by L. P. Dover
His lips pull back slightly. “How will we know unless we try?” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead.
“Then I guess we’ll try,” I murmur. “I want this more than you know.”
Time is running out, but he hugs me one last time. “Go before you miss your flight. I promise we’ll figure this out.”
Reluctantly, I let him go and watch him hurry back to his car. He smiles at me when he gets in and I wave, not knowing when I’ll see him next. I already miss him.
Eight
Kellan
My arm wraps around the metal pole of the subway car as I steady myself. My ear buds are in but only sounds of the ocean is playing. I’m more interested in the magazine in my hands. It’s slightly hard to read and harder to write in, but I’m determined to take this test Hope told me about in this month’s issue of Vogue. Yes, I’ve become a Vogue man. And People. And Cosmopolitan. Why? Because Men’s Health doesn’t have quizzes to help me figure out if Hope and I are going to make it with a long-distance relationship, they don’t tell me when I should ask her to move back home or if I should start looking for a job in Phoenix. The magazines I normally read on my commute do nothing to help me try and understand why, when I text my girlfriend it can take her hours to respond, but if I email her, it’s an instant response. The action doesn’t make any sense to me. She still has to stop what she’s doing to respond so why not just text me back? Vanity Fair says it’s because that is how she likes to communicate. As long as there is a reason, I accept it and move on.
Question 1: Do you have things in common with your crush?
So much!! or We don’t talk much
I circle the first.
Question 2: Do you have any inside jokes?
So many!! or We don’t really talk enough to have any
So many exclamation points.
It takes me a moment to think. Hope and I talk a lot, every night before I go to bed and when she wakes first thing in the morning. I’ve made adjustments to my schedule, so I’m not stuck in a meeting or something in the morning. At first, my colleagues were pissed because I blocked out every morning for the next few months, but they’re getting over it. She’s doing the same for me and making sure she’s free at night to talk before I go to bed. The time difference is a killer, but we’re adjusting.
Question 3: Could you see your crush turning into something more serious?
OMG!! or Not my thing
Should I tell Hope I’ve already looked at rings? It wasn’t like I purposely went out looking. I happened to be in Rockefeller Center and walked past Tiffany’s. There was a woman gushing about the window display and I stopped to see what the fuss was. I understood immediately because even I was impressed with the ring on display and could easily see it on Hope’s finger.
I give up on this test because it’s stupid. It’s too young for me. I flip to the front of the magazine to make sure I’m reading Vanity Fair and not Seventeen. Sure enough, but this edition must’ve been edited by the high school editorial team.
As soon as I get off the train, I set the magazine on the bench for someone else to read and head toward the stairs, taking them two at a time. My mind is elsewhere. I work a bit longer most nights so I can try and get ahead, although it’s near impossible with my job. It’s so fly by the seat of your pants in the moment that I can’t really look ahead, unless I’m doing a deep dive on some corporation that might be in trouble in the next couple of months.
Taped to my office door is a note from HR. My heart drops to the floor and back up. What could they possibly want?
I set my bag down, pull my laptop out and slide it into the docking station. My five-monitor set-up comes to life. The screen in the middle is where my daily everything takes place, emails, meetings, all the fun stuff. The monitors on the side, stock market for every major region. Reaching for the letter, I rip the envelope open and pull the folded sheet of paper out.
Kellan,
Please take some vacation time before you lose it.
I’m not a man who needs to be told twice, although like Hope’s job, there really isn’t a good time to take vacation. Still, I pull up one of the cheap sites for airline tickets and type in my destination to see what comes up. Prices are freaking amazing but there’s no way I can make a decision without talking to Hope. Showing up unannounced, while it sounds romantic, would piss her off, and that isn’t something I’m willing to do.
The alarm on my phone goes off and I smile. Hope is awake, out of the shower and has had her first cup of coffee. I set my phone up on my desk and press the video chat button. It rings five times until she picks up.
“Good morning,” she says. “I need a minute, I’m not dressed.”
“Let me see, please.”
Hope laughs. “You saw last night.”
I laugh in return. “I know but I need to see you every day.”
Hope adjusts her phone and shows me her chest. She moves the phone back and forth until it comes to her bright pink towel. “Have you seen enough?”
“Never. Show me more, please?”
“Is your door closed? I don’t want any of your co-workers busting in.”
“Shut and locked,” I tell her.
She smiles and slowly pulls the terry cloth away to reveal her creamy skin, her perfect breasts, curvy hips and the sweet spot between her legs where I long to be.
“Lassie, you’re killing me.”
“Hey,” she says, bringing the camera back to her face. “You asked.”
“I know. I’m a glutton for punishment.”
“I’ll spank you for being naughty,” she says, giggling.
“Speaking of. What do you think of me coming out to Phoenix for a few days? I have some vacation time saved up and I know you’re busy, but I figured I could explore during the day, find out why you love the city so much, make you dinner. I just want to be in the same space as you, Hope.”
I expect her smile to disappear because she is busy, and her workload is heavy. It doesn’t and in my opinion, it gets brighter. “When would you fly out?”
I shrug making it seem like I haven’t thought about it. “Tomorrow.”
“Seriously?”
My head moves up and down in rapid motion. “I don’t want to wait.”
“What about work?”
“It all lives on my trusty laptop. I’ll have to adjust my hours slightly, but I’ll be okay. Just think of the morning loving I can give you.”
“You’re insatiable.”
“Only when it comes to you. So, what do you think?”
“I think you should get on the plane. I have Friday off this weekend and can make some modifications to my appointments so we can spend more time together.”
“You sure?”
Her lips purse. “Kellan, if you’re not in my apartment tomorrow when I get home from work, naked, with a rose stem in your mouth, I will think you’re not serious about me.”
Oh, hell no, we can’t have those thoughts running through her pretty little head. “I’ll take the first flight out and be there as fast as American Airlines can get me there.”
“Perfect. Now, I have to get dressed and go to work. Talk tonight.”
“Yeah, lassie. I can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Me neither. I love you, Kellan.”
Hearing her say that never gets old. If she only knew how much I really loved her. “I love you too,” I say. She blows me a kiss before disconnecting our call. I remember the day I told her those words for the first time. It was two weeks after the wedding and since I had a free weekend, I flew out to see her. We were sitting out on her apartment balcony, enjoying the cool, breezy night when the words slipped from my mouth. I thought for sure she’d say “thank you” or some shit like that, but instead, she kissed me and said the words back. I knew then and there that it was going to work.
I sit back and smile until my cheeks fucking hurt. Hell yes, I’m going to see my girl tomorrow. However, in order to make this happen I h
ave a shit ton of work to do. First things first, book my flight. I’ll let the rest fall into place.
When the plane lands in Phoenix, the flight attendant tells everyone to lower their shades and to stay in their seats until it is time to get up because it’s hot outside and they don’t want us overheating. I sort of scoff because I’ve heard this before, and I’m at the front of the plane, I’ll be off as soon as the doors open.
As soon as I step off the plane and inhale, I take back everything I said and thought in the minutes prior to this point in my life. It’s hotter than a witch’s tit leaning over a cauldron. What the ever-loving fuck is this shit and why didn’t Hope warn me about it?
By the time I make it out of the airport, I’m sweating. No wonder Hope said I needed to be naked on her couch when she came home from work—she doesn’t want to see what a sweaty mess I am, and frankly neither do I.
I give the driver Hope’s address and ask him to crank up the air conditioner. He glances over his shoulder at me. “Sir, it’s only eighty.”
“Bullshit, it has to be a hundred plus out there.” I tug at the collar of my shirt and let my tongue hang out the side of my mouth.
“Where are you from?”
“New York City.”
“And it’s what, like thirty out?” he asks.
“More like fifty.”
The driver laughs. “You’re in the desert now, everything will seem hotter. It’ll cool down tonight to about sixty. But if you think it’s hot here now, don’t come back in the summer.”
“How hot?”
He shrugs. “Easily over a hundred, every day.”
This gives me pause. This is where Hope lives. I have to come back if I want to see her, but I’ve never felt like my body was on fire before until now.
The drive takes longer than I anticipated. I didn’t expect there to be so much traffic. I suppose Phoenix is like any other big city, especially one that is growing. When the cab driver pulls into Hope’s apartment complex, I’m relieved. I pay, grab my suitcase, and head up toward her place. I wasn’t keen on the idea of her leaving her house key under the doormat, but she promised me everything was safe.
With the key in my hand, I slide it into the lock and let myself in. It’s painted in muted purples, greens and grays with pops of color everywhere. It’s clean, smells like her and the most comfortable feeling place I’ve ever been.
How is this possible?
Because you’re already in love, idiot.
After I reacquaint myself, get something to drink and send Hope a text with me lying on her bed, I open my laptop and do some work. I have a timer set for when she’s supposed to be home because I want to give her my undivided attention.
Before I know it, the alarm dings. I close my laptop and go into the living room and strip. I do exactly as she says. Thankfully, she has a bouquet of roses on the end table for me to use and after I pick the thorns off, I position myself on her sofa and fix my cock, who is waking up with anticipation of what he’s about to do, cross my feet at my ankles and hold the rose in my hands. I just bring myself to put it in my mouth.
I hear her key slide into to the door.
I smile.
She steps in and looks at me with the biggest smile ever.
“Welcome home, lassie.”
Nine
Hope
Having Kellan in Arizona with me has been a dream come true. We’ve been doing the long-distance thing for eight weeks now. He visited me two weeks after the wedding, and then I made a quick two-day trip to New York three weeks ago. I would’ve loved to have spent it with just him, but our mothers weren’t having any of it. My parents had invited Kellan’s family over, and we spent the day eating and having a good time. Of course, my mother had to sneak in a few comments about marriage while everyone was there, and Kellan’s mother happily joined in. Kellan and I smiled through it all, but it made me wonder what he really thought. We haven’t talked about marriage yet. We’ve only been together for two months, but in my heart, I know he’s the one. Have I told Kellan that? Definitely not, but I don’t want to bring it up first.
Grabbing our bowls of salad, I carry them outside to the balcony where Kellan waits with our plates of grilled chicken and roasted potatoes. When he visited me weeks ago, he couldn’t believe I didn’t have a grill, so he went out and bought me a small one. I’m not complaining in the least. If he wants to cook dinner while he’s here, then he’s more than welcome. I’m tempted to buy a bunch of meat so he can grill it for me before he leaves.
Kellan stares at me curiously when I set his salad bowl in front of him. “Why are you smiling like that?”
Grinning wider, I sit down across from him. “Oh, just thinking.”
He takes a bite of his salad. “About what?”
Shrugging, I look out at the mountains in the distance. It’s a view I never had in New York, and I love it. My attention turns back to Kellan, who waits for me to respond. I nod down at the grilled chicken and smile. “I was thinking about buying a bunch of meat so you can cook it for me before you leave. I love it.”
Kellan bursts out laughing. “So, you love my cooking, eh?”
The chicken practically melts in my mouth. “You have no idea. Been craving meat for some reason.” And watermelon too, which makes no sense because I never liked it.
Kellan reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’ll be happy to, lassie. Anything to take care of you.”
Just hearing that makes me want to cry. My eyes burn, and I can feel the tears building. Kellan chuckles and cups my cheek. “What’s wrong, baby? Did I make you sad?”
I shake my head. “Not at all. Just a little emotional, I guess. All we have are two days left before you leave.”
Sighing, Kellan sits back in his chair. “I know. Time moves way too fast when we’re together, but when we’re apart, it drags on.”
Taking a deep breath, I control the urge to cry. “Tell me about it,” I say, laughing it off. I go through moments where I just want to cry. I’ve never been like that before. Then again, I’ve never been in love with someone the way I am with him. Having to say goodbye all the time gets harder and harder.
Once we’re done eating and we clean up our plates, we go back out to the balcony and move the table out of the way so we can sit beside each other. The night is cool, and the wind gently blows around us. What I love most is the stars in the sky. There are so many, and it looks as if they’re close enough to touch.
Kellan grabs my hand and brings it to his lips. “It’s been a good week, Hope.”
Looking over at him, I can’t contain my smile. “Yes, it has. Although, you’ve yet to surprise me with another homecoming like the time when I came home, and you greeted me with the rose, lying naked on my bed.”
We both laugh, and he squeezes my hand. “Hey, you tell me what you want, and I’ll oblige. I never want to disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me, Kellan.”
His eyes grow serious. “I don’t ever want to.” He peers down into the courtyard that’s in the middle of my apartment complex. It’s like a small park with walkways that go in and around the trees that are lit with sparkling lights, which reminds me of Christmas. And in the middle of the courtyard is a huge water fountain that is said to give people good luck if they drop a penny in. I can see part of it from my balcony, and no one is down there. Kellan nods toward it. “Want to take a walk?” he asks.
It’s the perfect night for it. “Sure.”
He stands and pulls me up with him. Hand in hand, we walk out of my apartment and down to the courtyard. Usually, there are people out walking their dogs, but we’re all alone, which is nice.
“This is the longest time you’ve ever spent in Phoenix,” I say.
Kellan snorts. “Yep. Thought the heat would kill me when I first got here.”
“And now?” I ask.
He winks down at me. “It’s not so bad anymore. Guess it takes a couple of days to get used to it.”
“It does. It took me a while too, but now I love it here.”
Taking a deep breath, he glances around the courtyard. “I’m starting to like it too. I actually enjoyed touring the city while you worked. I hiked Camelback Mountain and walked some trails in South Mountain Park. You don’t get to do that kind of stuff in New York City.”
I shake my head. “Nope. What I hate is that you did that stuff without me. I love Camelback Mountain. It’s one of my favorite hikes.”
“Well, then maybe we can get up early and do it tomorrow morning?”
Squeezing his hand, I slide in closer to him. “Sounds perfect.”
We get to the fountain, and all the coins in the water shimmer in the fountain lights. There’s even a plaque by it that says if you close your eyes and throw a penny in the water, you’ll have good luck. I wonder if it worked for those who threw in the nickels, dimes, and quarters. There were a ton of those intermingled with the pennies.
Letting my hand go, Kellan reaches into his pocket and pulls out two pennies. “Want to give it a try?” He hands me one and walks toward the fountain.
“You have to close your eyes,” I remind him.
I step up beside him, and he chuckles. “Got it.”
Closing my eyes, I hold the penny tightly in my grasp. What do I want to wish for? There are so many things jumbling through my mind, but then it hits me. Kellan tosses his penny in because I hear the thwonk as it hits the water.
All I want is to be happy with Kellan by my side. That’s it. Taking the penny, I kiss it gently and toss it in the air. The second I hear it hit the water, I open my eyes. Kellan stares at me with that devilish grin of his I love so much.
“What’d you wish for?” he asks.
I smack his arm. “I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”
His eyes grow serious. “Want to know what I wished for?” Before I can say for him not to tell me, he places a finger over my lips. “We need to talk.” Taking my hand, he leads me over to the fountain and nods for me to sit. I sit down, and he does the same beside me.
