“N-no, wait, easy, easy, buh-buh-bud-buddy—,” the young man stammered, his teeth rattling.
Temples twitching, bike held aloft, Shizuo Heiwajima said, “What’d you say? Bloody? Don’t worry—you’re about to get bloody, all right…”
“Calm down, Shizuo. He’s honestly gonna die if you throw it at him. And that’s an expensive machine. It’s not a fair punishment for illegal parking,” said a resigned voice near the bike-wielding incarnation of death and violence.
This other man had distinctive dreadlocks, and behind him was a white woman with knockout proportions and a flat expression.
“It’s stupid for you to become a murderer just because the guy dropped his name. Isn’t that right?” he continued without much force
Despite that, Shizuo relented and lowered the motorcycle to the ground.
“…Yeah.”
His fury at the quaking youth was still there, though. He glared at his prey as if the act would allow him to clench the boy’s heart in his hands.
Tom Tanaka, the man with dreads and glasses, cut between the two and bowed to the rider quite anticlimactically. “Sorry about startling you like that.”
“Er, uh, wha—?” The sitting duck gaped, his body trembling as he struggled to understand. He looked like an ordinary college student, except that he had three cell phones, one in his shirt pocket and two on either hip. It was pretty clear he wasn’t leading a perfectly innocent life.
Tom’s brow furrowed. “But you’ve got your own problems, man. I have no idea what you thought you were doing, but you had to have done your research before crossing him, right? How could you possibly think that saying, ‘You know Izaya Orihara? You guys are good friends, huh?’ was a good idea? On top of that, you never ask a question to a stranger that way, because he’s gonna think you’re picking a fight! Got that?!”
“S-sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry!” the young man groveled.
Behind Tom, Shizuo was calming down, his breathing steady again. He glared at the kid.
“So…what was that about me and the fleabrain?”
“S-s-suh-suh-suhhy!”
He was so freaked out that he couldn’t even pronounce the word sorry. Only by averting his eyes from Shizuo was he able to regain enough composure to speak with understandable clarity.
“I, uh, I am not your enemy! If—if—if anything, we’ve got a score to settle with that Izaya guy, too… And we’re looking for him now!”
“What…?”
“Er, I mean, the leader of our group, it turns out that Izaya had messed with his girlfriend…s-so he’s goin’ crazy trying to track the guy down!”
“So, what’d you wanna ask me?”
Several minutes later, they were in a quiet spot deeper in the park for easier discussion.
“R-right, well, we’ve been…uh…looking for information on this Izaya Orihara asshole…but he’s real hard to figure out, and we have no idea where he is…”
“Hell, I wish I knew where to find him. Then I could pulverize his skull myself…”
The Caucasian woman, Vorona, chimed in flatly, “A proposal of curiosity since ancient times exists. Is Izaya Orihara a life-form classified as a hated and fated foe of Sir Shizuo?”
“No, Izaya Orihara is a fleabrain because he’s like a parasite. He sneaks up on you, and before you realize it, he sucks your blood. You gotta be careful that he doesn’t latch on to you.”
“Understanding is complete. Acceptance and acknowledgment have completed simultaneously,” she said, which was about the longest and strangest way anyone had ever said, “I see,” and then filed the definition of Izaya Orihara away in their mental dictionary.
As a matter of fact, when she had been running odd jobs with her partner Slon, she’d taken on a contract from Izaya to hurt Anri Sonohara—but Vorona was so disinterested in her clients that she either forgot his name and face or never knew them to begin with.
Thus, she registered the name Izaya Orihara under the nickname “Fleabrain,” not realizing her own odd connection to the man.
Meanwhile, the young man interjected, eager to please, “Y-yeah! Yeah, exactly! He’s a real piece of shit, this Izaya guy! The boss is super-pissed! He wants to kill him for stealin’ his girl!”
Tom promptly threw some cold water on that idea. “Listen, I get that he’s mad about losing his girlfriend, but would you mind not involving us in your murder fantasies or whatever? Shizuo already loses his composure enough just by hearing the guy’s name.”
“…Don’t worry. If I grind him into a bloody pulp, I’ll make sure to do it in a way that doesn’t cause trouble for you, or Vorona, or the rest of the company,” Shizuo assured him, quite serious.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” Tom snapped. “First of all, you can’t do that without ‘causing trouble’ for us, and like I keep telling you, there’s no reason to throw your life away over a total scoundrel like him!”
“…Listen, if the fleabrain’s going to kick the bucket somewhere that I can’t see him, that’s fine…”
To no one’s benefit, Vorona chimed in, “If I carry out the assassination, there’s a high confidence that the evidence will reach a negative amount. Multiple methods exist to exterminate the pest Izaya.”
Shizuo met this bloodcurdling suggestion with a raised eyebrow. “C’mon, you shouldn’t say stuff like that, even as a joke,” he said, ignoring the fact that he himself had just mentioned murdering Izaya multiple times.
He patted Vorona on the head and said, “I appreciate the sentiment, though. Thanks.”
“…”
Vorona looked up at him in silence, then averted her eyes.
Shizuo and Vorona kinda seem like they’re having…a moment? Tom thought, conflicted about the combination of friendly interaction and conversation topic. I don’t know if this qualifies as a good moment, but…I guess it is? Or am I wrong?
Even further out of the loop was the stranger, who decided to break the growing silence by bowing to Shizuo and returning the discussion to the topic at hand.
“Um…so…um…I don’t expect you know where to find him, but…if you’ve fought with Izaya Orihara, maybe you’d know some tics of his, or patterns, or something like a weakness that we could exploit?”
“Weakness? You don’t need a weakness. Just find that skinny-ass fleabrain and beat the crap out of him until he’s dead. But…like a flea, I suppose he’s really good at speeding away. The only one who could catch him was Shishizaki back in high school… That’s right, ever since high school… Ahhh, the way that filthy flea was always jumping and hopping around…!”
Anger welled up in Shizuo’s eyes as his reminiscing took him further into the past, muttering to himself.
“Um…uh-huh…,” said the young man, who sensed danger and tried to wrap up their conversation so he could withdraw.
* * *
Then another voice split the night, one totally at odds with Shizuo’s.
“Vooo-rooo-naaa! Good eveni-yaah!”
With an odd combination of greeting and combat shout, a slender figure leaped on Vorona from behind.
“…”
Vorona blocked the attacker’s leg in silence and threw the person to the ground with one flowing motion. However, in the instant the attacker touched the ground, Vorona’s arms were suddenly empty, the mystery figure flipping in the air to land upright.
“Tch! So much for my plan to squeeze Vorona from behind!” said Mairu, laughing.
Kururi trotted up behind her and quickly bowed to the group. “…Night…” [Good evening.]
“I considered a need to ask before exchanging evening greetings. Why did you leap upon me and attempt to grapple? It is possible I would eliminate you by force. That is danger.”
“It’s just a little physical closeness! You’re such a force of eroticism, I figure we ought to take inspiration from each other to up our games! And you’re so strong, you know? So I want to attack you to find out
which of us is tougher. I’d be fine with taking you to the ground or being taken myself. Really, I just want to touch your skin to see how smooth it is. Can I just touch it? Please?”
“It is unclear what you are saying. I request you release an explanation,” Vorona said, confused.
Rather than answer her, Mairu waved to Shizuo. “Hey, Shizuo! Hi there! Sorry, I tried to waste dear Brother Iza today and failed!”
Right at that instant, the young man’s eye twitched. “Brother Eeza?”
He mulled over the meaning of this unfamiliar phrase, repeating it to himself—until a furious voice drowned out his own.
“Hey…why do you have three cell phones…?”
“Huh?”
The man turned to see Shizuo, his eyes flashing so dangerously you could actually tell through the sunglasses. He was so menacing that he could’ve been ready to attack at any moment.
“A guy walking around with three or four phones makes me think about that fleabrain… You aren’t getting up to some shady shit like him, are you? Actually, don’t answer that; I can just crush you to a pulp anyway…”
“W-wait, hang on…”
“If you don’t want that to happen, then disappear in the next three seconds…got that…?”
Just before Shizuo could start with one, the kid turned on his heel and sped out of the park like a rabbit.
The twins and Vorona looked extremely nonplussed. Tom, however, got the picture. He patted Shizuo kindly on the shoulder.
“See? That was nice. Sure, he probably thinks you’re crazy for snapping at him over having three phones, but at least he’ll keep a safe distance from you in the future.”
“…That’s not what I was doing. I honestly did get mad because it reminded me of that fleabrain,” Shizuo replied. He turned to Kururi and Mairu and warned them, “Don’t wander around the town for a while. Best not to advertise that you’re the fleabrain’s family.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“…Mystery…” [Why do you say that?]
Shizuo gritted his teeth in annoyance. “It seems like that moronic fleabrain is up to something again.”
Then he paused, unsure of whether to continue or not. He clucked his tongue. “Look, I don’t wanna say this to you, but if push comes to shove, he’d happily abandon you two to save his own skin, in my opinion. Sorry if you disagree with me there. But I’m worried about you. You need to be able to protect yourselves.”
For a moment, he worried that he was stepping outside of his comfort zone with that statement. The next moment, Kururi and Mairu each grabbed an arm.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he demanded.
Mairu cackled, and Kururi merely smiled. “So, you’re secretly really nice, huh, Shizuo?”
“…Respect…” [It’s wonderful.]
“I knew it! So is Yuuhei’s kindness actually something he got from you?”
“Knock it off! Don’t compare me to Kasuka. It’s not fair to him!” Shizuo snapped, both arms still held tight by the teenage girls.
“Requesting proximity from Sir Shizuo. Arm-related bonds diminish efficacy of work. It is impossible to understand why you undertake these actions,” said Vorona, trying to separate the girls from Shizuo.
Tom watched the humorous scene with a shake of his head and scratch of his cheek. “Things sure are lively over here.
“…Let’s just hope that nothing ends up happening.”
At that moment, Ikebukuro, building rooftop
“Nice to see you again, courier.”
Under a faded black sky, where the neon lights of the city erased any trace of the stars, Celty was shrouded in a darkness so deep that even the bright lights could not penetrate it. Standing opposite her and waving was Izaya.
“How’s Shinra doing? He was getting treatment with Nebula’s latest equipment, so I figure he’ll recover faster than if you’d taken him to Raira General Hospital. Or…depending on how the home recuperation is going, I guess that could be worse.”
“…Where did you hear all that?”
“Hey, I have my own information network. Feel free to imagine that I have spies within Nebula, if that will help you—but I doubt it will do you much good. I mean, just finding a spy isn’t going to change anything.”
It was the exact same Izaya whom Celty had always seen when he hired her to run jobs for him. And it was this fact that made her so annoyed.
Shinra claimed this man for a friend. And even though Shinra had been terribly hurt, and Izaya knew all about it, he was acting the same way he always did.
“If you were behind that attack on Shinra, then I think it’s quite useful to find your spies,” she wrote, channeling that frustration and suspicion. She showed the message to Izaya, but it had no effect on his attitude.
“Ooh, very scary. What did I tell you? I didn’t plot the attack on Shinra. I can’t imagine what benefit that would hold for me.”
“You seem like you would do anything because it ‘seemed fun.’”
“That is quite cruel. Do I really seem like such a hedonistic thrill seeker? I’m not as omnipotent or liberated as I would need to be to do any little thing that seems fun. Being a monster, you might find this hard to understand, but human beings live within many varied strictures. Total freedom is a luxury afforded only to those who are prepared to ride headlong to their miserable deaths. And I don’t want to die yet—simple as that,” he said, all glib pomposity.
This only amplified Celty’s irritation, which she poured into her PDA.
“…So Shinra got terribly injured, and you don’t feel a thing?”
“When I got stabbed and told Shinra about it, he said, ‘So long,’ and hung up the call. If I seem distant, it’s only because I’m matching his level of concern.”
“Damn… We were still worried about you…after that! Instead, you called the cops and set up traps, and… Besides, if you don’t like something being done to you, then don’t do it to others! And…and you got stabbed because you deserved it!”
“And Shinra didn’t?” he shot back.
Celty stood her ground. “I’m here to find out whether that’s true or not. You said you had information on the culprit? If you tell me you were lying, I really will truss you up and toss you to Shizuo.”
“I’ll lie to others and even to myself, but not when it comes to business. I wouldn’t have much of a business if I did that. You can think of lying as a kind of side hobby of mine.”
“Many people turn their hobbies into a job.”
“Good comeback. But let’s just get down to business, shall we?”
He straightened up from leaning against the rooftop fence and made his way toward Celty. But she trained her attention on the surroundings and warned, “Hang on.”
“What is it?”
“…Who are the people around us?”
She was speaking about the men elsewhere on the roof, lurking in the shadows of the building’s water tank, loitering against the walls, watching them. The sight of the bone-patterned jackets they were wearing jogged something in Celty’s memory.
“Hey, aren’t they from Dragon Zombie?”
Izaya clapped his hands. “Yes, brilliant! I’m surprised you remember them; they haven’t been riding for a while.”
Dragon Zombie was the name of a motorcycle gang that roamed far and wide through every corner of Tokyo. They often jostled with Jan-Jaka-Jan, the group that had Awakusu-kai backing, until they’d simply vanished from the streets not long ago.
Jan-Jaka-Jan had gone into hiding around the same time, which led Celty to suspect they were just laying low out of fear of that ferocious traffic cop. But the last thing she expected was to see them here on a rooftop, with nary a bike in sight.
“What are they doing here?”
He really is the mastermind behind Shinra’s attack after all, isn’t he? And now he’s brought some goons around to take care of me next…?
Her shadows writhed in alarm. If need be, Celty would plunge the entir
e rooftop into shadow.
Izaya waved a hand in benign denial. “Oh, don’t worry; you’re fine. No need for paranoia. These guys are both my transportation and my bodyguards, in a way.”
“Bodyguards…?”
“I got stabbed, didn’t I? I haven’t found the guy who stabbed me yet, but you know how people take things out on me, right? So I have no choice but to pay for personal protection. You know how they’re cracking down on bikers lately, don’t you?”
“I’ll admit you’re right about that,” Celty typed, shivering as she recalled her white-knuckle chase with Kinnosuke Kuzuhara yesterday. “But don’t act like you’re so innocent and people just have it out for you.”
“I was kidding. Even I understand that my actions and personality have rightfully earned me some enmity.”
“Have you considered trying to change your personality for the better?”
“If I feel like it,” Izaya said without interest.
Celty wasn’t particularly dedicated to correcting his ways, either. “Fine, I won’t pay attention to them. What do you need me to ferry?”
“Hang on, let’s do this in order. This will actually be a multiday job.”
“Not so fast. I have to take care of Shinra at home! I can’t just leave for several days!” she protested, but he shook his head like it was no problem.
“It’s fine. I’m not going to tie you down the whole time. It’ll last several days, but I only need a bit of time each day.”
“A bit at a time?”
“It’s simple. I just want you to be my assistant. There are some items of information I need to ascertain, and I need someone who can act freely, who isn’t tied down by their position or affiliation.”
“So ask your little Dragon Zombie friends.”
He wasn’t moved by this suggestion. “I need them to focus solely on my personal defense. My life is rather precious to me.”
“Then why are you asking a courier to do information gathering for you? That’s outside my line of business…,” she protested, but even Celty knew she had no choice but to accept.
She needed the information he promised to pay her—the culprit of Shinra’s attack—and she would just have to do what he asked of her. She could tie Izaya up with her shadows and threaten him, but she knew he wouldn’t give up his info, being blessed with an abnormal amount of willpower in that regard. She could only negotiate halfheartedly.
Durarara!!, Vol. 9 Page 6
