“Yes, Josselyn. That’s the question I have asked twice now and still haven’t gotten an answer to. Please, just answer me. Because if it’s what I think it is, there is going to be a bigger problem than the one we have between us already.”
Exasperated, I sighed and put him out of his misery. “I am not fucking Bruno. He is my boss. Not that he would ever be someone I’d touch. Are you happy now?”
“Fuck no. I’m far from happy. Besides the obvious, I watched him graze your shoulder and saw you shift uncomfortably. That isn’t okay. Ever. Why wouldn’t you put him in his place? You seem to not have any issue doing so to me,” Zane barked out through gritted teeth. The thing with Bruno was, he controlled my livelihood and it hadn’t escalated to anything other than what Zane saw.
“Because he is my boss, Zane. I can’t exactly tell him to fuck off because then I’d lose my job. I love what I do so I just put up with it. It’s nothing more than an annoyance anyway. Now, let me go,” I demanded. Again, Zane seemed pissed but his hold around me loosened and I took that opportunity to step back.
“Mac.” Zane had said his name like a statement.
“What?” I questioned back, so confused by his insistence on me calling him Mac. Too much had transpired for me to feel comfortable calling him that.
“From this moment forward, I am Mac to you,” Zane demanded again.
“No. You’re Zane. The person I knew as Mac hasn’t been a part of my life in years. Just because I am interviewing you and we spent a few hours together doesn’t mean we automatically erase what happened.” He had to know it wouldn’t be like that between us ever again.
“We’ll get there,” he mumbled so low I almost didn’t hear him. Not sure what universe I had landed in but it was time I went to my office and Zane MacIntyre exited stage right.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, but I have other stuff to do. So if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go.” I spoke as I collected my bag and walked to the door. Just as I grabbed the handle, Zane called my name.
“Joss.” His voice sounded gruff with a hint of sadness. It was the first time he had called me Joss the entire day.
Stopping my forward movements, I lowered my head, trying to bite back the tears I felt welling in my eyes, and whispered, “Don’t. You don’t get to do this to me. Just go, Zane, and I’ll see you Thursday.” With no backward glance or a response from Zane, I opened the door and headed straight for my safe place. Once I was inside, I pressed the intercom to Arden’s desk and asked her to come into my office. Like the fantastic friend she had always been, she read my tone and made it to the chair opposite me in record time.
_______________
After an hour of me ranting and raving to Arden about the nerve of Zane, my phone buzzed with Wes on the other end, demanding Arden return to her job and stop gossiping with me. Wes was mostly laid-back and easygoing, except when it came to Arden. When he first started to get intense around her, I had assumed it was because she was calling out of work for a few days when she was sick and work had been piling up for Wes. Little had I known, it was for a completely different reason. Either way, I knew something was up between them and was determined to find out exactly what.
Once I was alone, I looked around my office. The one place I felt safe away from the world, besides my apartment, always gave me a relaxing vibe. The walls were a medium gray color with white trim along the bottom and top. The floors were that sweet dark wood color with a smooth shine that never seemed to dull. My smaller styled black executive desk was nestled into the corner, with two black leather chairs in front for meetings or bitchfests, like the one I had just had with Arden. I had a few knickknacks on my desk along with my MacBook, desk calendar, lamp, and an old mug full of pens I couldn’t seem to part with. The walls of my office, though, were my nirvana.
Each wall was decorated with everything and anything that inspired me. In the center of each wall were framed pictures of my idols like Tony Hawk and even some of me during some of the best rides I ever had during competition. My favorite things were the quotes. It was something I allowed everyone in the office to contribute to. If there was a saying that helped motivate or just gave someone a feeling, I had them bring it to me. If I’d felt it, I’d hung it up. If it was a great saying but just didn’t move me, I glued it to a page inside a photo album I turned into a quote book. It always meant something to me when any of my coworkers shared that type of thing with me, so I wanted to honor that.
Gathering my notes from today’s meeting and my bag, I headed down to the studio. My show, The Josselyn Easton Show, was going to start in just about thirty minutes and we needed to do a mic and headphone check. It wasn’t unheard of to have technical difficulties because it wasn’t the highest quality of channels, but it worked for Wes and me. Wes produced the show and usually screened the callers. There were some regular cohosts, most of the time from other channels in the studio, and we wanted to be sure we were ready to go. It was really the normal routine. I must have been in my head because I hadn’t noticed Arden was sitting at the mic across from mine. That was shocking, as she had only ever cohosted with me a handful of times throughout my time on air. Not sure about why the plan had changed for today’s show, I shrugged and decided to just go with it.
“Hey, girl. What’s going on? Why didn’t you tell me when we were talking earlier you’d be cohosting today?” I tilted my head to the side and asked. Arden looked at the booth and then at me with an eye roll.
“Wes wanted us to discuss ex-loves and unrequited type of relationships together.”
“Hmm. Well, okay. But why didn’t he want to tell me?” Curiosity had me on high alert and I pressed the button to turn on my mic so everyone with headphones could hear me.
“Wes, next time you want to do a change up, can we not do so thirty minutes before we go live? I mean a little notice would have been nice. By the way, you are looking like the cat that ate the canary right now, I can only assume you are up to something, you shit,” I finished my mini scolding and sat down. Taking out my notebook and a pen from my bag, I started to jot some notes down on the topics for today’s conversation. We had three hours to fill up and I wanted to be sure there wasn’t dead air. Arden seemed to be doing the same on her tablet. She was a bit more high tech than me and used that damn tablet for everything. I preferred old-school for this.
Before I knew it, Wes was giving me the countdown and we were live. My pulse picked up with excitement, like it did every time Wes counted me in. A huge smile broke out across my face and I winked at Arden. I started the broadcast the same way I always did. My theme song playing low in the background while I did my opening monologue.
“Good afternoon from sunny LA County and welcome to The Josselyn Easton Show. For those who may be listening for the first time, I’m your host, Josselyn, but you can call me Joss. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be able to talk to all of you for another day. Today I am joined by the lovely and bewitching Arden Torissi. She’ll be my cohost today as we navigate the ins and outs of unrequited relationships and ex-lovers. It promises to be a steamy and personal topic. Anything goes here at my show, so pull up your big girl or boy panties and settle in. Without further ado, let’s let it rip.”
The rest of the intro music faded and as I started to begin the conversation about unrequited relationships, I looked up and saw Zane standing in the fucking production booth with Wes. What. The. Actual. Fuck? Suddenly, I felt like I was being set up and sabotaged. There weren’t normal breaks in satellite radio like there were on terrestrial radio so we’d have to wait to midpoint, or an hour and a half in, before I could find out what was going on. Thinking he’d left when I walked out of the conference room was my first mistake. Thinking I’d be able to stay calm enough for my show was the second. I tried to block out the fact he was glaring at me and played the topic off Arden.
“Okay, Arden. Let’s dive right in, shall we? Tell me about your first experience where you had a relationship th
at fell into the unrequited category. Either you didn’t return the same feelings or he was the one not able to reciprocate.” It was shitty of me to put her on the spot immediately, but this was how I rolled with the punches and I needed to give myself a minute to deep breathe.
Arden turned her head slightly so she was able to catch Wes’s eyes. “Well, Joss, I guess it’s safe to say I am in a tough spot with this question. The guy I am currently trying to get to know is pretty closed off and won’t really give me the time of day. I’m pretty sure he knows my feelings but doesn’t seem to give a shit. If that isn’t unrequited, then I don’t know what is,” Arden stated, so boldly and directly I was impressed. But when I chanced a glance up at the booth, Wes’s nostrils were flaring and he looked ready to commit murder. Zane was chuckling at Wes’s situation.
With an exquisite rage pumping through my veins watching that asshole laugh at my friend, no matter how funny it was; I launched in to give my perspective on one-sided relationships. Needless to say, Zane’s laughter died out completely and soon. He had the same look Wes wore seconds earlier.
CHAPTER 4
Unrequited Love and Ex-lovers.
Mac
WHEN JOSSELYN HAD left the conference room our meeting had been held in, I had every intention of leaving. She’d said her piece and wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. When my temper had calmed and my emotions were in check, from not being able to say what I wanted and needed to, I walked down the hallway and saw Wes, one of the guys from the meeting, standing at Arden’s desk sort of hovering over her. It was more intimate looking than a boss telling his employee what to do. Not giving that first fuck about interrupting their moment, I made my way right over and cleared my throat. Wes immediately stepped back from Arden and turned fully to me.
“What can I do for you, Zane?” he asked. I watched as Arden glared daggers at me and then stood from her desk and stomped down another hallway off to the left, and slid inside a door. Wes turned his head slightly to watch her go.
“Look, man. I’m sorry I interrupted whatever was happening there,” I nodded my chin toward Arden’s desk for emphasis and continued, “but I want to ask you about this guy Bruno.” I apologized even though I wasn’t sorry. It was just the right thing to do and the best way for me to try to get in with Wes and get the information I wanted.
“Don’t worry about it. Arden is being…well, Arden. She didn’t want to sit in with Joss today to cohost. She’ll be fine. I’m headin’ to the booth to start pre-show checks. You’re more than welcome to come sit in and watch the show when they are done. I can try my best to answer your questions, although, don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.” Wes started to walk in the same direction Arden went and opened the same door she entered through, stopped and said, “Wait here until I come get you. It should only be half an hour or so.”
I paced the narrow hallway and studied the pictures on the walls while I waited for Wes. It was picture after picture of Josselyn. Candid shots of her doing the show or at what I can only assume are some radio station events going by the setup and repeats in the backgrounds with the station logo on them. There was only one of her skateboarding days and, as if I needed another reminder of how big of a dick I was; it was from the day I walked away from her. The picture very clearly captures the sadness in Josselyn’s expression. Some may interpret it as her emotions over retiring, which is what I’d prefer.
Not me though. I knew what the reason behind those sad hazel eyes was.
I was the reason the most beautiful eyes that ever graced this world lost their spark.
But I was going to rectify it.
I was going to make sure the history we had between us wouldn’t be repeated and would prepare us for the future we were going to share.
Just as I was pacing away from the door, I heard it open and saw Wes’s head poke out.
“Come on in, man. Show’s about to start. You sure you’re ready to see Joss in this element? I mean, I know you two have a past—”
“I’ll be fine,” I cut him off. “Besides, it’s about time I see Josselyn do her thing since I’ve never heard the show before.”
“Fuck, Zane. You have no idea what you are walking into here. Last chance to back out. Five minutes to showtime.” Wes was acting strange, as if I had never heard a talk radio show before and I needed to be shielded from something.
“I’m good, man,” I told him and headed into the production booth.
After I settled the headphones comfortably on my head, I stood next to Wes and listened as Josselyn began the show. Watching her in her element caused a sense of pride to flow through me. It was like watching her skate all over again. Not only was she comfortable in her abilities, she had this sexy confidence on-air that made my dick hard. Natural and graceful. I was listening intently like I was in some type of trance. I think Wes was trying to talk to me but I was zoned in to this unbelievable woman behind the microphone. That was, until I heard her tag line, ‘Let’s let it rip.’
I snapped out of my Joss-induced fog and locked eyes on her as she finally realized I was in the booth. I glared at her and for a split second, so small I could have sworn I was seeing things, her lips twitched like she wanted to smile. Then the anger, or was it unease, took over her face. Joss almost looked shocked and panicked, but ever the professional; she swallowed down her shock and went right into the discussion by asking Arden to regale everyone about her experiences.
In her intro to the show, Josselyn informed everyone the topic was unrequited relationships and ex-lovers. It wasn’t exactly the topic I wanted to be here to witness Joss discuss so when Arden started talking about the guy who she claimed wasn’t reciprocating her feelings, I heard a growl come from Wes and I turned to look at him. He looked like he was ready to pounce all over Arden. Me, being the jackass I was, found it incredibly hilarious that Arden blatantly outed Wes on air.
Big mistake on my part.
I wish I had paid more attention to Josselyn to catch her complete change in attitude instead of laughing at Wes. I might have been able to see the shit-eating smirk grace her beautifully pouty lips before she launched in. Not really sure what I had expected here, but I guess I needed to hear everything she said. But honestly, listening to her describe our history with millions of listeners created this angry simmer in my blood. Why didn’t she ever tell me the depth of her true feelings? And why did I have to hear them through headphones on a live radio show?
Josselyn stared me straight in the eyes as she said to her listeners, “Sometimes you realize people live up to their reputations and there really isn’t anything you can do about it except watch them walk away from you.”
Fuck. This was brutal. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what I did and that I hurt her, I just wasn’t aware of how much or exactly how deep it went. The anger that was simmering just below the surface of my skin boiled over, and I took the headphones off and threw them across the booth. Wes pushed his down around his neck and watched me for a moment, then he spoke.
“I warned you, man. Joss isn’t afraid to say anything. She speaks her truth every day on air. It’s what makes people want to tune in. I get you’re pissed, but don’t throw my equipment again,” he scolded.
“I’m pissed, yes. But not at her,” I sighed and tore my hand through my hair, frustrated beyond belief. “Sorry about the headphones. If there is any damage, let me know. I’ll cover it.” At that I made my way to the door to leave. When I grabbed the door handle and was almost through, Wes called my name and I stopped to turn to him.
“Not my place to tell you what to do here. Trust me, I am the last person to be dishin’ out advice on relationships, but give her time. Joss puts on a hard front but from what I can gather, she is all soft under it. And, bro, to answer what I can only assume was your question or at least the original reason you stuck around here, Bruno is a dick. Always has been. He gets touchy feely with almost every female who works here. He’s had his eye on Joss for a while. Just because she l
et’s it all hang out on air, he thinks she will give him the time of day. Believe me when I say, I have my eye on that fucker. Closely.” At Wes’s words about Joss, I stilled. I felt every muscle in my body contract and it took every ounce of control not to lose my fucking shit. Once I got myself under control, I spoke.
“I’m sorry. Did you say Josselyn is a target of his? What exactly does that mean, Wes? And what would make him think she’d ever go there just from what is said on her show?”
Wes blew out a long breath and then answered me, “It means that he is a fucking predator. He thinks he will have an easier time getting in Joss’s pants because she doesn’t shy away from talking about her sex life on air. I watched him touch her in the meeting, earlier today. He is getting ballsier because he’s never done that before in front of anyone. Joss has told me every single time he has done somethin’ that gave her the creeps. I told you, man. I’m watching.”
“As her boss, don’t you think more should be done to protect her instead of you just ‘watching closely’? And maybe she needs to tone it down on the air. This motherfucker isn’t the only one who would like a piece of Josselyn. It’s not like she isn’t recognized,” I demanded. If anything happened to Josselyn, I would hunt down whoever did it and skin them like a fucking animal.
“Look, Zane. She’s safe. Believe me when I say she can handle herself but if she can’t there are plans in place. I’m doing all I can to make sure those plans never have to be used. Just need you to trust me on this,” Wes retorted.
I’d had enough of this back-and forth-with Wes. Something felt off and I was going to figure out what it was, so I left. As I walked to the elevator, I pulled out my phone and scrolled until I found the number I was looking for. I hesitated to hit the call button, as I knew the recipient wouldn’t be expecting a call from me. The choices I was left with were limited and now that I planned to be in Josselyn’s life permanently, I’d do whatever I could to make sure she was safe.
Ruthless Renovator : A Hero Club Novel Page 3
