Davis had been avoiding Allen for the past three weeks. At first it was because he was angry about what Allen had done to him, but now it was for a different reason. After praying and hearing God respond through his word, Davis was beginning to see the situation a bit differently than he had before, and he was embarrassed by his own fleshly response on that particular night in question. It had led him to read Tamiko’s note, which further convinced him of how wrong he was about all of them. Now he had to confront his own weakness in order to make reconciliation with Allen and God, and it wasn’t going to be easy.
Davis had to acknowledge that he had a lot of pride, and although the world would say that was a good thing, he knew from reading his Bible that “Pride goeth before a fall.”1 It was pride that had led him out into the street life, searching for “respect” and “cred”, both of which came with a very high price that almost cost him his life. It was pride that ruled his flesh in his angry response to Allen and the way that he interpreted the events of that Christmas Eve.
He had been praying and when he had finished, something told him to read his Bible. He just happened to be reading in the book of John in the 9th chapter. It was about when Jesus opened the eyes of the blind man and the Pharisees were questioning the blind man about who opened his eyes and how.2 They just couldn’t accept that Jesus opened the man’s eyes because of their pride. In fact, they couldn’t accept Jesus gift of salvation because of their pride. Their pride blinded them to the truth of who Jesus was. They were too caught up in their status and their position to learn from Jesus. God revealed to Davis through the scripture that he had done the same thing; he had focused too much on his reputation in the church rather than accepting the gift and being thankful to God and the people who he was working through for their generosity.
Looking back he realized that Allen was not “looking down on him”. It was Davis’ own insecurity about himself in relation to Allen. It was Davis who was looking down on himself, believing that because of his background, he wasn’t good enough to hang with people like Allen and Tamiko and the others. He remembered that Allen’s other friend, Richard, didn’t have a college degree, either and he hadn’t seen Allen show him any less respect than anyone else. Coming to this realization, he took out Tamiko’s letter and read it.
Dear Davis,
I’m so sorry about what happened at the Christmas Celebration. Our friends and I all realize just how wrong we were to put you on the spot like that in front of so many from our church community. We’ve all been deeply distraught over seeing how much you were hurt and for that we are truly sorry.
We all miss you here at Greater Apostolic. Daniel misses your insightful questions. My father misses your sobriety and respect, and we all miss your warmth and quiet affection. Most of all, we miss your friendship. You once said that we were a blessing to you. Well, you were just as much a blessing to us. You’re a person with character and integrity, something not often found in this world that we live in. Please consider this apology. It is meant with all my heart. If you want to talk, you can call me any time.
Sincerely and Affectionately Yours in Christ,
Tamiko
This wasn’t a letter that could have come from a so-called “stuck up bougie snob.” Davis had even felt guilty for judging them in the same way that he thought they were judging him. In fact, if they had not respected him as an equal, there would have been no way that any of them would have thought of apologizing (Even Tim left an apology on his cell at one point). If they were the people he had judged them to be, they would have all been indignant and called him ungrateful. They wouldn’t have cared less if he came back to their church or not.
Adding to everything else, Davis was lonely and he missed the company of Allen, Tamiko, Richard, and even Tim to an extent. But he felt he had been such a fool. “What if they were re-evaluating things just as he had been?” Davis thought to himself. “What if they were beginning to feel that he had acted like a fool and they didn’t need someone like that hanging with them?” It was these kinds of thoughts that kept him from going back to Greater Apostolic or approaching Allen to reconcile.
And in the last day or so, he had tried approaching Allen. Yesterday he saw Allen working on replacing light bulbs on the 5th floor, and thought about walking up to him, but he didn’t know what to say that didn’t sound stupid. How could he just walk up to him after avoiding him all this time and just strike up conversation like nothing happened. So he backed off. Then after reflecting on the moment, he realized that this was just his pride again. He was just afraid of being hurt. Davis realized he needed to put his pride down and just talk to Allen. That’s what he had worked up the courage to do now.
Davis finished up on the cabinet he was working on quickly because he knew that Allen would be having his last 10 minute break within the next few minutes. Davis knew Allen always spent his breaks in the little office on the 5th floor. He would just go down there and ask him if he would talk to him for a second. Davis took the elevator down to the 5th floor and went to the office, but there was no sign of Allen. He thought of calling him on the radio, but that seemed too impersonal. So Davis headed down to the next place where he might find him: the locker room. The longer it took to find Allen, the more nervous he became. As he traveled the complex system of corridors to get to the locker room in the basement, another voice tried to talk him out of what he was doing, but Davis kept to his resolve. Yet, upon arriving at the locker room, Allen wasn’t there either. This was strange. He knew Allen had punched in today because he saw his time card this morning. Then he went over to Mr. Hardy’s office.
“Hey, Mr. Hardy. Have you seen Allen?”
“Oh, he left early today. He’s helping a sick friend who’s going into the hospital.”
“What?! Who’s sick?”
“He didn’t say.”
“Did he say which hospital he was going to?”
“I’m not sure if I remember. Presbyterian maybe. Do you need him for something?”
“Nah. It’s not that important.”
As Davis left the office he couldn’t help but feel a little shaken. Who could it be? As one familiar face flashed before him, it nearly took the wind out of him. He thought of going over and checking in at Presbyterian to see them, but then he had another thought. “With everything that’s going on, I’m probably the last person any of them want to see.” But he couldn’t help but be concerned for whoever was in the hospital right now, especially if it was the person he thought it was. Davis looked at his watch. He had five minutes of his 10-minute break left; just enough time to go back to the little office and pray for his friends.
Sixty-Two
Commencement Page 79
