“It is honorable to help those in need, but I also see how it would have compromised their time with you and your biological siblings.”
“Mostly it was good for us. It taught us how to share and revealed how fortunate we were to have a loving family. So many had little or nothing. But I was the oldest, so a lot of the extra work fell on me. In a lot of ways I feel like I never had a childhood. I was a built-in babysitter and my parents had no problem taking advantage of the convenience.”
“Having so many children in their lives was your parents’ decision, not yours. It was unfair for them to force the responsibilities on you. That must have been horribly frustrating.”
“It was. It also left me longing for something entirely my own. I know that sounds selfish, maybe even petty, but I never had my own bedroom. Most of my clothes were secondhand. We weren’t poor, exactly. There were just so many places for the money to go, so many mouths to feed, and bodies to clothe. By the time I turned eighteen, I couldn’t wait to leave.”
He caught a lock of her long, dark hair and wrapped it around his finger. “How did you make your living once you left your parents’ home?”
If he wanted to talk, why had he dragged her onto his lap? She wanted to kiss him and wrap her legs around his waist so she could rub against him. “I work at an animal hospital. My upbringing left me with a need to help others. I chose animals and their caregivers.”
That seemed to surprise him. “Did Isolaund know this when she gave you the cub?”
She shook her head. “I told Arrista, but it was after we left Isolaund.”
He leaned forward slowly and her heart thudded in anticipation, but he angled away from her face and whispered in her ear. “You didn’t answer my original question. Why did you volunteer to mate with a rebel?”
Damn it. He was doing it on purpose, making her desperate for his kiss. Well, two could play that game! “I was getting there.” She wiggled closer, lightly pressing her breasts against his chest as she pushed one hand into his hair. “Because I left home so early, all I’d ever been able to afford were the basic necessities, tiny apartment, old beat-up car. I never went anywhere fun or did anything exciting. And my romances were about as memorable as everything else in my life. The transformation program was a chance to experience something new and extraordinary. And completely mine.”
A sexy smile slowly parted his lips and desire made his purple phitons shimmer. “None of that has changed. You just got a little more adventure than you expected. We want the same things, a partner in life, someone to share our hopes and dreams, maybe children someday. Do you really want to return to your boring existence on Earth?”
She thought about her shabby apartment and nonexistent social life. She liked her job, found it rewarding. But work was supposed to enrich her other interests, enable her to live life to the fullest. The problem was, she didn’t have anything in her life but work.
One of his brawny arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her even closer. “You’re already restless, so I suspect this is going to hit you hard. Don’t be afraid of the intensity. I won’t take advantage. I promise.”
She found his words odd and arrogant, until his mouth locked onto hers.
Chapter Four
Sara tensed, uncertainty holding her hostage for one breathless heartbeat. Xorran’s lips were warm and surprisingly gentle. He’d made contact with obvious intent, then backed off and leashed his aggressive impulses. As soon as she’d learned they were compatible, this had been inevitable. The pull only amplified attraction. If she wasn’t attracted to him naturally, there would be no reaction to his pheromones. The trouble was, she knew damn well she was attracted to him. She liked his slow, secretive smile and quiet intensity, had already learned to depend on his strength. She felt safe with him, secure in a way she’d longed for all her life. Did she dare bring sexual hunger into the mix? Did she want to make herself that vulnerable?
He didn’t give her long to debate. His lips caressed hers, tongue softly teasing until she opened, silently inviting him inside. Still, he advanced slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away. His tongue gently pushed into her mouth, spreading his taste and mixing his breath with hers. She shivered, then moaned as tingling heat cascaded through her body. Her nipples peaked and her core clenched. The restlessness building inside her suddenly flared into focused desire.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding firmly to his muscular back. He angled his head, taking the kiss deeper. Their tongues slid and curved, caressing as they learned the other’s taste and texture. He tugged her shirt out from her pants and splayed his fingers across her bare skin. His hands were so large, he spanned her back. Still, she wasn’t frightened by his size or strength. Rodyte males protected their females. Instinct and honor prevented them from doing anything that would harm...
And yet the Outcasts had kidnapped her, taken her from the only world she’d ever known. Was that not harmful? She had a family and friends that were doubtlessly worried about her. Surrendering to Xorran rewarded the Outcasts for their outrageous behavior. Stubborn resistance filled her heart. She’d be damned before she gave them what they wanted, what they’d taken without permission.
She eased her hands between their bodies and pushed against his chest. “No,” she said firmly, but her voice shook, ruining the effect. “I will not be a slave to my body. I do not want this.”
He lifted her off his lap and set her back on her side of the blankets. “No means no, even on alien planets.” But a wily gleam in his eyes warned that the battle of wills was far from over. “Get some sleep. The construction crews will return shortly after dawn, which means we need to build some sort of enclosure before then.”
Her pulse still raced and her mind whirled, but she nodded and lay down. She curled up on her side, back to him. They’d only kissed for a moment, so why was her skin still tingling? Her core ached, and her breasts felt heavy, the tips sensitized.
Closing her eyes, she willed away the pulsing need. This isn’t real. It’s not natural. The reminder did little to ease the cravings. She wanted him to lie down behind her and push her pants to her knees. Then he could ease his cock between her thighs and fill her core, make her shiver and moan as he rocked in and out of her body. He’d hold her tight as he claimed her, keep her safe and secure while they established a connection that would last a lifetime and beyond. She wanted it, needed it.
This was ridiculous! All he’d done was kiss her.
She heard him moving around and saw the light fade through her eyelids. She opened her eyes to a darkness broken only by thin hints of moonlight streaming through uneven boards. His body heat faded and she feared he’d moved away, perhaps even left the room. Turning her head sharply, she saw the outline of his big body behind her. He lay on his back, arms raised, hands tucked under his head. Every part of his body lay just out of reach.
“Is it this hard for you?” she whispered, resenting his apparent calm.
“Give me your hand and I’ll let you feel for yourself.” The challenge in his tone was tempered by a hint of humor.
Turning back around, she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on her breathing. This was how it started, how they gradually eroded the will of a rational female and turned her into a mindless slave. The melodramatic thought made her smile. Most of her cabin mates were now bonded, so Sara had watched the progression three different times. Jillian had been first. She was young and naive, so no one was surprised when she fell for one of the guards. But Lily was mature, logical, an independent career woman with no interest in a mate. So when she fell for Arton, the enigmatic harbinger, everyone was shocked. They weren’t even genetically compatible, and still Arton found a way to win Lily’s heart. Then Thea accepted the claim of Rex, the charming smuggler who worked for the Outcasts, and Sara began to wonder if there was something about Rodyte males that was irresistible to human females. Thea was still grieving the loss of her family, and Sara had been sure nothing and no one would
be able to penetrate the emotional walls she’d built around her heart. But Rex accomplished the impossible, and they both seemed thrilled with the result.
Sara sighed, struggling to find a comfortable position on the hard floor. This rambling review of past events wasn’t helping her relax. Oblivion was the only escape she had from this hunger, yet the persistent ache was making it impossible to sleep.
“Talk to me,” Xorran suggested. “Let’s think about something other than the pull.”
She didn’t want to talk, she wanted to strip off her clothes and crawl on top of him. Instead, she swallowed hard and forced her vocal cords to work. “I can’t think of a subject that doesn’t involve sex.”
He chuckled. “Then talk about sex. How old were you when you shared pleasure for the first time?”
A memory stirred, but it barely penetrated the sensations pulsing through her body. So much had happened since she left Earth. She didn’t even feel like the same person any more. “There wasn’t a lot of pleasure involved. Neither of us knew what the hell we were doing.” After an awkward pause, she added, “I was seventeen.”
“I beat you by a year, and my first time was equally disappointing.”
“Well, you certainly know how to kiss,” she whispered, shivering at the memory. “I presume you’ve acquired other skills over time.”
“I’d be happy to demonstrate.”
She smiled, but didn’t feed his ego. “My second lover was very different from my first. His name was David. We were together for almost two years. I honestly thought it would last much longer.”
“Why did the relationship end?”
There was a tension in his voice that hadn’t been there before, so she chose her words carefully. “He finished his training and moved back home so he could open his own practice. Ended up marrying his childhood sweetheart. I was a college fling. I just didn’t know it at the time.”
“What sort of practice? Did you also attend this college?”
“David was training to be a veterinarian when I met him, and no, we didn’t go to the same college. He went to a private university, while I got a certificate from a local trade school. That should have been my first clue that he wasn’t taking me seriously. Trust fund snobs don’t marry local riffraff. We’re good enough to bone, but not to marry.”
He placed his hand on her hip, but made no other move to touch her. Heat sank through her uniform pants, feeding the restlessness. “Many of those words are unfamiliar, but I recognize your tone. Battle born sons are frequently treated with derision and made to feel worthless. This man was not better than you just because he had wealth. You are kindhearted and ambitious, intelligent and beautiful. You have accomplished much despite the disadvantages of your upbringing. If I may borrow an Earth phrase, screw him.”
She smiled, knowing he couldn’t see her. Then she realized she hadn’t really finished the story. “Anyway, David was doing a sort of residency at the animal hospital where I worked. When it was over, he went back to his ‘real’ life and left me behind.”
“That must have hurt you deeply.” After a long, silent pause, he asked, “Do you still have feelings for this male?”
“Not even a little. The end came without warning. He sent me an email explaining why he broke it off. The cowardly way he left made getting over him a whole lot easier. All I regret is the wasted years.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you.” He slid his hand up her side and touched her hair, just a hint of a caress, then he pulled away. “How many serious relationships have you entered into since?”
She immediately missed the hint of intimacy, the physical connection of his hand on her body. “David was as close as I ever got. After him, I decided romance wasn’t worth the trouble and focused on my job. Animals are easier to love than most humans.”
“Makes me glad I’m not one.”
She laughed. “A human or an animal?”
“Either. Both. Though I’m feeling rather animalistic right now. You better keep talking.”
His warning sent a ripple of heat passing through her body. He wasn’t even touching her now. Maybe that was the problem. He scooted closer. She could feel his body heat along her back and down her legs, but he still didn’t touch her.
“How long ago was the breakup?” he prompted.
“Almost four years.”
“You haven’t shared pleasure in four years?” He sounded incredulous. “Isn’t that unusual for humans?”
“I didn’t say I never had sex. I said I haven’t bothered with a serious relationship. I don’t sleep around, but I flirt, and sometimes that flirting leads to...sharing pleasure.” Silence fell, making her feel awkward and alone. Was he angry? She knew Rodyte males could be territorial, but he’d asked her to talk about this. “What about you? How many females have you shared pleasure with? Have all your lovers been female?”
He suddenly rolled her onto her back. His gaze gleamed in the dimness, purple phitons starting to glow. “Are you mocking me?”
“No. You seem annoyed by my honesty. I thought it only fair that you reciprocate.”
“I’ve had seven sexual partners, and yes they were all female.” He slipped his arm beneath her neck and placed his other hand on her belly. “And I’m not annoyed. I’m jealous. Thinking of you with anyone else makes me want to inflict bodily harm.”
“On me?” she gasped.
“Never! I will never harm you and anyone who tries to must come through me.”
“Why?” His reaction seemed melodramatic, almost silly. “You barely know me.”
“I know your scent and your taste. There is no doubt you are my mate, the one female with whom I am meant to spend the rest of my life.”
“I’m a potential mate. That’s very different. One is like winning the lottery. The other is like being handed a ticket for the lottery. There are still a lot of obstacles between you and the prize.”
“Challenge accepted.” His tone roughened and his fingers pressed into her flesh, not hurting, just making her more aware of his touch. “You are an incredible prize, so I will gladly undertake each task and navigate each obstacle.”
He was so adorably serious that it made her smile. “Well, lover boy, the first obstacle is getting us both to sleep. Any suggestions?”
A wicked smile parted his lips, his teeth barely visible in the darkness. “Let me touch you, Sara. I’ll make you come so many times you’ll have no choice but to sleep.”
She shivered and tingles branched out from her spine. “We both need to sleep. I’m pretty sure that won’t make you sleepy.”
He leaned down and kissed each corner of her mouth. “It would be well worth it.”
She couldn’t believe she was even considering it, but her body ached and it had been a very long time since she’d felt anything resembling passion. “Answer me honestly. Will this help or make the cravings worse?”
“I will never lie to you.” He was so sincere it sounded like a vow. “The pull will subside for a time, but the urgency will return and continue to intensify until I claim you, or another male ignites a hunger even more demanding than this.”
Her eyes widened and she stilled. “Is that even possible? I’m going insane right now.”
He grinned, clearly pleased by her admission. “The pull’s intensity is determined by the strength of our natural attraction. I find you extremely pleasing, so my need is nearly overwhelming.”
There was no need for him to spell out that the same was true with her. She was experiencing the phenomenon right now. Still, each woman who gave in made it that much harder for the others to resist. Somehow the Outcasts had to be taught that their actions were dead wrong.
His gaze narrowed and tension returned to his voice. “What are you thinking about? I thought you didn’t want a mate.”
“I don’t know what I want,” she cried. “This is so unfair! I made a conscious decision to participate in a daring program back on Earth. It was risky and a little scary, but I was still i
n control. Instead, I was taken half a galaxy away from my home, my family and friends. The situations might be similar, but they are not the same.”
“You’re right.” He rolled to his back and carefully withdrew his arm from beneath her neck. “You told me you’re not willing to be courted. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
She indulged in a humorless laugh, finding his reaction absurd. “It’s a little late for regrets. That train already left the station.”
Rolling back to his side, he propped his head on his hand. “What are you saying? Do you want me to touch you are not?”
“I want a lot of things all at once. How the hell am I supposed to decide?”
“You’ve already decided.” He lightly touched the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her lips. “Speak the words. Tell me what you want.”
She closed her eyes, hating these sorts of games. David loved making her beg. She’d always found it infuriating rather than sexy.
“It’s not a power play, love. I need to know you’re willing.”
Relieved that she’d misunderstood, she opened her eyes and whispered, “Yes. God, yes. Touch me. I need your touch.”
“Who am I?” The light in his eyes flared, the intensity demanding an answer.
My mate. The words popped uninvited into her mind. “Xorran,” she said firmly, refusing to acknowledge the claim he was trying to establish. She still had serious doubts about allowing him to court her, but she couldn’t think clearly about anything until the cravings subsided.
Slowly, he lowered his face, gaze boring into hers. Time paused, trapping her in the moment and narrowing reality to Xorran and her. His warm breath stirred against her lips, his scent slowly filling her nose. He was strong and handsome, smart and kind. And he offered security and a sense of belonging that she’d longed for all her life. Why was she so afraid of making the promise reality?
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