by Angie West
***
The morning dawned clear and bright. Ashley and I went through our usual morning routine with a chipper efficiency that belied our mostly sleepless night. A quick breakfast of cold cereal, a cup of juice for her, a mug of strong coffee for me, and we were out the door en route to start our respective days. I was smiling as I walked through the heavy lead glass doors of LanTech Corp after depositing Ashley at school. If I had my way, our routine would be changing soon.
I’d been keeping a secret from my family for weeks, and for the time being, it would stay that way.
The big news? I was expecting to get a call from the human resource department of Plant and Herb. The widely circulated magazine was looking for a new columnist with my background and qualifications. My first interview had taken place two weeks ago, followed by a lengthy second interview a short three days later. By all appearances, it looked like the job would be mine if I still wanted it. I smothered a grin.
There was no way I wouldn’t jump at the chance to work for Plant and Herb. It was a tremendous opportunity; only a complete idiot would pass on it, and I’d always prided myself on my common sense.
The hours were the biggest selling point. My position would be salaried with an independent contractor’s flexible hours. It would allow me to stay home with Ashley about three days a week, plus weekends. What could possibly be better than a two day work week? How about a pay raise? Plant and Herb was talking about a full twenty percent pay increase from my current position at LanTech. To my way of thinking, it would be a win-win situation. I had been thinking about making some changes for the better part of the past year. Ashley was a huge motivating factor in my decision to re-prioritize and restructure my life.
Mike and I had returned from Terlain with her a year ago. Since then a lot had changed for me.
Ashley and I had fought hard to overcome a ton of obstacles in order to have the lives we had today. The first in our year-long string of battles came in the form of her legal adoption. Even though I went into the adoption process knowing full well that it wouldn’t be easy, I was unprepared for the turmoil that ensued.
Adoption is a difficult process under the best of circumstances; it’s nearly impossible when the child has no identification. No birth certificate, no social security number, no finger or foot print on file anywhere. The fact that I was a single woman who worked a full-time job did not reassure the state that I was the best possible caregiver for Ashley.
Those first weeks were the hardest to bear. Child and family services placed Ashley in a foster home while the police made every effort to find the family of the little girl my brother and I “found” while on vacation. Ashley, Mike, and I were interviewed repeatedly during that time. Our answers were consistent, and Ashley, bless her, would only tell the police that her parents had died a long time ago, and that I had found her wandering near the woods.
For the most part, what Ashley had said was true. Her parents were dead and I had found her in the woods. After that, things became a bit more complicated. At any rate, Ashley didn’t have to spend much time in the temporary home before a judge ordered her returned to my custody. There were regular home visits and more questions and interviews, but finally, eight months later, the adoption was officially finalized.
Of course, we had settled into a routine long before the final paper was signed, stamped, and sealed.
Still, having that piece of paper was a weight off my shoulders. Mike and I felt bad about having to lie to the rest of the family about Ashley’s background, even though we both understood it was completely necessary to do so. We consoled ourselves with the knowledge that our lie had little to do with Ashley herself. She was a beautiful, healthy, intelligent, and lovable little girl, no matter where she may have come from.
Now, finally, she was a little girl with a big, loving family. My parents had accepted her unconditionally from the start. Both of them had proven to be wonderful grandparents. They spent a lot of time with Ashley, and much of that time was spent doting on the girl. They weren’t just willing to spend time with their new grandchild. They relished the chance to spend time with her. Their devotion to my daughter never failed to bring tears to my eyes. Since the day I’d brought her home, they had instantly taken to her and her to them. Not a single week had gone by in the past year where my parents had not visited Ashley or at least called her on the phone.
My brother was another regular visitor in our home and an important figure in Ashley’s life. Ashley absolutely adored her uncle Mike. The feeling was definitely mutual. He was fiercely protective of her, often reminding the rest of us of a mother hen.
Megan had bonded with Ashley on a level that, while personal, was not quite to the depth of our parents and Mike. The two were close, but unfortunately were unable to spend much time together. Ashley spent maybe one day each month with her Aunt Megan, though to be fair, Megan’s work schedule was the polar opposite of Ashley’s school schedule. That too was about to change.
My sister had remarried six months ago; their first child was due in October, only a few short months away. To the family’s collective relief, Megan’s obstetrician had ordered her to take her maternity leave of absence now. There was no immediate threat to Megan or the baby. In fact, Megan had sailed through the bulk of her pregnancy with ease. She hadn’t suffered the fatigue or the nausea that seemed to plague so many pregnant women. In Megan’s case, that was actually the problem. She hadn’t experienced any of the body’s typical responses telling her to slow her daily pace, so she hadn’t. With her son’s birth looming closer, she was starting to swell through her legs, and the doctor—not to mention the rest of us—was becoming increasingly concerned.
Today would be Megan’s last day at work for the next six to eight months. While she was less than thrilled with the prospect, her husband Juan was immensely relieved, and I was ecstatic. We would finally have the time to get some serious baby shopping done, plus the nursery still needed to be decorated. I could hardly wait for my nephew to be born. I imagined all of the fun we would have together, Ashley and little Aaron and me. Best of all, if I’d managed to snag the Plant and Herb job, I would be able to split babysitting duties with my parents. I absolutely loved babies, and there was no question that Ashley would benefit from having another child around.
She was very well behaved both at home and at school, but she tended to keep to herself. A lot of the time she seemed unsure how to act around other children, and large groups of children or adults seemed to overwhelm her. As much as it broke my heart to see her struggle with anything, I had to remind myself that things could have been much worse. I may not have known much about what her life had been like before Mike and I found her, but I knew a little about how harsh life could be in Terlain. And life for an orphan in Terlain? I shuddered. The reality was grim at best. It was a miracle that the child had not suffered more trauma than she had. Hell, the fact that she was alive was a miracle. I had a lot to be thankful for, I realized. I had a great family, a beautiful daughter who was healing a little each day, a nice house, and a good job. So what if there was one thing that would always be missing?
