Blowing out a sigh, she sank down at her kitchen table. She was falling for Jackson, she realized. Hard. She could claim she didn’t date all that she wanted, but the reality was, they were together. He came over after work, called her to see how she was, and told her he’d be gone. Hopefully she hadn’t screwed up everything by refusing to let him into her heart.
***
Three days later, Taryn sat at her laptop working. It was lonely as hell going back to her old routine, and she’d only known Jackson a few short weeks. She missed seeing him though. She missed talking to him in the evenings when he swung by after work. She missed the deep sound of his voice and even the clean, pine scent of his soap. She’d felt safe every time he’d held her, and even though they hadn’t done more than kiss, she longed for him to come back and assure her everything between them would be okay.
Could she be brave enough for a real relationship, though?
She’d find out when he got home. Whenever that was.
After scanning over an email from a potential client, she sent them a few additional design samples. She had some of her newer work up on her own website, but they’d been interested in seeing more. Some designers had large portfolios. She hadn’t put everything online for fear that Austin would somehow track her down. She didn’t think he’d paid too much attention to her college classes and work as a graphic designer, but she couldn’t be too careful.
Taryn was surprised to receive an email from them right away.
Those are fantastic! We’d be interested in a website for our new business. Can we set up a time for a phone call? What time zone are you in?
Typing a quick response, she sent the email. It was certainly easier to do things over the phone sometimes. They could discuss ideas and the project timeline before they settled on a contract.
She jumped as her phone buzzed, and then she nearly laughed for being so silly. The potential new client didn’t have her phone number. It was only Clarissa sending her a text. And even if someone did call her one day for business-related purposes, that didn’t mean it was her crazy ex-husband.
Hi! Are you doing okay?
Taryn quickly thumbed a response back.
I miss him.
She could almost see Clarissa smiling before her phone buzzed again.
I know. Want to come over for lunch?
Taryn quickly texted her back to coordinate. Lunch with a friend was just what she needed. If she admitted it to herself, she was feeling a bit down in the dumps. She missed Jackson and was feeling unsettled with how they’d left things. Plus, she’d never dealt with anything like this before. She didn’t know where he was, if he was okay, or even when he’d be home.
And who was she kidding?
If something happened to him, she’d have to rely on Clarissa or Hailey to tell her. She and Jackson weren’t married. They didn’t live together. The U.S. Navy didn’t even know she existed. Jackson had said Clarissa knew the commander and some other guys from base. Maybe she’d have an update.
Although they weren’t super close yet, she’d enjoyed getting to know her neighbor. It would be nice to have someone to talk with even if just for a little while.
Taryn made plans for a call with her potential new client later that week and finished up some other design changes she’d been working on. At noon, she grabbed the tequila and triple sec Jackson had brought that one night and headed over to Clarissa’s. They weren’t normally “day drinkers” but had agreed they’d each have a margarita and relax over lunch. They couldn’t do dinner since Clarissa had a lecture that evening, but a long lunch break would do a world of good. Clarissa had ordered some food from a local café that delivered, and Taryn was more than ready to hang out for a little while and get her mind off Jackson.
Clarissa smiled as she opened the door. “Hi! Thanks for bringing those. I’ve got plenty of limes and sugar to make margaritas. We really should get together one night for a girls’ night. The guys are gone. Maybe on Friday or Saturday if they’re not home yet? I can see if Hailey wants to come, too.”
“Yeah, that’d be fun,” Taryn agreed. “I have to admit I’ve been feeling a little lonely. It’s weird because I’m so used to being alone,” she said as she came inside. “Jackson started dropping by after work though.”
“I noticed,” Clarissa said with a smile.
Taryn flushed, not knowing quite why she felt embarrassed by his attention. Jackson liked her. She’d been nervous to pursue anything, but goodness. Now that he was gone, she missed him more than ever. She couldn’t let her fears rule her life.
“He’s sweet,” Clarissa said. “I know you just started dating or whatnot, but I can tell he cares about you.”
“We got into an argument before he left,” Taryn said with a frown as she followed Clarissa into the kitchen.
“Well, it happens. I can’t pretend Blake and I get along one hundred percent of the time. He works long hours, and I’m mostly busy in the evenings now. The weekends are when we see each other more even though we live in the same house. We’ll go hiking or camping and just get away from our day-to-day life and reconnect.”
“How’s the wedding planning coming?”
“It’s not,” she said with a laugh. “I’m pretty laid back. I bought all those bridal magazines but just kind of flipped through them. I’ll go dress shopping of course, but a casual beach wedding is fine with me.”
“I was married,” Taryn admitted.
Clarissa nearly dropped the margarita glass she was getting out of the cupboard. “You were? Wow. I had no idea. You seem so young.”
“Yeah, I am. I was. We’re divorced, but it didn’t end well.”
“Wait—that’s the guy Blake said was threatening you?”
“He told you?” Taryn asked, her mouth dropping open.
Clarissa turned to fully face her. “He did. It wasn’t to gossip or make you feel awkward or anything. Jackson was worried about you. I’m sure it’s unlikely your ex-husband would find you here—it sounds like you moved far away, right?”
“I did. I’m sorry for not saying anything.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Clarissa assured her. “We barely just started hanging out. I don’t expect to know your entire life story. I haven’t even really told you about how Blake and I met. But my point was, Jackson was worried. The guys just wanted me to know so I could help look out for anything suspicious.”
“I understand. It makes sense. It’s just embarrassing to have everyone know about what I dealt with.”
“Taryn, I was kidnapped. I hired a guide so I could do research in the Colombian rainforests and assumed I could handle myself. They killed him and kidnapped me. No one even knew I was missing. Blake and his team were there for another reason, and he literally just stumbled upon me. If they didn’t find me?” She closed her eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Taryn said quietly. “I can’t imagine.”
“We all go through crazy stuff,” Clarissa said. “Some of it is obviously worse than others. But Jackson and Blake? Those guys see it all. We don’t even know about their missions and what they deal with. I saw when they rescued me, but wow. The rest of it, I’ll never know.”
Taryn let out a breath. “I just feel silly for falling for a guy that was abusive.”
“You didn’t know, right? I’m sure he didn’t act like that all along. That’s how people like that work. They charm you into liking them and then reveal their true selves.”
“Well, no, he wasn’t always abusive,” Taryn said, watching as Clarissa grabbed some limes from the fridge and began juicing them. “He was nice at first—maybe a little bossy, but not necessarily in a bad way.”
“And he has no idea you’re here now?”
“No. I left everything behind—my apartment, my old clients, my entire life. I changed my name.”
“That was smart,” Clarissa said. “Do you have credit cards or anything he can use to track you?”
“I have one for eme
rgencies that’s still in my old name, but I don’t use it. We were divorced, but he was still stalking and threatening me. Finally, I did the only thing that I could—I ran.”
“That was so brave of you.”
“It wasn’t,” Taryn said. “I could’ve turned him in. That’s what Jackson and I argued about. He wanted me to give him Austin’s last name and the town where we lived.”
“And you wouldn’t?”
“I’d have to relive everything,” Taryn said. “I’d have to file a report with the police, tell them everything that happened. And my ex is a cop. He knows those guys.”
“Can you file a police report here?”
“I…don’t know. I’m not sure how it works, to be honest. Jackson said he’d go with me.” She let out a shaky breath. “I just feel terrible that we argued right before they left. Jackson wanted to come inside and talk more, but I asked him to leave.”
“It was after the night at the bar, right? When those guys there got in a fight?”
Taryn nodded.
“You looked terrified,” Clarissa said. “I know Jackson just wants to protect you. It’s hard for those guys to just sit back and do nothing.”
“I get it, but I also wanted him to understand it had to be my decision. I’m scared to death of Austin. It’s not so easy just to tell the police my story.”
The doorbell rang, and Clarissa glanced over. “That’s the food. I’ll be right back.”
Taryn finished making the margaritas while her friend went to the front door. She listened to her talking to the driver, and then the door shut, and Clarissa was heading back upstairs.
“I’ll text Hailey and see if she’s up for a girls’ night this weekend,” Clarissa said as she set the bags down on the kitchen table. Taryn brought the margaritas over.
“Sorry again we couldn’t do dinner,” Clarissa said.
“It’s no problem. My schedule is totally flexible. I’ve got deadlines for my client work, but I basically just work when I want to.”
“And the class?”
“I just finished the nine-week course I was taking. It wasn’t the same as a regular semester-long class. I’m not sure I’ll do any more since they’re expensive. This was online through my old college. I had a partial credit to use, so I didn’t have to pay for it.”
“Huh. Could your ex-husband track you that way?”
“I don’t see how. He knew where I was attending school. That’s where he came to stalk me after we got divorced. I’m guessing he figured I dropped out when I left town.”
“So you have your old email address and stuff?” Clarissa asked.
“The school one, yes. I changed everything for work though. I had to create a new website for my graphic design business, including a new email and name. I started from scratch. I’m slowly building up more clients again, so I hope to have a steadier stream of income.”
“That’s amazing you were able to accomplish all that.”
Taryn shrugged. “I was doing it before. I basically just started my business over. It sucks, but I did what I had to.”
“It is an accomplishment though,” Clarissa insisted. “You’re young. You should be proud of everything you’ve done for yourself.”
Taryn felt herself blushing. She admired and respected Clarissa, and it meant a lot to hear her compliment. Jackson seemed impressed with what she’d managed as well. It was nothing compared to his accomplishments in the military, but she did appreciate their support.
The two women dug into their food, sipping on their margaritas and talking.
“I guess you haven’t heard anything from Blake?” Taryn asked.
“No. We usually wouldn’t unless there was an emergency—like an injury or something. Then their commander would let me know. If they’re gone a really long time, I can try to get in touch with one of the other SEALs from base. There are a couple of teams. I don’t really know them very well though, so I don’t talk to them on a regular basis or anything.”
“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Taryn admitted. “I knew what Jackson did and that he could deploy at any time, but living it is different.”
“And they’re not usually gone for long missions,” Clarissa said. “Can you imagine having your boyfriend or girlfriend deploy for an entire year? So many military families deal with worse, so I feel like I can’t complain.”
“You’re right. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t get to see Jackson before he left. He called me from base, and I started crying. We hadn’t left things on a good note the night before.”
“I’m sorry,” Clarissa said. “That’s hard. But he called you because he cares about you. It would’ve been worse to not even hear from him at all.”
“Absolutely. I would’ve been devastated.”
“I would’ve told you they left,” Clarissa assured her.
“I know, but it would’ve hurt for Jackson not to even say goodbye.”
“You have to be strong, but I know you already are. They’ll be back before we know it, you guys will kiss and make up, and then we’ll all live happily ever after.”
“Until they leave again,” Taryn said dryly.
Clarissa took a sip of her margarita, her eyes twinkling. “Yes, but the reunions when they return are always pretty fun.”
Taryn giggled, surprising herself. She’d been terrified to ever be with a man again, but what would it be like if she ever spent the night with Jackson? To have him touch and hold her. To make love. She knew he’d take things as slowly as she needed, but wow. She hadn’t thought she’d ever get there just a few short weeks ago. Missing him this much made her realize she wanted him in her life.
Hopefully it wasn’t too late to tell him how she really felt.
Chapter 12
Jackson grumbled as the team convened in the small, cramped hut that afternoon. They’d been gone for a week and still hadn’t found the terror cell leader they were tracking across Algeria. Moving through the confined space, he looked down at the map of the region spread out across the dusty table.
“The latest intelligence from our source indicates he’s moved here,” Blake said, pointing with a gloved hand to the map.
“That’s less than two miles away. How solid is this source?” Troy asked, frowning. “Two days ago, they thought he’d fled to the other side of the country.”
Ethan crossed his arms, glancing around at the others. “We can’t very well chase him across North Africa. If the intelligence is good, let’s grab this mofo and go home.”
“The source is reliable, and the location was confirmed by signals intelligence of movement in the area,” Blake confirmed. “Commander Hutchinson has ordered us to move in tonight.”
Jackson scrubbed a hand across the stubble on his jaw as Blake gave them some additional information. He was tired and dirty after tracking this latest asshole across the desert with his teammates. Their commander had given them word a week ago that one of the most wanted terrorists in the world had been sighted here in Algeria. His team had been deployed immediately, but the mission was lasting longer than any of them wanted.
Luckily it sounded like the man hadn’t escaped. Whereas on their last op to Afghanistan, they’d lost Abdul Sayed only to nab him a few weeks later, this guy was still here. Within reach. The team would move in and eliminate one more evil jihadist from the world.
In the back of his mind, Jackson was also worried about Taryn. His gut churned at the tears he’d heard in her voice when he’d called to say he was leaving. He wished like hell he hadn’t pushed her for information on the night before their op. He’d always told himself he’d tread carefully with her. Although she hadn’t been frightened by him, clearly, she’d been upset. And that made him want to rip his own heart right out.
He hadn’t gotten to smooth things over before he’d left, and the guilt was eating at him. He’d promised he’d protect her, yet for the first op he’d been sent on after they’d met, he’d left after they’d argued.
Fucking hell.
Blake caught his eye as the others talked strategy for moving in at nightfall. “You okay, K-Bar?”
“Yep.”
“It sucks leaving your woman behind,” Blake commented.
“She’s not my woman.”
His team leader chuckled. “Sure. You’re just over there at her place every night for no reason.”
Jackson clenched his fist. “I’m not saying I don’t want her as my woman—just that she’s hesitant to get into another relationship.”
“Hesitant or not, I’d say you’re already in one. Call it whatever you want, but when you’re going over every night, spending time with her, you’re dating. A couple.”
“She was mad at me when we left,” Jackson admitted.
“Shit happens. No relationship is perfect all the time. You can’t expect it to be, either.”
“I know. I just feel guilty as hell for leaving her when we hadn’t gotten a chance to talk about things. And in the back of my mind, I’ll always be concerned knowing her asshole of an ex is out there.”
“She’s smart,” Blake said. “She was smart enough to divorce him and run. She’ll be smart enough to take care of herself now.”
“I hope you’re right. It just eats at me that I’m not there to protect her.”
“You have to trust that she’ll do the right thing. It’s hard as hell, but she’s an adult. You can’t be at her side twenty-four seven, even if you might want to be.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier though,” Jackson muttered.
“Are you two finished with your chitchat?” Ethan asked, looking over at them in annoyance. “We’ve got things to discuss.”
“Roger that, asshole,” Jackson said, glaring at him.
Blake chuckled. “You fellas got a plan? Because I’m all for sneaking in tonight and kicking some terrorist ass.”
***
Taryn’s heart jumped as her phone buzzed on the kitchen table the next morning. Given that she’d scheduled the call herself, it was a silly reaction. She needed to discuss with her potential new client what they wanted for their new website.
SEAL's Honor (Alpha SEALs Coronado Book 3) Page 12
