Adam watched uncertainly as I turned away. After a second he spoke again. “Julia. Don’t. Wait. I –I don’t understand this –”
I turned but stayed close to the door. Sadness filled my heart as I watched him. I was all too familiar with the emotion. I turned away from him again.
“I am sorry Adam. I did not know what I was doing. I have always loved you but I guess that is not enough. I should have known you would never have accepted my choice to become one of the undead.”
“Why did you choose to become a vampire?” he asked, sounding surprised.
I grimaced but since my back was turned I knew he couldn’t see it. “I could not live with him anymore.” I didn’t offer any further explanations because I didn’t want his pity nor did I want to relive the horror yet again. “I did it for you. I was kind of hoping you would like to join me for eternity. But I guess you are happy where you are; mortal and with Ruth. It is all right. I will accept it,” I said and glanced back at him. He slowly lowered the crucifix. He ran his hand through his hair.
“Ah, Julia. I said I loved you. My feelings have not changed. This is just difficult to accept.” He sighed when I wouldn’t look at him. “I mean you are a vampire, Julia. A vampire damned to Hell,” Adam murmured hoarsely.
“I do not feel damned,” I retorted painfully. “I feel … liberated. But you do not want to even come near me.” I knew I was dangerously close to tears.
“Julia, I did not mean it like that.”
I heard him set the crucifix down and walk to me. I felt him put a hand on my shoulder. I stiffened for a minute but relaxed when I realized he didn’t mean any harm.
“I thought vampires are supposed to be as cold as death,” he mused, sounding surprised to find I was solid and warm.
I shrugged without facing him. “There is a lot you do not know about us.”
I enjoyed having him touch me – if only he wasn’t so scared to do it! I slowly turned to face him, to stare directly into his eyes. Adam looked nervous but met my gaze.
I looked at him without power or the desire to control – only so he could stare at me. It was really the first time in two years that we made eye contact. I could tell Adam was unsettled by my gaze. I knew he was thinking that my eyes looked the same, that I seemed to be the same person – except that I was strangely withdrawn and unsure of herself . . . and a vampire. Telepathy has its advantages.
Slowly, almost hypnotized – not by me; he rose his hand to touch my cheek. I saw he was startled when I flinched back out of pure instinct. Time still hadn’t diminished the reflex.
“It’s all right, Julia. I am not going to hurt you,” he whispered. I relaxed as he gently stroked my cheek and I closed my eyes. My lips parted slightly – but it wasn’t in physical hunger – I wasn’t hungry for blood. I was starved for love. For love. Adam touched my hand and pulled me closer. I didn’t resist and his lips found mine. His lips were firm, with just the slightest pressure. His hands hesitantly moved around my waist, as if he was afraid of spooking me.
It felt odd to be touched so gently. Automatically, I put my left hand against his shoulder, my right arm across his back. I pressed against him, wanting to get closer yet. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and nicked one of my fangs. The sharp sweet taste of blood filled my mouth and I moaned, licking instantly. Adam abruptly let go and stepped back.
My eyes reopened and I felt the most happiness I had felt in years. “Well?” I asked breathlessly. “Do you join me or is this a goodbye kiss?”
Adam looked at me in disbelief. “You just . . . bit me! How can I join you when you are a vampire! This is not going to work, Julia!”
I stared at him in surprise and pain. “Adam, I do not understand! Why don’t you want to be with me?” I asked, bewildered.
He was rejecting me? After it took me this long to get the courage to show myself to him, he’s just going to renounce me? Maybe I didn’t mean as much to him as he said I did. Could he be – no, not in love with Ruth, can he?
“You’ve turned into a monster!” Adam shouted back. He gingerly touched the tip of his tongue with his finger and winced.
I stared at him, feeling as if I had been slapped. “Well, you just shared a kiss with a bloody monster!” I screamed back, fighting tears. I was not going to cry in front of him. I was not going to show him how much his rejection hurt me. “Fine then,” I continued angrily. “I’ll leave right now so I will not contaminate your perfect mortal life any more than I have already. I was doing all right without you, I can still be happy without you.”
“You threw away your life to be Damned,” he said, sounding as if he was in mourning.
“Curse it, Adam! I’m still the same person you knew! Stop talking to me like I’m dead!” I screamed. “We are not evil!”
Adam looked away.
I ran my hand through my hair. “I need to leave. Goodbye, Adam. You won’t see me again, so do not worry,” I said sadly. “I hope Ruth makes you happy.”
I turned and walked out of the room. As soon as I was in the hall, I lifted my eyes towards the ceiling as my eyes swam in tears. I had found him and lost him. There was nothing left to do but to go back down and tell Samuel and Matthew. I started down the steps.
I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me. I was walking as slowly as I could with my head down. I was in no hurry to get back to the other two vampires, because when I got back down there I was going to hit Samuel for telling me Adam would accept me. Because he was obviously wrong, Adam hates what I’ve become.
“Julia.”
The sound of my name made me turn in mid–stride. I nearly fell down the staircase. I stared at Adam, standing at the top of the staircase. I was about halfway down it now. “What do you want, Adam?” I asked in a tired voice. “You have my word I won’t come after you or your wife–to–be. Please, just let me go.”
I figured the reason he followed me was to “put me out of my misery,” so to speak. “You don’t need to kill me, Adam. I really am happy where I am. With what I am.”
“I’m surprised you did not kill me back there,” he said quietly.
I frowned at him. “I do not kill. Not unless there is a reason.”
“There was a reason to kill me back there. I don’t understand why you did not.”
“Because, as impossible as it seems to you, Adam, I love you. I do not kill someone I love. I usually don’t kill at all.”
“Is it really bad? Being a vampire?” he asked cautiously.
“No. I like it.” I smiled. “It gives much more freedom. We can be together, Adam.”
Adam looked down at the floor. “I don’t know, Julia.”
“You told me when I was fourteen that you loved me. That you even wanted to marry me. Where has that feeling gone, Adam? Do you love Ruth? Is that it?”
“Nay. I do not love Ruth.”
“Then, why won’t you join me?” I cried out in hurt bewilderment. “Never mind, you already answered. You cannot love a ‘demon.’ Adam, go to sleep. I’m leaving now.”
Adam looked distressed. “Vampires aren’t evil?”
“Not all vampires. We have free will as well, Adam.”
“I cannot lose you again. Even if this damns my soul, I still can’t lose you again.”
I smiled in surprise. After a moment I followed Adam back into his room and walked over to the window. I pulled back the drapes quickly and leaned out. Matthew and Samuel were leaning against the house talking. “Samuel! Um ... could you please come up here?!”
Samuel and Matthew looked up and then entered the house. I let go of the drapes and turned to look at Adam. A second later Samuel and Matthew entered the room. Adam turned and studied them in silence.
I walked to my fellow vampires and touched Samuel’s hand. “Help me. How do I do this?” I asked. “And do you want me to change him here or go home first?”
“What is this, a group project? Don’t you know how to do this?” Adam asked, focusing on
Samuel and me.
I looked back at him. “Nay. I have not been a vampire for long, Adam,” I retorted testily. I turned back to Samuel. “Samuel?” I asked again. I saw he was staring at Adam, almost like he was seizing him up. I touched his hand again. “Samuel?!”
Samuel suddenly looked back down at me. “Not here, Sunshine. You will be weak when you are done so it’ll be best to do it at our place where it’ll be safer for you. And for him too. You deserve some happiness.”
I nodded, unable to speak for a moment. I knew he was referring to everything that had happened to me as a human. I turned for the door. “Come on, let’s go,” I said beginning to walk. Matthew turned and followed me. I looked back. “Adam? Samuel?”
Finally, Adam looked at me. “All right.”
When we arrived back at the house I led Adam into my room. Samuel followed me to the door. Adam sat down on the bed and stared at us. Samuel spoke quietly. “Julia, you start off the same way you usually feed.” He lowered his voice even more. “Unless you want him to be in pain,” he said so only I could hear. I frowned and then nodded.
“All right,’ I said looking back at Adam. I caught his eyes with my own. I hypnotized him the way I usually do to my meals and the way Samuel had done to me. I slowly walked over and passed my hand in front of his face. He continued staring straight ahead. “Now what?” I asked worriedly. I needed Samuel to coach me through everything. I had heard stories of vampires who had taken too much blood too fast and hadn’t been able to complete the change quick enough so the person had died. Since I had never made another vampire before, I was worried I might do the same thing.
“Feed. Slowly. Be careful to watch for signs of severe blood loss. Cold hands, rapid breathing, loss of full consciousness. I’ll warn you as well. Then you begin to feed him,” Samuel answered quietly.
I nodded and did as told. Adam jerked once. My hypnotic powers were nowhere near as powerful as Samuel’s was and Adam obviously was very strong–willed. Uncertainly, I began to withdraw. This had never happened to me before.
“It’s all right Julia. Go ahead. I got him,” Samuel said. Resignation had entered his voice. His tone confused me but I didn’t stop to dwell on it. I continued what I was doing. He spoke again. “I’ll be in the hall.”
I nodded and began to drink again, losing myself in the rich coppery taste. A little later I heard him say telepathically,
I complied somewhat reluctantly until I remembered it was Adam I was feeding from. I looked down at Adam, lying still on the bed. Fear coiled around my stomach.
I nodded and cut open the vein in my right wrist. I slowly dripped blood down Adam’s throat. I was startled when he suddenly latched upon my wrist and began to suck hungrily. I gasped from the sharpness of the pain as Adam held my wrist against his mouth.
I fell back onto the bed beside Adam, holding my torn arm and cursing. I hadn’t felt this much pain since Samuel rescued me. I watched for a moment in amazement as the wound began to heal and some of the pain faded. I then closed my eyes. Once the pain diminished I opened my eyes and looked at Adam. He was already asleep. “He’s sleeping. Is that good or bad?” I asked in a tight voice.
“It’s normal.”
“I did not sleep after you changed me,” I grated out in pain and confusion.
“No, you did not, Julia. But your situation was different. You had to reassure yourself that you were indeed safe. Adam, on the other hand, trusts you. He knows he‘s safe because you were the one doing the change. He knows you. You didn’t know any of us.”
“True,” I admitted. “I’m so tired now, Samuel.”
“Sleep Julia. Do not worry. I’ll stay with you until sunrise.” He took my hand and squeezed it gently.
“Thank you,” I said groggily and closed my eyes.
“No worries.” Samuel answered. I was reassured. Sleep overtook me in minutes.
***
I awoke slowly. I felt someone holding my hand. I wondered groggily if it was Samuel or someone else. I opened my eyes and saw Adam sitting beside me, holding my hand. I was pleasantly surprised. I took a moment to really look at him. His brown hair was ruffled and his dark brown eyes were looking at me in concern. He saw my eyes were open and smiled. “Hello, Juliana.”
“Adam. How long have you been awake?”
“Only a little while. Are you all right?”
“Aye. I’m fine. Just a little weak.” I answered and slowly sat up. I gently pulled back my hand.
Adam let me. “This is remarkable,” he whispered.
I smiled. “Aye. It is,” I answered and got to my feet. I walked across the room and began to brush my hair. I needed my distance – still. Trying to hide my sudden awkwardness, I asked, “So, did you sleep well?”
It had been so long since anyone had given me any sexual attention that I wasn’t sure how to act. That kiss the night before had been so gentle, I wasn’t used to that. It left me wondering if it was just an accident.
Adam smiled. “I did,” he replied and also got to his feet. Before I knew it, I had lowered the brush and was now watching him warily. “Julia, what’s the matter? You suddenly went white. Are you all right?!”
Embarrassed, I turned away. What had I expected? Him to run over and hit me?
“Aye. Yes, I’m fine.” I said setting down the brush. “This just seems strange. I have not seen you in so long ....” I quickly covered up my secrets again with a half–truth.
“Strange is definitely the way to put it.” Adam laughed shortly. “The last time I saw you, you were practically half dead.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Adam ....”
Adam continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Now you seem healthier than you did as ....” He wouldn’t say it.
“As a human?” I finished for him. Once I was sure I was back in control I turned to face him. I smiled.
Adam’s face was troubled. “Aye.”
“Adam,” I said softly, walking towards him. I touched his hand gently. “We are not evil. Please don’t look like that.” I let go of his hand and walked a few feet away.
I began to wonder if I had made a mistake. Even now, he was looking at me like I was a monster. Could it be I rushed him? That he really did not want to be a vampire – but he didn’t want to disappoint me?
“Julia, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to think –”
“Adam, are you angry at me?” I shifted nervously. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“I want to be with you. I just don’t know what to think about . . . vampires. I wish you hadn’t become one.”
I did not know what to say to those comments. “I wish you would stop looking at me as a vampire and start looking at me as Julia,” I muttered.
“Have you met everyone yet?” I asked, looking back at him. Adam shook his head. “Come on. Maybe you’ll understand better if you meet the others.” I sighed and walked to the door. Adam followed me without a word.
We entered the main room/ Samuel’s room. Mary Anne rose and walked to us. “Julia, are you all right?” she asked hugging me.
“Aye. I’m fine,” I said stepping away. I looked back at Adam. “Adam, this is Mary Anne. Mary Anne, Adam.”
Mary Anne nodded. She looked at Adam almost as critically as Samuel had – but not quite. “Hello Adam,” she finally said with a smile.
>
“Hello.” He looked past her towards the other six. Mary Anne followed his gaze.
“That’s Jeffrey and Robert. Christy is standing there, Sharon is the woman sitting on the bed, and the other two are Matthew and Samuel.”
“We’ve met,” Adam said, his tone dry.
Mary Anne didn’t seem to notice it. Perhaps she just chose not to. “Come join us,” she invited and turned to sit down again. Adam and I followed her and sat at the table with her, Matthew, and Samuel. I noticed that Samuel and Adam chose the seats furthest apart.
“Are you feeling better, Julia?” Samuel asked quietly.
“Aye. I just feel kind of weak. Thanks for helping me last night.”
Samuel nodded and looked at Adam. “So, you’ve decided to become a vampire to join Julia.”
“I love her.” Adam replied.
Samuel nodded slowly. “It has been about two years since you last saw her,” he pointed out quietly.
“What are you trying to say?” Adam asked defensively.
“Just that. I don’t want her hurt.”
His bluntness in addition to his comment stunned me. Yet, I also found his concern comforting. This was the first time in a long time someone cared about me this much. It touched me deeply. I looked up at him, smiled, and dropped my gaze without a word.
“I’m not going to hurt her … Samuel.” Adam answered tightly. “I just want to be with her. Is that a problem?” he asked. I looked up at him and saw his eyes were dark.
Samuel leaned back and smiled. “No problem,” he said mildly.
Adam stared at him for a long moment. “Good. I’m glad you don’t have one.” There was a long silence and then Matthew stood and made a chopping motion with his hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked, looking up.
“Cutting the tension. It’s so thick in here,” he answered with a thin smile.
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