The Complete Tommy and Tuppence

by Agatha Christie

  ‘Stop,’ said Tommy, ‘that’s enough. And what had they heard?’

  ‘That’s more difficult,’ said Tuppence, ‘but I think one can get round to it. They’d heard certain places mentioned or stories told and they were very, very anxious to partake of the joys of what we had clearly come to do here.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘To discover something important. Something that’s well known to be hidden here.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Tommy. ‘Hidden. Hidden how, where and when?’

  ‘Different stories about all those three,’ said Tuppence, ‘but it’s exciting, you must admit, Tommy.’

  Tommy said thoughtfully that perhaps it was.

  ‘It ties in with old Isaac,’ said Tuppence. ‘I think Isaac must have known quite a lot of things which he could have told us.’

  ‘And you think that Clarence and–what’s this one’s name again?’

  ‘I’ll remember it in a minute,’ said Tuppence. ‘I got so confused with all the other people he’d heard things from. The ones with the grand names like Algernon and the ones with the ordinary names like Jimmy and Johnny and Mike.

  ‘Chuck,’ said Tuppence suddenly.

  ‘Chuck what?’ asked Tommy.

  ‘No. I didn’t mean it that way. I think that’s his name. The boy, I mean. Chuck.’

  ‘It seems a very odd name.’

  ‘His real name is Henry but I expect his friends call him Chuck.’

  ‘Like Chuck goes the weasel.’

  ‘Pop goes the weasel, you mean.’

  ‘Well, I know that’s correct. But Chuck goes the weasel sounds much the same.’

  ‘Oh Tommy, what I really want to say to you is that we’ve got to go on with this, specially now. Do you feel the same?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Tommy.

  ‘Well, I thought perhaps you did. Not that you’ve said anything. But we’ve got to go on with it and I’ll tell you why. Mainly because of Isaac. Isaac. Somebody killed him. They killed him because he knew something. He knew something that might have been dangerous to somebody. And we’ve got to find out who the person was it would be dangerous to.’

  ‘You don’t think,’ said Tommy, ‘that it’s just–oh, one of those things. You know, hooliganism or whatever they call it. You know, people go out and want to do people in and don’t care who the people are, but they prefer them to be elderly and not to be able to put up any kind of a resistance.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Tuppence, ‘in a way I do mean that. But–I don’t think it was that. I think there is something, I don’t know if hidden is the right word, there’s something here. Something that throws light on something that happened in the past, something that someone left here or put here or gave to someone to keep here who has since died or put it somewhere. But something that someone doesn’t want discovered. Isaac knew it and they must have been afraid he’d tell us because word’s evidently going round now about us. You know, that we’re famous anti-espionage people or whatever you call it. We’ve got a reputation for that sort of thing. And it’s tied up in a way, you see, with Mary Jordan and all the rest of it.’

  ‘Mary Jordan,’ said Tommy, ‘did not die a natural death.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Tuppence, ‘and old Isaac was killed. We’ve got to find out who killed him and why. Otherwise–’

  ‘You’ve got to be careful,’ said Tommy, ‘you’ve got to be careful of yourself, Tuppence. If anyone killed Isaac because he thought he was going to talk about things in the past that he’d heard about, someone may be only too pleased to wait in a dark corner for you one night and do the same thing. They wouldn’t think there’d be any worry about it, they’d just think people would say: “Oh another of those things.”’

  ‘When old ladies are hit on the head and done in,’ said Tuppence. ‘Yes, quite so. That’s the unfortunate result of having grey hair and walking with a slight arthritic limp. Of course I must be fair game for anyone. I shall look after myself. Do you think I ought to carry a small pistol about with me?’

  ‘No,’ said Tommy, ‘certainly not.’

  ‘Why? Do you think I’d make some mistake with it?’

  ‘Well, I think you might trip over the root of a tree. You know you’re always falling down. And then you might shoot yourself instead of just using the pistol for protection.’

  ‘Oh, you don’t really think I’d do anything stupid like that, do you?’ said Tuppence.

  ‘Yes, I do,’ said Tommy. ‘I’m sure you’re quite capable of it.’

  ‘I could carry a flick knife,’ said Tuppence.

  ‘I shouldn’t carry anything at all,’ said Tommy. ‘I should just go about looking innocent and talking about gardening. Say, perhaps, we’re not sure we like the house and we have plans for going to live elsewhere. That’s what I suggest.’

  ‘Who’ve I got to say that to?’

  ‘Oh, almost anyone,’ said Tommy. ‘It’ll get round.’

  ‘Things always get round,’ said Tuppence. ‘Quite a place here for things getting round. Are you going to say the same things, Tommy?’

  ‘Well, roughly. Say, perhaps, that we don’t like the house as much as we thought we did.’

  ‘But you want to go on, too, don’t you?’ said Tuppence.

  ‘Yes,’ said Tommy. ‘I’m embroiled all right.’

  ‘Have you thought how to set about it?’

  ‘Go on doing what I’m doing at present. What about you, Tuppence? Have you got any plans?’

  ‘Not quite yet,’ said Tuppence. ‘I’ve got a few ideas. I can get a bit more out of–what did I say his name was?’

  ‘First Henry–then Clarence.’

  Chapter 9

  Junior Brigade

  Having seen Tommy depart for London, Tuppence was wandering vaguely round the house trying to single out some particular activity which might yield successful results. However, her brain did not seem to be full of bright ideas this morning.

  With the general feeling of one returning to the beginning, she climbed up to the book-room and walked round it vaguely, looking at the titles of various volumes. Children’s books, lots of children’s books, but really one couldn’t go any farther than that, could one? She had gone as far as anyone could already. By now she was almost certain that she had looked at every single book in this particular room; Alexander Parkinson had not revealed any more of his secrets.

  She was standing there running her fingers through her hair, frowning and kicking at a bottom shelf of theological works whose bindings were nearly all of them scaling away from the books, when Albert came up.

  ‘Someone as wants to see you downstairs, madam.’

  ‘What do you mean by someone?’ said Tuppence. ‘Anyone I know?’

  ‘I dunno. Shouldn’t think so. Boys they are, mainly. Boys and a girl or two all in a hump. Spect they want a subscription for something or other.’

  ‘Oh. They didn’t give any names or say anything?’

  ‘Oh, one of them did. Said he was Clarence and you’d know all about him.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Tuppence. ‘Clarence.’ She considered for a moment.

  Was this the fruit from yesterday? Anyway, it could do no harm to follow it up.

  ‘Is the other boy here too? The one I was talking to yesterday in the garden?’

  ‘Don’t know. They all look much alike. Dirty, you know, and all the rest of it.’

  ‘Oh well,’ said Tuppence, ‘I’ll come down.’

  When she had reached the ground floor she turned enquiringly to her guide.

  Albert said, ‘Oh, I didn’t let them come into the house. Wouldn’t be safe, I think. Never know what you might lose, these days. They’re out in the garden. They said to tell you they was by the gold-mine.’

  ‘They was by the what?’ asked Tuppence.

  ‘The gold-mine.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Tuppence.

  ‘What way would that be?’

  Tuppence pointed.

  ‘Past the rose garden, and then right
by the dahlia walk. I think I know. There’s a sort of water thing there. I don’t know if it’s a brook or a canal or has once been a pond that has had goldfish in it. Anyway, give me my gumboots and I’d better take my mackintosh as well in case someone pushes me into it.’

  ‘I should put it on if I was you, ma’am, it’s going to rain presently.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Tuppence. ‘Rain, rain. Always rain.’

  She went out and came fairly quickly to what seemed to be a considerable deputation waiting for her. There were, she thought, about ten or twelve of assorted ages, mainly boys flanked by two long-haired girls, all looking rather excited. One of them said in a shrill voice as Tuppence approached:

  ‘Here she comes! Here she is. Now then, who’s going to speak? Go on, George, you’d better talk. You’re the one as always talks.’

  ‘Well, you’re not going to now. I’m going to talk,’ said Clarence.

  ‘You shut up, Clarrie. You know your voice is weak. It makes you cough if you talk.’

  ‘Now look here, this is my show. I–’

  ‘Good morning, all,’ said Tuppence, breaking in. ‘You’ve come to see me about something, have you? What is it?’

  ‘Got something for you, we have,’ said Clarence. ‘Information. That’s what you’re after, isn’t it?’

  ‘It depends,’ said Tuppence. ‘What kind of information?’

  ‘Oh, not information about nowadays. All long ago.’

  ‘Historical information,’ said one of the girls, who appeared to be the intellectual chief of the group. ‘Most interesting if you’re doing research into the past.’

  ‘I see,’ said Tuppence, concealing the fact that she did not see. ‘What’s this place here?’

  ‘It’s a gold-mine.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Tuppence. ‘Any gold in it?’

  She looked about her.

  ‘Well, really, it’s a goldfish pool,’ explained one of the boys. ‘Used to be goldfish in it once, you know. Special ones with lots of tails, from Japan or somewhere. Oh, wonderful it used to be. That was in old Mrs Forrester’s time. That’s–oh, that’s ten years ago.’

  ‘Twenty-four years ago,’ said one of the girls.

  ‘Sixty years ago,’ said a very small voice, ‘every bit of sixty years ago. Lots of goldfish there were. Ever so many. Said to be valuable, they was. They used to die sometimes. Sometimes they ate each other, sometimes they were just lying on top, floating about, you know.’

  ‘Well,’ said Tuppence, ‘what do you want to tell me about them? There are no goldfish to see here now.’

  ‘No. It’s information,’ said the intellectual girl.

  A large outbreak of voices occurred. Tuppence waved her hand.

  ‘Not all at once,’ she said. ‘One or two speak at a time. What’s all this about?’

  ‘Something perhaps you ought to know about where things was hidden once. Hidden once and said to be very important.’

  ‘And how do you know about them?’ said Tuppence.

  This provoked a chorus of replies. It was not very easy to hear everyone at once.

  ‘It was Janie.’

  ‘It was Janie’s Uncle Ben,’ said one voice.

  ‘No, it wasn’t. It was Harry, it was…Yes, it was Harry. Harry’s cousin Tom…Much younger than that. It was his grandmother told him and his grandmother had been told by Josh. Yes. I don’t know who Josh was. I think Josh was her husband…No, he wasn’t her husband, he was her uncle.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Tuppence.

  She looked over the gesticulating crowd and picked out a choice.

  ‘Clarence,’ she said. ‘You’re Clarence, aren’t you? Your friend told me about you. You, well what do you know and what’s it all about?’

  ‘Well, if you want to find out you’ve got to go to the PPC.’

  ‘Go to the what?’ said Tuppence.

  ‘The PPC.’

  ‘What’s the PPC?’

  ‘Don’t you know? Hasn’t anyone told you? PPC is the Pensioners’ Palace Club.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Tuppence, ‘that sounds very grand.’

  ‘It isn’t grand at all,’ said one boy of about nine. ‘It isn’t grand a bit. It’s only old age pensioners saying things and getting together. Pack of lies, some people say they tell about things they knew. You know, knew in the last war and knew after it. Oh, all sorts of things they say.’

  ‘Where is this PPC?’ asked Tuppence.

  ‘Oh, it’s along at the end of the village. Half-way to Morton Cross, it is. If you’re a pensioner you get a ticket for it and you go there and you have bingo and you have all sorts of things there. It’s quite fun, it is. Oh, some of them are very old. Some of them are deaf and blind and everything else. But they all–well, they like getting together, you know.’

  ‘Well, I should like to pay a visit to it,’ said Tuppence. ‘Certainly. Is there any particular time one goes there?’

  ‘Well, any time you like, I suppose, but the afternoon would be a good time, you know. Yes. That’s when they can say they’ve got a friend coming–if they’ve got a friend coming they get extra things for tea, you know. Biscuits sometimes, with sugar on. And crisps sometimes. Things like that. What did you say, Fred?’

  Fred took a step forward. He gave a somewhat pompous bow to Tuppence.

  ‘I shall be very happy,’ he said, ‘to escort you. Shall we say about half past three this afternoon?’

  ‘Ah, be yourself,’ said Clarence. ‘Don’t go talking like that.’

  ‘I shall be very pleased to come,’ said Tuppence. She looked at the water. ‘I can’t help being rather sorry that there aren’t any goldfish any more.’

  ‘You ought to have seen the ones with five tails. Wonderful, they was. Somebody’s dog fell in here once. Mrs Faggett’s, it was.’

  He was contradicted. ‘No it wasn’t. It was somebody else, her name was Follyo, not Fagot–’

  ‘It was Foliatt and it was spelt with a plain f. Not a capital letter.’

  ‘Ah, don’t be silly. It was someone quite different. It was that Miss French, that was. Two small ffs she spelt it with.’

  ‘Did the dog drown?’ asked Tuppence.

  ‘No, he didn’t drown. He was only a puppy, you see, and his mother was upset and she went along and she pulled at Miss French’s dress. Miss Isabel was in the orchard picking apples and the mother dog pulled at her dress and Miss Isabel she come along and she saw the puppy drowning and she jumped right into this here and pulled it out. Wet through, she was, and the dress she was wearing was never fit for wearing again.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ said Tuppence, ‘what a lot of things seem to have gone on here. All right,’ she said, ‘I’ll be ready this afternoon. Perhaps two or three of you would come for me and take me to this Pensioners’ Palace Club.’

  ‘What three? Who’s going to come?’

  Uproar happened immediately.

  ‘I’m coming…No, I’m not…No, Betty is…No, Betty shan’t come. Betty went the other day. I mean, she went to the cinema party the other day. She can’t go again.’

  ‘Well, settle it between you,’ said Tuppence, ‘and come here at half past three.’

  ‘I hope you’ll find it interesting,’ said Clarence.

  ‘It will be of historical interest,’ said the intellectual girl firmly.

  ‘Oh, shut up, Janet!’ said Clarence. He turned to Tuppence. ‘She’s always like that,’ he said, ‘Janet is. She goes to grammar school, that’s why. She boasts about it, see? A comprehensive wasn’t good enough for her and her parents made a fuss and now she’s at grammar school. That’s why she goes on like this all the time.’

  II

  Tuppence wondered, as she finished her lunch, whether the events of the morning would produce any sequel. Would anybody really come to escort her this afternoon and take her to the PPC? Was there any such thing really as the PPC or was it a nickname of some kind that the children had invented? Anyway, it might be fun, Tuppence thought, to sit wa
iting in case someone came.

  However, the deputation was punctual to the minute. At half past three the bell rang, Tuppence rose from her seat by the fire, clapped a hat upon her head–an indiarubber hat because she thought it would probably rain–and Albert appeared to escort her to the front door.’

  ‘Not going to let you go with just anyone,’ he breathed into her ear.

  ‘Look here, Albert,’ whispered Tuppence, ‘is there really such a place as the PPC here?’

  ‘I thought that had something to do with visiting cards,’ said Albert, who was always prone to show his complete knowledge of social customs. ‘You know, what you leave on people when you’re going away or when you’re arriving, I’m not sure which.’

  ‘I think it’s something to do with pensioners.’

  ‘Oh yes, they’ve got a sort of a place. Yes. Built just two or three years ago, I think it was. You know, it’s just down after you pass the rectory and then you turn right and you see it. It’s rather an ugly building, but it’s nice for the old folk and any who like can go meeting there. They have games and things, and there’s a lot of ladies goes and helps with things. Gets up concerts and–sort of–well, rather like, you know, Women’s Institute. Only it’s specially for the elderly people. They’re all very, very old, and most of them deaf.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Tuppence, ‘yes. It sounded rather like that.’

  The front door opened. Janet, by reason of her intellectual superiority, stood there first. Behind her was Clarence, and behind him was a tall boy with a squint who appeared to answer to the name of Bert.

  ‘Good afternoon, Mrs Beresford,’ said Janet. ‘Everybody is so pleased that you are coming. I think perhaps you’d better take an umbrella, the weather forecast was not very good today.’

  ‘I’ve got to go that way anyway,’ said Albert, ‘so I’ll come with you a short part of it.’

  Certainly, Tuppence thought, Albert was always very protective. Perhaps just as well, but she did not think that either Janet, Bert or Clarence was likely to be a danger to her. The walk took about twenty minutes. When the red building was reached they went through the gate, up to the door and were received by a stout woman of about seventy.