by Gabby Fawkes
I paused. What was this word? This name, this Tala, almost like…
Oh God.
My wings gave way. I fell, plummeting down scores of feet.
I hadn’t... I couldn’t…
The last thing I saw, before my body hit the ground, were the flames engulfing all that I’d done.
30
I awoke to night. Memory.
Screaming. Horrified faces. Smoke. Fire. Death.
My fire. My… wait, what had I done?
Trembling overtook me. Then, more memories. More faces, voices.
Axel’s: “I tried to warn her, if she didn’t practice…”
Artemis’: “Even if she does practice, isn’t there still a chance?”
His again, “Only the wildest dragons can’t control their impulses and are forced to live alone.”
I sat up with a jolt.
“Tala,” Axel said, emerging from the gloom.
I stumbled out of my bed.
“You okay?” he said, his hands gentle on my arms. “Don’t worry about your friends, they’re…”
I pushed him away. “Give me a minute.”
Axel didn’t move. Furious tears sprang to my eyes.
“I’m serious,” I shrilled. “I just need to walk. To think. Alone.”
“You’re not well-”
“I’m fine,” I snarled, and stormed outside without another word.
Thankfully, he didn’t follow me. I’d always hated people seeing me cry. And I really did need some time anyway. To think.
Had he really just been waiting in my timple for me to wake up? Had it been to look after me – or to make sure I didn’t go on another violent rampage?
For a few minutes, I walked through the field, numb to everything. Even a tree I saw with fist-shaped bashes in it didn’t register.
It seemed like yesterday had happened to someone else. Like someone else had turned into a dragon and terrorized the DSA. Someone else had again let down Jer and her friends…
My friends.
I stopped.
What exactly had happened to my friends? Obviously, they were okay, Axel had just about said as much. But did that include Jeremy?
My foot stepped forward half-heartedly. Part of me wanted to keep going. To walk as far as I could from everything. Away from finding out the full horrible extent of what I’d done. But I couldn’t. Not until I knew what had happened to Jer.
I struggled to remember back to my fiery rampage, but all I remembered was a bear struggling to get through the glass. That didn’t mean… I hadn’t…
I swung around, hurrying back the way I came. I had to get back to Axel. Find out the truth.
But I was forced to halt as someone came in front of me, blocking my way.
“Want company?” Hades said.
“What do you want?” I said coldly.
His face gave no answers. “After your eventful day, you have questions, I presume?”
I eyed him. “You know if my friend got back here safely?”
“I’m assuming you mean the massive bear,” Hades said.
I nodded, and he did too. “I offered to house him myself, but was turned down by my relatives.”
“Bummer,” I said with no emotion.
“You know…” His voice was light. “No matter what the others say, I think what you did back at the base was impressive.”
I paused. What had the others been saying? I held back glancing at him. Hades was probably just trying to screw with me.
As I continued walking, Hades kept pace. “You must have been quite surprised, suddenly having powers of such caliber.”
I said nothing.
Horrified was more like it. Heat prickled in me just thinking about it. I’d basically turned into a savage beast that hadn’t recognized its own friends. If that voice at the last minute hadn’t distracted me and brought me to my senses, who knows what would’ve happened?
“Axel thinks all it takes is some training.” Hades voice was silky, suggestive.
I stopped to glare at him head-on. “What do you want, Hades?”
His smile was car salesman-slick. “Merely to propose an alternative solution.”
“An alternative solution to training?”
“No. An alternative place for it. We both know that you training on Olympus, storming about burning down things without any regard for anyone, won’t be tolerated long. And when Hera returns-”
“Okay,” I interrupted. “So…”
“Same goes for Earth,” Hades continued smoothly. “Any attempts to train there could get you and your friends cornered by the DSA again.”
I frowned. “But I thought-”
“That what you forced off at the base was the full extent of the DSA’s forces?” Laughter bubbled out of Hades’ lips like wine. “I’m afraid not. Not even close. Their base is more of a storage area and meeting place. Or was, anyway.”
I was tired of playing games.
“So you’re offering for me to come down to the Underworld to train with you,” I said.
“Or not,” he said. “I can leave you to train on your own, if you’d prefer. Although I’d be available if you needed any… guidance.”
I eyed him. His offer was tempting, I’d give him that. Not the guidance part, I already had an evil crazy voice in my head, thanks. I could do without another one by my side. But a place to train where I couldn’t hurt or destroy anything, could be out of range of my friends. Yeah, that was tempting.
But then again, this was Hades who was offering me this deal. I didn’t remember much from my school mythology class, but I did remember that he was a sneaky bastard.
“Why?” I asked.
His brow furrowed under his blazing blue hair. It was the only thing keeping the hollows of his face visible, as distrust-inspiring as ever. “Why not?”
“What’s in it for you?” I said. “What are you trying to screw up?”
Another smile, although this one had nothing in it. “I see you are as close-minded as your friends.”
“And you still haven’t answered the question.”
“Is it so hard to believe that I may truly want to help?”
“Yeah. Since you still haven’t said why.”
“Because I didn’t get help when I needed it. I was alone to deal with my dark powers – and eventually exiled for it.” Hades spoke in a bored distant voice, as though he was talking about someone else, although that furrow between his brows was still there. “Why do you think I was relegated down to the Underworld at all? Not by choice.”
“But I thought-”
“There was a time I relished the solitude and power of my land, yes.” An affirmative head bob. “But centuries rolled past and I changed. My fellow Olympians threw different titles and powers at me, even a wife, but they never let me return.”
“So, you’re trying to help me – and get back at them,” I said, reading between the lines.
Hades’ coal eyes flickered. “Whatever my reasoning, it sounds like a win-win for the both of us.”
“And if I go with you,” I said, “I can leave any time I like? There’s no catch?”
“None,” he said. “Only that you may not want to.”
“I doubt that. I’ll never not want to see my friends.”
His smile was all wrong. “That’s the problem. You’ll see.”
If you were wondering about my take, it’s that this is a preposterous, horrendous, stupendously dreadful idea, my PV chimed it.
-I wasn’t, I told it inside my head firmly. You’ve done enough.
Hades was looking at me expectantly, yet unconcerned. This was probably all in a day’s work for him – screwing with the Olympians, seeing if he could tempt any unwary person to join him.
Thing was, I wasn’t unwary. Nope, I knew I couldn’t trust him. But I also knew that he was right, too. I couldn’t afford to train either here or down on Earth. The Underworld was my best option. My only option.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it.�
�
“Excellent,” he said, throwing out his arm in a flourish. “Let’s go then?”
I faltered. “My friends…”
His smile broadened. “You want to check up on them now?”
“No,” I said quietly. “No, I’ll….”
Damnit, there wasn’t really a choice here. Hades knew as well as I did that as soon as my friends saw me, they’d try stopping me from doing what I had to. Especially Axel.
I’d found out the most important thing anyway – that they and Jer were safe. What more did I need?
“Tala?” Hades said.
I swallowed, nodding. “Let’s go.”
Going down to the Underworld was anticlimactic. Maybe it was because I felt so shitty that there wasn’t much that could shake me.
Sure, there was the whole soupy river of souls and black creaky wood gondola, but I didn’t pay much attention to either. I wasn’t here for sightseeing or for a cool story to tell my friends. I was here to figure out how to shift without losing control and risking hurting my friends.
Although glimpses of the morose-faced souls in the pea green waters wasn’t exactly an upper. Were any of those the DSA agents I’d burned alive? Every glimpse, along with the harrowing pound of my heartbeat, I was reminded of it. I’d killed people.
Yeah, maybe they had been bad people, who’d wanted to hurt and kill me, but still. People were dead because of me.
I’d been this close to going on a palace-destroying rampage, maybe even accidentally killing my friends in the process. I certainly hadn’t recognized bear Jeremy during my rampage, other than as something that didn’t need to be burned like the others.
I grabbed at the wooden side of the gondola, my hands heating up.
Hades’ voice surprised me. “Feels like a release, doesn’t it? Using your powers. Killing.”
“Nope,” I lied.
He said nothing as I turned away. I’d bet money the bastard was smiling. Amidst the tension my body was clenched with, there was something else. A lightness.
Like my body liked what I’d done.
The rest of the trip, disembarking and walking, was short-lived. I was lucky that Hades decided to spare me the whole Underworld Grand Tour, instead leading me straight to an empty plateau.
With no warning, he stopped. Smiled. “So.”
“So,” I said, turning around so I got a 360 view of my dismal surroundings. “Where are we?”
“We’re in a subterranean chamber I created in the Underworld,” he said easily. “One of the perks of my job.”
Yeah, if you called creating a landscape that was as lifeless and craterous as the moon a ‘perk.’ Woo-hoo. Even the river we’d come from was now nowhere in sight.
“Here you won’t be disturbed by anyone,” he said, answering my next question.
“What about when I want to leave?” I asked.
“Then you’ll know where to find me,” Hades said, already walking off. “Anyway, I have some business to attend to. Ta-ta.”
I watched him walk away as different impulses battled in me.
I called out, “But-”
He only laughed. “Fear not. Normal bodily impulses and needs – food, drink, waste – are not an issue here. Nor does your fire have its same… potency here.”
Okay… whatever that meant. But already Hades was out of hearing range, dissolving into a speck in the distance.
Yep, I was finally, completely alone.
I craned my head all around again, but the landscape was unchanged. All slate gray blue-tinged craterous stone extending as far as the eye could see in all directions.
Seized by an impulse, I cupped my hands over my mouth. “Hello…” I called.
My voice got swallowed by the expanse.
I sat down. I really was alone then. This was it.
Hope you’re happy now, my PV grumbled.
Okay, maybe not completely alone.
Indeed. Now, shall you attempt to shift, or perhaps you’d prefer meandering here admiring the spectacular landscape all day?
As annoying as it was, my PV was right. Although I was still nervous about just out and shifting.
You really don’t trust me, do you? my PV said, an unusual note of sad compassion in its voice.
I clenched my fists.
It was time to shift, not have a heart-to-heart with my PV. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could go back to my friends.
I forced my mind to angry-making thoughts. To how Stewie’s voice had cackled over the loudspeaker in the DSA base. To how Miss Mildred had taken Jeremy away. Hell, to Jeremy, as that… that monster.
My birthmarks were burning, had turned a bright red.
Yes. So many liars. So many lies. Burn them. Burn them all.
Heat was concentrated in my back, snaking up and down me. Overtaking me.
I lifted up in the air, flapping my giant wings.
Yes. This was as it should be.
I would find them and make them pay. Burn them. Burn them all.
I threw my head back and lit up the sky with my righteous flames. But there was ground as far as the eye could see. Ground as far…
No matter. I would find them and make them pay. Burn them. Burn them all.
I searched for hours, maybe days, I lost track. But the liars were hiding and I was tired.
Their burning would come, but not today. Today, I would sleep.
Just for now…
Waking up, everything ached. My shoulders, my shins, my throat, even my freaking earlobes.
Last time I’d been awake, I’d… oh, shit.
Closing my eyes, the memory was woozy, yet unmistakable. I’d been in my dragon form, practicing shifting, to see if I could control…
My head collapsed to the side as I dry-heaved. As a dragon, I hadn’t been able to control anything. I’d been the very definition of uncontrollable.
And not for a few minutes, like the other times. No, this time, I’d taken to the sky and hunted for hours. Maybe even longer. I’d only stopped when forced to from exhaustion.
Once again, I’d had no control over my impulses. I’d failed.
I propped myself up to a seated position. Maybe if I got Axel’s help?
His voice echoed in my head. “Only the wildest dragons can’t control their impulses and are forced to live alone.”
My God, that was what I was, wasn’t it? Practicing with Axel wouldn’t make a difference. Not if I was one of the wild dragons who couldn’t control themselves – myself.
My fists clenched as I huffed out a breath.
I couldn’t give up. Not yet. This was only the first time I’d made a real go at trying. I’d just have to try harder. Find a way to make it work. I owed my friends that much.
I got to my feet with a determined nod to myself. This hellish no-land was not going to be my home.
A week passed in a blur of disappointment.
The harder I tried to control myself, the worse I failed. I flew and burned and flew some more. Each time I woke up so tired I could hardly bear to open my eyes. So ashamed that it hurt to think. The only thing I welcomed now was sleep.
My PV admonished me (Fool, why torture us in this way?), my own thoughts screamed at me (Not good enough – you’re not trying hard enough!). Until, finally, I called in Hades.
“Yes?” he said.
“It’s not working,” I said.
“Not working,” he said in an utterly unsurprised voice. “Perhaps you’d like help?”
Do. Not, my PV hissed.
Calm your crazy, I told my PV. I wasn’t that desperate yet. I’d like help all right – just not his.
“Oh yes,” Hades was saying. “There is one thing.”
“What?”
“Your friend, the bear shifter. He’s woken up.”
“Jeremy, he’s awake?”
“Yes, but…” Hades eyed me with a surprised smile. “You’re really going to risk seeing him?”
My heart plummeted. The blue-haire
d bastard was right. Practicing shifting hadn’t made me able to better control myself– if anything, it’d made me worse. If I went to see Jeremy, then I’d be putting him and all my friends in danger.
“I’m going,” I told Hades before I lost my nerve. I needed to see Jer, see that he was okay. Even if it was just for a few seconds. “Please take me to my friends.”
“Surely you aren’t serious,” Hades said. He wasn’t smiling anymore. “While this place may be an effective refuge, if you go back there…”
“Take me to my friends,” I said firmly. “If I start to lose control or shift, I’ll leave, I’ll…” I swallowed. “I’ll find a way. I won’t hurt them.”
Hades opened both hands in a gesture of unconvinced acquiescence. “If you say so.”
He turned and walked away, presumably to the river of souls. Sure enough, I followed him all the way to the brothy river and the gondola that was waiting for us. This ride was as uneventful as the first had been. Neither of us spoke, which was just peachy with me.
Only when we were at the border of Olympus did Hades speak once again. “Are you sure, Tala? We can still go back. There’s still time to make the right decision.”
I swallowed. Was there, though? When the right decision would’ve been to never shift in the first place?
“I’m sure,” I said. “I have to see my friend. I have to know he’s okay.”
“As you wish,” Hades said simply. “The risk is yours to take.”
“I’ve never lost control for no reason around them before,” I argued, wishing I believed it.
A piteous howl from the Underworld side caught my attention.
“I believe you know her pup,” Hades said casually, gesturing to a massive dog whose three heads were all drooped with dismal half-lidded eyes. “Axel had to take poor Cerebee away, since her mother was too violent, almost killed her one time. Some creatures are not meant to be of the upper world.”
I could only stare sadly. I knew how hard it was to grow up with a mom. How unbearable must it have been to have your child taken from you?
“Cerebus misses her little one, of course,” Hades continued. “But it was for the best…Sometimes the darkness is too strong, can overtake us.” He gestured to the opposite shore where Olympus was. “We’re here now. You’re free to go.”
