I just wished he’d stop that. It made me uncomfortable plus the scathing expression that had appeared on Sara’s face at one point, had been one that I remembered from many years earlier. I knew what she was capable of and I certainly didn’t want to be antagonizing her in any way.
Blake was hers and she could have him. For all I was concerned, they deserved each other! I just wanted to be left alone!
Pushing all thoughts of Blake and Sara from my mind, I focused on the lesson and felt quite proud that I was able to do the work fairly easily. Jackie, I noticed, was having difficulty, although I was quite sure it was just an attempt to gain Mr. Ryland’s attention. When he leaned towards her to point to an error she had made in her book, the manner in which she eyed him up and down, all the while twisting a lock of her blonde hair loosely around her index finger, made me want to throw up. It was clearly obvious that she thoroughly enjoyed having him so close. And I was convinced she was too busy checking him out, to concentrate on anything that he was saying.
Rolling my eyes, I gave a discreet shake of my head and looked back towards the work on the board. She was unbelievable. I just wondered how Mr. Ryland felt about it all. He’d have to be as blind as a bat, not to be aware of what was going on.
“He’s probably used to it!” Lisa had said, when I described Jackie’s behavior during our lunch break later that day. “He’s so good looking, I’m sure it happens to him all the time. Especially when there’s girls like Jackie in his class. She just can’t help herself!”
I was about to comment further on the openly inappropriate behavior that I was struggling to come to terms with, when the conversation was abruptly interrupted by Suzy, who had just received a notification on her phone about a party on the weekend. Apparently everyone in the group had been added to the event and the news quickly took priority over everything else they’d been talking about
“Chloe Henderson throws the best parties!” Beth exclaimed. And looking towards me she continued excitedly, “You have to come, Julia!”
“Yes, Julia. You’ll love it!” Lisa chimed in. “I’ll ask her to add you to the event.”
They all seemed very insistent that I should go and I felt pleased to be included.
“I don’t have a Facebook account, so I have no idea of any of the details,” I replied, reminding her of the fact that she had been bewildered by when I’d mentioned it earlier in the week.
“What? Your mom won’t let you on Facebook? That really sucks!” Lisa’s response had been evidence of her disbelief that someone our age did not use Facebook, or any other type of social media.
“I simply could not live without Facebook and Instagram!!” she had blatantly declared. It appeared that to Lisa, this was a life or death situation and I began to understand what a freak I must seem in her eyes, not to mention the others in our group.
They were all really nice to me, even though I was so different to them. They obviously thought I was a bit strange at times and this was made clear by their odd looks at various things I said or did. But good heartedly, they usually just laughed and shook their heads.
“You’re so naïve and innocent, Julia!” Lisa had said just that morning. “But don’t worry, you’ll soon learn. By hanging out with us it won’t take you long!” And with a toss of her long brown hair, she had taken off to join a group of boys sitting nearby, one of whom she had a huge crush on.
I really did just want to belong. These girls had rapidly become my friends and I was grateful to be a part of such a fun group. Looking across the grassed area where we were sitting, I noticed a girl in our grade called Amy, sitting on her own, a book in her hands as usual and totally engrossed in what she was reading. The thought of being a loner like Amy, made me shudder. But she seemed quite content with her situation. The fact that she sat on her own most of the time, didn’t seem to bother her at all. In a world of her own, filled with books and study, she appeared unaffected by what was going on around her.
Most people thought she was weird, but in a way, I envied her. She was not upset by the likes of Sara and Jackie and others like them. She didn’t appear to have the deep-seated need to fit in. Although I didn’t know what really went on in her head, on the surface she appeared to breeze through life. The usual teenage dramas that in reality were trivial and of no importance, didn’t seem to worry her. She was far more interested in her world of books and knowledge.
But that could never be me. I needed to be a part of a group and I longed for a best friend, someone I could really talk to. Thoughts of the attack the night before flashed through my mind. That was the term I was using to describe it. Even though in theory, it was only an attempted attack, it was still an attack and I desperately wished for a really close friend with whom I could share the terror I’d felt.
When I’d last spoken to Cassie on the phone she’d been totally consumed with her new boyfriend. He was all she’d wanted to talk about and when she had finally decided to take an interest in what I’d been up to, he arrived at her house to take her out on a date. With a quick goodbye, she’d promised to call me back sometime soon, but I had a feeling it might be a while before I heard from her again.
Then I thought of Millie. The relationship we had once shared had been the kind that every girl needs. BFFs forever! I still had that photo sitting on a shelf in my room and I really looked forward to her return. I wondered hopefully, if we could ever resume our special friendship.
Abruptly and with a sudden determination, I looked around the group of girls surrounding me and decided that I would go to that party on the weekend. What else did I have to look forward to? A night at home with my mom? How boring would that be! Although she probably had other plans, perhaps even with Barry.
The mere thought of that creepy man who right at that moment was in my house, made me very uneasy. I just hoped he was gone by the time I arrived home. Otherwise, I’d have to hide in my room until he left. There was something about him that I just did not like. Creepy. That was the only way I could describe the way he made me feel. And I was not at all comfortable with the interest my mother seemed to have in him.
I wished Dad was home. Then everything could become almost normal again.
Almost.
Julia Jones - The Teenage Years: Book 1- Falling Apart - A book for teenage girls Page 8
