5
Remi
“Oh gawd,” I panted as I felt Banks’ strokes getting deeper and faster.
As he lay on top of me, drilling my soppy, wet pussy, I could feel his heavy breath against my neck. It got heavier as his strokes got even more punishable.
“Ah! Fuck!” I gritted, forcing myself to take the pain because the pleasure that came with it was so worth it. I turned my head, and our lips met. As we tongue kissed, our heavy breaths intertwined with one another’s. I could feel his dick forming into concrete as he reached down, grabbed one of my heavy, thick thighs, and brought my knee to my breast, causing him to fall into my ocean even deeper.
“Ooooooh,” I cried. Literally, tears slid down my face and onto the satin pillow that I always slept on to protect my hair.
Banks continued to kiss me, tasting the saltiness of the tears that slid down my cheeks and into my mouth. He leaned to his side and, while holding my leg tightly, he started to beat this pussy into a flood of juices that spilled all over his dick.
“Aaaaaaaaaaahhh,” I screamed as I creamed. “Oh my—” He stopped my praises by lightly biting my bottom lip and grunting as he also started to cum.
Then, with a jolt, he jumped out of me, and my heart sank. For years, I had made him pull out because I refused to get pregnant if he wasn’t willing to marry me. But it had been a month and a half since he’d proposed, and he was still pulling out.
“Arrrrgh!” he grunted as he released on my stomach. I lay there, breathing heavily as he caught his breath and jacked himself until all his seed had been released. Then he reached over to the nightstand, grabbed a towel, and wiped my stomach clean.
When Banks was done, he lay beside me on his side and cuddled with me, laying his hand on my stomach.
I lightly pushed his hand away. “Stop.”
Banks giggled and squeezed the pouch sitting on top of my pelvis.
“Stop playiiiiing!” I cringed. I smacked his hand away and attempted to roll away from him.
He overpowered me, pulling me back towards him. “Don’t run away from me.”
I pouted. “Then stop. You know I hate that.”
“Then why don’t you fix it if you hate it?”
“What you mean?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Get your body snatched like all the rest of these chicks. I got the money. You can go to the Dominican Republic and come back with one of those bad-ass bodies.”
That left a lump in my throat. So, clearly, he didn’t think I had a “bad-ass body” now. He always complimented me on my ass, but that was it. I knew he didn’t appreciate the weight gain, but he clearly appreciated those chicks with “bad-ass bodies.”
“I need to lose weight first,” I forced myself to say past my embarrassment.
“Yeah, you do.”
Ouch!
I cut my eyes at him. “Damn, you didn’t have to agree so fast.”
“I mean I heard about that shit. I know you gotta lose weight before that type of surgery. Otherwise, you gon’ look big with a small stomach.”
I flinched. “Ouch!”
“What?”
I couldn’t look at him as I asked, “So, you think I’m big?” I just looked at the ceiling.
I could feel Banks staring at me, however, as he replied, “Babe, be real. You have gained weight since we got together.”
Chewing the inside of my mouth, I admitted, “You’re right. I just didn’t think you thought I was big.”
“I didn’t say big. You just gained weight.”
Now, I was embarrassingly biting on my bottom lip. “I know. I need to lose weight.”
“Then what are you waiting on?”
I cringed and decided to change the subject. “I’m waiting on my ring.” He chuckled as I went on. “What is taking them so long to size it?”
“I decided to add a few more diamonds to it. It’s coming.” He kissed my forehead.
Hearing that washed the sadness away, and it was replaced with so much joy. Then I instantly felt regret again. Banks had been so thoughtful of me. I needed to be thoughtful of him and be the woman he wanted to see every time he looked at me.
A few hours later, I was on my way to work. Along the way, I was consumed by reprimanding thoughts of how I had let myself get so big. I told myself this was it. Starting the next day, I was going on a diet. I had finally gotten my ring from Banks, and it was clear that he wanted me to lose the weight and look better. So, if he could give me what I wanted, then I was going to give him what he wanted. I was going to lose fifty pounds and then hop a flight to the Dominican and get my stomach and waist snatched. Hell, maybe I would even have my breasts done too.
As I arrived at my patient’s house, I was so determined. I should have been doing it for me, but however it was going to get done, so be it.
I got out of the car, planning my lunch for the day. If this was going to be my last day being a fat girl, I was going to max. As I approached my patient’s house and rang the bell, I started to scroll the UberEATS app for lunch options.
I decided on Five Guys just as the door started to open. On the other side of it appeared a very solemn-faced Olivia, the younger sister of Lucille, my patient. Although she was her younger sister, Olivia was in her mid-fifties, and Lucille was in her late sixties.
Olivia’s sadness was more visible than usual. Her head seemed heavy as if she could barely hold it up. Her eyes were glassed over and red.
I sighed, realizing what must have happened, and my shoulders sank. “She passed?”
As she nodded, the tears pooling in her eyes spilled out. She covered her face and began to wail. I threw my arms around her and repeated the phrase that I had said so many times in my career. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
This was customary in my career. I was a Hospice nurse, so I knew when I met patients that they soon would die. But for the ones that I grew close to, the ones whose families cooked for me, and got to know me, it never got easier.
COOP
“What are you thinking about?”
I looked over at True. She was staring at me as I stared up at the ceiling. I hadn’t even realized that she was awake.
“Retiring,” I answered.
I couldn’t believe it myself, but True had me thinking about settling down. For the last few weeks, we had been pretty tight. The man in me didn’t want her giving that pussy to someone else, so I was selfishly taking up all of her time. And for the first time in my life, I was around a woman who didn’t irk me, didn’t try to change me, and was cool as shit. Being around True made me think about my life, doing better, and being better.
She looked obviously surprised. “Retiring? From what? You ain’t got no damn job.”
I chuckled. “Fuck you. Yes, I do.”
“Mmm humph…” She giggled.
“I meant retiring from hustling.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Oh, really?”
I nodded and said simply, “Yeah.”
She rolled over onto her stomach and rested her chin in the palm of her hand, staring at me. “Retire and do what? Play golf or something?”
I bit my lip with this threatening smile on my face. “You woke up on asshole mode this morning, huh?”
“I learned from the best,” she teased.
“Nah, asshole, I ain’t gon’ play golf. I actually wanna invest my money into something. I just don’t know what.”
“What do you like to do besides hustle? What are you good at?” she pressed.
“Telling people what to do.”
“I think you would be good at opening a club.”
I shook my head as I put my hands behind my head. When I did, she cuddled up under my arm. “Nah, I wanna do something more meaningful.”
She looked up at me shockingly. “Meaningful?”
“Yes, meaningful.”
“Like what?”
“Like an after-school center… Probably just for boys. Like a safe haven in the hood.”
&nb
sp; I could feel True staring at me, so I looked down and saw her looking up at me with admiration. There was a softness in her eyes as if she was proud of me.
I had never had anybody look at me like that.
“Mommyyyy!” Suddenly, her daughter’s voice shot through the air.
“Oh shit!” True whispered in a panic as she hopped out of bed. She started to run frantically around her room looking for something to throw on.
When Joy started to wiggle the doorknob, shorty damn near pissed herself.
“No! No! No, baby!” she chanted as she ran towards the door and leaned against it. “Wait, don’t come in!”
“I’m hungryyyyy!”
“Okay,” she rushed to say. “I just woke up. Here I come.”
I chuckled as I watched True throw her robe on with panic in her eyes. She looked like she felt so guilty. It was the same look on her face that she always had whenever she let me spend the night. And I had been spending the night at her crib a lot.
Shorty was slowly changing me without even trying. It was like the more she showed me that she wasn’t like the other chicks, the more I wanted to be around her. As she left the room, squeezing through the small opening in the door she’d created so her daughter couldn’t see inside, I caught myself watching her with an admiring smile.
I was actually admiring somebody.
Shit felt weird.
And True caught me. With a quick glance before closing the door, she caught me staring and blushed. I like that blush. I liked that smile. And after a month a half, I liked that girl.
Against my own will, her simply being herself had slowly caused me to only pay attention to her, want to be around her, and only want to fuck her.
I didn’t like that feeling. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t trying to play these games.
“You okay?”
I had been staring up at the ceiling for so long that I didn’t even notice that True had come back into the room. I glanced at the door and saw that it was closed shut tight again.
True smiled bashfully and sat on the bed beside me, her robe wrapped tightly around the body I had been wreaking havoc on all night. “She’s eating cereal,” she told me. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you we fucking other people or what?”
The question had caught her off guard. Her eyes bucked slightly as regret came over her face. It was as if she was sad to see the caring dude that she had made emerge, wash away. Now the ignorant nigga she’d met had reappear.
“Huh?” she asked, though she had heard me loud and clear.
I cut my eyes at her. “You heard me. Are we still fucking other people or is it just you and me?”
She smiled at the question. Her shoulders sank. She was touched, but fuck all that, I was embarrassed that I had even asked. I stared up at the ceiling, hating that I cared to know. Besides, it was obvious. She still hadn’t let her daughter lay eyes on me, which made me think there was somebody else in her life. Any other chick would have been low key trying to make me be a father figure by now.
“Who said that I was fucking other people?” she asked, trying to front.
I cut my eyes at her again. “Bitch, please.”
Her mouth dropped as she punched me in the stomach. “Really?!”
“You know you was out there like a race car driver, burning fifty rubbers a day.”
“Asshole!” she shrieked quietly with laughter as she pinched my side.
I laughed and shrugged before I swatted her hand away. “Aye, I just wanna know if I should go fuck this other chick later on tonight.” I was trying to appear cool by fronting like I didn’t care. But I swallowed the tension that had formed in my throat out of fear that she was about to let me down.
“You play all day,” she replied as she continued to shake her head at my jokes.
“Who said I was playing?”
She stared at me, shaking her head. “The problem is I don’t know if you’re playing or not.”
I just watched her, waiting for her to finally answer the fucking question as I secretly wished she would say the right thing.
I wanted to shoot myself for actually wishing it.
She continued to stare at me too.
The seconds ticked by.
It felt like forever before True finally sighed. She looked down, avoiding my eyes, toying with the tie on her robe. “I told you that I’m not trying to commit to anybody right now.”
I didn’t want to react like this, but I couldn’t help it. I sat up, threw the covers off me, and got out of the bed. Embarrassment was causing me to run up out of there.
I could feel her eyes on me as I searched for my clothes. “Coop—”
“It’s cool,” I said, avoiding her eyes.
“Then why are you leaving?”
“I got moves to make.”
I could feel her still staring at me as I threw my clothes on. This was shorty’s second time embarrassing me. The first time was when she had the audacity to shit on me just to sit on another man’s dick. Now, she was telling me that she didn’t want to be in a relationship like I was the bitch.
I had once again let this woman embarrass me, but there wouldn’t be a next time. I had stupidly let my guard down because she was a challenge. I would laugh at my homies for doing that, and here I was being the joke.
Without looking at her, I spit, “You gon’ get your daughter out the way so she don’t see last night’s dick leaving out of her mommy’s room?”
I heard her huff and then, out of my peripheral, I saw her marching towards the door, holding her robe closed. She left out and slammed the door. I was pacing the floor. I didn’t like this; this soft shit. I needed to get out of there.
As soon as I heard her tell Joy that she could go to the back to watch TV in her room while she showered, I opened the bedroom door quietly. I peeked my head out and saw her and Joy walking down the hall. As soon as she ushered Joy into her bedroom, I crept out and left, knowing I was never going to speak to shorty again. She had this fucked up. Women begged to even be in presence, let alone have me choose them.
Shorty was gon’ learn.
TRUE
I didn’t have time for Coop’s temper tantrums. I had bigger things to deal with.
A few hours after he stormed out of my house, my heart was beating frantically as I waited for the nurse to return to the examination room. I hadn’t gone to my usual doctor. That day, I had gone to the nearest Planned Parenthood.
“Miss Jenkins?” My heart jumped as I heard the voice along with the knock on the door.
“You can come in.”
As the doorknob turned and the nurse stepped in, I felt the flutters in my stomach turn into a whirlwind, making me nauseous.
She walked in, avoiding my eyes. She sat down at the desk inside the room and finally looked at me.
I grimaced. “Just tell me.”
She lashed a half-ass smile as she replied, “You were right.”
I cringed with disappointment. “Damn.”
“You are pregnant.”
I knew. I’d felt it in my soul. This was only the second time I’d been pregnant, but I knew my body.
“Considering your circumstances, you do have options, however…”
I didn’t hear anything else. She was talking. Her mouth was moving. But I didn’t hear anything. Not one word. The overflow of thoughts in my mind was drowning out anything that lady was saying. I was pregnant by Coop, and, considering how he had snuck out of my house without saying anything else to me earlier that morning, I knew his mean, spiteful ass had no plans on ever speaking to me again.
An hour later, I was at my mother’s house to pick up Joy. As soon as I told her the news, she was mortified.
“No!” she spoke firmly, seemingly more mortified than I was.
“Mama,” I pleaded for her to agree with this.
She sat at her dining room table, looking at me in pure disbelief. “You can’t.”
I had already been shunning her
to her own house because I was spending so much time at mine with Coop. Now, this? My mother was horrified for me.
“Why not?” I asked her, because as a matter of fact, I was not mortified at all. After sitting with knowing that I was pregnant for an hour in my spot in the parking lot at Planned Parenthood and realizing that finally, my body had life in it, I felt like I had no choice, despite my circumstances, to have this baby.
“Don’t you think you’re going through enough?” my mother asked.
It was bad timing, super bad timing. But after learning I was pregnant, I realized I was happy. For once in a very long time, I had some good news, something to look forward to.
“I want to give this to you,” I told her as I sat down at the table next to her. “You’ve been saying you wanted another grandbaby for so long.”
“True…” She didn’t have any more words. She just looked at me and shook her head in disbelief.
“I need to do this, Mama,” I pleaded with her.
She bit her lip in frustration. Then her nails clawed at the table as if she was reaching for some stability. “It might make matters worse.”
“I talked to the doctor about that. It won’t.” My mother still wasn’t convinced. With her lips pressed together, she shook her head slowly as I begged for her support. “Let me do this for you.”
“For me?” she asked. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“But I do. That’s all I do. This will bring you some joy, us some joy. So, I am going to do this, Mama.”
She stared at me long and hard. I smiled and reached for her hand and lovingly laid my hand over it.
“Fine,” she snapped, giving in. “But if you are going to have this baby, then you need to move in with me.”
“Mamaaa!” I whined.
“You need to anyway.”
“Mama, I already told you. After all of this, I need to at least have my freedom and my own space. I can’t have nothing else, so I at least want this all to play out in my own space.”
“Fine.” She silenced with a sigh as she held my hand that lay on top of hers.
When My Soul Met A Thug Page 7
