by Lisa Edmonds
“Believe me, I know. I’ve spent the last five years trying to hide who I am from vampires, cabals, harnads, and anyone else who would love to own me. Now that Moses knows, it’s probably only a matter of time before the vamps do, too—if they don’t already.”
“If they knew, wouldn’t they have made a move?” Sean asked.
I sighed. “You would think so, but with Valas, who knows? She rarely does what I expect. They do want powerful mages, though. I heard a rumor several of the nulls the Court held as collateral are now working for the Court. Supposedly it’s of their own free will, but it’s hard to know for sure.” I shrugged. “They probably figured it was either work for the Court or risk getting snapped up by Moses, so they opted for the lesser of two evils.”
“We figured Monroe had an ulterior motive for his proposal to hold half of the nulls as collateral. Obviously, it was recruitment.” He rubbed my back. “Did you talk to Natalie?”
I nodded. “She’s sad she didn’t get to say goodbye to Jana and Aden, but she’s very relieved to hear they’re going to be safe. We made plans to meet for lunch soon.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He laced our fingers together. “By the way, I got a message from the realtor this morning about the farmhouse. There was a higher offer than ours.”
My heart sank. “Well, that’s not surprising, I guess. We knew it was going to be a tough one to get.”
“However,” he continued, “that buyer retracted their offer, so the house is ours, if we want it.”
When I didn’t reply, he added, “What’s wrong? Did you change your mind about the house?”
I looked up into his softly glowing eyes and ran my fingers over his bristly cheek. Shifter magic surged as the wolf within him responded to my touch. “Can I tell you a story?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“About five years ago, there was a girl—let’s call her Ava.” I took a deep breath. “She was hiding out in an abandoned building in Chicago, living off the little bit of money she made reading tarot cards in a park and panhandling. She’d been there a few weeks and she was getting desperate, more certain every minute that she’d be found. She was hungry and scared and alone, but it was still the best her life had ever been, if you can believe it. Even those days felt like a gift—a gift that could be taken away at any moment.”
He rubbed my back slowly, waiting.
“One night Ava went down to the building’s basement, where she’d been sleeping in a little hidden room, and found a dead girl at the foot of the stairs. She’d come there to shoot up. Maybe what she took was bad; maybe she took too much. Either way, by the time Ava found her, she was already cold. She’d died all alone down there.”
A lump formed in my throat at the memory, still so vivid after five years. “In her pocket was a key to a Mercedes and in the Mercedes was a purse with an ID, a bunch of credit cards, and some cash. The dead girl’s name was Alice. Ava noticed she and Alice were about the same height, with long dark hair and dark brown eyes. She realized even if all she could get from this was enough cash to get farther from Baltimore, it was the best gift she’d ever been given. Ava was so desperate, she stole Alice’s money and her car. And then, with the help of a mage plastic surgeon whose family had been slaughtered by a cabal, she stole her life.”
I swallowed hard. “I used my air magic to turn her body to ash. I collected the ash in a little box and buried it in a park, under a tree near a creek. She’s in an unmarked grave. That’s who I am, Sean. I’m the girl who was capable of discarding another person’s remains so I could steal her life.” I gripped his hand tightly. “The rest I’m sure you know. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Alice Worth disappeared for a month, then showed up clean and sober. She sold the house her parents left her and her Mercedes, packed a couple of suitcases, and moved to California to start over as a mage PI in a city two thousand miles away from everyone who’d ever known her.”
Tears ran down my face. He rested his chin on my head. We lay quietly for a while.
“I’m not sure anything I can say will heal this,” he said finally. “I could tell you that you had nothing to do with her death, but you already know that. I could say you treated her remains with as much respect as you were able to, given the circumstances, and you gave her a burial in the most beautiful place you could find. Some wounds are so deep that it takes a long time for them to heal and there’s nothing anyone can say or do to make the pain go away any faster. In my heart I don’t believe you did anything wrong, but I also know you believe you did, so I won’t try to tell you that you shouldn’t feel badly for it.”
He gently wiped away my tears. “But here’s what I do know: every life you’ve saved is a gift you’ve given someone and all the people who love them. That doesn’t undo the past, but it sure as hell counts for a lot.”
Sean was right; knowing all that hadn’t made it possible for me to forgive myself for what I’d done, but maybe time would ease the guilt and pain.
I took a deep, shaky breath. “Moses isn’t going to let us be. Bell’s dead. My grandfather has Nora as his lieutenant now. They’ll be here, in this city, watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike.”
“He has his people, we have ours.” He kissed the tip of my nose and glanced at the sky. “Speaking of our people, we’ll have company soon. Sunset’s in an hour and the entire pack will be here any minute. If you’re comfortable, no one will mind if you’re naked, since we’re all a bunch of werewolves.”
“I know, but I’m not quite at the point where I’m ready for that. I’ll get dressed in a minute. Just let me know if you hear a car coming.” I snuggled back against his side.
He rubbed his bristly chin on my head. His wolf was just beneath his skin and feeling a little possessive, apparently. This was the first time I’d come to the pack land to see them shift and run as wolves on a full moon night.
The wind picked up, rustling in the grass and in the trees. A flock of birds flew overhead, heading west toward the setting sun.
“I love you,” I said.
I heard his smile in his voice when he replied, “I know.”
I sat on a blanket near Sean’s truck, wrapped in a smaller blanket and listening to the far-off yips and howls of the Tomb Mountain Pack wolves as they ran, hunted, fought, and played under the full moon.
I’d brought my phone and laptop so I could get caught up on some paperwork, but both lay untouched on my bag next to me. The paperwork would still be there tomorrow. The night was much too perfect and peaceful for me to spend it staring at spreadsheets.
I leaned back against the truck and looked up at the moon. Somewhere under this same moon, my biological father Daniel might be running as a wolf tonight, if we were right and he was a shifter. I wondered if he had a pack, and if so, where he fit in its hierarchy.
I also wondered if Moses had any inkling of who my biological father might be. If so, that would mean Daniel was in imminent danger. My growing desire to find him and find out the truth might just have become urgent.
I thought about the shifter magic in my blood. I’d wondered if I would feel something tonight—like the urge to shift—when the moon rose, but I hadn’t. What I did feel was the kinship of the pack as they gathered here as they did every full moon, talking and laughing while they waited for everyone to arrive. I didn’t have pack bonds with the others, but I sensed something new when they were near. It took me a while to figure out what it was: belonging. I had a place here, something I’d never had before. It was wonderful, and worth fighting for.
The only members of the pack who knew what had happened last night were Sean, Ben, and Jack—and Casey, because Sean had allowed Ben to tell her. For now, only Sean knew I was Moses Murphy’s granddaughter. Sean and I had to carefully consider how much to tell the others and when.
The pack had been in wolf form for about six hours and would still be in wolf form until sunrise. Sean had the day off, so I stayed awake, enjoying the quiet a
nd the moonlight and looking forward to sleeping the day away in his arms.
My bracelet buzzed. Malcolm had been at my house, keeping an eye on things and evaluating what it would take to disassemble my extensive wards once we were ready to move, but I’d told him he was welcome to visit me during the night if he got bored.
I touched the crystal on my bracelet. “Release.”
Malcolm appeared beside me. He was almost back to full power after last night’s efforts. “Hey, Alice.” He turned to look out over the field. “It’s so peaceful. They’re all out there?”
“Yep.” In the distance, one of the wolves howled and the others answered. I smiled. Sean, rallying the pack in a declaration of solidarity and togetherness under the full moon. I got up and stretched. “How are things back at the house?”
“Quiet. The Vamp Court still has someone guarding the place.” He floated up to look in the back of the truck. “Wait, is that a mattress? Wow, I guess it’s true what they say about werewolves being extra frisky on the full moon, huh?”
I put my hands on my hips. “The mattress and spending the afternoon out here were my ideas, thank you very much.” And yes, it was definitely true; I had light bite marks on my shoulders and thighs—and a few other places—to prove it, but I kept that to myself.
“Well, it was a beautiful day for afternoon delights, I’ll give you that.” He floated back over to me. “Let me guess: it doesn’t bother Sean one bit that you’re Murphy’s granddaughter, does it?” He crossed his arms and looked smug.
I scowled. “I swear, if you say I told you so, so help me I will—”
He laughed. “Okay, I won’t. You’ve been through enough in the last twenty-four hours. You don’t need to hear how right I was on top of all that.” His smile faded. “In all seriousness, how are you holding up?”
I leaned against the side of the truck and rubbed my face. “It’s hard to accept and process that Moses found me and you and Sean know who I am. I feel really vulnerable in so many ways, emotionally and physically. I’m not used to feeling like this. I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“Well, for starters, think about the fact you’re a freakin’ badass. Then add up how many people you’ve got on your team. Multiply that by our badass-ness.” He waved his hands. “Why do you think Moses took Ben hostage last night? Because he knew you could take him out, Alice. He talked big, sure, but actions speak louder than words. He tried to shake your confidence with threats and by trying to fly off with Ben. Those are not the actions of a man who is supremely confident in getting what he wants. You knew him before, so compare how he acted last night with what you remember from back in the day. Am I right or am I right?”
“Maybe. Malcolm…” My voice trailed off.
He floated close. “Hey. Sean doesn’t care who you were or what you did. I double don’t care. If anyone can understand what you went though, it’s me. A lot of what you’ve said and done since we met makes a hell of a lot more sense now, but that’s all this news means to me. I was Team Alice before and I’m still Team Alice now.” He paused. “Unless you’d like us to call you Ava.”
I shook my head. “I’m not Ava anymore. She’s not dead, but she’s the past. I can’t help but think the Alice I’ve been playing is the past too—not the name, maybe, but that person. If that’s the case, though, who am I now? Who am I becoming?”
“That third person Carly talked about: the person you want to be. You’ve been in a holding pattern for five years, waiting for this to happen so you could confront the past and start building your future. I’m sure it’s scary as hell—new chapters always are—but now you can move forward.”
I made a face. “More personal growth?”
“Yup. Hey, you remember what I said to you the night Sean went to have dinner with Lily’s dad, about how getting all those secrets off your chest would feel good?”
“Yes.”
“Well, does it?”
Despite how vulnerable I felt, I did feel lighter and more free. The walls separating me from Sean and Malcolm were almost gone. Those walls had been a prison more than anything else, and the safety I’d thought they offered had only been an illusion.
“It does feel good,” I confessed. “Scary, but good.”
He grinned. “I’m gonna say it.”
“Malcolm…” I sighed. “Fine, you can say it.”
“I told you so.” He floated back and forth. “So, hey…I went back out to the bordello earlier today.”
My eyebrows went up. “You didn’t tell me you were going out there. What did you see?”
“There’s a crew tearing down what’s left of the conservatory. Some guards around the property, but no sign of Moses or Nora or anyone else I recognized.”
“Is the house badly damaged?” If it had just been a house Moses owned, I would have been glad for it to have burned to the ground, but the ghosts didn’t deserve to be displaced, especially if they were connected to the house.
He shook his head. “Not badly at all, actually. My shield that protected us from the fire helped protect the house too. It’s got some damage on that exterior wall, but nothing that can’t be easily repaired.”
“Well, thanks for checking on the place for me. I appreciate it.”
He hesitated. “That’s not why I went out there, actually.”
I blinked. “Okay, I’ll bite: why’d you go out there?”
“Yesterday, while I was there talking to the ghosts, I met someone.”
“Met someone? As in met someone met someone?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, as in met someone met someone. His name is Liam.”
“Liam is a ghost,” I said, just to make sure I was following.
“Yes, Liam is a ghost,” he said patiently. “He helped me rally the troops, I guess you could say, and then asked me to come back sometime when we weren’t fighting mage wars in the backyard and trying to burn the house down.”
“Any idea why there are so many ghosts there?”
“It’s actually a pretty cool story. Liam explained that back when the bordello was first built, the madam was the head of a coven of witches, and most of the ladies who worked there were part of the coven. There was a grove of trees out behind the house where they had their sacred circle. There’s also a heavy electromagnetic concentration and frequent disturbances there, creating a nexus of power and possibly a portal. Ghosts are drawn to it like moths to a flame.”
I frowned. “I don’t remember seeing any trees near the house, only the ones way down the hill.”
“That’s because in the forties, after the bordello got shut down and the house was sold to a private owner, they cut the trees down to build an addition on the house. The trees had absorbed a lot of nexus energy and the power of the sacred circle, so ghosts continue to be drawn to the house by the power. It’s just about wall-to-wall spirits in there.”
“Wow, that is cool,” I said, impressed. “So that’s how Liam ended up in the house?”
“Not exactly. He worked for the bordello in its heyday. The place offered a full range of options, apparently. And he was part of the original coven too. When he passed away of influenza, his spirit stayed at the house and he’s been there ever since.”
“So you two met yesterday while you were recruiting ghosts to the cause and hit it off?”
“Yeah.” He smiled sheepishly. “I mean, it’s not love at first sight or anything, but he’s cute and funny and because of the energy in the house, he’s still sane and not going wraith. As long as he spends most of his time there, he’ll be around a while.”
“Well, I’d love to meet him. Sean and I have to go to the Vampire Court gala tomorrow night, but maybe the next evening you could bring him over to the house.”
Malcolm looked startled. “Really?”
“Yes, really. The man worked in a brothel and then haunted it for decades. I bet he has the best stories.” I smiled. “I’m happy for you, Malcolm.”
The back of my neck prick
led in warning. I spotted a brown wolf about twenty feet away near the tree line, watching me with her tail high and body erect. When our eyes met, her ears went back and she showed her teeth.
“Hello, Delia,” I said.
She growled low.
Today was the first time I’d seen Delia since the pack meeting and Caleb’s death. Like Jack, she was quiet, withdrawn, and noticeably grieving. They’d arrived fifteen minutes before sunset, in an apparent attempt to minimize interacting with the others or me. Jack had greeted me, but Delia stayed away, accepting condolences and touches from others before quietly removing her clothes and putting them in their truck in preparation for shifting. I didn’t need pack bonds to sense her anger and pain.
“Do you want me to go get Sean?” Malcolm asked quietly.
I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the wolf. “No. This is between Delia and me.”
The wolf and I watched each other for a while. Finally, she approached, growling quietly, and stopped about ten feet away.
“Do you think she put Caleb up to it?” Malcolm asked.
“I did at first,” I admitted. “When you told me that by all rights I should have become a full-fledged member of Sean’s pack, I certainly thought she might have given him the idea. After all, if I’d been Changed, even if she still didn’t like me, she might have been willing to live with it if at least I was a shifter. She couldn’t have known I’d be able to burn the virus from my body.”
“But Caleb was so angry, there’s no way he would have been able to just bite you,” Malcolm pointed out. “He went out there to kill you so you’d no longer be a threat to Delia or a problem for the pack.”
“I know.”
