By the time he parks in front of an apartment complex, I’m over my little freak-out. I follow him inside his apartment on the top floor. I slip out my high heels after climbing one flight of stairs, deciding that I’ll rather walk barefoot than adding to the blister on my toe.
We step into his apartment and he flips on the light, revealing an open floor plan living room. For a moment I think we must be in the wrong place. The walls are painted in a light gray, matching the pale hard wood floor. A comfortable looking dark gray sectional is in the middle of the room, but what's really surprising me is how this place is decorated. From the throw pillows, to the plush rug, the curtains and the creative paintings hanging on the wall, everything has one thing in common. Yellow. Some a light yellow, some a darker shade, but still, yellow.
Not only is the whole place decorated with a lot of this bright accent color but it's also very cozy in general. Definitely nothing I would expect from Colt. Nothing anyone would expect from a guy who has been to prison, a guy who most people are afraid of.
“Go ahead, ask,” he snickers.
“Who decorated this place?”
“I did.”
“Really?” I ask with my voice about three octaves to high.
“Come on, sit and I’ll explain.” He leads me to the couch and we sit down. “Before I had to stay with my uncle, I lived with my grandma. I didn’t really appreciate it at the time, but she was really good to me. She didn’t have much, which made it even more special that she gave me everything she could. When I was brought to her, she had already lived on her own for many years. My grandpa died of a stroke when he was in his fifties. So, her house was decorated all cute and womanly, I guess. Her favorite color was yellow.” He looks around his apartment and the puzzle pieces fall in place in my head.
“Her house had yellow paisley wallpaper, all kinds of decorations and a million little knickknacks. As a kid I was embarrassed to have friends come over because of it. It wasn’t until after she died and I was forced to leave the house that I realized what she had meant to me. Yellow always reminded me of her.”
He doesn’t explain any further, but I don’t need him to say anything more. I get it. I see and understand the pain in his eyes while he is remembering her. If he didn’t realize what she had meant to him until she was gone, then that means he never had the chance to tell her how much he loved her.
I snake my arms around him and pull him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry you lost her,” I say quietly. We hold each other like this for a while and the only reason I pull away is because I’m comfortable enough to go to sleep and I don’t want to sleep like this…
“Hey, do you mind if I take a shower? I have about a pound of makeup on my face and two pounds of hairspray in my hair. I would like to see that run down the drain.”
“Sure, hold on I’ll get you something comfortable to wear after.”
I follow him into his bedroom, which is a little darker than what I’ve seen of his place so far. The walls are dark gray and the furniture is black. Nevertheless, there are specs of yellow even in this room. He hands me a pile of soft clothes and points me in the direction of the bathroom.
“Towels are in the bathroom.”
“Thanks.” I hurry into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Slipping out of my dress and pulling off the fake lashes feels amazing as always, but still not as good as the hot water washing the makeup off my face. I wash my hair and my body thoroughly. When I step out of the shower and see myself in the mirror, I scare myself half to death. I look like a raccoon with black smudges all around my eyes. Shoot, I usually use eye-makeup remover before taking a shower. I doubt Colt has some here. Well, I hope not.
Using soap, I do my best to get the black circles around my eyes off. Then I slip into the comfortable clothes Colt gave me and step out.
I find him sitting on the couch. He changed into something more comfortable himself. “Feeling better now?” He asks when I sit down.
“Yeah, I do.” I gather my still damp hair to one side and twist it nervously.
Then it suddenly dawns on me. The reason why this feels different. It’s because I want to sleep with him. I know he won’t push me and that’s why I’ve never freaked out before. Now, I am nervous because we have the chance to get physical and I want it to happen. Tonight. Now.
“What's wrong?” Colt asks, sensing the turmoil inside me.
“N-nothing, I… I was just thinking…” I trail off, looking around the room.
Smooth move, Josie.
Colt looks at me equal part concerned and confused. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I was just… I mean, I didn’t even ask you… If you… If it's okay if I stay here tonight. With you.”
“Only if you stop freaking out about it,” he smiles.
“I’m sorry,” I huff and let myself sink back into the couch.
“I’m kidding. You can stay here any time, but you don’t have to be so nervous about it. We don’t have to do anything.”
“What if I want to do something?” I peek up at him through one half-opened eye. He doesn’t look shocked or like he isn’t taking me seriously. He just smiles at me in a sweet Colt-way. The way he is only with me. With a big whoosh, all the nervousness is gone and the next moment I’m in his lap straddling him.
We kiss deeply. My arms are around his neck and his hands are under my shirt, stroking my back. My body takes over and I’m moving my hips on pure instinct fueled by hormones. That's the only way I can explain my actions since I have never done anything like this before.
Colt picks me up with his hands firmly on my upper thigh and carries me to the bed. I wait for the nervousness to reappear but it never does. He lays me gently down on the bed and without thinking I say three little words in between kisses. We both freeze. “I love you,” I repeat.
He doesn’t leave me hanging for long. “I love you too.”
Now that the words are out, we can keep kissing and take our clothes off. He slowly helps me out of mine and I eagerly help him out of his.
I’m naked but I don’t feel exposed. My skin is covered by his in so many places that I don’t feel bare at all. My lips are molded to his while his hands are everywhere else. There is nothing between us, no air, no fear or embarrassment. It’s just us.
We make love until I don’t know where my body ends and his begins. When I finally go to sleep, my brain is flooded with endorphins. I feel sated, full of glee and happiness. Most of all I feel loved.
16
Colt
Waking up with Josie sprawled out on my chest has been amazing the last two times. This morning however, is extra special and not only because we are both naked.
She loves me. Her soft and honest words still ring in my ears.
I can’t quite wrap my mind around it but every moment she is here with me where I can touch her, feel her and smell her, it becomes more real.
She loves me and I love her. I don’t know when or how it happened but I’m unbelievably happy that it did. More than happy actually. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, with whom I’m supposed to be. I am fully aware of the fact that people around us will not agree with that. It doesn’t change the way I feel though. This is right. Josie and I are made for each other and I will not let anyone tell us otherwise.
She stirs on top of me and I tighten my arms around her in response. I don’t want her to move. We could stay like this for the rest of our lives and I would be the happiest guy in the world.
We spend the day at my place in absolute bliss. I made her breakfast and we took a bath together in my large garden tub. For lunch we cooked and for dinner we ordered in. Now, we are curled up on the couch watching a movie I can barely concentrate on. Not with Josie cuddled up to me like this.
“Maybe we should leave the house tomorrow. You know, get some fresh air at least.” I suggest after the movie.
Josie looks at me with guilty eyes. “I kind of have plans tomorrow.”
“What are you doing?”
Josie frowns and looks away at my question. “I’m going to spend the week at our lake house. With Jenna and Elisa.”
“Hey,” I grab her chin and make her look at me. “You don’t have to feel guilty about spending time with your sister. I want you to spend time with her and your friends. It’s not their fault. They have every right to hate me.”
“I wish they could see you how I see you. Jenna is such a big part of my life and she always will be, but now you are important to me. I just want you to all be part of my life together.”
“I know, but I don’t think that's ever going to happen.” I hate that she is in the middle of all of this. I wish I could tell her that things are going to get better but this is not something that can be forgiven or forgotten. What I did to them, what I did to Sarah is irredeemable. I can’t come back from that. Jenna and Eliza see me as a monster and I would never expect them to look at me any other way.
“I’m not meeting them there until noon, so, I could stay here another night, if that’s okay with you.” She looks at me like she just asked me an actual question.
“If that’s okay with me?” Does she not know how much I want her? “If it was up to me, you would never leave.”
“You going to give me a key to your place too? My key chain is getting heavy,” she giggles.
That gets my full attention. “Who else gave you a key?”
“Hunter and Jenna. They want me to move in with them. They don’t understand why I don’t. Of course they don’t know the whole story.”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can say right now. I want to tell her about what I found out, but I don’t think I can be the one to tell her. I want to be here for her when she finds out but I know it wouldn’t be right for her to hear it from me without Jenna. She needs to be with her sister so they can read the files together and I can’t be there for that.
As much as I hate not being able to see Josie for a week, I am happy for her that she gets to see Jenna again. Another plus about this is that it will give me an opportunity to see Hunter without Jenna and Eliza being around. I was thinking about calling or emailing him about this but neither seem appropriate. No, this is something I need to do in person.
We spend another mind blowing night together. Our limbs are a tangled up mess under the blanket. Her skin is so soft and silky, I don’t want to stop touching her. And the noises she makes when I do touch her drive me insane. I can’t get enough of her and there is a part of me that is scared of that. If I were to ever lose her, I would be left broken beyond repair.
The night and morning fly by and before I know it, one of her dad’s cars is picking her up to take her to the lake house. “I’ll text you and I’ll sneak out to call you when I can too!” She gets on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. I dip my head down and wrap my arms around her to pull her as close as I can.
When I release her, she grabs her phone with one hand and her high heels with the other. Her cell goes off again, dinging with a text. “Ugh, they left early and they’re almost there. I’m going to be late. I hate being late!”
“You are not late, they’re early,” I try to calm her.
“Colt! Stop making sense!”
I smile and she comes in for one more quick kiss before she hurries out the door. As soon as the door closes behind her, my place feels empty and cold. That’s what Josie does to me, what she does to my life. She lightens everything up, makes it vibrant and alive. All the yellow in the world wouldn’t be able to brighten up my apartment like she does by just being here.
I walk to the window so I can see her leave when something silver catches my eye beside the couch. It’s her little purse, she must have forgotten about it. I pick it up and hear a set of keys rattling inside. I text her quickly to see if she wants to come back for them but she tells me that she won’t need them. Apparently the lake house has a keypad to open it.
I get dressed and hit the road right away. Preferably, I’ll get to Hunters place before he gets back.
I let myself in with Josie’s key and walk straight into the kitchen, flipping on the lights as I go. I don’t want to wait here in the dark and surprise him even more with my presence. I throw the manila folder on the kitchen table and take a seat after I deposit the six-pack I brought into his fridge. I’ve been at Hunter’s place a million times, but never have I been this nervous. Not even the time I broke in.
I wait, staring at the folder and try to predict how Hunter is going to react to all of this. I just hope he lets me talk long enough to explain everything. When I hear his car pull up a little after ten, I take two beers out of the fridge, open them and sit them on the table. Just when I sit back down, I hear the front door open. A few seconds later Hunter walks in the room pointing a gun at me. I lean back in my chair and show him my hands, palms up.
He glowers at me for a few more seconds before lowering his gun slowly and taking the seat across from me. “What do you want now?”
I push the folder across the table so it’s right front of him. I take a sip of my beer while he opens it and starts reading over the documents. I see in his face the exact moment he realizes what this is.
“No way… how… why?” He reads some more until he closes the folder abruptly and looks up to me. “How did you get your hands on this? And more importantly why? What do you want for this?”
“I don’t want anything. I was looking into Senator Warren because…” I take another huge gulp of my beer. “I’ve been seeing Josie.” Quick and pain free, just like ripping off a band aid.
Hunter’s expression goes blank. “Come again?” He acts like he just didn’t hear what I said.
“Josie and I have been dating. Each other.” I don’t know how much clearer I can make it.
Hunter still looks at me like he can’t comprehend what I’m telling him. “This Josie?” He asks, pointing at the folder.
“Yes, that Josie.”
“And Josie knows about this?”
I nod and flip my phone so he can see the screen. I push the home button and my screen saver lights up. It’s the picture of me and Josie at the bar on her birthday. She is sitting on my lap, holding on to me and smiling from ear to ear. Hunter looks at the proof of us being together until the screen goes dark.
“How in the world did this happen? And when? Did you even kidnap her, or was that some kind of hoax?”
“I really did kidnapped her. Kind of. I didn’t know Josie until the day I took her from the house. So no, we didn’t plan any of this.”
“Oh so you kidnapped her and after that you were like, hey where do we go from here? I know, lets date?!”
I lower my head, wrapping both of my hands around the beer bottle like it’s going to give me some kind of support. Then I tell him everything. Every detail of how we met, exactly how I felt about her from the very beginning, the way she calms me and takes my nightmares away. I tell him all of it, and he just listens.
“I came here to tell you everything because I think Jenna and Josie should hear about this when they’re together and it’s not like I can be there when Jenna is visiting. I thought you could tell them.”
“Yeah, I think that would be best for now,” Hunter agrees after a stretch of silence.
“Do you love her?”
I look him straight in the eyes when I answer. “I do. I love Josie and by some unimaginable miracle, she loves me back.” I am a good liar, but Hunter always could see through me. He knows I’m telling the truth now. He believes every word I say.
With a hundred pounds lifted off of me, I get up to leave, but before I can make the first step Hunter stops me. “You not going to finish your beer?”
17
Josephine
Jenna sits down next to me on the couch popping her legs in my lap. “So tell us again why you were wearing a short little black dress when you got here?” She has been prying about this all day and this was exactly the reason why I wanted to get here before them. Eli
za is sitting in the love seat looking a bit uncomfortable by Jenna interrogating me.
“I had brunch with someone,” I try to say in an even voice but Jenna sees through me as if she has X-ray vision.
“Why are you lying? Something is up! There is something you haven’t been telling me. Now out with it, Josie.” Oh no, Jenna is not going to let this one go. Then she suddenly bolts from the couch. “Oh my god! Are you seeing someone?”
I freeze, I can’t breathe, move or even blink. “I-I…,” is the only thing I can get out.
Jenna starts jumping up and down, bombarding me with questions and demands. “I knew something was up. How did I not see the before? Of course you’re seeing someone! Why didn’t you tell me? I want to know everything. Is he the reason you don’t want to move away?”
“Yes, he is part of the reason I don’t want to move away.” There we go. An honest statement. Even if my dad would allow me to move out now, I wouldn’t move away because Colt is here.
“Go on,” Jenna nudges me and takes her seat next to me once more.
“We haven’t been seeing each other for long and it’s all very new. I didn’t tell anyone because…” I trail off trying to say something while staying at least somewhat close to the truth. “He’s kind of off limits. He’s older than me.”
“Wait, how much older are we talking about? Like grandpa-age?” She makes a face of disgust.
“No! He is twenty-one.”
Jenna rolls her eyes. “Hunter is twenty-one. We are eighteen, that not a big age gap.”
Shoot, she got me there. “Jenna, I’m sorry. I know you want me to tell you everything, but I just don’t really want to talk about it. You know I’ve never dated anyone before and this is all so new to me. I just want to figure this out on my own.”
She looks at me like I’ve just slapped her across the face. Rejection is all I can see in her eyes and it’s making my heart hurt to see her like this. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly but the words seem to have no effect at all.
The Lies We Tell: An Enemy to Lovers Young Adult Romance (Pushed Aside Book 3) Page 9
