. I guess he hadn’t forgotten I was there. Gregory also looked back at me. He sighed. “Thank you,” he said curtly.
Adam nodded and stood up. He looked at me for a long moment and I knew he was seeing my wild tangled hair, my bruised face, and finally my torn up dress. Now, wasn’t that dignified? I stared back at him in sudden desperation. I didn’t want him to leave. I was afraid of what my husband would do after he left. I forced myself to make acceptable words. “Thank you.”
Adam looked at me in concern. “You could have died out there, Juliana.”
I nodded. “I know.” I answered in a whisper. Adam’s gaze lingered on me for another minute and then he turned for the door.
“Take care. Have a nice day, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Adam waved goodbye over his shoulder and left.
After a minute Gregory turned back to me angrily. “You should have come home. Don’t you think it’s just a little convenient that common boy you had been in love with bought you home?” he demanded.
I looked at my husband tiredly. “Give it a rest, Gregory. I did not know he took me home. I didn’t see him last night.”
Gregory looked at me suspiciously as I struggled out of the covers and out of bed. I shakily stood on my feet. I glanced down and saw my dress was in blue tatters. I walked around until I found a mirror. I gazed into it and realized how bad I really looked. My hair had fallen into wild curls and there were dark circles under my eyes. I put down the mirror and turned towards my husband. “Can you leave the room for a minute? I would like to get dressed,” I said mildly.
A look of rage crossed his face. “We are not finished yet, Juliana! Damnit, he should have left you out there!” he screamed moving a step towards me.
I grabbed the mirror and flung it at him. “Don’t touch me!” I yelled, backing away. The mirror struck his arm and fell to the ground shattering.
Lost Soul Page 3
