by Erica Hilton
“I heard a lot of cats who started out making dough, and then the next thing you know you see them in a dope nod off they own shit. Then the next time you see them, they fell off and now they’re a fiend.” Lil Nut shook his head.
“Yeah, well the way I see it, you did Snookie a favor,” Fatman said.
“Cool, so I’ma come back out today.” Lil Nut was pleased to hear the good news.
“Fuquan told me to tell you to sit tight for like another couple of days.”
“Fuck that! I don’t answer to Fu!” Lil Nut put the bowl and spoon in the sink. “Where that nigga at anyway? He ain’t been through to see me yet.” He turned to look at Fatman.
“That’s what I came over to tell you. I ain’t seen him in a couple days. After the last package I came and got from you, I went to go get the bread from him, and he said he ain’t have it, so I bounced.”
“So what he been doing?” Lil Nut was now curious.
“I dunno, man. I went by there before I came over here and he ain’t even answering the door.”
“He ain’t out clockin’?”
“I ain’t see him. I ain’t gonna lie, I really ain’t look for him like that. But I know he wasn’t at the spot.” Fatman shrugged his shoulders.
Lil Nut stood there leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest. He was in deep thought. It wasn’t like Fuquan to just disappear like that.
“Where Butter at?”
“Butter around. I got his bread right here with mine. We both sold out.”
“A’ight, I’ma throw on my shit, and we gonna go see what’s up with Fu,” he said, walking out of the kitchen.
Fatman helped himself to another glass of Kool-Aid while he waited for Lil Nut to get dressed.
***
Lil Nut, Fatman, and Butter walked up into the Howard projects. They were on their way to Fuquan’s apartment when Lil Nut saw a commotion taking place. A man was beating the shit out of his girlfriend right in the middle of the courtyard. Lil Nut stopped in his tracks and looked. Butter and Fatman also looked in the direction of the commotion.
“Damn, he whooping her ass,” Butter said.
Lil Nut began to walk toward the couple.
“Yo, Nut, where you going, man?” Fatman called out after him.
“Aw, damn, this nigga ’bout to get into some shit. Damn! Come on, Fatman,” Butter beckoned as he went after Lil Nut.
Butter caught up to him and grabbed him by the arm. “Come on, Nut, this ain’t got nothing to do with you. Just leave it alone. They just a couple of fiends. They gonna be back together as soon as they get some get-high anyway.”
Lil Nut snatched his arm from Butter’s grip with force.
Butter knew it was a wrap, so he did what any friend would do. He prepared himself to have his boy’s back.
Lil Nut wasted no time once he reached the quarrelling couple. The man had knocked the woman to the ground and was stomping out her guts. The woman lay in the fetal position trying to cover her head and face from the forceful blows.
Lil Nut grabbed his gun and pulled it out. He charged the man and clocked him on the back of the head with the butt end of the gun. The man’s head split in the spot he received the blow. He instantly threw up his hand to touch his head. He turned around just in time for Lil Nut to crack him in the forehead with the gun. The male fiend stumbled, almost falling to the ground. He tried to stand straight, but he swayed badly. He was dizzy and practically dead on his feet. Finally he fell to the ground hard before Lil Nut could hit him again. The injured man rolled back and forth on the ground in pain.
Lil Nut began to stomp him in the face, stomach, and back. Whatever way the man rolled, Lil Nut was on him, stomping him. He was like a maniac. He was so focused that he didn’t even hear the female fiend screaming and hollering for Lil Nut to stop. He was in such a raging trance that he didn’t even realize the man was no longer moving. He hadn’t even noticed that a crowd had gathered.
“Ain’t that the young cat that offed Prodigy?” someone asked.
“Yeah, that’s him. That nigga is crazy.”
Lil Nut didn’t notice this, but his friends did and they felt uncomfortable.
Butter and Fatman charged Lil Nut, getting him off the man. They dragged him away from the horrible bloodbath he’d created.
Lil Nut yanked himself from the grip of his two friends and began to walk on his own. He breathed deeply. Blood covered his hand, the gun he still held, and his Nike sneakers.
Butter and Fatman knew they had to get Lil Nut out of there, and they had to do it fast. Once inside the building, they headed for the elevator.
“Yo, that shit was crazy. What’s up with you, Nut?” Butter asked.
“Fuck you mean, what’s up with me? You for real? Y’all niggas better chill on stopping me from handling my business. I swear one of y’all gonna catch a hot one one day. And that’s my word.” Lil Nut’s adrenaline was still working overtime.
“It’s like this, Nut, we ya boys, and we got ya back. But if you just gonna be wild’n out on motherfuckers just on a whim, then we gotta do what we need to do to getchu up outta sticky situations. Nah-mean?” Butter asked.
“Word up,” Fatman cosigned.
Lil Nut stood there staring at his two friends. He understood where they were coming from. It didn’t dawn on him before that moment that the actions he took could affect everyone around him. But he couldn’t control the beast that lay within him. It had always been like that. His crazy, unpredictable acts were how he got his name.
“Good looking out,” he said sincerely, giving his two friends a pound and a hug.
Lil Nut pushed the button for the elevator. They stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for Fuquan’s floor.
“Look at my shit!” Lil Nut said, getting mad all over again after seeing his ruined gear. He lifted one Nike sneaker slightly off the elevator floor to get a better look at the damage. “Damn!”
“And them a fresh pair too. You just got them shits the other day,” Fatman added.
“Word! Fuck!” Lil Nut hit the elevator wall with his fist, leaving a bloody print behind. “I got that crackhead’s blood all over my hands and shit.” He looked at his hands and arms while still holding the gun.
“Yo, man, give me that,” Butter said, noticing the gun. “You still holding the hammer?”
“Man, I’ma have to get a fucking rabies shot.” Lil Nut continued to vent, ignoring Butter’s request to conceal the weapon.
The bell rang in the elevator, indicating that the floor requested had been reached. When the doors opened two teen girls stood there in their short shorts and tank tops, sucking on apple Jolly Ranchers candy sticks.
“Hey, Nut,” they both sang as if in a love trance.
“Ladies, how y’all doing?” Lil Nut’s smile appeared out of nowhere. He poured on the charm as they stepped off of the elevator.
“What happened? Are you all right?” one of the girls asked. The girls were suddenly alarmed when they noticed the blood on Lil Nut and the gun he held. They both approached him and examined him as if they where physicians.
Butter and Fatman simply leaned up against the wall in amazement. Just a few seconds ago Lil Nut was ready to whoop some more ass, and now he looked like the Don Juan of the ghetto.
“I’m good, ladies. I had to open up a can of whoop ass on this nigga. It’s his blood, not mine.”
“Oh, good.” They both sighed with relief.
Both the girls continued to flirt with Lil Nut. Even with all the blood he had on him, they were still attracted to him, especially since he was still holding the gun in his hands.
Butter and Fatman stood there in envy. They had to work hard to get some play from the females, but Lil Nut didn’t.
“Uh, exc
use me, ladies, but we have to get the king cleaned up, a’ight?” Butter interrupted the overly dramatic scene.
“OK, Nut, where you on your way to?” one of the girls asked. “You headed to Fu’s house?”
“Yeah, you seen him?” Lil Nut asked.
“Yeah, he just went into the apartment not too long ago.”
“A’ight, thanks, y’all,” Fatman said and started to walk toward Fuquan’s apartment down the hall.
“Yeah, good looking,” Butter yelled over his shoulder as he followed Fatman.
“A’ight, ladies, I’ll see y’all later?” Lil Nut asked.
“No doubt, Lil Nut. We’ll be around,” one of the girls said.
Lil Nut backpedaled down the hall, checking out the girls’ asses as they waited for the elevator to return.
Once at Fuquan’s door, Butter and Fatman waited for Lil Nut to get there before they rang the bell.
Lil Nut gave a nod to Fatman to ring the bell. He pushed the bell and it sounded off more like a buzzer. Lil Nut made a gesture for them to step to either side of the door, so if someone looked out of the peephole they wouldn’t be seen.
Butter and Fatman had no idea why they were doing this. They just followed Lil Nut’s lead. Lil Nut did this out of natural instinct. There was something about the way Fuquan had been missing, and then coming up empty with the re-up money on more than one occasion that made Lil Nut suspicious. Not to mention the fact that no one could catch up to him but the girls in the hallway had just seen him. Lil Nut thought about all of these things, and decided to be on the defensive out of pure street instinct.
“Who is it?” Fuquan shouted when he didn’t see anyone through the peephole.
“It’s Nut,” he said, stepping into view so that Fuquan could see him through the peephole.
Fuquan opened the door to let them all inside.
“What’s up, my niggas!” he shouted, giving everybody a pound as they walked in, all except Lil Nut, who brought up the rear. “What the fuck happened to you?” Fuquan twisted up his face at Nut’s appearance.
“Man, you don’t want to know,” Fatman said as he plopped down onto the sofa. Butter followed behind him and sat on the same sofa.
“Yo, you got some shit I could change into? I need to change my clothes and get this blood off me,” Lil Nut said, walking past Fuquan while looking him up and down. Lil Nut and Fuquan were about the same size and wore the same size sneakers.
“Yeah, I got something you could throw on. Why you holding that gat?”
“’Cause I need to wipe it off first.”
“What happened?” Fuquan’s face showed concern.
He looked at the three of them for answers. No one said a word. Butter and Fatman didn’t say anything because they were waiting for Lil Nut to speak first.
“Nothing, man. I had to stomp this nigga out in the court over this chick—”
Fuquan cut him off. “Wait, let me guess, he disrespected her,” Fuquan said, laughing.
“And you know it,” Butter added.
“Naw, he put his hands on her.” Lil Nut’s eyes narrowed at the slickness of Fuquan’s tongue. Any other time he would have joked with Fuquan about his smart-aleck ways, but today was a different day. Lil Nut was having a hard time figuring out where the other half of their money was, and he wanted answers from Fuquan.
“It figures,” Fuquan said, no longer making eye contact with Lil Nut. He walked away. “Come on, I’ma get you some fresh gear and a washcloth.” He left the room.
“If this nigga ain’t got the bread or the product, I’ma beat his ass down too,” Lil Nut said to Fatman and Butter. Unfortunately for Fuquan, he meant every word.
“Come on, man, that’s our boy. You can’t do that,” Butter whispered to Lil Nut.
“The fuck I can’t. This is business.” Lil Nut left the room.
Butter and Fatman looked at each other and shook their heads.
Lil Nut walked into Fuquan’s room. Fuquan was in the closet searching for some fresh gear for Lil Nut to borrow. He pulled out a pair of Lee jeans and a Nike T-shirt, and laid them on the bed. Lil Nut stood there stone faced.
“Yo, Fu, Fatman said you ain’t got your cut for the re-up.”
“I don’t. I was gonna come by your crib and tell you. My brother got me again for the shit. I know he did this time, because he took the whole shoebox,” Fuquan said as he went to look for a pair of sneakers for Lil Nut to put on. Fuquan had one whole wall lined with sneakers. He tossed Lil Nut a pair of Adidas with shell toes. The sneakers landed next to Lil Nut’s foot.
“I let that shit go the first time, and I even took your advice and didn’t say anything to Red. But I ain’t about to take another loss, and you walking around here like everything is gravy. I hold you responsible for that shit.” Lil Nut pointed his finger at Fuquan.
Fuquan was squatting down looking at the sneakers, but quickly stood upright at Lil Nut’s statement. “Me? How you figure?” Fuquan walked toward Lil Nut with a serious face.
“How I figure? You are responsible for your half, and this is the second time we lost out on money.”
“Yo, we a team. There ain’t no I in team. If the team loses, it’s a team loss,” Fuquan said.
“Naw, man, you lose. ’Cause you the only one who keep fucking up.”
“How you figure I’m fucking up? My brother keep lifting our shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
Lil Nut stood there staring at him as if trying to see through to his soul. He contemplated what Fu had said, and he thought about how he might be overreacting. Fuquan was his boy, and had been his boy since childhood. Lil Nut knew how Red was. Red was no joke.
“A’ight, man, it’s cool. From now on I’m just gonna keep all the shit at my crib,” Lil Nut said.
Fuquan breathed a sigh of relief. “Yo, man, you had me thinking I took the shit. I mean I got some of the loot, but not much. But I got something.” He tried to make light of the situation.
“Naw, that’s a’ight, you keep that. We starting fresh. I’ma let Fatman and Butter rock for a while. You take a break.”
“It’s whatever, man. I’m wit’ it,” Fuquan said.
“A’ight, let me get a washcloth so I can get this shit off me,” Lil Nut said.
“I gotchu,” Fuquan said and walked toward the bedroom door. He stopped and turned around. “Yo, man, thanks, man. We boys for life,” he said and walked out.
***
Three days later Lil Nut sat on a bench in the courtyard of the Langston Hughes housing projects, where he now lived. He and his moms had moved off of Pitkin Avenue after his father was murdered behind the apartment building. It was just too much for both of them to live with.
While Lil Nut waited for Butter and Fatman to come through with the re-up, he read the latest issue of the Wall Street Journal. He had picked up the paper earlier that day when he went to the corner store. The wind was blowing a little harder than normal, but the breeze felt good. Every now and then he looked up, observing his surroundings. Several residents walked by and he acknowledged them with a head nod or a handshake.
He folded the paper and unscrewed the top to a bottle of orange soda. After taking a deep gulp, he burped loudly, then set the bottle back on the bench. He adjusted the two guns he carried—one in the front waistband of his jeans, and the other in the small of his back.
Lil Nut had been thinking about the conversation he and Fuquan had that day in Fuquan’s room. He had been thinking long and hard. That was the type of person he was. He analyzed everything. He would pick apart a situation, bit by bit, until he came up with a sensible solution.
He thought about the past mishaps with Fuquan, and the conversations he’d heard on the streets for the past two days. He told Fuquan that he wasn’t going to say anything to Red,
but after thinking it over, Lil Nut decided to step to Red anyway without Fuquan’s knowledge. His plan was to find Red after the fellas came back with the work and he got them situated. However, opportunity knocked on his door sooner than expected. He spotted Red on the other side of the courtyard purchasing drugs from another local dealer.
Lil Nut sat and watched the transaction, and then his eyes followed Red until he disappeared into one of the buildings. Lil Nut looked at his beeper to check the time, contemplating whether he should leave or stay put. He had told Fatman and Butter that he would meet them where he now sat waiting.
Lil Nut hadn’t seen Fuquan since that day in his apartment. He wasn’t worried too much about that, though, because he now held all the product and money. He just figured Fuquan was still feeling some kind of a way because of the way Lil Nut came at him.
After a few more minutes of thought, Lil Nut got up from the bench. He grabbed the newspaper and the soda bottle. He dropped them both into the garbage can as he walked by it. He was heading in the direction in which Red had gone.
Tim, the dealer who Red bought the product from, was still standing in the same spot he’d been in when Red had approached him.
“Tim,” Lil Nut called.
Tim turned around, saw Nut, and threw up his fist in acknowledgement.
“C’mere, man,” Lil Nut said.
“Hold up,” Tim said, putting up an index finger. Tim served a customer and then placed the money in his pocket. “What’s up?” he asked Lil Nut as he approached him. He shook Lil Nut’s hand.
“Was that Red that copped from you?”
“Yeah, that was him. Yo, I ain’t want to serve him, but he had money. I thought that big nigga was gonna try some shady shit. Feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
“Ain’t he ya peoples?” Tim asked, knowing that Red was Lil Nut’s partner’s brother.
“Yeah, he is. You know where he went?”
“Naw. All I know is he went in there.” Tim pointed to the building Lil Nut had seen Red enter.
“Oh, a’ight.”
“Oh, wait, hold up,” Tim said before Lil Nut could walk away. “Unless he went to the hole,” Tim remembered. “Them fiends be going in the basement. They call it the hole.”
