“That’s it for today everyone. Next week, we’ll be looking through the book of first Samuel and continuing our study of what it means to be an obedient servant to God.” said Daniel closing today’s Brotherhood Bible Study Session. Allen was too preoccupied by his own thoughts to hear anything Daniel said. Allen was still reeling from the disappointment of not being able to invest the money he was collecting for Davis’ mortgage payoff. He thought that this was what God wanted him to do: to use his skills and abilities in finance to help Davis. Now he had been relegated to just collecting money. He felt like he was going out of the will of God, and that he was on the brink of failing his ‘mission’. Allen didn’t want to have to keep working at the Sheraton any longer than he had to and he felt that if he failed his mission, God would leave him there indefinitely. Allen needed some guidance with this situation.
“Hey Al, you ready?” asked Davis nudging him into the present moment.
“What? Oh? Is it over?”
“Yeah, where was you?”
“I guess I was thinking about something?”
“Yeah, Daniel was laying down some real deep stuff. Especially when he was talkin’ ‘bout how obedience requires submission and puttin’ yo’self aside. Like the things you want that you think is good for you because God knows what’s better. I know what that’s like.”
“I hear you.”
“You sure? You seem kinda out of it.”
“There’s just something that’s bothering me.”
“You still ain’t heard nothin’ from God yet?”
“That’s the problem. I’m not sure.”
“The Pastor’s still here. Maybe you could talk to him about it.”
“You know what, that might not be a bad idea.”
“Yeah, I think I saw him go into his office earlier. You could go up and see.”
“Are you sure? This might take some time.”
“Don’t sweat it, man. I’ll meet you at Miko’s, aiight.”
“Okay, see you there.”
Allen left Davis and headed upstairs to the offices. He was about to knock on the door when he heard voices and footsteps approaching. Then all at once the door opened.
“Thank you for your time pastor, I really appreciate it”, said a familiar voice.
“Any time, Tim. I’m just so glad you’ve decided…Oh, Allen I didn’t see you there.”
Allen was stupefied.
“Tim what are you doing here? I thought you left with Tamiko a while ago.”
“Oh…well…She went home to help her mother with dinner, and so I just thought I might have a word with the pastor about a personal matter.”
“Really?!”
“Yes. And what brings you to my office, Allen?”
“I guess the same as Tim. I also had something rather personal to discuss with you.”
“In that case, I’ll just excuse myself. Thanks again, Pastor. I’ll see you all at dinner.”
“Any time, Tim. See you at dinner.” said Pastor Bynum bidding Tim farewell. When Tim was out of sight, the Pastor turned his attention to Allen. “Come in, Allen. I guess I have few moments to spare. What’s on your mind?”
“To put it simply, I feel like I’m moving out of the will of God.”
“And what makes you think that?”
“A couple of weeks ago, I got this feeling that God put me at the Sheraton for a reason and I think that reason was to meet Davis and help him with his need.”
“Oh, yes. Tamiko has told me all about it, and the fundraiser you’re doing. I’m willing to contribute needless to say.”
“Thank you, sir. But did she tell you that I wanted to invest the money so that Davis would be able to pay off the whole mortgage? No one trusts me enough to handle it. I believe that God wants me to use my skills to help Davis. I think he may even want me to use this gift to help other people who are in need financially.”
“How do you know for certain that God wants you to do this? What did you hear from him exactly?”
“There was no booming voice from above, but I got this feeling. And then when I started thinking about it, it all made sense.”
“Really, and how would you go about investing this money for Davis?”
“You see, I’ve been following some stock picks for a while now…”
“You’ve been following some stock picks. Did God reveal to you what to invest in?”
“I think He did. I noticed some patterns occurring…”
“Again it’s all about you, Allen.”
“What are you trying to say, Pastor Bynum?”
“I’m trying to say that when we are waiting for God to speak we have to be careful and make sure that we are listening to Him and not our own desires, wishes, or reasoning.”
“So you don’t think this is the leading of his Spirit?”
“Again, Allen, only you can be certain of that. But let me tell you this. When God wants you to do something, when he speaks to you, he will give you direction. If he wanted you to invest this money for Davis, he would show you what to do with it. You wouldn’t have to figure it out on your own.”
“But don’t we have some agency even in His will?”
“We do. We can believe what He says and act on it. When we try to figure it out for ourselves we just mess up. Look at what happened when Sarai reasoned that the child God had promised her would have to come through Hagar.1 And again, think about what happened when Moses reasoned the way to deliver the Israel was by the strength of his own arm. He slew the Egyptian and then had to go on the run and spend forty years in Midian.2 And finally think about what happened when Saul did not destroy all the belongings of the Philistines, but reasoned that he could use the sheep and the goats for a sacrifice.”
“I see. But I know that Davis and I were meant to meet each other. I know that I have a lot of good skills in finance that I’m not using. Then comes Davis with this situation. There’s just too much here for this to be just circumstance.”
“Allen, God put you at the Sheraton, and yes he may have wanted you to meet Davis. But there may be another reason he put you there as well. It may have to do with the work you are doing. Did you ever think of that?”
“I still don’t get why God would want me to be a porter? Why allow me to get a Harvard degree in finance if this is what he wants me to do with my life?”
“This is what he is allowing for now, Allen. Eventually you will see where your degree will come in. Concentrate on what God wants you to do right now. That’s the first step towards coming into promises for the future.”
“That’s what I thought I was doing.”
“I think you need to spend more time in prayer. You may want to consecrate yourself through fasting even. I could even tarry with you in the Upper Room if you want.”
“I’m not sure I want to go there yet.”
“Just think about it Allen.”
“I’ll do that.” Allen looked at his watch. “Speaking of tarrying, I think we’ve tarried a bit too long here already. It’s almost time for dinner.”
“You’re right. Mother Rose will have a fit if we’re not there on time. She came down pretty hard on Tamiko a while back. And I know she’ll do the same to me.”
“I guess we better be going then.”
“You said it.”
Fifty-Two
Commencement Page 68
