Wicked Truths

by L A Cotton

But I was.

  I could give Maggie the life she deserved.

  One day, I could give her the whole damn world.

  “Yo, Rob,” I yelled. “Coffee’s hot.”

  “Just a sec.” He sounded as shit as I felt.

  Taking a seat on one of the breakfast stools, I ran my fingers around the coffee mug. Maybe I could take Maggie out for dinner. She loved a little place down by the port. It was romantic without being too much. Or maybe I should go with an activity, something we both enjoyed doing as a way to break the ice.

  When Rob finally dragged his lazy ass out of bed, I’d ask him. He knew I’d always had a soft spot for Maggie, but he never told me to act on it because although he tried to ignore it, he knew how she felt about him.

  Jeez, we were a fucking mess.

  But all that was about to change.

  Hopefully.

  I would take Maggie out and admit how I felt about her, and Rob could continue his attempts at conquering the female population of Wicked Bay.

  “Mornin’,” My best friend’s groggy voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I glanced over at him frowning.

  “Hey, Vinnie.” Maggie smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

  I sat back, the wind knocked from my lungs as my eyes homed in on their hands.

  Their joined fucking hands.

  “Did I miss something?” I choked out, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.

  Rob was shirtless, shorts riding low on his hips and Maggie, my beautiful sweet Maggie was in nothing but a shirt three sizes too big for her.

  Rob’s shirt.

  “So, funny story,” Rob said with that easy smile of his. Except his expression was tight as if he knew he was about to deliver a fatal blow to me.

  “After we managed to wrangle you into bed, great work by the way, we got to talking and well, one thing led to another and...” His words became white noise as I narrowed my eyes at Maggie. She wouldn’t look at me, her gaze darting anywhere but at me. Eventually, she had no choice but to meet my eyes... and in that split second, I knew.

  I knew she’d chosen him.

  And everything I thought had changed between us last night was a lie. Some sick twisted joke my mind had conjured up to taunt me.

  Maggie hadn’t almost kissed me; she hadn’t wrapped her arms around me and whispered that she wished Rob could be more like me because I was so good and nice and dependable.

  I was fucking Mr. Dependable and he was Prince Charming.

  “So, what do you think, man?” Rob’s words sliced through the tension. I hadn’t heard a single thing he’d said in the last minute.

  “I... uh, I’m not going to lie. I’m a bit confused. I thought you didn’t—”

  Panic flashed in his eyes as he cut me off. “We have you to thank really,” he said. “After our little chat, I realized you were right. Maggie is everything I want. I know that now.” He squeezed her hand and she gazed up at him like he hung the moon.

  I felt like I’d been shot through the heart. Pain ripped me in two.

  “Vinnie, say something.” Her voice, fuck, her voice called to me. Even now. Even after what felt like the biggest betrayal of all, her voice still called to me. “I thought you’d be happy for us,” she said quietly. “You knew how I felt about...” Her eyes were telling me things I didn’t want to hear.

  She was sorry.

  It just happened.

  Forgive me.

  I don’t want this to change anything.

  But it did.

  It changed everything.

  I was going to admit how I felt today, ask her to choose me. To finally give me a shot. And instead, life had blown up right in front of my eyes.

  “I’m happy for you, I am.” I forced a smile, almost choking on the lie. “Right, I should probably get home; Mom has this whole celebration dinner planned.”

  “Dinner?” Rob frowned, wrapping his arm around Maggie’s shoulder. Twisting the knife in my back deeper. “It’s like nine in the morning.”

  “Yeah, well, she’ll want me to help no doubt. Thanks... for the coffee.” Shouldering past them, I didn’t expect to feel a hand on my arm.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Maggie asked.

  “If it’s what you both want.” My eyes flicked to Rob. “Then it doesn’t really matter what I think, does it?” Bitterness clung to every word, and Maggie released my arm as if I’d physically burned her. But what did she want me to say?

  Deep down she knew how I felt; she had to. And for as much as I wished last night hadn’t happened, it had. We’d almost crossed a line. Maybe if I hadn’t overdone it on the drinks, we would have. Maybe I would have been the one standing there with my arm wrapped around her shoulder.

  But she hadn’t ended up in my bed, she’d ended up in Rob’s. And from the way they were glued to each other’s sides, they were both obviously elated by it.

  “I think my mom is stopping by later,” Maggie said. “So I’ll see you then?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged, “I’ll catch you later.”

  Then I got the hell out of there.

  Chapter 3

  Vinnie

  Present

  The sun beat down on us, the heat unwelcome and uncomfortable, on a day that was more becoming of dark and dreary weather. I tugged at my collar for the fifth time that morning.

  “Leave it,” my sister swatted my arm. “It’s only for a little while longer.”

  We’d already survived the church service; listened to Reverend Garth as he talked about the celebration of life. But it all felt wrong. Dad wasn’t supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be here, telling me to stop messing with my shirt and telling Shaun to stand up a little straighter. He would have hated the tear-stained eyes, strained smiles and solemn mood.

  At least we were outside now, and I could breathe a little easier.

  Until my eyes found her in the crowd.

  Maggie looked beautiful, albeit with the tears streaking her face. Her once long wavy hair was shorter now, bangs framing her heart-shaped face. She dabbed her eyes with a tissue whispering something to her mom.

  I clenched my fist against my thigh, trying to rein in the deluge of emotions I felt. Grief. So much fucking grief. For Dad. For Mom and my brother and sister. For me. Sadness for all the things Dad would never get to see. All the things I would never get to say to him.

  I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

  Lucii’s hand slipped into mine, squeezing gently. She’d been surprisingly calm yesterday when Shaun and I got home from the bar. My older sister had pulled me in for a hug and whispered how pleased she was to see me. But then, that was Lucii. A ray of sunshine even on the darkest of days.

  My eyes flickered back to Maggie, only this time she was staring right back. My heart stopped, and I gulped down the lump in my throat. There was so much love and compassion and understanding in her soft brown eyes, I wanted to drown in them.

  Suddenly, I wanted to ask her so many questions.

  Why Rob?

  What did he have that I didn’t?

  Had she been happy with him?

  Did she ever think of me?

  Why had he left?

  But I wasn’t here to open old wounds. I was here to say goodbye to my father and be here for my family.

  So although it almost fucking killed me, I dragged my gaze away from her and watched as they lowered the coffin into the ground. “Goodbye, Dad,” I whispered, unable to fight the tears any longer, letting them fall freely down my cheeks.

  Lucii leaned against my shoulder, her gentle sobs cutting me like tiny knives. Mom stood slightly ahead of us, calm and composed. But we all knew it was a front. She was only being strong for us, for Dad. Later, behind closed doors she would mourn. Allow herself to fall apart.

  We each took it in turns to throw a white rose onto the coffin. Shaun took the longest, unable to let go. Eventually, Mom went to him, wrapping her arm around him and whispering soothing wor
ds in his ear. It wasn’t until that moment I realized just how much death affected people. Here we were, three grown adults—Shaun almost twenty-two, me twenty-four, my sister almost twenty-six—and yet, I’d never felt more lost and vulnerable.

  The reverend said his final prayer and the gathered crowd began dispersing. Teresa had helped Mom with the wake, which she had decided to have at The Coastal, a local fancy restaurant and hotel, rather than the house.

  “Come on,” Lucii said, linking her arm through mine. “We should go.”

  Mom didn’t let go of Shaun as we walked to the cars. Jason had Matilda in his arms. “It was a lovely service, Maisie,” he said. “You did Henry proud.”

  “Thank you.” Mom mopped her face before taking Maisie from him. “Give Grandma some sugar.” She planted big wet kisses all over Matilda who giggled with delight.

  “Where Pa?” she asked, and Mom made an awful choking sound.

  “Here, Mom, let me take her.” My sister bundled Matilda into her arms. “Grandpa is sleeping, Princess. Remember we talked about this?”

  “Up air?” She pointed to the sky and Lucii nodded, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her face.

  “Yeah, baby. Up there. But he’s looking down on you; so be a good girl, okay?”

  “Okay.” Matilda snuggled into my sister’s shoulder.

  “We’ll see you back at the house, okay?” Jason helped Lucii and Matilda into their car. When they were gone, Mom hugged Shaun and then me, her arms lingering around my shoulder. “One day soon, you need to come out here and make peace,” she whispered.

  Guilt cinched my heart. “Mom, I—”

  “When you’re ready, Son.” She patted my back. “When you’re ready.”

  THE COASTAL WAS SWARMING with people when we arrived. Teresa quickly swept Mom off, guiding her around the room so that people could offer their condolences.

  “We’re going to feed Matilda.” Lucii kissed my cheek as she passed, her baby bag strewn over her shoulder.

  “You want a beer?” Shaun asked, tipping his head toward the bar.

  “I’m not sure beer is an acceptable drink for a wake.”

  “Whiskey, then? I need something.”

  “Dad always did love a glass of Jack.” I loosened my tie.

  “Listen, man.” His expression turned serious. “There was something I wanted to tell you last night, but you—”

  “Vinnie.”

  Everything stopped.

  Shaun’s words, the low rumble of chatter, the clink of glasses against tables, it all drowned out until I could hear nothing but the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my skull. The thud thud thud of blood between my ears.

  My eyes shuttered as I inhaled a ragged breath, a lifetime of memories hitting me like a tsunami.

  “I, uh... I’ll be at the bar.” Shaun shot me an apologetic look before taking off and leaving me with Maggie.

  I turned slowly, my eyes sweeping down her body of their own volition. When they settled on her face, I didn’t miss the slight flush to Maggie’s cheeks.

  Shit, what was I doing?

  “I’m so sorry,” she said. “How are you? I mean, obviously you’re not good, your dad just died.” She gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth. “Crap, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I guess I’m just nervous and I can’t stop talking and okay, this is getting awkward—”

  “Breathe, Mags,” I said, finally putting her out of her misery. “You need to breathe.”

  “Breathe, right.” She inhaled deeply, the smattering of pink along her cheeks now a deep shade of red.

  “Okay?”

  “I think so, yeah.” Maggie smoothed the hair out her face. “Hi.” She gave me a shy smile.

  “Hi.” I jammed my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her.

  It was funny. I’d spent most of my teenage years keeping myself in check. Looking but never touching. And now she was standing here, a woman, and my first instinct was to touch her.

  “This is weird, isn’t it?” Her eyes lowered. “It’s been a long time, Vinnie.”

  Too long, I wanted to say, but I swallowed the words. I wasn’t looking for a trip down memory lane. Not today.

  “How have you been?”

  “Okay.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Things are good.”

  “I heard about you and...” His name lodged in my throat. “I’m sorry,” I added trying to sound genuine. I didn’t like that she’d potentially been hurt at the hands of my ex-best friend. But my innate caveman wanted to roar, ‘told you so’.

  “Yeah, it’s been hard, but I’m making the best of it. Mom’s been great, helping out with—” Maggie’s purse started vibrating.

  “I’ll let you get that.” From the incessant bleeping, it sounded important.

  “Okay, but I’d really like to catch up.” She was flustered now, and it was so fucking cute. “If you want, I mean. God, Vinnie, it’s so good seeing you.” Maggie’s gaze lingered on my face for a second before she blinked, answered the call and started toward the exit, leaving me to catch my breath.

  “Here.” Shaun shoved a drink into my hand, “Looks like you could use this.”

  “Thanks.” I knocked the amber liquid down in one, relishing the afterburn.

  “You two seemed... chatty.”

  “Honestly.” I shook my head. “I have no idea what just happened.”

  “She told you then?”

  “Told me? About what?” My brows pinched as I searched the door for any signs of her.

  “Oh shit, she didn’t—”

  “Shaun?” My head whipped around to his. “What is going on?”

  But a child’s cries pierced the air, and everyone began to look toward the door. It all happened in slow motion. Maggie walked into the room, a baby propped on her hip, the cute little thing red in the face and wailing like the world was about to end.

  “Who’s the ba...? No.” I breathed. But when her eyes found mine across the room, a mask of regret plastered over her face, I knew.

  That thing my brother hadn’t yet told me, the thing Maggie had been about to tell me, was hysterical in her arms.

  Her mother’s arms.

  “Shit, I should have told you.”

  “You think?” I hissed at my brother, unable to tear my eyes from Maggie as she tried to pacify the tiny human cradled in her arms.

  “You never wanted to talk about them, and Mom said we should leave you to—”

  “Mom knew about this?” It was a stupid thing to say. Of course Mom knew, she had practically helped raise Maggie. But I was so caught off guard, I didn’t know what to think.

  “Is it...?” Nope. I couldn’t even say it.

  “Yeah. It happened right after you left.”

  “And he walked away?”

  “I’m not entirely sure what happened, but I get the impression it didn’t end well. Teresa told Mom some stuff—”

  “What stuff?”

  “Maybe we should do this later, yeah? Back at the house?”

  Shaun was right. Now was not the time or place, but my world had just been blown to shit and I didn’t know how to deal. So I said, “I’m going to need another one of those.” I eyed my brother’s glass. “In fact,” I added, taking off toward the bar, pulling my tie clean off and flicking my top two buttons open. “Ask for the whole damn bottle.”

  Chapter 4

  Maggie

  Bouncing Belle in my arms, I watched Vinnie as he and Shaun negotiated a bottle of whiskey from the bartender. He didn’t look too pleased at handing it over, but after Vinnie slipped his wallet out and slid him a wad of notes, the transaction seemed less fraught.

  I wanted to believe they were just drinking away their sorrows; grief for a man who was like a second father to me. But I’d seen the surprise—the sheer hurt—in his eyes when he’d spotted Belle. God, everything was so screwed up. I’d almost called Vinnie a hundred times over the last week. His father was gone. And he’d never had a chance to fi
x things between them. All because of you. Now on what I imagined was one of the worst days of his life, I’d only made things worse. Because if the look on his face was anything to go by, Vinnie didn’t know about Belle.

  Belle grabbed my face, demanding my attention. “Mama,” she cooed. “Mama.”

  “Hi, baby. Have you calmed down now?” I leaned in, squishing my nose against hers, and her baby-laughter filled the air.

  “There’s my princess.” Mom rushed over, scooping Belle out of my arms. “What happened?” She glanced at me.

  “Portia couldn’t settle her.”

  “Again?” She scoffed. “Really, Maggie, it’s time you found someone more adept at caring for her. I can place an advert—”

  “No, Mom, we talked about this. I don’t want a stranger looking after her.” Portia was family, my younger cousin. I trusted her, and Belle loved her, most of the time. But Portia struggled with the tears and since Rob left, there had been a lot. It was like she knew her daddy was gone, which was ironic given he hadn’t exactly been father-of-the-year when he’d been around.

  Mom gave me a pointed look. “Well, something’s got to give, sweetheart. Because this little one needs routine. And you need that job.”

  “Thanks for the reminder.” I grimaced.

  “Oh, Maggie, I didn’t—”

  “I got it, Mom.”

  I loved her, I did. And her and Dad had been great since Rob left, but she still thought I was fourteen years old with an impulsive shopping habit and total disregard for financial security. She did have a point. If I wanted to keep the house, I needed to pay the bills, and I couldn’t do that with a thirteen-month-old attached to my hip. My boss, Brennan, didn’t advocate bring-your-baby-to-work day.

  “Sweetheart, look at me.” I reluctantly met her apologetic gaze. “You don’t have to do this alone. We already told you, you and Belle can come live with us, just until you get back on your feet.”

  “I appreciate it, Mom, I do. So much. But that’s my home. All of Belle’s firsts happened inside those walls.” Her first tooth, the first time she rolled, sat up, even crawled. And she’d just started cruising the furniture. “It’s ours.”