by L A Cotton
“I shouldn’t have just left, I should have—”
“Vinnie, no. This is not on you.” Maggie sniffled, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palm. “The truth is, Rob wasn’t ready. He thought he wanted me and a serious relationship. But I realize now, he didn’t.”
That sounded more like the Rob I knew. Back in high school he’d been notorious for dating girls and then dumping them when things started to get too serious. But this wasn’t some girl with a high school crush; it was Maggie for fuck’s sake.
“I want to hate him,” she whispered. “I want to pray he stays in Long Beach and never comes back. But how can I do that to Belle? He’s her father. And she deserves to know him. For him to be around for her.” Tears gushed from her eyes, and it was my undoing. I shuffled across the couch and pulled her into my arms.
“He’s a fool, Mags, and one day, when it’s too late, he’ll realize what he gave up.”
Her arms slid around me, hugging me back, as she buried her face into my shoulder.
“Gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break down on you.” Maggie pulled away.
“You don’t need to apologize. I’m glad you told me.” I smiled, swallowing down my own emotion.
“It’s not all bad,” she added. “I’ve got a good job at Beckett and Howser.”
“The law firm?
She nodded. “I’m training to be a legal secretary. It’s not easy balancing that and taking care of Belle, but they’re really flexible with me and understand my circumstances.”
“That’s great, Mags.”
Her brows pinched. “Yeah, although Belle is really unsettled at the minute. It’s making it tough on Portia.”
“Portia, your cousin?”
“Yeah, she’s been helping me with Belle. Between her and Mom, I usually manage.”
There was something she wasn’t saying, hidden beneath her words. But as I was about to ask, the baby monitor lit up, Belle’s cries blaring through the speaker.
“I should go see to her.” Maggie stood up, brushing her hands down her jeans. “It’s okay if you want to stick—"
“Actually,” I said, “I should probably leave.”
“Oh, okay.” Disappointment flitted over her face.
“I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“Vinnie, you could never...”
“Thanks for lunch, and the chat. I never thought we’d get this, but I’m glad we did.”
Maggie’s expression softened, and I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and enjoy the feel of her pressed up close to me again. But I was confused.
Being around her again was so fucking confusing.
“Maybe we can have coffee before you leave?” Her eyes sparkled with hope.
“I’d like that, Mags.” Without thinking, I closed the distance between us and rested my hands loosely on her hips. In another time and place, the way she gazed up at me would have been everything. It was another time but so much had changed.
Belle’s cries grew with intensity and Maggie let out an exasperated sigh. “I really should—”
“Okay.” I leaned down, pressing my lips to her head. It physically hurt to let her go, knowing that we might never have this again. Because Maggie’s life was here, in Wicked Bay. She had a life, Belle, this house, and a good job. And my life was back in LA. To think I could just show up and slot right back into my old life was foolish.
Maggie disappeared out of the room leaving me standing there. She’d asked me to stay. To be here when she came back with Belle. But it felt like crossing a line.
A line I wasn’t sure I should cross.
A line I wasn’t sure I was ready to cross.
I NEVER STAYED.
Before Maggie came back downstairs, I left her house and called Shaun. He came without question, and that’s how we ended up at Buck’s down by the port.
“I can’t believe you went to her house.” He gave me weary look as he took a pull on his beer.
“What was I supposed to do? Belle was hysterical and Mags had groceries everywhere. I couldn’t just walk on by.”
“Belle, it’s Belle now?” His brow rose.
“She’s a cute kid.”
“She’s Rob’s kid, you get that right? I know the two of you have history, but this isn’t your problem to fix.”
“I helped her out; it was nothing.”
But it wasn’t nothing.
It was something.
“You can lie to me all you want, but don’t lie to yourself, Vin. You’re not over her and I get it, I do. You two always did have that childhood friends bond thing going on. But this is a shit storm waiting to happen.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know this isn’t my fight. But it’s Maggie, Shaun. I couldn’t just walk away.”
My brother shook his head, running a hand down his face. “So what happens now?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. He just left them. I want to—”
“Hey now, you just said you know it’s not your fight. He’s gone now, sure, but what if he turns back up and wants to fix things? They have a kid together. A kid. Are you hearing me?”
I pressed my lips together, suppressing the urge to argue. Of course I knew Belle was Rob’s. I wasn’t looking to fill that void. It had been less than twenty-four hours since I saw Mags again and I already didn’t know which way was up.
“Look,” Shaun said, “All I’m saying is be careful. She’s hurting and you’re grieving. It’s not the best combination. And I know you told Mom you’ll be sticking around for a while, but then you’ll go back to LA and forget all about us.”
“Shaun, come on, that isn’t fair. I didn’t—”
“I needed you, man. I needed you and you couldn’t be here because of them. So to see you already falling ass over elbow to help her the second you’re back...” He ran a hand down his face as the blood drained from my face. “Shit, Vin, I didn’t... that wasn’t what—”
“I don’t need to listen to this shit.” I leaped up, cutting him with an icy glare. “I’ll see you later.”
“Vin, come on,” he called after me, but I was already shouldering the door and spilling out onto the sidewalk.
I came back to Wicked Bay to pay my respects to Dad and make amends with my family. But Shaun was right, the second I saw Maggie, everything else became secondary.
It always had.
And maybe that was my problem.
Chapter 8
Vinnie
Two years ago
I spotted Rob across the bar, hunched over his beer. Anger rippled up my spine as I made my way over to him.
“You came,” he said. “I didn’t know if—”
“You wanted to talk?” I cut him off.
“Shit, man, I don’t know where to start.”
Sliding into the booth, I flattened my palm against the table. “Perhaps you could start with what the fuck happened last night? I asked you. I looked you in the eye and asked if you were ever going to give her a chance and you said no.” My body trembled as I ground out the words.
“I didn’t plan it, I swear.” His eyes pleaded with me. “We were all having such a good time and I saw the two of you together, cuddled up, laughing and joking and it was like a fucking epiphany or something.”
I snorted. “So you what? Thought you’d ruin any chance I had of ever getting the girl? The girl I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.”
“Fuck.” Rob jammed his fingers into his hair and tugged. “Fuck, I swear, man. It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. I never ever wanted to hurt you.”
“So walk away,” I deadpanned, my blood boiling. “Tell her it was a mistake.”
His eyes widened with disbelief and I knew what he thought. I wasn’t this person; cold and callous. I would never purposefully want to hurt Maggie. But he’d ruined everything. He’d given her exactly what she’d always wanted, and I’d faded back into the background again.
“Vin, come on, man. You don’t mean that.
I know you’re hurting, but this is Maggie we’re talking about.”
I averted my gaze, unable to look at him. To see myself reflected back at me through his eyes. Because he was right; this wasn’t me. No matter how much I was hurting, how devastated I was that Rob had stolen my one shot out from under me, I could never hurt her.
“You really like her?” I asked, finally looking at him.
“I mean, it’s Maggie. I’ve known her forever. But something changed last night. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I think there’s something there. Plus, she, hmm...” His brows pinched, hesitation clouding his eyes.
“She what?”
“She told me she loved me.”
Fuck.
Just when I thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, he delivered the final blow.
They hadn’t only slept together; Maggie had confessed her true feelings. Given him the three little words I wanted to claim as my own.
She loved him.
I’d always known her feelings ran deep for Rob, the way my feelings ran deep for her. But this changed everything.
It didn’t just pull the plug on my plans to tell her how I really felt, it buried them six feet under with no hopes of resurrection.
“And you’re what,” I spat, feeling my anger levels rise. “Suddenly, all in?”
“I don’t know, man. Maybe it’s time to settle down?”
“Settle down, you? Really? The guy who fucks like it’s an Olympic sport? Maggie deserves better than that, and you know it.”
“I’ll change for her, treat her right. I know it’s a shock, but I don’t want this to get in the way of things between us, Vin. You’re my best friend. Maggie needs you. We need you.”
I let out an exasperated breath, staring at him with complete disbelief. “You mean you need me to stick around to make sure you don’t screw this up? Yeah, thanks.” I jerked upright. “But no thanks. I’m done.”
“D- done. What do you mean you’re done?” Panic flashed in his eyes.
“I love her. I’m in love with her and you think I’m just going to stand by and watch while you break her heart? Not going to happen.”
“Vin, come on. What are you going to do? We all live here. We’re going to see each other all the time. I don’t want to get in between you and Maggie. That was never my intention.”
“Yeah, well, you should have thought about that before you slept with her. Have a nice life, Rob.” I didn’t stick around to hear his excuses. Rob had made his choice and Maggie had made hers.
And now I had to make mine.
“LEAVING? BUT YOU CAN’T leave,” Mom said, her eyes as wide as saucers. “You start work in two weeks. Your father is—”
“What’s going on in here?” My dad walked into the kitchen, his eyes set into thin lines as he observed me and Mom arguing.
“It’s nothing, Henry, Vincent is just having a—”
“I’m leaving,” I said firmly. “I’m sorry, Dad. I know I’m supposed to be coming on board next month, but I can’t be here right now.”
“Calm down, Son, and talk to us. What happened?”
My eyes lowered to the floor. “Maggie and Rob... they...” I choked over the words lodged in my throat.
“Oh, Vincent.” Mom was on me in a second, wrapping me into her arms. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” She eased away to look at me. “But you always knew she liked him. It doesn’t mean you have to leave. This is your home. We only just got you back.”
“I can’t do it, Mom. I can’t be here and watch them fall in love. It’ll kill me.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “It’s already killing me. I love her, Mom. I love her so much and she chose him. She... loves him.”
“I know, Vin, I know. But she’s your best friend. Isn’t having her in your life better than not having her at all? Don’t let this destroy everything, sweetheart.” She pressed her palms against my cheeks. “You’re stronger than that.”
But I wasn’t.
Seeing them standing there together this morning in Rob’s kitchen had killed a part of me. Now it was a dark festering hole that I knew, over time, would only grow. If I had to see them together, watch their love story play out in front of me, I’d lose myself completely. And right now, myself was all I had left.
“I can’t do it. I’m sorry.” My gaze flicked to Dad who was watching us with quiet contemplation. “I know you were excited about the future, Dad, but I need to take some time.”
“Where will you go?” he asked, ignoring everything I’d just said.
“Back to LA. I already spoke to a couple of the guys. They have a spare room I can take. I’ll find some work. Figure stuff out.”
Dad stared at me; his expression unreadable.
“Say something, Henry,” Mom urged. “For Christ’s sake, say something.”
“Vincent is a grown man, Maisie. He’s quite capable of making his own decisions. I only hope you know what you’re giving up, Son. I love Maggie like a daughter, you know that, but is she really worth giving up everything for?”
He didn’t get it.
Dad had his happily-ever-after. He had Mom and a solid marriage, and a doting family. But what he didn’t realize was, that’s all I’d ever wanted too. I’d watched my parents grow older together, watched them fall more and more in love every day. I wanted that.
And I wanted it with Maggie.
It had always been a long shot, but there had always been a tiny seed of hope.
Now that had been obliterated into irreparable shards and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I didn’t know how to see past my anger and regret and bitterness.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, my decision made.
I needed to get out of Wicked Bay until I could move on.
Until I could put Maggie Stark where she belonged—in my past.
Chapter 9
Maggie
Present
Things went back to normal after that. I went back to work. Portia continued to help with Belle, and Mom continued to hound me about finding better childcare arrangements. It was like Vinnie never came back. As if I’d dreamed up his entire reappearance in my life. I didn’t see him or hear from him, and although I knew it was probably for the best, I missed him.
I missed my best friend so much it hurt. The hole he’d created when he left ripped open again, growing deeper and deeper with every passing minute.
“Maggie, call for you on line three.” Darcy, the secretary, called from across the office. I frowned over at her and she shrugged. People usually called my direct line if they needed me.
“Excuse me, Mike,” I said to one of the junior partners. “I need to take this.” I kept my smile easy despite the unease I felt.
Once inside my small office, I closed the door and picked up the receiver. “Hello, Maggie speaking.”
“Mags?” I flinched at Rob’s gruff voice.
“What are you doing calling my office?” I hissed. “I have a cell phone, use it.”
“I, hmm, I lost my cell. I didn’t know your number, so I looked up the firm on Google.”
My eyes shuttered as I inhaled a deep breath. “Rob, you can’t call here, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I just... shit, everything’s so messed up, Mags.”
“Please, don’t call me that.” It was Vinnie’s nickname for me and sounded all wrong coming from Rob’s lips.
“How is she?”
“How do you think she is? She misses her father.”
“You think she knows?”
“Of course she knows. You were here and now you’re not. She hardly settles for Portia since you left.”
“Fuck.”
Yeah, fuck. I rubbed my temples.
“What do you want, Rob?” He sounded hungover or high. He’d never done that shit around me or Belle, but Rob always liked to party and I knew he’d gone to stay with his cousins in Long Beach.
“I... shit, I don’t know. Things got a little out of control last night and there wa
s this girl. She reminded me of you.”
Bile rushed up my throat and I retched. “You called up to tell me you fucked some skank that reminded you of me? You disgust m—”
“Whoa, calm down. I wasn’t... I didn’t...” He groaned. “That’s not what I’m saying. Nothing happened, I swear. She just reminded me of you, and I got to thinking about us.”
“There is no us,” I said flatly. “You made sure of that when I found out you’d cheated on me and you left instead of owning up to your mistake.”
“But that’s just it, Mags... shit, I mean Maggie. It was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake that’s cost me everything.”
I glanced out of my window, hoping no one was prying. In a place like Beckett and Howser, conversations were rarely private, and this wasn’t one I particularly wanted my colleagues to overhear. Not when I was desperately trying to keep my job.
“Yeah, well, you should have thought about that before. If you’re calling to talk about your daughter, then fine, I’ll talk. But there is no us, Rob.” I’d been burned once by him, but he wouldn’t get a second chance.
“You don’t mean that,” he went on, sounding desperate now. “I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you need to hear?”
A knock on the door startled me and I called, “Just a minute. I can’t do this right now. I’m at work, Rob. Work. You might want to look up that word for once.”
“Mags, come on—”
“I have to go. Don’t call here again.” I slammed the receiver down and gave myself a second to catch my breath. Pasting on my best smile, I opened the door. “Mr. Howser, can I help you?”
“Is everything okay? Darcy said you got a personal call on line three?” Darcy needed to keep her nose out of other people’s business.
“Oh, that? It was nothing. Just my babysitter, letting me know I’d left my cell phone at home.” I inwardly prayed it was at the bottom of my bag on silent.
“Oh, well, okay then. We try to accommodate your... situation as much as possible, Maggie, but I really can’t have you taking personal calls on the office line.”
