by R L Medina
Fire lit in Cindra’s hand. “Enough. You cannot deny her now. The guardian has chosen.”
His face contorted in rage, wind whipping around him, but he said nothing.
He turned to face the crowd. “The Court of Life acknowledges Princess Renée, daughter of Princess Aubri of the Court of Fur.”
Aunt Maloret twirled a finger in the air, pushing around dark tendrils of shadow. “Do you acknowledge Renée as a Princess of Feylin?”
Uncle Sylvain glared at her. “The Court of Life acknowledges her as a Princess of Feylin.”
The lesser fae and courtiers bowed before me. My eyes bulged. A wave of anxiety swelled inside me. And pride. I’d done it. All the courts, except the White Court, had accepted me.
Aunt Maloret clapped her hands. “Now that that’s over, let the celebration begin!”
Uncle Sylvain’s lips pursed. Aunt Maloret chuckled and waved him forward. His chest puffed out as he addressed the crowd. “In honor of our new… princess. Let us celebrate.”
They didn’t give me time to change, but Grimera brought me water. Word spread, and more courtiers returned, dressed in beautiful swaths of green and gold fabrics. Lively music started, and slaves brought out trays of juicy fruit and sugary treats. I sat in the grass, running my hand through the soft blades as Sacha and my new unicorn friend joined me.
Mag brought us a tray piled with berries. The sun set as the dancing started and try as I could, I couldn’t get the image of Jack out of my mind. Thankfully, I hadn’t been ordered to share what happened and my friends didn’t ask though I saw the curiosity in their stares. I sat in silence, watching the fae laugh and dance under the waning sun. The trees swayed back and forth with the music and breeze.
“You survived.” Sacha smiled.
I returned his smile, but dark thoughts swirled inside.
What would I have to become to survive? How far would I go?
Sleep didn’t come. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Jack’s mindless stare. I tossed and turned on my feathery pillow bed. Wind drifted through the leaves around me. My magic stirred, shaking off the sleepiness in an instant. A small, dark wavering shape drifted towards me. Aunt Maloret? Des?
Princess Renée, daughter of Aubri, Princess of the Gray Court.
His words rumbled in my mind.
“Who are you?”
I was once called Aesir. Alpha of the Gray Forest wolves and guardian to your mother. Now I am spirit.
My breath hitched. A wolf spirit?
Hope speared in my chest. “My mom? Do you know where she is?”
Yes.
“Can you take me to her?”
It’s not time.
A hot wave of anger rushed through me. Not time? She’d been gone too long.
She sends word to you. That you must watch your step and reign in your magic.
I scoffed. That. That is what she had to say to me after all this time?
She says to be careful and trust your instincts. The path ahead is difficult, and she knows that you don’t understand, but everything will be revealed in time. She loves you and misses you, and every day she longs for the day you’ll be reunited.
Despair gutted me. Hot tears stung my eyes. I rubbed them away. “Why didn’t she come herself? Why can’t I see her?”
It’s not time.
“When will it be time?”
I don’t know.
Frustration welled inside me. Cryptic answers. That’s all anyone had for me. I needed more. How could Mom expect me to wait here blindly? None of it made sense. I glanced up to ask more questions, but the spirit was gone. I jumped to my feet, searching for its wavering shape.
“Wait!” My voice echoed in the night.
“Princess?” Mag’s sleepy voice answered. “What is it?”
I motioned for her to go back to sleep. “Nothing.”
His words turned over in my mind. What was Mom doing? Had she really picked the Goblin King over me? I settled back into bed but couldn’t sleep. My thoughts kept me awake until morning.
I didn’t tell anyone about the spirit. They assumed my gloomy mood was attributed to the fact that we were leaving the Green Court and going to the White Court. To face the Queen’s trial. Uncle Sylvain demanded an account of my trial and I had no choice but to tell him about Jack and the unicorn. Reliving the event made me even more withdrawn. Thankfully, no one seemed to mind as I ate and packed in silence.
The unicorn had disappeared, much to my uncle’s frustration. Saying our goodbyes, my mind was elsewhere, and I slept the whole flight. Sacha woke me up as we finally stopped. In the Red Court. Aunt Cindra believed I needed another party thrown in my honor to snap me out my ‘funk’ as Aunt Maloret called it.
Red and gold gowns and coats swirled around the ballroom as courtiers danced. Fairies, imps, and brownies rushed around with trays of wine and food. Laughter and music bounced off the dark walls. Bloodstone, it was called, but the red was so dark it looked more like black. Fire leapt off the jeweled statues, pouring heat into the room. I dabbed a cloth at my sweaty forehead. Why didn’t the elves sweat? Taking a sip of my cool wine, I hid my groan. Aunt Cindra insisted on throwing this party in my honor, but all I wanted to do was escape. Spend my last night walking through the gardens with Sacha.
He’d promised to meet me there after the party finished and it was all I could to do to not bolt from my seat. Emotions flared around me, making my head pound. I didn’t know how Mom had handled court life for so long. I longed for silence. Forcing a smile at my aunt, I scooped up another tart and bit into it, pushing away my misery.
Fire dancers twirled and leapt before us, but I struggled to pay attention. Didn’t they ever get tired of these balls? After centuries, you’d think they’d be over it. I popped another tart into my mouth, almost wishing Aunt Maloret would crash this party like she’d done before.
“Would you like to dance?” Aunt Cindra’s voice interrupted me.
My eyebrows shot up in alarm. Dancing in front of everyone was the last thing I wanted to do. I shook my head, hoping she wouldn’t force the issue.
Her lips pursed, but she said nothing as she moved off the stage and into the crowd. I tracked her movement as the courtiers bowed and parted for her. She stood tall in her layered, lacy red gown and when she moved, everyone paused to watch. Dark curls bounced, and fire leapt from her hands, streaking through the air.
The courtiers clapped, and I followed along. She smiled as her power radiated from her, but a realization struck me. It wasn’t the same smile I’d seen her share with Des. This was the face of the Princess of the Court of Flame, regal and proud, but deep down, was she happy?
Time seemed to slow as I sat and drank and ate, watching the courtiers dance until my eyelids grew heavy. The wine made my head fuzzy and my skin flushed. The music echoed around me and the colors swirled. My movements seemed to slow, and my senses dulled as I picked at the remaining food on my plate. Like a trance, I thought.
Drunk? I snorted at the thought. What would Sacha think?
Oh, no. Sacha.
Was he still waiting for me in the gardens? I glanced around, not surprised to see no one was paying me any attention. Carefully, I stood up and brushed off the food crumbs from my gown. My head spun. I blinked, trying to clear it. With slow steps, I left the platform and walked past the crowd. The music and laughter blared as I swept past the guards. Their eyebrows knitted together as I returned their bow and snorted at them.
I slapped a hand against my flushed face and hurried down the corridor. Darkness enveloped me, and I swore under my breath. My enchanted rock was in my room. How would I find my way now?
Movement startled me. I spun and found myself face to face with a pair of familiar yellow eyes.
“Des.”
He cocked his head in acknowledgment. My nose scrunched up. The last thing I needed was him to know where I was going.
“Lost? Your room is the other way.”
I smiled. “I need to see Gr
imera first. In the gardens.”
His eyes narrowed. “Allow me to escort you.”
Cringing, I waved him forward. “Mmm. Thanks.”
He moved past me, and I shuffled behind him as close as I could in the dark. Not long, we left the castle and walked the sandy trail towards the garden. Above us, a full moon and starry sky shone. Des’s white hair glowed beneath his dark hood. His yellow eyes narrowed on me. I smiled.
“Are you drunk?”
I snorted. “What? No.”
He stopped in front of me and folded his arms across his chest. “You reek of wine.”
Copying his stance, I folded my arms too. “What are you, some cop? It’s not illegal… here.”
His lip curled. “I can’t allow you to disgrace your aunt like this. I’ll return you to your room.”
Anger shot through me. “No. I’m going to the garden.”
He scoffed. “To meet Grimera, huh?”
I lifted my chin and tried to stomp past, but my movements were too slow. He caught me easily.
I hissed. “You’re not supposed to touch me! I’m a royal.”
He laughed. “A royal pain in the ass.”
“I could make you let go,” I snarled.
He smiled. “Your mother would be so proud, no? You’re more fae than human these days. I wonder what your father would think?”
My skin heated. “Shut up.”
He snorted. “So brave, are we?” He leaned in closer, yellow eyes narrowing.
I flinched under his stare.
“You may think yourself invincible, halfling, but I am still your guardian.”
He sneered. “Return to your room and sleep it off.” He waved towards the gardens. “Sacha isn’t here.”
A blush crept up my neck. I sniffed. “I wasn’t looking for him.”
Des smirked. “Right.”
He sighed. “Renée, you are not in the Outer World anymore. Your recklessness here will have severe consequences. Think before you act. You used to be afraid of your own shadow and now…”
I glared. “What?”
He shrugged. “Be careful.”
With that, he ushered me back to the palace, and I let him. We walked in silence, past the party and the laughter of the courtiers. I glanced at him and wondered if he missed the Outer World. At least there he’d been free to walk around, not hide in the shadows.
He stopped at my door. “Goodnight, princess.”
I watched him go, playing his warning in my mind. Had I grown reckless? Was I so different now?
22
Morning came all too early. I groaned, rolling over in my bed. My head pounded, and nausea rolled in my gut. A bitter, chalky taste filled my mouth. I moaned. Too much wine. I blinked, trying to clear my head. Today we were leaving for the White Court. A chill settled in my chest. I took it as an omen that things were about to get even harder. The Queen’s piercing gaze flashed in my mind. I shuddered. How could I face her again?
You’re not the same as before.
I snorted at the thought. Sure, I’d won the trials so far and there was a heavy truth in it, but this was the Queen. The Ren from the Outer World wouldn’t have lasted this long. I shook my head. No, but I did. I was still the same girl, I told myself though deep down I knew it to be a lie. A lie I desperately clung to because if I wasn’t that Ren, who was I now?
Someone stronger.
A shiver crawled up my spine. When had my inner voice become so haughty? I pushed off the covers and stood to get dressed. Mag stirred on her cot and turned to me.
“Good morning.” I smiled.
She rubbed her eyes and grinned. “G’morning, Princess.” Her sleepy voice came out muffled.
I yawned and stretched as she sat up and grabbed her hat. After she had fluffed it out to her satisfaction, she placed it atop her curly head. Turning my back to let her get dressed, I made my way to my own wardrobe.
We got ready in silence, my thoughts swirling inside my head. I’d grown comfortable here with my aunt. Her castle had become more of a home than I’d ever thought possible. Feylin had become more of a home. Despite the odds, I’d navigated my way and survived. Thanks to Mag, Sacha, Grimera, my aunts, and even Des. They were on my side and it felt good. To have people I could count on. People who cared. Who knew what I’d face next in the Court of Frost?
When the breakfast tray came up, I pushed away my worries and shared my food with Mag, trying to explain school life in the Outer World. She never got tired of my stories and telling them made me feel connected to my old life. Though that tether was starting to fray. I remembered bits and pieces of the past as if they were dreams. Would a day come when I forgot altogether? A knock interrupted us as we finished off the tray.
“Come in,” I answered.
The door swung open and Grimera glided in.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“Yes.” I ignored the pounding in my ears.
She trembled. Distressed. I put down my mug and watched her in concern. Fear and guilt rippled through her. Was it about Mom? My heart skipped.
Please be all right.
“What is it?” The words barely came out a whisper.
Her form wavered. “I can’t return to the White Court. Princess Aubri freed me from the Queen’s dungeons. If I go back…”
I released a breath. “Oh. But Aunt Cindra will come? And Sacha?”
She nodded. “Des and Mag as well.”
Her misty hand fell on my arm. “I’m so sorry, Renée. I should be there with you.”
I patted her shimmering form. “It’s okay, Grimera. I’ll be okay. It’s better that you stay safe and look after the Gray Court while I’m gone.”
Relief flooded around her. She pulled me into a tight embrace, making me shiver. I pushed down the sadness bubbling up. I couldn’t endanger her, but the thought of facing the King and Queen without her made me nervous. But the others would help.
A wave of power hit me and filled my lungs like a breath of fresh air. My magic. As if insisting, it play a role too. Uneasiness rocked me. So far it had helped me. Without it, I wouldn’t have survived the trials. If I wanted to succeed, I needed it.
Something like satisfaction emanated in the air around me. Fear and doubts nibbled at my resolve, but in the end, I’d have to accept this part of myself.
Live as an elf. Or die as a human.
“The carriage is waiting.” Aunt Cindra’s voice boomed from the doorway.
Mag squeaked and hurried to help Grimera and the other fae push my trunk. I met my aunt’s unreadable gaze and stiffened. As strong as she was, even she couldn’t protect me from the King and Queen. I nodded at her as if to assure her, I’d be okay. Though inside my panic swelled. I took deep breaths. One thing at a time. After I proved myself at their court, I would be allowed to be a part of the council and make decisions. About Mom. Already too much time had been wasted. We needed to go after her, and I would have to be the one to convince them.
We said goodbye to the Red Court, and I entered the carriage along with Aunt Cindra and Sacha. Des appeared a minute after, releasing his shadow magic. I stared out the window as I watched Mag scurry into a separate carriage with the luggage. My lip curled. The little brownie was my friend, and she didn’t deserve to be treated like an accessory. As many times as I tried to convince my aunt to let her ride with us, she refused.
My stomach lurched as we took off. A rush of wind echoed around us. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the flight. Grimera told me that the flight would take at least a few hours and my aunt had reassured me that we could stop in the Gray Court first and take horses if I needed to. A tempting offer, but something told me to get to the White Court quickly. Get this last trial over with. I sighed.
I was more than ready. Time to get it over with and maybe I’d finally get some answers about mom. Aesir’s words played back in my mind. The abyss opening and Mom waiting for me to join her…when the time came. All cryptic, but unavoidable warnings.
I frowned at her. “Grimera.” She’d known Grimera longer than I, but still refused to call her by name.
I nodded and placed a hand against my stomach. Not that it did any good. Nerves and paranoia wrestled for first place in my clash of emotions. Hopefully, I’d be able to keep my breakfast down. The last thing I wanted was another carriage accident. Silence permeated the space between us. Everyone caught in their own emotions and thoughts. I met Sacha’s eyes and smiled back at him. Something had changed between us, but I wasn’t sure if he realized it too. It was silly to hope for anything more than friendship and part of me felt guilty that my focus had shifted away from Mom, but I couldn’t deny what I felt. What I was sure he felt too. What it meant and where it would lead, I didn’t know.
“Renée, you must be careful when you use your magic. Don’t let her see how powerful you are.” Aunt Cindra’s voice caught my attention.
I turned to her. “But I’m not that powerful. Not like her.”
She exchanged a glance with Des, but it was Sacha that spoke.
“But you are, Princess. Your magic is a rare gift and your power is just as strong as Princess Aubri’s.”
Aunt Cindra nodded. “Don’t overplay your hand. The Queen will be watching closely. She hates weakness, but she hates others having powers she doesn’t even more.”
I sighed. “Great. So, either way, I’m screwed.”
Des snorted. Aunt Cindra glared at him. She placed her hand on my arm and searched my face. I flinched under her stare. Those yellow eyes boring into my soul.
“We will be with you. If you win this trial, she cannot hurt you. You will be recognized as a Princess of Feylin.”
“But didn’t she try to assassinate my mom?”
I shuddered. Her own daughter. What kind of monster would send assassins after their own child?
“Numerous times. And failed,” Des added.
“So, what’s to stop her from killing me even if I do win this trial?”
