by K. A. Last
Nothing
All the Things: part two
K. A. Last
www.kalastbooks.com.au
Copyright © 2018 K. A. Last
All rights reserved.
First published in Australia 2018 by K. A. Last
Contents
Dedication
Veronica Was Wrong
My Heart, Again
Sorry Won’t Fix Anything
Second Chance
With You
Good One
Forgive Yourself
Start Living Again
What I’m Looking For
Still Standing
You Have to Choose
The Mess I’m in
The Chance to Begin
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Also by K. A. Last
Copyright
Dedication
For every girl who has ever had her heart broken.
Veronica Was Wrong
FOR A MOMENT I STAND there, frozen. I can’t believe what I’ve just heard.
Levi White asked me to the formal on a dare.
I twist my fingers together in an angry knot. I should confront him. Part of me wants to, but the other part wants to get the hell out of here. Levi and his mates have something else in store for me, and I have no idea what it is.
“Don’t forget about the money,” Jarred says.
Money? My back stiffens, and I wrap my arms around myself. Money for what?
“You’ll get it,” Levi says.
Geoff sniggers. “Hopefully Katie puts out for you. Might make it worth it.”
Put out for him?
Cold washes through me, and I break out in a sweat. I grip my stomach as it fills with a sick feeling. I don’t know whether to be upset or angry. Why would he agree to do something like this?
I need to get out of here.
But I’m at the top of the tallest tower in Sydney, and I can’t move.
Levi comes around the corner and stops under the arch. Our gazes meet, and I’m trying so hard to hold it together. My eyes are hot, and I don’t want to cry, but tears spill onto my cheeks anyway. I blink and squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that when I open them, Levi won’t be standing there.
He is.
“Katie.” He takes a step towards me, his hand out to touch my arm.
I back away and shake my head. “Don’t.” My lip trembles and I suck it between my teeth.
“What’s wrong?” He frowns and drops his arm.
“Really? You’re asking me what’s wrong?”
Geoff and Jarred come into view behind Levi, and I want to punch both of them in their faces.
“Hey, Katie. Having a good night?” Geoff asks.
I puff out a breath, unable to breathe properly because I’m so mad.
I clench my teeth and stare at Levi. “Truth or dare?”
He raises his eyebrows. “You want to play now?”
“Isn’t that how it works?” I ask. “Doesn’t your stupid game go everywhere with you and your bunch of ... jerks?”
“How about we save it for the after-party?” Levi runs a hand through his hair and instead of getting butterflies, I want to rip it off his head.
“What? You don’t want to play now? Okay then. How about you, Geoff? Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” he says without hesitating.
I take a deep breath. “Did someone dare Levi to ask me to the formal?”
Geoff’s smile turns into a smirk. “Yes.”
“And did they also bet that he’d get me to sleep with him?”
“You only get one question,” Jarred says. “Now it’s Geoff’s turn.”
“Fuck you.” I glare at Levi but aim my words at all of them.
“That was the point,” Geoff says, grinning.
I turn and run.
I flee across the dance floor, pushing my way past the moving bodies until I break through the other side. Bypassing the main bathrooms, I hug the curved wall of the restaurant and head for the second set, where it’s quieter. The door slams open as I enter. A girl I’ve never really spoken to stands at the sink, touching up her lipstick. She takes one look at me and leaves.
I stop in the middle of the room, staring at my reflection in the large mirror. My eyes are red and puffy, and mascara has run onto my cheeks. I try to hold in the sobs, but I can’t. My shoulders heave as I suck in breaths, and my throat goes dry. My brain is telling me to calm down, but my heart and body have other ideas.
Why did Levi have to be such an idiot?
There are three stalls. The first has an out of order sign stuck to the door. I push it open and go in, locking myself inside. I sit on the closed toilet lid and cry harder than I ever have before. It’s like the pieces of my heart are pouring out with every breath, and falling onto the bathroom floor. I thought Levi and I were working towards something really special, but what we have is nothing.
The bathroom door squeals as someone opens it, and I hold my breath. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. To know I’m this upset. I can’t let them think they’ve gotten to me.
A girl giggles. “Shouldn’t we check if anyone’s in here?”
I recognise Veronica’s voice, and I lift my legs to hug my knees to my chest, hoping she and whoever she’s with won’t discover me.
“Is there anyone in here?” Geoff’s voice echoes off the tiles.
What is Veronica doing with Geoff?
I hold my breath.
“Check the stalls,” Veronica says.
A door bangs against the stall wall beside me. Another bang. I imagine Geoff looking in the cubicles, and I’m glad there’s the out of order sign on the door to my hiding place.
“Don’t worry. No one’s here,” Geoff says. “We won’t be long.”
Veronica giggles again. They both make noises I don’t want to hear. They’re making out in the girls’ bathroom. Could they have picked a more disgusting place? I press my palms to my ears, and put my forehead on my knees, waiting for it all to end.
Geoff groans. Feet shuffle along the floor.
“Ouch!” Veronica says.
I take my hands away from my ears.
“Come on,” Geoff says.
“Cut it out. You’re hurting me.”
What is he doing to her?
“You want it.”
“No. I don’t. Geoff, stop it.”
“You do. You want it bad.”
They don’t talk for about ten seconds but it feels like ten hours.
“Stop, please.” Veronica’s voice is quieter now. She sniffles. “Please.”
I get off the toilet as quietly as I can and put my eye to the crack at the edge of the stall door.
Geoff has Veronica pressed against the tiled wall. He’s gripping her small wrists with one hand and has them pinned above her head. His other hand is under her dress. She struggles, then turns her head to the side away from the mirror, and closes her eyes.
I step away from the crack in the door and stand still, my hand on the lock.
What a dick.
As much as I don’t like Veronica, I can’t stay in here and let this happen. I would hope if I were ever in a situation like this that someone would help me.
Veronica sniffles again.
“Don’t cry,” Geoff says. “You love putting out.”
I’m going to kill him.
Exactly what I’m going to do I’m not sure; I can’t think that far ahead. Maybe my presence will be enough to stop what’s happening. I look around the stall. There’s a plastic toilet brush behind the bowl next to the sanitary bin. I lean over and grab it. It’s not much of a weapon, but I’m going for surprise not grunt.
> I turn the lock slowly with my other hand. The door creaks as I open it and I stop, my breath catching in my throat. I peek through and my gaze locks with Veronica’s. I put a finger to my lips. Her eyes are glassy. She closes them and whimpers.
I creep out of the stall, my fingers curled tightly around the handle of the toilet brush, making them ache. I edge my way towards Geoff. Veronica struggles, as if my presence has given her another burst of strength over submission. He grips her hands tighter and slams her against the wall, making her cry out.
I’m paralysed. All I need to do is say something and this will stop, but I’m frozen.
Come on, Katie. Do something.
“Get off her,” I say.
Geoff stops and looks over his shoulder. I raise the toilet brush.
“What are you going to do with that?” Geoff laughs. He’s drunk.
He’s moved away from Veronica enough for her to put her legs together. In a quick motion, she brings her knee up into his groin as I whack him over the head with the brush. He lets out a strangled cry, but it’s not from being hit with my inadequate weapon.
Geoff lets go of Veronica’s wrists and clutches himself, squeezing his eyes closed. She shoves him away and he stumbles across the floor.
I circle around Geoff so I can get between him and Veronica.
“Get out,” I say.
“Or what?”
I shake my head. “Did someone dare you to do this? Is it part of your sick and twisted game?”
“You should back off, Katie. You’ll pay for this,” Geoff says.
“Don’t threaten me.” I stand as tall as I can. “I don’t have anything to lose. You, on the other hand ...”
Geoff straightens and backs towards the door, glaring at us. I raise the toilet brush, and my eyebrows, and give him the meanest look I can.
“Truth or dare, Katie.” Geoff opens the door, and the noise of the music wafts into the bathroom as he leaves.
When he’s gone, Veronica lets out a shrill laugh. “I can’t believe you hit him with a toilet brush.”
I stare at the plastic makeshift weapon in my hand. “It didn’t work very well. Your knee was more effective.”
Veronica laughs again, then slides down the wall until she’s sitting on the floor. The laughter turns to sobs, and she puts a hand over her mouth as she cries. I push the stall door open, tossing the brush into the corner, and sit next to her, not caring if the floor will dirty my dress. I don’t like her, and we’re definitely not friends, but she needs someone right now, and if that someone has to be me, then so be it. Compared to what Veronica just went through, my problems are insignificant. Yes, Levi has hurt me—more than once—but he’s never forced himself on me.
Veronica said stop. Geoff ignored that, and that’s not okay.
Veronica wipes her nose with the back of her hand. I get up to grab some tissues from the box on the vanity and offer them to her. I sit beside her again, wondering what to do next. I can’t leave her, and I certainly don’t want to go back out to the formal.
“Why are you being nice to me?” Veronica wipes her eyes.
“No one deserves something like this happening to them,” I say. “Are you ... did he ...?” I can’t say the words.
She shakes her head. “It could’ve been worse. You stopped him.”
“You need to report him.”
“I need to forget this ever happened.”
“Have you ever ... you know ... done ... it?”
“You mean sex?” Veronica asks. “Have I had sex?”
“Have you?”
“Jarred has told everyone we have. Geoff will tell everyone we did. It’s all part of the game.”
“Isn’t it supposed to be about truth?”
Veronica laughs, but it’s not a happy sound. “It hasn’t been about truth for a long time. Now it’s all about doing the most damage.”
“That’s ... It’s a stupid game.”
Veronica gets up and goes to the vanity, leaning over one of the basins that line the wall. She wets a tissue and gets to work cleaning the mascara and eyeliner that has run under her eyes.
I stay on the floor, the emotion of the night overwhelming me. I squeeze my eyes closed and let the tears fall, feeling relief wash over me as I stop fighting. I came in here to grieve my own loss, and instead I have had to be the strong one. I’m tired of being strong. Years of hurt and pain gush out of me, and I don’t care that Veronica is here to see it.
Veronica sits next to me again, and this time it’s her turn to offer me a tissue.
“Why are you crying?” she asks. “Isn’t your life perfect now with Levi?”
“It would be if he actually wanted to be with me,” I say.
“Trust me, he does.”
“Enough to ask me to the formal on a dare?” I look at Veronica, and her mouth opens then closes again. Guilty. “Yeah, I found out about that.”
Veronica shakes her head and smiles. “Are you this stupid all the time?”
“I think I should be offended.”
“Why do you think Levi has never had a girlfriend?”
“Yes, he has.”
“Not really,” she says. “Sure, he’s made out with people, but he’s never had a serious relationship. It’s always been you, Katie.”
“So, he took a dare that forced him to ask me to the formal, and said he had to sleep with me. Oh, and there’s money involved with that second part.” I laugh. “That’s got love written all over it.”
“He is in love with you. He just never wanted to admit it.”
“Can’t half guess why.” I stare at my hands and wrap the skirt of my dress around my finger. The urge to rip it to shreds washes over me. Maybe I’ll burn it when I get home.
“You need to ask him why he agreed to do the dare in the first place.”
“I don’t want to talk to him ever again.”
We go quiet for a few seconds, then Veronica laughs.
“What’s so funny?”
“This.” Veronica motions between us. “Us ... talking. Never thought I’d see the day.” She stares at me, and then her smile falls away. “Thank you.”
“For what? Hitting Geoff with a toilet brush?”
She chuckles. “I’m serious, Katie. If you weren’t here ...”
“Report him.”
Veronica gets to her feet. “It won’t make a difference.”
“Does Jarred know?”
“Stop trying to fix my problems.”
The door bursts open, and Karen spills into the bathroom. She stops dead, and stares at Veronica and me. We must be a sight: both of us with red, puffy faces, and panda eyes. Veronica’s dress has a rip in the skirt. She grabs one of the straps that’s fallen off her shoulder and puts it back in place.
“What happened? What did you do to her?” Karen comes towards Veronica.
I jump up and stand between them. “Don’t, Karen. She didn’t do anything. Geoff attacked her.”
“She probably asked for it.”
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?” Veronica says.
“If the shoe fits.” Karen folds her arms and glares.
“Karen, don’t be a bitch,” I say.
She turns her glare on me. “Okay, one: what did you just call me? And two: you’re defending her?”
I wrap my arms around my stomach to stop myself falling apart again. “Geoff tried to ... he assaulted her. And I stopped him.”
“Would you shut up, Katie,” Veronica says. “It was nothing.”
Karen looks Veronica up and down, her gaze travelling over her torn dress. “Are you okay?” she finally asks.
“What do you care?” Veronica pushes past us to the basin and finishes fixing her makeup.
“I’m sorry. I thought you were hurting Katie.”
Veronica puts her compact down and leans on the edge of the sink. She drops her head, and her shoulders shake. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.”
“We won’t.” I put a
hand on her shoulder.
She stands up straight and blinks rapidly. “Thanks.”
Veronica goes to the door and Karen takes a few steps with her. “You want us to come out with you?”
Veronica shakes her head and opens the door. “You need to stay with Katie. She has her own problems to deal with.”
Karen and I watch the door close, and I wish Veronica was wrong.
My Heart, Again
I FILL KAREN IN ON everything that’s happened since I left her to find Levi. She listens without interrupting until I’m finished. Then she goes into attack mode.
“I’m going to kill him. And Geoff, for good measure.”
“Please, don’t do anything,” I say. “I don’t want to talk to Levi. I don’t even want to look at him.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t give him what for.”
I stare at Karen and suck my bottom lip between my teeth. “Just ... keep him away from me for the rest of the night.”
She sighs. “Okay, but I can’t promise I won’t do anything after we get out of here.”
We leave the bathroom and go back to the main room. As we pass the dance floor, Stacey grabs my hand and pulls me into the throng. We move to the centre of the crowd, masked by the mass of bodies moving around us. Maybe more dancing is exactly what I need. It’s time to really let my hair down.
I glance at Karen and she smiles, moving her hips to the beat. Stacey and Jessica complete our little circle, and everywhere I look people are having fun. Everyone on the dance floor has taken their inhibitions and thrown them in the air. I raise my arms above my head and let loose.
“You, me, dancing. Every weekend from now on,” Karen yells in my ear.
The music slows, and so do we, swaying to the beat. I tilt my head back and close my eyes, trying to immerse myself in this moment, and think about nothing else.
A hand slips around my waist. “I’ve been looking for you.” Levi’s breath tickles my ear. He smells like sweaty aftershave and alcohol.
How dare he touch me? I turn to face him, and shove his arms away at the same time.
I slap him.
Levi presses a hand to his cheek, but I don’t stick around to hear what he has to say. I storm off the dance floor, pushing my way through the crowd. But where am I going to go? We can’t leave the tower until the night is officially over. I’m stuck up here, looking out over the city lights. An immense feeling of claustrophobia engulfs me.
