I shrug my shoulders in ignorance and he stands up and reaches for his baton. “Fucking stand up, McMillan.”
He is no more than two feet away from me holding his baton menacingly in his right hand, but I need to brazen this out and I stand up as confidently as I can. My show of confidence seems to faze him for a second, but then he raises the baton slightly to emphasize his next statement.
“Not only do I find out that you are smuggling drugs into my prison, but I also have a fucking epiphany, don’t I? You’re the bastard that was fucking spying on us a few months back in Lulu’s.”
The look on my face confirms his suspicions and he has me completely banged to rights. Any second now, I am expecting him to attack me with his baton, but just as I think he might go for me, the look of aggression changes to concern and he puts away his baton and tells me to sit back down.
“I don’t know what your fucking game is, McMillan, but we seem to have ourselves a bit of a stalemate, don’t we?”
I have no bloody idea where he is going with this, but I do have the distinct feeling that he is feeling vulnerable.
“Mr. Cartwright, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Let’s not fuck around, McMillan. Am I under investigation by the police?”
This conversation could not have gone any better. He isn’t here to beat me to death with his baton; he is here to try to save himself. But now I need to think on my feet. I can’t try to bluff him that my murder charge is just a cover story because that would leave too much to chance, but equally I can’t miss out on the opportunity to leave him thinking he is vulnerable.
“Not just you, Cartwright, your lapdog Taylor as well. Don’t worry, though, you’re safe for now. However, if anything happens to me, the cops will be all over you. If I put in a good word, you and Gimp Boy might be able to share a cell.”
He looks worried and confused at the same time. “What do you mean, safe for now? Am I under investigation or not?”
“You were under investigation, but my own run in with the law put that on hold for now.”
“So, the murder case is real and not just some cover story?” His tone is getting confident again and it is clear that he thinks the odds are swinging back in his favor.
“The murder case is real enough, but don’t get any ideas that you’re in the clear, Cartwright. Copies of all my case files are safely with one of my colleagues and with my solicitor with clear instructions to take action if anything untoward happens to me. There is more than enough in there to blow your little smuggling racket wide open.”
His mind is working overtime trying to work out if I am bluffing, but I am confident that he won’t try anything and risk getting fucked over.
“Did you arrange for McGuigan to steal my badge?
“No, no, that was a genuine accident. He’s a clumsy little fucker, that boy”
He is not convinced, but he doesn’t want to push me too far. “What about that night in Lulu’s and the prison sweats and how did you know about us? Did somebody grass me up?”
“I’m a detective, that’s all you need to know,” I say arrogantly. He looks like he wants to ask more, but my look tells him to mind his own business. “Just keep out of my hair, Cartwright, and I will make sure that your file never sees the light of day. The same goes for Billy as well — steer clear of him for now.”
“You seem very sure of yourself for a guy facing a murder charge. What assurance do I have that you won’t just turn me in for a lighter sentence if you get found guilty?”
“Don’t push it, Cartwright. You don’t have any assurance at all and it suits me to leave it like that.”
“What about all that weed you smuggled in? If the murder case is real, you are as guilty as I am of smuggling contraband. I think that means that I do have an assurance after all, McMillan.”
Using my surname at the end of his last point is an indicator that he thinks we are level again and he might be right. I still have one other ace up my sleeve, though.
“Like I said, just steer clear of me and Billy and your case file stays buried. But that thing that you and Taylor have going on — well, that’s a whole different ball game.”
He knows exactly what I mean and he now looks terrified at the thought of me revealing their secret.
“Don’t panic, Cartwright. That’s another secret that is safe with me for now. If you and Taylor want to play dress-up together, that’s none of my business. Live and let live, I say. Let’s just hope that none of the less understanding lads in here find out. Now I think we are done here, apart from one other item.”
My final request is an easy one for a man in his position, and he looks relieved that it wasn’t anything more difficult.
“Okay, I will get them tonight and get them to you tomorrow morning.”
“No, send Taylor out for them now. I need them tonight.”
I don’t need them tonight, but I feel that it’s important to show who has the upper hand. Begrudgingly, he agrees and he leaves the cell after promising to deliver after dinner. Once he has gone, I have a chance to reflect on what has just happened. It may appear that I have Cartwright in my pocket for now, but I am under no illusion that he won’t be trying to find a way to extract himself from this situation. He obviously has a nice thing going for himself here and if it were me, there is no way I would allow some cocky ex-copper to hold me to ransom.
My time is ticking away with Butler, though, and if I am not out of here by midday next Friday, I may need to ramp it up a notch with Cartwright.
Twenty minutes later, a sheepish-looking Billy pokes his head around the door and enquires, “So is it safe to come in, Sean?”
“Don’t be a fucking dipstick all your life, Billy, of course it’s safe.”
He takes his seat at the table and asks me what Cartwright wanted. “I passed him on the way back up here and he barely even looked at me. What went down in here? I was expecting to find you in the sickbay the way he came barging in and told me to fuck off out.”
I laugh and tell him that everything is okay, “He just wanted a chat about my case and asked me if I knew anyone who could help him out with a couple of speeding tickets.
Nothing to worry about, Billy. Oh, and he asked me to pass on his apologies for his mistake over his ID badge.”
“But it wasn’t a mistake, Sean. I nicked it.”
“No, Billy, it was a mistake and he is really sorry, you get me?”
The penny drops, or it looks like it does, and he gives me a knowing look. “Oh right, yeh. It was a mistake. Good one, Sean. But did he really apologize? That’s not like Mr. Cartwright.”
“Seriously, he said he was really sorry for the misunderstanding and he was wondering if you could be friends again.”
“Aww, Sean, now I know you’re pulling my pisser. Anyway let’s get a move on — it’s fish and chips for dinner on a Saturday.”
Although we are on friendly terms now, I still sit apart from Billy in the canteen. The success of my plans is far from guaranteed, so it is better the other cons don’t assume any association between us. I am happy to accept my own fate if it comes to it, but I don’t want to drag Billy down with me.
For Billy, this suits him just fine and once he has his fish and chips, he is happy to sit absolutely anywhere. I choose to sit on a table with a few of the older cons. None of them makes any attempt to speak to me, but neither do they act with any hostility, so it’s a win-win as far as I am concerned.
Taylor is in his usual place next to the tea urns, but there is no sign of Cartwright anywhere in the canteen. I assume that he must be on duty in another part of the prison, but then I remember that it’s the weekend and he has probably already finished his shift for the day. A few times during the course of the dinner service, I look over towards Taylor, but he doesn’t make eye contact with me until right at the end.
I am emptying the remains of my dinner into the bin when he leaves his position and comes across to speak to me.
“Come with me, McMillan. I have something for you.”
I follow him out of the canteen assuming that he has my delivery, but he surprises me when he keeps on walking towards the visitation area and then stops outside the interview room where I had my meeting with Jean earlier today. Since leaving the canteen, he hasn’t said a word to me, so I am suspicious when he points to the door and tells me to go inside.
“What is this, Taylor? Is there a little surprise waiting for me inside? Cartwright and a couple of his boys maybe?”
Taylor clearly isn’t interested one way or the other and he simply shrugs his shoulders and says, “Whatever, McMillan, go inside or don’t go inside. It’s all the same to me. I’ve got better things to be doing than running errands for you and babysitting your last-minute visitors.”
He pushes the door open and I can see Cath sitting at the table with two other visitors. Taylor looks back at me again and says, “Well, are you going in or what?”
I push my way past and ignore him as he tells me that I only have ten minutes before I need to go back to the wing. As soon as the door is closed, Cath stands up and excuses herself, “I won’t stay, Sean. I only came to make sure that they got in okay. It took a lot of string-pulling again, but I thought it might cheer you up. Anyway, you don’t have long, so I will leave you to it.”
I thank Cath and sit down opposite Maria and Ben as Taylor lets her out of the room. Of all the surprises lately, seeing Maria and Ben here is one of the biggest, but before I can say anything, Maria leans across the table and takes my hand.
“I hope that you don’t mind us coming here, Sean? I needed to see you, though.
Well, what I mean is, we needed to see you. To thank you for everything you have done for us. I know that you didn’t murder Paul Donovan or, even if you did, it must have been self-defense. You’re a good man, Sean. I refuse to believe what it says in the papers about you.”
Her faith in me is touching and I find myself blushing slightly at her words and the feel of her hand on mine. She is in two minds as to whether I killed Donovan, but it doesn’t seem to matter to her.
“Thank you, Maria. I really appreciate your support, but you really shouldn’t have come here. I don’t want to get either of you involved in my mess.”
“It was my mess a long time before it was yours, Sean. I know what you did for Ben and I really cannot thank you enough. My son is my entire world, Sean.”
Ben looks embarrassed, but he also looks like he is itching to ask me something and after an uncomfortable few seconds of silence he does.
“Was Paul Donovan coming for me or my mum, DC McMillan? Is that why he was in our house? Did you know that he was coming and was that why you made me leave?”
Suddenly my mouth and throat are incredibly dry and I reach for a small bottle of water in front of Maria.
“Sorry, but may I, Maria?”
She pushes the bottle across the table and I take a long swig and then place it back down.
“I had an idea that he was coming, Ben. I wasn’t a hundred per cent sure, but I couldn’t take any chances. It was better for him to find me there instead of you or your mum.”
“And what happened when he found you instead of me? Did you fight?”
“I’m sorry, Ben. I really can’t discuss this with you,” I reply.
“Did you kill Paul Donovan, Sean?” Maria asks. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he is dead. He destroyed the best part of my life and he deserved a lot worse than a quick death, but I need to know that if you did kill him, that it was in self-defense. I need to know for Ben’s sake that a good man was fighting for us.”
In a few minutes, Taylor will be barging in to take me back to my cell and I have no idea if I will ever see Maria or Ben again. There is no way that I am going to let their last memory of me be one of doubt and suspicion.
“I didn’t kill him, Maria. Part of me wishes that I had killed him for what he put you and a lot of other people through, but it wasn’t me. Sorry, but that’s all I can tell you.”
She looks relieved and even slightly happy at my response. “Thank you, Sean. It was important for us to know. Your colleague Catherine wouldn’t tell us anything about your case, but if you didn’t do it, that’s good and you should be out of here soon.”
Her last words are as much a question as a statement and she is looking at me now to confirm it.
“I have a good solicitor and good friends, Maria. I’m sure this will all be cleared up soon.”
She smiles at my reassurance.
A few seconds later, Taylor steps into the room to tell me my time is up. As they go to leave, Ben shakes my hand, but Maria hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. Seeing this display of affection gives Taylor a chance to try to humiliate me and before they can leave, he blocks the way to the door and hands me a small package wrapped in brown paper.
“That’s the wank mags you asked for, McMillan. Sorry, but the newsagent was out of Russian MILFS and Farm Animals Monthly, so I got you some extra Fat Grannies stuff. I hope that’s okay?”
He thinks he is being funny, but he is the only one that is laughing. Maria and Ben both look embarrassed, but I already have a killer comeback ready to shoot him down with.
“Perfectly okay, Mr. Taylor, as long as there is none of that faggoty gay shit in there. I can’t stand seeing blokes dressed up as girls. I’m sure a masculine guy like you probably feels the same?”
My jibe hits the spot. With a flush of embarrassment, he turns and opens the door, barking at me, “Alright, McMillan, back to your cell. Come on, get a move on.”
His embarrassment is my turn to be amused and before I leave, I turn back to Maria and Ben and give them a knowing look and a wink, “Thanks so much for coming. Take care of yourselves.”
Outside in the corridor, Taylor is impatient to get me back, but he is also annoyed at me for embarrassing him and he stops me at the entrance to ‘A’ wing.
“You might think that you have the upper hand now, McMillan, but make the most of it. You will be surprised how fucking quickly all your so-called friends drop you when you get convicted for murder. You won’t be so fucking high and mighty then.”
The sad part about this is that he is right. If I don’t get things sorted out, I will be well and truly thrown to the wolves. Dreamtime might be my salvation, but it will mean nothing if I can’t protect myself during the waking hours. I might put on a show of arrogance and invincibility at times, but inside I am afraid of what might happen when my week is up.
“Thanks for the words of wisdom, Brendan. They’re duly noted. Now why don’t you scuttle away and get yourself ready for tonight?”
“Sorry, what’s happening tonight?” he replies, with a look of confusion on his face.
“Don’t act all innocent, it’s Saturday, it’s a Lulu’s night. You need to get a move on and help Phillip into his leather thong.”
His hand is on his baton and I have no doubt that he would love to smash me over the head with it, but for now he keeps his cool.
“Go fuck yourself, McMillan. I can wait a week.”
He walks away, and I go inside my cell and sit down on my bunk to prepare for tonight by studying the photographs and documents from Cath. A couple of hours later, Billy shows up and spots the package on his bunk.
“Fucking hell, Sean, is that what I think it is?”
“I told you, Billy, look after me and I will look after you. That little lot should keep you going until I can sort the other thing out.”
Reading the dirty little fucker’s mind, I add, “And Billy, before you say anything else, the answer is no.”
“No, what?” he asks with an innocent look on his face.
“No, you can’t fucking jack off in the cell, not while I’m in here anyway. Take them to the bogs if you’re that bloody desperate.”
“I never had you down as the shy type, McMillan,” he laughs. “Right then, if I’m not back before lights out, send out a search party to l
ook for a guy with a huge right arm.”
With that, he is out of the door with a roll of toilet paper in his left hand and the package clutched tightly in his right hand. It’s just after nine o’clock and I am likely to have the cell to myself for at least the next couple of hours, so I push the door shut and spend ninety minutes exercising to aid tonight’s travel.
Billy is as good as his word and gets back to the cell ten minutes before lights out looking utterly exhausted.
“Have you seriously been wanking all this time, Billy?”
“No, don’t be stupid, I was reading some of the articles as well.”
“Really?”
“Nah, just joking you, Sean. I can’t read that well. I wanted it to last, so I kept taking myself to the edge and then at the last second, I would change over to the mag with grannies. It’s fucking great for killing the moment.”
“Thanks for that, Billy, that’s a lovely image in my head now. Good night, Billy.”
He doesn’t reply and a few seconds later, I hear him snoring. I expect after all the exertion he will sleep the entire night regardless of any noise that I might make. I’m not expecting trouble tonight, but then I never do. I put on the blue shirt over my t-shirt and retrieve the watch and other items from my pillow case. The bolt on the cell door is slammed across and a few minutes later the lights go out.
Tonight I am going to visit an old friend to ask for a favor. It’s been a long time and he will have changed a lot, but the picture from Cath was taken recently and is clear in my head.
My trip tonight is probably one of my most important ever and will lay the foundation for everything else from here on. With one final check that I have everything I need, I lie down, close my eyes, and chant my way back to the past.
The Past – Tuesday, 26th December 2017
The last time I had seen Darren ‘Daz’ Phillips was on Christmas Eve in 1989, when I had left him at the bar in the White Hart pub drinking his way through the wedge of cash I had given him for soaking Clive Douglas.
As you would expect then, finding or recognizing him after nearly 30 years would have been nearly impossible without some help, given that I’m currently banged up at Her Majesty’s pleasure in HM Prison Meerholt.
The Network Page 11
