What is she thinking? Did she not think I’d really come back to check on her? Is she avoiding me?
Remembering the conversation I overheard her friends discussing in the library; I know she may, in fact, be trying to distance herself from me. I kick a rock as I walk and shake my head. I’m still going to show up and check on her. As I continue my hike, my mind keeps re-envisioning her injury that’s just been sewn freshly back together.
She can’t be around all that dirt, dust, and hay. Her injury could get infected.
An hour later, I approach the most detailed metal gate I’ve ever seen, with horses etched inside each panel. Peering ahead, I notice a white farmhouse with a wraparound porch, and to the right is a white barn with brown sliding barn doors and brown accent shutters on the top window of the loft. Unlocking the gate, I make my way down the gravel driveway. The rocks stop crunching under my feet when I halt at the barn's sliding doors, they’re open slightly, and I squint inside. I notice Tova on the ground near a stall at the end of the barn. A horse is lying beside her with its head in her lap. Stroking the delightful animal, she hums a soft song. Utterly oblivious to me being here, I take a moment to admire her. She’s so damn beautiful, compassionate, gentle, and I’m pretty sure I’m jealous of a horse right now because I sure wish that was my head in her lap.
Unable to resist any longer, I clear my throat, letting her know that she has company. Startled, she jerks her head in my direction but doesn’t move to get up. When she notices it’s me, she lifts her right arm and waves me over, patting the ground next to her for me to come to sit. Creeping inside, I do as she signals. When I reach her, I slide along the stall door to settle down right beside her. The horse, with its head still in her lap, lifts its nose to my side, sniffing me. I raise my left hand, the whiskers from its nose tickle, and I fight back the blaze trying to erupt from my palm. There may be a hint of smoke that seethes up because the horse sneezes. It’s kind of cute and funny at the same time.
Tova snickers under her breath as she resumes petting the gelding. “His name is Lightning,” she explains, tracing the lightning streak down his muzzle. “He was born in the stall behind you when I was four. He’s fourteen, almost fifteen now. His stall is the last one on this side. He and I grew up together. He’s never liked men, well anyone really for that matter. He never let any of the farmhands near him. I’m the only one he’d let feed, clean, and ride. When I was younger, he actually let me do handstands on his back for as long as I could keep my balance, which wasn’t very long.” She chuckles at the memory. “I’ve taught him everything he knows. He must sense you’re not a threat because he rarely takes kindly to other people.”
Placing my hands in my lap, I ask, “What exactly does that mean?”
“Well, he bucked my father off once, breaking his back. It took him a solid six months to recover. Then, my dad tried to exert his dominance on him another time, and Lightning kicked him in the chest, breaking so many ribs he couldn’t farm for six weeks. After my father recuperated, he was going to shoot Lightning. So, I snuck out that night. I led Lightning to the edge of the woods near our farm and released him outside the fence. He was still inside the protection wall but laid low, so my father never found him,” she explains quietly.
“I’m guessing since Lightning is back that your father doesn’t hate him as much anymore?” I ask, stretching my legs out in front of me, crossing my ankles.
“Something like that.” She shrugs.
Not understanding what she means, I probe, “Care to elaborate?”
“It means that Lightning is here to stay,” she states, not fully answering the question.
Probably pushing my luck, I’m not completely satisfied with her answer. “And your father?”
“He’s no father, merely a sperm donor. His name is Cladec, and he’s gone for good.” Her tone is cold and distant, almost unaffected.
“Did he get sick and die?” I ask, treading carefully on the topic.
“Ha! Nope!” she laughs bitterly.
“Did something kill him?”
“No, but a girl can always hope, right?” She tilts her head, slanting her eyes, examining me.
“Damn, that’s brutal!” I chuckle, shifting back so I can see her better.
“You have no idea!”
“You keep saying I have no idea, so tell me.” She’s silent. I press further, perhaps pushing my luck, “Is he the reason you can’t sleep?”
“Honestly, I’ve already told you too much. I just want to love on Lightning and forget about Cladec. Can we just do that?” Answering my question without actually answering it, I now understand that he is, in fact, a large part of her sleepless nights.
Not pushing the situation any further, I give in. “I guess. How’s your back?”
“The bandage is airtight and thick, no dust or dirt will get to it, and it’s not throbbing too badly. I took the pain medicine Mr. Hughes gave me,” she declares with a grin.
I smile back, placing my hands on my knees to stand up. “It’s getting late. Are you staying with your mom?”
Eyeing the stairs that lead up to the upper floor of the barn, she responds, “I’ll sleep up in the loft tonight. There’s no way I’ll fall asleep in that house, let alone in my old bedroom.” She’s now standing in front of me with Lightning upright beside her.
“It’s the middle of Summer, won’t you melt? Does your mom even know you’re here?” I ask, dusting off my pants.
“No, at night it cools off. I listen to the songs of the crickets, frogs, and cicadas.” She points to the window. “You can see the stars glowing through that window; it’s calming and peaceful. I simply count them when sleep evades me. And yes, my mom knows I’m here. We ate supper together. She’s known for a while that this place is my escape and is aware that I’ll be sleeping up there.”
Closing the space between us, I wrap my arms around her waist. “Obviously, this isn’t your first time sleeping out here, but I hate the thought of you being alone. Want some company?”
Placing her hands on my biceps, she delicately tips her head up to meet my eyes, penetrating me with those ocean blue eyes. “If you spend the night, how will you make it to the track on time?”
“I’m an early riser; as soon as the sun rises, I’ll head out.”
At least she didn’t immediately shut down the idea of me staying.
“I promise I’m a big girl and will be fine on my own, but if you really want…you can stay. The company might actually keep my mind off everything,” she concedes.
As she wraps her horse’s reins around her left hand, I remove my arms from her waist. After she puts her horse up in his stall, she strolls to me, taking my hand in hers as we head up the steps to the loft.
Taking in the view of her bedding options, I gape. “Wow, you’ve already got blankets and pillows thrown about. You’re really prepared.”
“Yeah, I did this before I got Lightning out of his stall. I really and truly hope I can get even a few hours of sleep.”
Sitting down on the pile of blankets, we lean against the wall next to the window and gaze out.
“Well, I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I have my pistol holstered in my jeans and my knife in my back pocket. You’ll be safe with me.” Removing the items from my jeans, I fill her in, “My dad had Kage and me shooting at targets since we were five and throwing knives since we were eight. He took us on every hunting trip he could. He’s a great father, taught me most of everything I know. I can only hope to be half as good a man as he is.”
“That’s great that you and your family have such a close bond and that you don’t take that for granted.” Her face looks solemn, and I see that glow in her eyes fade.
“Why don’t we lay down and try to get some shut-eye,” I nudge, sensing the need for a topic shift.
We both get pillows adjusted under our heads, and Tova lays facing the window while I spoon behind her, draping my arm across her torso.
As she trac
es the mutilations on my arm, she asks, “Where did your scars come from?”
“Well, you know how some people have alterations from the Dust?” I ask quietly.
Nodding a yes, she affirms, “Mm-hm.”
Appreciating her delicate touch, I resume, “Kage has the ability to emit water from his hands, specifically his palms. At first, we thought he just sweat a lot. But there was this trip we went on that showed otherwise. My dad, Kage, and I went on a hunting trip when I was ten. We were climbing up a tree stand when Kage’s nerves got the best of him. He was either really excited to drop a deer or terrified. All I know is that dad made it to the blind first. Kage was above me, almost to the top, when it suddenly felt like there was a waterfall above my head. As I was climbing, I reached up with my left hand and left leg when I lost my grip because everything was tremendously wet. I plummeted to the ground about twenty feet, and I swear I landed in the biggest thorn bush in the entire forest. By the time dad and Kage got me out, I was nothing but a bloody mess.”
“Why do you only have scars on your arms and nowhere else?” she presses.
“It was the end of Autumn, much cooler outside. I had a backpack on with a blanket fastened above the bag, or else my back and head would have been torn up by the thorns as well. Thankfully, only my arms were tattered.”
“Wow, y’all must have been terrified.”
Tracing circles on her stomach with the pad of my finger, I snort, “Kage wouldn’t stop apologizing for weeks. He finally realized I was going to be okay and stopped being so hard on himself.”
Gripping my arm, Tova squeals suddenly, “Look! A shooting star! All the stars are twinkling so bright tonight.”
Pressing my chest against her back, careful not to press too firmly on her bandage, I lean over her to look further outside. The night sky is the darkest ebony overspread with specks of light. However, in my attempt to see the shooting star as I hover above her, I can’t help but become entranced looking into her eyes. I now notice they are soft blue-green and gold-flecked with a dark blue rim. They are breathtaking, but there’s deep anguish behind them. “The only star I see is right in front of me.” I breathe, barely above a whisper.
She tips her head to look at me and then adjusts in my hold to face me. Holding my stare, she licks then bites her bottom lip. That’s all the invitation I need. Capturing her mouth, she presses her lips hard against mine, parting them with her tongue. Swiftly moving our tongues against each other’s, I pull her into my chest. She digs her fingers into my back, the intensity of the kiss sweeping both of us away. She throws her right leg over my lower half and draws my body even closer to hers. Breaking the kiss just enough to catch our breath, we continue our passionate exploration of one another; the kisses turning tender and less frantic. I trail my hands over her back, and her leg hiked above mine when she lets out a moan. My pants bulge in the middle, and my hands are heating quickly. Withdrawing my kiss breathlessly, I pant, “I have to stop.”
“Ugh,” she huffs. Cautiously, she leans back slightly, taking in my expression. Closing my hand around the back of her head, I tangle my fingers in her hair, tugging her forehead to mine, and I simply breathe.
“You okay?” she exhales.
“Yeah, I don’t want to hurt you,” I explain. Releasing my hold on her, I roll onto my back. The warmth subsides in my palms as she lays her head on my chest. I wrap my right arm around her body, keeping her close.
“Mm, k,” she groans, not pushing the subject further as she closes her eyes.
It doesn’t take her long to go to sleep. I, on the other hand, can’t keep my eyes off her. Not wanting this moment to end, I struggle to sleep, though eventually, I doze off a couple of times. As soon as I finally slip into a deeper sleep, I’m awoken and aroused by a perfect little rear wiggling against my damn waist.
13
Tova
The sun peeks through the window, waking me from the best sleep I have had in my entire life. No demons taunted me, no memories of Cladec haunted me. For once, I was sleeping so soundly. I’m sure if it weren’t for the sun shining in my face, I would still be asleep. The warmth of Pierce’s body is still pressed tightly against my back, and I know he will be late for training if I don’t wake him up.
This ought to be fun.
Our bodies are perfectly aligned, with his knees tucked up behind mine and his arm draped protectively around my middle. After that kiss we shared last night, I can’t resist torturing him just a little. Pressing back into him a little more fully, I wiggle my rear against his groin. With a slight groan, he squeezes the arm around my middle to keep me still.
Not a chance of that, buddy.
“I’ve been pressed against you all night, fighting the urge to devour you. You’d better stop that before I can’t control myself any longer, and I pounce,” he growls between kisses to the nape of my neck.
“What if I don’t want to stop?” I challenge.
“This isn’t the right time,” he mumbles, rising on one elbow to loom over me.
Turning over to face him, I nudge his chest, eyeing him suspiciously. “Yeah, um, okay.” Sitting up to face him, I drone, not meeting his eyes, “You’d better hurry and get to the track. Thank you for staying with me.” Picking up a piece of straw, I tear it as I quietly reveal, “I slept like a rock.”
I really am grateful for a good night’s rest. It’s been years since I’ve slept without being awakened by nightmares or night terrors.
Gently kissing me on the forehead, he gets up to leave. As he gathers his shoes, weapons, and shirt, he says, “Thank you for letting me stay. I’ll grab my stuff and head out. Are you staying here all week?”
Inhaling his scent, I close my eyes. Gosh, he smells so good, like bitter bark and lemon leaves, just like the Hophornbeam or Ironwood tree. Opening my eyes, I respond, “I plan to. I’ll go crazy staying inside that cabin. At least here I can groom the horses, help mama out around the house, and keep myself busy without tearing my stitches.”
“I’ll come to check on you at the end of the day.” He pecks my lips and turns to leave the barn.
Following him down the stairs, I watch him walk down the gravel drive and out the gate. My God, he’s so freaking gorgeous. Right before he leaves the gate, he turns back to see me standing in the barn, I wave goodbye, and he does the same.
Crossing my arms across my chest, I lean against the barn door and ponder what he could mean about it not being the right time. Does he think I’m repulsive? I mean, in my opinion, I am. I’m trash that the dog brought in. Just forget about him. Let him go, Tova. You’re no good for him! I slap my palm to my forehead, attempting to get out of my head. Ah, I can’t think like this, or I’ll go insane.
Mama and I finish up our lunch and are washing the dishes when I see Adi, Dani-Jo, and Cora filing up the stairs of our front porch. I rush to the door, flinging it open, and hug them all together.
“You doing okay?” Adi asks, patting my lower back, making sure not to touch my mutilated shoulder.
“Kinda.” Closing the door behind me, I ask softly, “Can we sit on the porch swing y’all? I have a ton to tell you.”
We scramble to the swing, sitting side by side. I fill them in on the events of last night, and all that went down between Pierce and me...and all that didn’t go down between us.
“You know this has nothing to do with your past right, Tova?” Adi presses.
“Well, what other reason would he have?” I ask, unwilling to believe her.
“Um, the fact that your back is battered probably has everything to do with it,” Dani-Jo chides.
Dropping my head in shame, I sigh. “I mean, I guess, but still, I felt like we had such a connection. I mean, a fire lit up inside me, and when he pulled back, it was like a physical blow to my gut.”
“It’s normal to feel like that if you think he’s rejecting you. I promise no guy is going to walk all the way out here to check on you, make sure you’re safe by staying the night with you, a
nd make out with you if he’s not totally into you. Now get a hold of yourself and DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT run this guy off. I see the way he looks at you. He’s got it bad,” Adi nags while elbowing me in the side.
“Not to mention he’s a gentleman, and he is a couple of years older than you. He wants to respect you and not force you to move too fast. He’s coming back tonight; that says a lot of his character. Cut the guy some slack,” Cora advocates, placing her arm across the back of the swing and around my shoulders.
I lift my chin. “That’s one of the many reasons I love you girls, talking me off the ledge all the time.” Stopping the swing with my feet, I question, “Do y’all have to go back for class or training, or can y’all ride horses?”
“Girl, we’ve already skipped the first hour. We’re not going to march all that way just to get there when it’s over,” Dani-Jo teases. “Let’s go riding. I mean, if you can with your back and all.”
All saddled up, the girls and I head out not too long after they arrive. “Let’s go to the creek bed that leads to that small lake. The horses can drink, we can cool off, and just horse around. Pun intended.”
“Ha, Ha. You think you’re funny, don’t ya?” Cora chides.
“Think? I know I am,” I giggle in response.
Trotting in silence toward our destination, Adi, riding Sundance, a palomino paint horse, and Lightning’s mother, is the first to break the silence. “Tova, you’re the bravest human being I’ve ever met. You walk through storms like they’re a field of daisies. You’re fierce yet kind, strong yet gentle, firm yet compassionate, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. But when it comes to finding the love of your life, you shut down and refuse to let anyone close to you.”
She glances back in my direction. “I don’t want you to do that with Pierce. Eventually, he’s going to find out what that piece of crap father did to you. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that when things start to get even remotely serious between you and a guy, you shy away. I want to challenge you.” Riding on my right side, she cross-examines me, smirking, then continues, “I know you never back down from a good challenge. Be brave enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to live the life you deserve. Conquer your nightmares and chase down your dreams. Never let fear hold you back. And stop thinking you’re damaged goods.”
Protecting Tova (Iron Mountain Book 1) Page 7
