by AJ Newman
Kat said, “Stop. Jason, you’re a great guy, and any woman would love to be yours. I do. I know you don’t care for me like I do for you, but I’m willing to play along to … Damn, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want you to show them they hurt you.”
“I do care for you, Kat. It’s just that I might care for you too much. I’m only used to one night stands and friends with benefits. You’re special and deserve to be treated special. I don’t know if I’m able to do that,” I said as I watched her eyes water.
I pulled her close and hugged her for a while. “Kat, I don’t want any other woman in my life. I’m just not ready to be what you need.”
I kissed her on the top of the head, picked her up, and laid her on the bed. I sat in the rocker next to the bed and tried in vain to sleep.
Later, Mom poked her head in and thought we were asleep. I opened my eyes and looked up at her. She said, “You two had better be getting married after you get back from finding your…,” she stopped in midsentence and realized we weren’t in bed together. She said, “I thought you two were a couple. Why are you sitting in a chair beside her?”
“Mom, I care for her a lot, but I’m not ready to commit to any woman right now,” I said as I stroked Kat’s hair.
“Jason, she looks at you like you hung the moon and stars. Is she a good person?”
“Yes, Mom, she’s wonderful. She’s smart, good-natured, and a hard worker. She’s also stubborn, opinionated, and drives me crazy at times.”
Mom looked at me and said, “Sounds like love to me.”
“Mom, that’s not helping me move away from her.”
“Son, it’s obvious to everyone else that you love her. Why fight it?”
Being outmatched and outgunned, I changed the subject. “Do you think I can find Michael? That’s a lot of territory between here and St. Louis.”
“Your Dad will be going with you. If anyone can find him, you two can. Please don’t take Kat with you when you leave. I’d like to get to know her.”
Thank God, Kat woke up and heard Mom because I didn’t want Kat to go along with me. Kat hugged Mom. “Mrs. Walker, I’d like to stay with you and get to know Jason’s family and friends, but Jason needs me to protect him.”
“You’re sharing a room with my son, so I guess you need to call me Mom. Jason says you’re good at surviving and you saved his butt several times. I’d like you to be my personal guard while Jason and his father are gone. Please?”
Kat looked at me. “Jason?”
I replied, “As much as I like your company, you need the rest, and Mom needs the protection.”
“I guess your dad can watch your back while I stay with Mom.”
My only thought was, “Oh crap! This is starting to backfire on me. I’ll be married and have six kids if Mom and Kat get together and plot against me!”
***
Tina’s smell was strong and made MMax want to find her. He whined to get his human’s attention, but Jason couldn’t hear him over the din of the other humans. MMax heard Tina bark and was very happy to see her again. He looked up at Jason and begged to join her. He was soon rewarded with the command to go. He ran to her, and they ran and romped for a short time. They were quickly exhausted and lay together in the barn. MMax licked Tina’s muzzle and loved being close to her. He’d been with Jason and on missions since he was only a few months old and had never had the company of other dogs. He was happy.
☆
Chapter 16
The Walker place, Walter Hill, Tennessee.
MMax and Tina lay in the barn for several hours resting and then slept for a short time until the wind shifted. The odor hit MMax’s nose like a sledgehammer. He could never forget that vile odor from the evil one. He stood up and left the barn. MMax looked around the area to the north and found the smell came from a stand of trees on a hillside. He started to go find the evil one, but Tina blocked him and licked his face.
MMax led Tina to the house and barked until the nice lady let Tina and him into the home. He whined outside his human’s door, but the nice lady told him to be quiet. He wanted Jason to go with him to kill the evil one. It wouldn’t happen that night.
***
Mom served a great breakfast, and all of us pitched small table scraps to MMax and Tina. Mom said, “Your dog is very smart and well behaved. He wanted in your room last night, but I told him to give Kat and you some alone time, and he went to sleep in our room.”
I felt terrible because, for the second time in years, I hadn’t thought about my best friend. I had been preoccupied with Kat. MMax had spent the evening with Tina, so I knew he wasn’t lonely. I just hoped he was better with women than I had been over the years.
Kat was busy stuffing her face but said, “MMax is the best dog ever. He’s becoming my best friend. Well, besides Jason.”
Mom stared as Kat shoveled another biscuit and jelly into her mouth. I noticed she was in awe of how much the girl could eat. “Mom, Kat lost a lot of weight when she was captured a few months back and says she’s trying to regain her lost weight. I think she just likes good home cooking. I’ve never seen her eat like this before.”
MMax placed his head in her lap and begged for another piece of bacon.
Everyone asked Jason and Kat about their adventures, and they told them everything except how gruesome the children were killed. Most appreciated the hard decisions Jason and Kat had made on fighting back and killing people. However, Sister Joan was aghast at the killings. She couldn’t wrap her head around the need to kill to survive. Kat started to mention a tough guy who Jason had dealt with, she said, “and Jason …”
Sister Joan slapped her hands to her head. “Stop! Killing is sinful and murder! I have to get away from this!” she said as she stormed out the door and across the field to the woods.
Kat started to follow her, but Father James stopped her. “Give her time. She has to deal with her beliefs for a while before I give her counseling.”
Later that night, we sent a search party out to find Sister Joan without success. The prevailing thought was that she had simply walked away to find peace from all the killing. Dad and I knew she would probably be dead or captured by FEMA in a few days. No one wanted to sacrifice their lives to mount a major search.
Dad was thrilled to see the old tools I’d found on the way home. He was beside himself when Kat gave him the handful of books on woodworking using the antique tools. “Thanks so much for the tools. We’ll need them to rebuild our way of life. I have something to show you.”
Mom said, “Let’s let the men play with their tools while I take you around and introduce you to everyone.”
They left with Mom towing a reluctant Kat away from the barn. Dad took me to his workshop and proudly showed me what he had accomplished since the lights went out. I was surprised to see a shaft running across the ceiling, anchored in bearings every two feet. There were several pulleys spaced out along the metal shaft. Dad pointed to an ancient hit and miss engine on the far end of the shop on the floor. It had a belt going from a round, shiny thing on the engine to the shaft above.
I walked over to the engine. “Dad, what’s that thing with the pulley attached to it?”
“Son that thing is a centrifugal clutch from a golf cart. You can’t just start the engine and let her rip. That would burn my drive belts as the pulleys slipped.”
“That was a stroke of genius.”
Dad chuckled and said, “I saw this arrangement on one of those PBS shows on how old-timers made furniture. They had a steam engine and a set of clutches similar to what a car has. I don’t have metalworking tools, so I improvised. That reminds me, we need to scavenge for more clutches and other items to make more of these Rube Goldberg machines. I want to expand by generating electricity and metalworking.”
Dad showed me how one belt turned a drill fast enough to drill steel or wood. He had grinders, lathes, and saws powered by this maze of pulleys. OSHA would have shut him down in a skinny minute.
That is, if they still existed.
I thought for a few minutes. “Dad, don’t we need to get some old trucks and cars working? I remember a cartoon about Hillbillies up in Kentucky who had a truck up on blocks that had a belt running from a wheel rim to a sawmill. A truck engine would have a lot more power than an old putt-putt engine.”
Dad slapped me on the back. “That’s why I keep you around! Well, besides killing bad guys and other hero stuff.”
“Thanks for the compliment. Hey, when are we leaving to find Michael and his family?”
“I’m surprised you want to leave that beautiful young lady here alone after what happened with Karen.”
That was a sore topic, and I started to smart off to my dad but thought better of it. “Dad, Karen and I never meant much to each other. Oh, I liked her and wanted to pursue a relationship but oh well…”
“Son, what about Kat? You seem to have mixed emotions about her.”
I shook my head and played with the stubble on my chin. “I think you described my dilemma. Kat loves me, and I’m warming up to her. Maria was only friends with benefits, and I had stopped seeing her before TSHTF. I started caring for Karen and her kids, so I tried not to get attached to Kat. Karen is a mature woman where Kat is still kinda immature and impetuous. Do you get what I’m saying?”
“I do. You want Kat for fun and Karen to settle down with because you want a partner in life that is closer to your own mental maturity. Well, grow up. Karen is with Murph, and you have a young woman who adores you. I’ll bet Kat would have never given up on you and moved on to another man. That’s all I have to say about that.”
“Thanks for the advice. Now, when are we leaving?”
Dad spent the next two days, making sure everyone knew what to do in his absence. He took Maria off to the side and asked her to focus on their survival and place her love life on hold during her stints at guard duty. His talk with Pete wasn’t so polite, and Pete left promising to never be caught with his pants down again.
Both Karen and Maria tried to catch me alone, but I made sure I either avoided them or had Kat clinging to me. I never said it aloud, but I felt betrayed by Karen and jealous of Murph. Murph did ask man-to-man to discuss the situation. We talked, and I let him off the hook. I told him I was now with Kat and that Karen had thought I died. I added that Karen was a great lady, and he should be proud that she would have anything to do with the likes of him. It made him feel better; me, not so much.
The two days passed quickly, and I avoided sleeping in the bed with Kat. The chair wasn’t comfortable, but I’d slept well in worse conditions. Kat walked back from the bathroom with a robe on. She closed the door behind her and dropped her robe to the ground. My eyes bugged out as she lay down on the bed and looked so inviting.
I dressed quickly when she asked me to join her. Tears came to her eyes, and then she started blubbering. “You only want Karen, don’t you?”
I placed my hand on her shoulder and said, “No, I want you.”
“Then get in bed with me, now.”
“No, I can’t. Kat, I’m not a good person, and you need to move on and find a man worthy of you.”
Through the tears, I heard, “I don’t care what’s bugging you. I want you to love me and be with me.”
“I can’t,” I said and left the room. I walked down the hall and passed my mom on the way to the barn. Mom stopped me. She said, “You know your dad, and I heard every word of that conversation.”
“Oh, crap!”
“Son, what do you mean by you’re not a good person?”
I hadn’t discussed the worst day of my life with anyone but Maria since it had happened two years ago. “Mom, maybe one day I’ll be able to talk about it. All I have to say is I did something stupid and got three of my buddies killed and four others wounded. No one but Maria and I know how much we fouled up. Please don’t ask. I’ll sleep in the barn. Mom, help her move on and introduce her to a good guy who will take care of her.”
“Jason. Jason! Get your butt back here,” Mom said as I walked out the back door to the barn.
The next morning, Dad and I saddled our horses and prepared to leave. Kat didn’t come out of her room. Mom hadn’t spoken to me all morning, other than to say good morning and pass the gravy. Now, I had two of the women I cared for ready to skin me alive. I tried not to piss my sister off that morning, so at least there would be one woman happy to see me when … well, if I returned.
Dad and I said goodbye to everyone and were ready to mount our horses when Kat burst from the house, ran to me, and launched herself into the air. She knocked me back into my horse as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. She almost started a small stampede when my horse was startled. She kissed me about ten times in five seconds and whispered in my ears. “Jason, I love you, and I don’t care what happened in your past. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back. I’m not Karen.”
She kissed me again, and I got carried away and kissed her passionately. Yeah, crap. In ten seconds, everything I did to run her off was ruined by one careless moment of lust. I’m sure glad Dad and I were leaving, or I would have carried her to the bedroom.
MMax was by Kat’s side as I stuck my foot in the stirrup. “Come on, MMax. Let’s go.”
He looked up at Kat, and she dropped to her knees and hugged him. I had to say, “Heel,” before he joined me beside my horse. I think my dog had fallen for Kat. I looked back and smiled at Kat and Mom. Mom punched Kat in the arm, and they both hugged. I wondered what the heck that was about but had other things on my mind that day.
I need to retrain MMax and show him who his boss was. He trotted beside us as we rode away. I felt sorry for him every now and then and placed him across my lap to rest. I think he preferred to walk but laid in my lap just to please me. MMax, Dad, and I had started on a much larger adventure than we ever would have guessed. I’ll never forget leaving or the welcome I received when we came back.
Of course, Dad started pumping me for the reason why I didn’t think I was a good person. I told him that I would tell him the whole story, but only if he didn’t tell anyone, even Mom. Darn those thin walls at Dad’s home.
Okay, that’s all the mushy stuff for now. It’s time to get back to finding my brother, traveling to new places, and killing bad guys. Something I’m good at doing. I look back at what I’ve written about my early days, and even I realize that I’d be piss poor at writing a romance novel. The mushy stuff happened, and I think I’d be remiss in not sharing the stuff that’s fit to print. Of course, I left off the juiciest parts because my friends and wife might actually read this manuscript one day. Now, back to finding my brother and his family.
On Highway 24 heading to Nashville, TN
“Dad, we have as much a chance of finding Michael as a blind man in a paintball fight. Is this just a way to get Mom off your back?”
“Our chances are better than you think. Michael called me about three o’clock in the afternoon before the crap hit the fan. He said they were leaving then and should arrive before midnight. I think he made it at least to just north of Nashville. He would be on Highway 24, so we need to go the way he would travel and count on a bit of luck to find him.”
My mouth opened before my brain engaged. “Well, that makes me feel better. We only have around a hundred miles of I 24, and a million miles of backroads, dirt roads, and cow paths to search.”
The silence was unnerving. Dad stopped his horse and stared at me. “Did that worthless but obvious statement make you feel better?”
The words I uttered were very feeble. “No, sir.”
“Do you think they made me feel better?”
“No, sir.”
Dad smiled, “Now that you got that constipated thought out of your anal canal, can we continue our search for your brother, or do you want us to sit under a shade tree waiting for your mom to think that we’ve been out long enough and go home without Michael?”
Dad took a deep breath and waited for me to say somethin
g stupid. “Dad, you know I’ll search for my brother until the world ends …”
Dad gave the time out sign. “Son, poor choice of words. Go on.”
“I won’t stop until we find him, or die trying. I just was stating the odds of ever seeing him again.”
“Thanks for clarifying. Son, I don’t want to trade one son’s life for another, but we can’t quit before we start. Now let’s move on and keep an eye out for obvious signs that Michael might have left for us to find.”
Again, that 10-watt lightbulb flickered in my brain. “Dad, do you think Michael remembered what you said about when you’re lost in the woods to leave signs in the trees to point the direction you’re traveling?”
“You remembered, and Michael will also.”
I started to open my mouth and say, “What if a thousand other fathers taught their kids the same thing?”
As though he read my mind, Dad said, “Most people won’t use beer cans to point the way.”
I thought, “Damn, he’s good at this father stuff. I hope to be as good as him with my kids.”
We planned to travel all the way to Grand Rivers on Highway 24 looking for Michael or signs that he had left. The going was slow due to the need to keep a low profile and hide from people. We couldn’t ride at night if we wanted to watch for signs that my brother had left, but moving during daylight was much more dangerous. Most people we encountered were harmless and just trying to get by day-to-day. Several groups begged for food, but Dad turned them away. One small group wanted one of our horses to eat.
Dad said, “Sorry, these horses are our only means of transportation. Don’t you have gardens?”
“No, that’s too much work. We’ll take both your horses if you don’t give us one.”
