by R L Medina
“They’re the guardians of this world. Guardians of realms and investigators of magic and myth. GRIMM. They make sure we behave and don’t abuse our magic.”
“So like police or something?”
Grandmere shook her head. “They are skilled soldiers. Skilled in magic too. They have very strict laws about what we can do here. When something happens, they cover it up to make sure the humans remain blind to magic and to us.”
“But why?”
“To avoid another war. We’re only allowed to stay in the Outer World as long as we don’t cause trouble and don’t reveal ourselves openly.”
Des grunted. “I don’t know why anyone would want to stay here.”
I looked around the sparsely furnished room. Did Grandmere like it here? Did she miss her old home? I sifted through my memories, trying to find one that would help me. I needed a memory that was mine, something real and true.
Nothing came to me. I was born here, and the stage had already been set, Mom’s new identity and life became my only reality. I didn’t want to be angry at her, but the realization of everything she kept from me hurt. How could I ever trust her again? Guilt filled me. Where was Mom now and what was happening to her?
“The Goblin King. He’s the one who took her? Mom’s not coming back. Is she?”
Grandmere gave me a pained look.
“Is she... is he going to kill...” I couldn’t finish the question. Everything felt surreal to me. Like I had swapped places with someone else. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t really happening to me.
“Probably,” Des answered. Grandmere glared at him.
She patted my hand again. “I’m sorry, Renée. The Goblin King will show no mercy. If he hasn’t killed her already, he will.”
My heart stuck in my throat. “But why? Why does he want her?”
Des shrugged. “We don’t know.”
“Isn’t there some way to save her?”
Grandmere shook her head. “It’s too dangerous for you to go.”
“Someone has to go. What about her court? Her family?”
Des grunted. “She’s not royalty anymore. And all that’s left of her court are the weak, unwanted fae. There’s no one.”
“We have to at least try to rescue her! I have to try.” My voice cracked.
Grandmere shifted on the couch and took my hands. “Even if you could go, we wouldn’t even know where to look for her. There are many places he could have hidden her away.”
Her words hit me like a hammer. Mom. She hadn’t been honest with me, but I knew she loved me. The realization that she’d given up her whole life, royalty, freedom for me made my heart twist. I would never be able to tell her I understood. That I forgave her for lying to me. Tears fell down my face.
Grandmere pulled me into a fierce embrace as I unleashed it all. Waves of sadness washed over me. I never knew my dad and learning his fate was painful, but that was nothing compared to the agony of losing Mom.
My heart broke for all the things we’d never have together again. Long night chats. Weekend picnics in the park. Driving lessons that usually ended in laughter. Our whole future gone in a flash. How was I supposed to live without her?
“What happens now?” My voice was hoarse. I didn’t budge from Grandmere’s arms.
She stroked my hair softly. “You’ll stay here with me. We’ll teach you how to use your power so that we can stay hidden.”
I withdrew from her and shook my head. Stay? Forever? I didn’t know what I wanted anymore but hiding here with Grandmere was not it. And I wasn’t so sure I wanted to learn about or use my powers. What if I did something and got us in trouble with GRIMM?
Hurt flashed in her eyes, making me feel guilty. She wasn’t my grandmother, but she was the closest thing to family I’d ever have again. My last link to Mom and our old life.
“Princess Cindra will ensure your protection here. She’ll send other eyes to keep watch.” Des spoke to Grandmere.
“You’re leaving?” I looked up at him.
“When she summons me, yes.” He examined his nails.
“But you’re coming back?”
He frowned. “I hope not.”
Grandmere glared at him. “You could help her with her magic.”
He glared back at her. “I’m not her tutor or her nursemaid.”
I tried to hide my surprise. His surly presence wasn’t exactly pleasant, but at least he was somewhat familiar. Funny, all the years I wished him to go away, and now that he was going, I didn’t want him to. I would really be alone, except for Grandmere.
“What are you then? My aunt’s spy?” I asked.
He gave me a mock bow. “Spymaster and assassin.”
I laughed.
His eyebrows flew up before furrowing into a scowl. His eyes flashed red. I stopped laughing. He was serious. I thought about our first encounter, his knife poised above my heart.
With a flip of his long hair, he walked past us and out the front door. I didn’t know if elves felt emotions the same as humans, but I got the impression that I had upset him by laughing at him. I snorted. For someone so ancient and otherworldly, he seemed immature. Not at all like an ageless elf assassin and spymaster.
“What was that about?” I looked at Grandmere.
She shrugged. “He’s vulgaire. The lowest caste. There are not many jobs available to them. Assassin was probably his best choice.”
I cringed. And I had laughed at it. “Why did Mom hire him?”
“Your grandmother kept sending assassins after her so she hired her own to kill them before they could kill her.”
“But why?”
“She blames your mother for the death of Princess Ava, your mother’s twin.”
My mouth dropped open. “Mom had a twin?”
Hurt pierced through me. How many more secrets had she kept from me?
“Yes. She died in the Goblin War along with your great grandfather. She would have shared the throne with your mother.”
“I thought you said Mom was the youngest. Isn’t the oldest supposed to inherit the crown?”
Grandmere sighed. “It’s different in Feylin. Your grandmother won the crown by killing the King’s consorts so her children, though the youngest, would inherit. But now… Prince Sylvain, your mother’s stepbrother, will inherit.”
“And he’s the oldest?”
“No. Princess Maloret is the eldest, but she will never inherit. She has fairy blood.”
She spoke as if that fact explained it all. Elves, fairies. Weren’t they all the same?
“How many are there?”
How many siblings had my mom never mentioned?
“Four. Your mother has two stepsisters and two stepbrothers. They each rule their own court. The Court of Flame, the Court of Shadow, the Court of Life, and the Court of Tides.”
All the names spun in my head. So many questions unanswered. Nausea filled me. Not one of her siblings had helped her? And her own mother hiring an assassin to kill her? What kind of ghastly world did Mom grow up in?
I shuddered. There were so many more things that didn’t make sense. A caste system, court politics, and magical powers. I didn’t know if I could ever understand Mom’s past. I was grateful I hadn’t been raised in such a place. Even if I had to live in secret all my life, at least here I was safe.
5
After lunch, Grandmere gave me a tour of her gardens and as much as I tried to listen, I couldn’t pay attention. She could talk about her precious plants and her bird sanctuary all day. It turned out being a dryad—a tree spirit—gave her the uncanny ability to make anything grow in the cold Colorado mountains.
Thankfully she didn’t drag me inside the coop. I couldn’t handle more bird thoughts in my mind. I didn’t know what her life was like before, but she seemed happy here. Could I be happy too? How could I ever be happy again without Mom? My heart twisted every time I thought about her, leaving me raw and burning.
“I know this all must be very confusing
and painful, Renée. If I could take your mother’s place, I would. We thought we were safe here. When Des told us of his return, your mother, she feared he would try come for her. That’s why she moved you to the city. We thought we were safe.”
Her voice fell silent, and I looked up to see her wiping tears from her eyes. Tears filled my own as I clutched my charm.
“I promised her if anything happened, I would protect you with my life. Des has done his job well and made sure no word could get back to anyone.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
She paused and turned to face me. “The Queen’s spies and the hobs and creatures here that are loyal to the Goblin King. They came for you. Des killed them.” She spoke softly.
I shuddered. I hated to think about him killing anyone even if they were monsters. My stomach clenched. What if the GRIMM started investigating? Was that something they monitored or were humans their only concern?
Grandmere wrapped her poncho tighter around her thin shoulders and stared at her thriving garden. I wanted to ask her more about Feylin, about mom’s past, but I didn’t dare break the silence. Some part of me was scared to learn more. What was the point in finding out now? It wouldn’t change anything. Mom would still be gone. My chest tightened. Would this pain ever go away?
“It’s getting colder, we should get you inside. Are you hungry again?” Grandmere broke the silence.
I shook my head. Grandmere never seemed to be hungry, and I had a suspicion she ate more out of show than need. Did tree spirits even need food? She moved toward the cabin and I followed her, glancing up at the cloudy sky. Voices in my head murmured, making me jump. I glanced around but saw nothing but mountain and forest. The voices were muffled and sounded far away. I took a deep breath and pushed them away. I wasn’t ready to deal with my power or magic or whatever I was supposed to call it.
“Renée?” Grandmere called back to me. I hurried after her, imagining a wall in my mind to keep the voices away. It was always a wall or shield they talked about in all the books and movies I’d read and seen. I closed the door behind us, not daring to look back at the forest.
The rest of the day moved slowly. I helped Grandmere prepare a vegetable soup for dinner and lay on the couch, trying to take the rest Grandmere insisted I needed. I couldn’t bring myself to go back into the room Mom and I used to share. I didn’t know if Des was coming back, but I’d rather sleep on the couch and let him have the room.
By the time the soup was ready, he still hadn’t shown up. Grandmere and I ate in silence, both lost in our grief and memories. My eyes kept drifting to the empty chair Mom had sat in so many times. A jolt of pain went through me. She wouldn’t be there for my birthday. My 16th. It was a stupid thought, but it filled me with fresh sorrow.
Everything fell quiet. Even the animals in the surrounding woods were silent as if out of respect for our mourning. Another fear made me tremble. Would I be stuck there with Grandmere for the rest of my life? Was this what every day would look like? I didn’t know if I could handle the quiet. It would only drive me further into my grief and dark thoughts. I needed a distraction. School, work, anything.
“Tomorrow you can help me in the bird sanctuary.” Grandmere’s voice startled me.
I gave her a tight smile. The thought of using my power with the birds made me nervous. What if I hurt them somehow? I knew eventually I needed to learn the rules of my magic if only to keep from getting in trouble. But with Mom gone, it felt wrong. If she wanted me to fit in with humans, shouldn’t I steer clear of my elfishness?
The front door opened, making us both turn. Grandmere stood and walked towards it cautiously. I followed her, relaxing as I spotted Des lumber into the room.
“You’re feeding her again?” He turned to Grandmere.
Grandmere lifted her chin slightly in response.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I frowned.
He gave me an exasperated look. “Halfling.”
I bristled. He acted like it was my fault I’d been lied to and sheltered.
Des grunted. “She’s not human.”
I gave him an incredulous look. First, he insulted me for being too human and now I wasn’t human?
“Well, she’s not fully elf, and she’s still a child. We don’t know what she’ll grow to be.”
I reeled back. How could they stand there and talk about me like I was some monster? Des, I could understand that from him, but Grandmere? Had Mom seen me that way too? Not full elf, not full human, but something weird and in between. My heart pounded in my ears and the floor swayed beneath my feet. I shook my head, trying to clear the swirling thoughts.
“Renée,” said Grandmere. No, not Grandmere. Grimera. She reached for me and I shied away from her touch. My eyes flitted from her to Des. His strange yellow eyes bore into me. I bolted for the door. His hand caught me, making me stop sharply and fall back. I crumpled to the floor.
“Stop! You’re scaring her.” Grandmere’s voice sounded far away.
I tried to steady my breathing and focus on my charm bracelet. The silver unicorn stared back at me.
“She should be scared. Her mother’s power could already be passing down to her. She needs to learn how to wield it. Not keep playing human.”
Grandmere scowled. A shiver crawled down my spine. What did he mean playing human? I was human, partly. Were they going to force me to give up everything I knew? Dread stirred inside me, making me sick to my stomach.
Grandmere folded her arms across her chest. “Then why don’t you petition the Court of Flame to stay here and teach her?”
Des’s lip curled. I shared the sentiment. I wanted nothing to do with the surly elf. Maybe being an outcast had made him this way, but I wasn’t so sure the other elves would be much nicer. Not to a halfling, like me. Grandmere looked at me with pity. I stared at my trembling hands and said nothing. I didn’t trust my voice not to quake or tears to spill out.
“You could teach her what you know.” Grandmere gave Des a pointed look.
Des looked down at me. “Get up.”
My heart pounded against my ribcage. I met his gaze and shuddered. Grandmere stood behind him, a worried frown on her face, but she made no move towards me. Des’s eyes looked even more feral in the waning daylight.
“Don’t you want to practice?” His voice sounded haughty.
I gaped at him. Practicing magic with the shady elf assassin was the last thing I wanted to do. He was supposed to be my protector, but I didn’t feel safe with him. I wasn’t sure I could trust him.
I sent Grandmere a pleading look. She pursed her lips and gave me an encouraging nod. My heart deflated.
“Right now?” My voice was hoarse.
“Yes.”
Grandmere shifted nervously. “Couldn’t it wait until morning? She’s…”
Des leveled her with a glare. She fell silent.
I didn’t budge. Des’s eyebrow arched in a challenge. Fear spiked through me, but I couldn’t move. What was he going to do? Drag me outside?
“Coward,” he hissed at me, eyes flashing.
“She’s tired. She’s been through so much.” Grandmere clucked her tongue.
Des turned on his heel and stormed outside. I closed my eyes, wishing I was somewhere else. Wishing I could rewind time. My eyes burned from all my crying and my chest felt hollow. It was too much. It was all too much. I was a coward, but I didn’t care. Couldn’t I just have one night to process everything?
Grandmere sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around me. Sensing my pain, she said nothing. Her warmth made my heart hurt. How I wished we could go back to pretending everything was normal. That she was human. That I was human. I rested my head against her shoulder and listened to the wind whip through the forest outside. Before long, my eyelids grew heavy. I welcomed the darkness. The peace. I needed it.
I woke up with a start. Where was I? I sat up and looked around. Grandmere’s couch. She had piled two heavy blankets atop of me. I pulled them clos
er, shivering in the cold mountain air.
Something was watching me. I blinked, trying to make out a dark shadow by the door. Was it another elf? Or a different type of fae? A hobgoblin? My heart sped up and my hands grew sweaty.
“Hello?”
The shadow moved closer. A chill crawled over my skin. I strained my eyes, trying to make out the shape. I held my breath, waiting for it to move again.
Help me. A voice intruded in my head. It was a strange, eerie sound like a wailing wind.
I froze. It didn’t sound dangerous, but it could be a trick. All I could make out was a dark mass drifting closer to me. Was it some kind of animal?
“What do you want?” My voice shook.
A long claw-like hand reached out for me. I pushed myself as far back as I could go. My back pressed into the sofa. Heart pounding, I clenched my eyes shut and covered my face. Was this it? Was this how I died?
“Renée!” Grandmere’s voice made my eyes fly open. The light came on and I gasped.
A large, black four limbed creature stood before me, watching with hollowed out eyes. It shrieked and dove for me, but landed with a knife in its broad, scaly back. Des stood over it and thrust another knife beside the first. I stared at the grisly sight before me. It collapsed in a heap.
“What is it?” I asked Des.
“Animal spirit.”
I blinked at him. “What? What kind of animal is that?”
He shrugged. “Big one.”
I looked at Grandmere. She met my gaze. “It could have been a bear. When the animals become spirits, they’re usually invisible to the human eye. But we can see them. See what their spirits have become.” She shuddered.
“How? Shouldn’t their bodies be rotted?”
Des’s eyebrow arched. “They are. These are their spirit bodies.”
I shook my head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
He shot me an irritated look. “Ordinaire.”
I ignored his insult and stared at the knife hilts. “How can you kill a spirit with a blade?”
Des yanked his knives out. “Spirit blades.”
A snort escaped me, making him scowl.
