“Thank you so much for having me, Josselyn. It’s great to be here, but even better to see you again.” Zane winked at me. He sat there with a smug smile on his face. Not only did I see his game, but also I prepared for it.
“Well, Mr. MacIntyre. That’s awfully sweet of you to say. How about we get started and give the audience what they really want? What happened to make you just quit your skating career? It’s understood that you had sustained an irreversible injury but that wasn’t exactly true, was it?” I questioned him with a similarly smug look on my face. I watched as Zane’s demeanor changed and he shifted in his chair.
“You’re right. It wasn’t just the injury that made me leave skating. Other factors played a part in my decision. It wasn’t an easy one to make. Giving up something that means so much to you, in order to protect people you care about, is never a decision a person makes lightly,” Zane replied and looked pointedly at me.
It went on like this for the rest of the interview. Every question I threw at him that was meant to be a dig, he dug back with his answer, and I followed suit in retort. The final question I had for him pertained to his upcoming event for skate park unveiling.
“Zane, what types of charities and entertainment do you plan on for the event in Venice?” He full-out smiled and I’d be lying to myself if I said his smile wasn’t a thing of beauty. I stared a bit too long at his mouth because I was snapped out of my daydreams by what I thought was Zane asking me to do a demo at his event. Live, on-air. He had balls to ask me on-air. This wasn’t something I could have ever prepared for. And being put on the spot, I couldn’t say anything but yes.
“Sure. Sounds like the event is for the greater good, and I wouldn’t mind getting on my board for an audience again.” I heard myself say the words but even I couldn’t believe them.
What the hell did I just agree to?
Better yet, how the hell did I manage to get caught up is his fucking smile?
I was so screwed.
CHAPTER 8
Less than Enjoyable
Mac
JOSSELYN HAD JUST agreed to perform the demo. And now she was looking at me like she was going to strangle me. Putting her on the spot live on her radio show was a risk. I knew that but it was a chance I was willing to take. There wasn’t anyone else who would be able to do the demo and Graham was going to be ecstatic I got her to agree. Not only did asking her on-air back her into a corner, Josselyn basically gave us free advertising on her radio show to millions of her fans.
I was a bastard and I knew it. I didn’t feel bad about things falling into place for this event. Skate parks were important to the new generations coming up the ranks. The charities we sponsored did great work to help kids realize their potential and talents to go pro. I’m proud of the work I do and once Josselyn sees exactly what she agreed to, she’ll realize I had no other choice.
Josselyn would always be my choice. No matter how much she hated me.
After the advertisers did their commercials and Joss finished her sign-off, she flew out of her seat and stomped close to me.
“How fucking dare you do that to me? You knew exactly what you were doing and put me on the spot. If I said no, my reputation would have been ruined. My show would lose ratings. Why are you such an asshole?” she seethed at me.
“I did what I had to do, Josselyn. I came here early to talk but you skated off, giving me the finger. Besides, if I had asked you privately, would you have agreed?”
“Hell no. And you know that. That’s why you went about it the way you did. You had no intention of asking me privately. You wanted the upper hand in this and you got it. Does it make you feel powerful? Does it? Bet you feel like a big bad businessman who huffed and puffed until the little host was blown down, huh?” Josselyn’s outrage was nearing unhealthy levels. I could feel my heart rate speed up and my face getting warm, which only meant it was red as hell. I hadn’t completely bulldozed over her, had I?
“Baby, you have no idea what it’s like for me in this situation,” I gritted out. We were almost nose-to-nose in this showdown and Joss was standing strong.
“Don’t call me baby,” she snarled, getting even closer to me.
“I’ll stop calling you baby when you start calling me Mac.” Josselyn, I was realizing, was as stubborn as I was.
“Zane,” Joss sighed and took a step back from me. “I can’t do this demo. I retired for a reason, plus we aren’t even friends. I don’t owe you anything. I still have connections though and I will help you find another skater for your demo. Deal?” she asked, and stuck out her hand for me to shake. I grabbed her hand and tugged it so she crashed into my chest. I trapped our hands between us and wound my free hand around her waist.
When I had her where I wanted her, I looked into her gorgeous liquid hazel eyes and told her, “Josselyn, calm down. You are way angrier then you need to be. Trust me, you are the only one I want. For this demo and for other things. For now, we’ll focus on the first. After, we’ll talk about the second. I don’t feel like the big bad businessman or whatever the fuck you spouted off. I feel like a man trying to right some of his wrongs. And, baby, I got lots of wrongs to right. But I am not sorry about the way I asked you to do this. I will never apologize for going after what I want. Ever.”
“Let me go, Zane,” Joss whispered, and I could see tears starting to form in her eyes.
“I’m never going to do that again, baby.” I moved my arm from her waist to catch the single tear that ran down her face with my thumb. Joss used the loss of my grip around her to jerk away from me and step back quickly. When I reached out to grab her again, she made a run for it. I sighed and plopped down into the chair I had been in for the interview. The frustration I felt was all my own doing. Not realizing I still had an audience, I scrubbed my hands down my face and barked out, “FUCK!”
“She’ll come around, Zane. Just give her some time. You broke her that day and she’s never been able to really let go of the hurt you caused,” I heard Arden’s voice say somewhat sweetly over the speakers inside the studio. I turned to look at where she was in the booth and she gave me a sad, small smile. I gave her a chin lift and a return smile and set out to find Josselyn.
_______________
There weren’t many places Josselyn could have gone. First, she was still technically working. Second, her car was still parked in the garage. And last, her board was resting against the wall in her office. I’d peeked in quickly and saw it there. Arden and Wes were still working on post-production shit for the show and I needed to find Joss. I’d never seen her cry, not even when she would get hurt skating. Normally, I wouldn’t feel like a complete cocksucker after hurting a woman, but Josselyn isn’t just any woman.
I heard what sounded like crying as I made my way back down the hall toward the elevator. It sounded like it was coming from Josselyn’s office. Slowly, so as not to scare her, I entered her office with light feet and followed the sound of a nose sniffling and Joss’s hurt whimpers. It was getting more pronounced the closer I got to her desk. When I pulled out the chair, I found Josselyn sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs, head resting on her knees, under her desk. I sat down as best I could in the cramped space, wincing at the pain in my bad knee, and waited. Her tears kept falling but she knew I was there.
“Josselyn,” I murmured. “Look at me, baby.” Stubborn little thing, she shook her head no.
“Please. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m an asshole.” That got her to at least turn her head so her cheek was resting on her knee, but she was looking at me.
“Why are you playing games with me, Zane?” she asked sincerely, as her breath hitched on a sob.
I let out a sigh. “Joss, it’s the only way I could get your attention. All I really want is for you to stop hating me long enough to have coffee with me. Or dinner. Fuck, I’d even settle for a phone call at this point since you find it so hard to be around me.”
“I can’t do that. You’ve done enough damage. I’m ask
ing you, to please, just leave me alone,” she begged.
“More than anything, I want to give you what you want, just not that. You won’t get rid of me that easily. I was a dick. More, I have been a dick to you for a very long time. Please come out from under there so we can talk,” I pleaded.
Josselyn looked me right in my eyes and whispered, “If I come out there now, you are going to take advantage of me being vulnerable, so no.”
“Baby, I promise you, I won’t. My knee can’t take sitting like this much longer. As much as I deserve the pain radiating through my lower half, I have to stand up. I’ve put enough hurt in those beautiful eyes for one day and I’d like to apologize properly. So, please, come out and talk to me,” I promised her. Once I moved and knelt, some of the pain relieved and I held out my hand to her to help her up. Joss stared at it like it was going to burn her.
Fuck, but I had screwed up. It was never my intention to cause any pain. Seeing her balled up under her desk shook me. Josselyn was more fragile than I remembered and I’d have to proceed with care.
After what felt like an eternity of staring at me, which I can only assume was her assessing me carefully to determine my sincerity; Joss grabbed my hand and allowed me to help her out from under the desk. It was the first time we had touched in years and the electricity zapped me so hard, I almost stumbled backward. Once she was upright, she dropped my hand immediately and once again stared at me like I was an alien.
Wonder if she felt that?
The look on her face had me stepping back to give her the space she was silently asking for. The fact she took the hand I held out to her gave me the slice of hope I needed to press forward.
“Why don’t we sit?” I suggested, and pointed to the chair she used to close her in under her desk. To show her I understood her pleas for space, but wanting privacy all the same, I closed the door to her office and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.
“I was sitting. Now, I think I’ll stand.” So be it. She could stand, sit, lie down, or float and I would still have taken full advantage of the opportunity she was giving me.
“Suit yourself,” I replied with a smirk. Hearing some of her attitude, after seeing her cry, was always welcome. I found her to be even sexier when she threw it around. Mostly, I liked when she aimed it at other people, but more and more I had started to get turned on the more sarcastic she got.
“Say what you have to say. Let’s get this over with. Our time together has maxed out for one day,” she huffed out, annoyed and pacing back and forth behind her desk.
“First, I want to know why you got so upset. My fucked-up way of asking you to help me aside, something like that never would have sent you into an emotional tailspin like that. So, what gives?” I started to rub my knee without even realizing it. Josselyn noticed and she stopped pacing and narrowed her eyes at me.
“Why are you doing that? You never had issues with your knee before,” she asked suspiciously.
“Long story. One day, I’ll tell you. Now, don’t change the subject.”
“Fuck, Zane. I don’t know, all right? I knew you were planning on playing games so I prepared. Just not enough, obviously. Plus, my morning was less than enjoyable, okay? This thing with you, it’s too much, too hard. You already know that I didn’t even want to do this interview because of our history, but my hand was forced and here we are, caught up in this nightmare. This is exactly what I didn’t want to have happen,” she confessed, looked away, and moved to stare at the memories lining her walls.
I watched as she spoke and what I saw shadow her face had my hackles rising. Her morning was less than enjoyable? She better not have been with a man last night.
Motherfucker.
This distance between us was too much at that moment for me to take, so I stood and edged in behind her. Joss felt me come up behind her because she froze in place. My hands grabbed her hips and I got even closer, moving her hair away from her neck with my chin. I put my mouth right up to her ear and asked her what I wanted answers to.
“Let’s discuss the part where you had a ‘less than enjoyable morning.’ What precisely does that mean?” I spit out. I felt the muscle in my jaw tic and I knew Joss heard my tone because she came unstuck and turned to face me.
“Zane, it doesn’t matter.” Joss looked me in the eyes and when I saw her hazel eyes turn dark, things intensified.
“It fucking matters to me. Tell me what the hell you meant!” I demanded. My heart was beating so fast and she couldn’t miss it being this close to me.
“Seriously? It’s none of your business. I owe you ZERO explanations. All you need to know is that this thing with us is never going to happen, no matter how many games you play, so back the fuck off.
“We’ve been over this before, baby. I won’t be backing off now, or in the future. Things have changed and I am a part of your life now. You don’t want to tell me this? Fine. You want me to work for you? Fine again. Challenge accepted, Josselyn. But let me be very clear about something so there is no misunderstanding now, or when things start to get really interesting,” I started and walked her backward until she met the wall, and I caged her in against it. Then I finished, “If another man touches you, I won’t be happy. You’ve belonged to me since you were sixteen. I fucked up along the way, but trust me when I say; I am more than willing to pick up the gauntlet you threw down. Prepare, baby. I don’t play games I can’t win, remember?”
With that final declaration to her, I pushed away, winked at Josselyn, and left her leaned against the wall dazed and confused. We had one hell of an emotional roller coaster of an afternoon, and I knew I had put her through enough for the day. I wasn’t going to stop pushing my way into her life.
Ruthless, remember?
CHAPTER 9
Text Messages and Karaoke.
Joss
MY HEAD WAS spinning from the events of the day, but more specifically the outrageous way Zane decided to confront me and unload all his feelings. I wasn’t lying to him when I told him that whatever was happening was too much, too hard, and way too fast. Zane didn’t seem to really give a shit in any way. He was adamant about learning about my morning but he didn’t need to know what was going on with Bruno. If he knew, I was positive things between us would escalate even faster than they had that day.
Feeling Zane against my back, then his heart racing against my chest when I turned in his arms as he caged me in, caused the familiar feelings I had tried to conceal break out and run rampant. What I thought had been seriousness, when he asked about my morning, was really only his jealousy masked in anger because he thought I was with a man. It was the only logical reasoning behind the parting shot he gave me.
It was the day from hell from start to finish. For the first time that I can remember, I wanted to just go home. I needed to be in my own space, where only those I invited in were allowed and nothing could make me feel or think about stuff I didn’t want to deal with. I usually loved hanging around after a show and working some more, or bullshitting with Arden, but all my energy had been zapped by Zane. Without any goodbyes, I gathered my shit and got the hell out of there.
As I walked to the garage, an eerie, familiar feeling settled over me and I went on alert. My skin broke out in goosebumps again and I picked up the pace to my car. It felt like someone was watching me, and it was freaking me right the fuck out. Luckily, I made it to my car safe and without another run-in with Bruno. I let out a deep breath when I started up my Prius; knowing solitude was in store for my evening.
Backing out and turning on to the street, I reached over and cranked up the Metallica song that was blaring from my playlist and began my ride home. Traffic was lighter since I left work at a different time than normal and it was nice to not be in a constant stop-and-go pattern.
At least when driving, that was.
My emotional status was a completely different story.
I’d made it to my apartment in record time. I made sure I locked my door and set t
he alarm because I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching or following me. Taking off my bag, and throwing my keys into the bowl where I tossed practically everything from change to candy, I made my way through the hall and headed toward the kitchen when my stomach growled loudly. Glad that I hadn’t lost my appetite, I let out a sigh.
When I got into my kitchen, I opened the fridge and saw the only thing that looked edible was some chicken in a storage container that had to be at least a week old and some things for breakfast. I was not in the mood to cook and that was chicken food poisoning waiting to happen, so I just grabbed the bottle of wine and closed the door. Leaning against the refrigerator door, contemplating what to order for dinner and taking a huge-ass swig of the wine from the bottle, I slid down the door to my ass on the kitchen floor.
There was no reason to try to compartmentalize all that had happened today. It was all playing on loop in my head and I wouldn’t have been able to if I tried. Filing away my feelings in neat folders in my head used to be the only way I could get through things that dealt with emotions. Now, I have wine. Just as I took another swig, my phone buzzed in my back pocket. Forgotten completely, I hoped I hadn’t damaged it when I slid onto the floor. I reached back, grabbed it, and stared at the new message notification from an unknown person displayed on the screen. Curiosity got the best of me and I swiped the message open.
UNKNOWN: Meet me tomorrow night at The Lantern.
ME: Who the hell is this?
UNKNOWN: Who do you want it to be? Or should I ask who do you NOT want it to be?
ME: I don’t have the patience for this. Tell me who you are or you are getting blocked.
UNKNOWN: But this is so much more fun. Answer my question and I will tell you who I am.
This ass. I knew exactly who it was. I’d had enough of his games and the bullshit for today.
ME: Zane, please do us both a favor and fuck off. You were completely out of line in the studio and then my office.
Ruthless Renovator : A Hero Club Novel Page 6
