by Anna Castor
Obviously, his rejection of her love already ruined their friendship. Standing at the crossroads, they could further drift apart or Declan could finally listen to that whisper in the back of his head.
Bree grabbed the door handle. She narrowed her eyes and said, “I don’t get you. How do you figure it’s okay to come over after one of your dates? I’ve told you how I feel about you. It’s so insensitive. And rude. Here I thought Ronan was the asshole twin…”
With that parting shot, Bree slammed the door shut.
“Open up, Bree. It’s not what you think.”
She didn’t respond. He whipped out his phone and dialed her number. She didn’t pick up; instead she turned off her phone and the ringing behind the door stopped.
“Shit.”
“Oh, that always breaks my heart,” Kate said.
Bree glanced up from her hands, trying to unstick Billy’s dinosaur jacket from his zipper. She peered over St. Helena’s Kindergarten’s schoolyard and searched for whatever Kate meant.
A flailing Tommy shouted, “I’m not going. You can’t make me!”
Declan’s cousin Keenan held his son Tommy in his arms and rubbed his back while whispering to him.
“Can you take over Billy’s zipper from me?”
“Sure.” Kate took Bree’s place in front of the five-year-old.
“Thanks, Kate. I’ll be right back, Billy.”
“Okay,” Billy said.
Bree took a few steps in Tommy’s direction before he noticed her. He wormed himself from Keenan’s hold and ran into Bree’s waiting arms.
Tommy snuggled into Bree’s chest and said, “I don’t wanna go.”
Bree lowered Tommy and got down on one knee in front of him.
“I’m so glad you’re here. I know it’s your first day today, and you’re probably scared. But you know me, Tommy, and I’m so happy to have you in my class.”
Tommy grabbed the end of his sleeve and wiped the snot from his upper lip. “I still don’t wanna go.”
“I know, Tommy. But we’re going to have so much fun, I promise.”
“Hi, Bree.”
Bree broke eye contact with Tommy to meet Keenan’s worried eyes.
“Hey, Keenan. How are you?”
“Long time no see, Squirt.” Keenan’s upper lip pulled because he knew how much she hated the nickname his cousins gave Bree.
“At school, my name is Bree. Miss Bree, for Tommy.”
She placed her hand on Tommy’s shoulder and winked at Tommy.
“Miss Bree?”
“Yes, Tommy. When we’re at school, I’m your teacher and every student calls me Miss Bree.”
Tommy scrunched his nose. “Dad and uncle Declan didn’t tell me.”
The mention of Declan left a searing pain in her heart. She’d ignored his calls and texts for two days. But after he kept calling her, she was afraid he would show up on her doorstep again. So she finally told him he needed to give her some space.
Declan’s audacity baffled her. After months of ignoring her, he finally took the effort to seek her out. And for a moment, she’d let her hopes run away with her, thinking he really missed them being an us.
But then it clicked. Declan had been going around town on dates, while she was at home nursing her broken heart.
It had been the final straw when she realized he only meant he missed her as a friend. Declan would never love her like she loved him.
Although she’d pined over him these last months, she now agreed that he did the right thing by keeping his distance. Because the moment she opened the door and gazed into his gray eyes again, her heart whispered, ‘He’s here. He’s finally ready to love me back.’
All her hopes shattered for a second time, leaving her numb. The one man she thought would never hurt her, did exactly that.
“Tommy, I know you’ll have fun in Miss Bree’s class,” Keenan winked at Bree, “So, let’s get you inside. Uncle Aiden is waiting for me.”
“I want to go with you,” Tommy’s bottom lip trembled.
Keenan pulled Tommy in for a hug and tears filled the man’s eyes. Working at construction sites all day made Keenan a bulk of a man. Seeing him swallow back his emotions had Bree joining him as she swallowed a big lump in her throat.
Keenan wasn’t just another parent bringing their child for their first day at school. Keenan and Tommy felt like family. As a kid, Bree had spent more time with the Mills brothers and cousins than she did at home.
Seeing Keenan on the brink of crying had Bree almost joining father and son with her own waterworks. Bree swallowed again and stepped over to Tommy.
She ruffled his blonde hair and leaned in. “Can I tell you a secret, Tommy?”
Tommy stopped sobbing for a moment and tilted his head so he could nod.
“You’ll not like school all the time. Sometimes, school’s stupid. And that’s okay.”
“Bree.” Keenan arched one brow.
“It’s true, Keen. I know you always hated school.”
Keenan’s raven hair brushed his frowned forehead as he titled his head. He narrowed his green eyes and stared her down from his six foot three.
“You’re not helping here, Squirt.”
Tommy giggled.
“Why did Dad hate school?”
“Because he’d rather help grandpa Niall. He wanted to build houses instead,” Bree said, and smiled at the memory of a young Keenan walking around with a hand-me-down tool belt from his father.
Tommy grabbed his father’s arm and jumped on the spot.
“I want to go with you, Dad. I wanna build a house too.”
Keenan gave Bree a pointed look.
“Now look what you’ve done.”
But Bree wasn’t discouraged. “Do you know what your dad did?”
“No?” Tommy’s eyes went over from Bree to Keenan and back again.
“He sucked it up and went to school, and so will you.” Keenan grumbled.
“What did he do, Miss Bree?”
Bree smiled at Tommy, already picking up on addressing her with Miss.
“He made a lot of friends at school. And some of those friends are still in his life. And you know what? You’ll make a lot of friends here too. Think about all the play dates and fun you’ll have with some new friends.”
She never could tell a lie to save her life. So yes, school would probably suck sometimes and she wouldn’t tell Tommy otherwise. As a teacher, Bree brought the kids in her class up to speed with the alphabet or the difference between a square and a rectangle.
But what really brought a smile on her face were the moments she could help the kids whenever life threw rocks into their ponds to ripple the surface. She wanted to guide them.
Perhaps that’s the reason she’d become a teacher. To help other little Bree’s who need a listening ear and a soft guiding hand while growing up. Her dad sure hadn’t been around. And her mother? Well, ‘complicated’ and ‘demanding’ couldn’t begin to cover a description of her mom.
“That’s right, son. I’m still friends with a lot of kids from my school.” Keenan wanted to say something else, but his phone interrupted him. He glanced at the screen and declined the call.
“I need to get going, Tommy. Aiden’s calling to see where I am and I’m sure Miss Bree wants to start her class.”
Bree watched Kate take over her kids for a few minutes as she stood watch in the hallway and directed both classes to go take their seats. It often came in handy as their classrooms sat side by side.
“Come, Tommy. Let me show you to our classroom.”
Bree plopped down in her chair and kicked off her black pumps under her desk. Today had been a good day with a lot of small victories. Anthony finally asked Bree for her help with his alphabet assignment. And Tommy made a friend on his first day after an hour of sitting on the side, watching others play and work.
A soft knock on her wide-open door drew Bree’s eyes to her colleague Craig. He often checked in with her after school
hours.
“Had a good day?” He walked into the classroom and perched himself upon two tiny desks in front of Bree’s desk. Craig resembled a linebacker, so it was probably for the best he divided his weight over the two desks.
“Yeah, I had the best day. And you?”
Craig’s eyes lingered on Bree’s hair when she tried to tuck another unruly strand of hair into her ponytail. Her bouncy curls were all over the place today and she remembered she needed to pick up some new curl creams.
He cleared his throat and said, “Yes. It was great. We had a lot of fun with the sensory bins.”
“Oooh, did you use the props?” Bree leaned in and for a moment she thought Craig eyed her cleavage. She instantly sat up straight again.
Craig laughed and said, “Yeah. Those fake spiders and lizards were a hit.”
“Good.”
A moment of silence passed, and Bree wondered if Craig waited to ask her something. He shifted on the desks and cleared his throat.
“So, I wanted to ask you something.” He held up his palm and waved. “And it’s perfectly fine to say no….”
Bree’s heart almost beat out of her chest. Craig loved to joke with Bree ever since he first started working with her two years ago. He flirted, she laughed it off.
But one night, about three months ago when she was still heartbroken about Declan, he gave her a brief kiss after a faculty softball game. She’d regretted the moment Craig’s lips had touched hers, and she instantly had backed away. Craig hadn’t flirted with her since.
She let her eyes take her fill of his muscular arms, his broad chest and finally, his tanned, smiling face. In front of Bree sat a total opposite of Declan. Maybe she had been stupid to dismiss him so easily after that kiss.
Craig is blonde where Declan has black hair.
Craig is bulky. And although Declan’s twin Ronan is bulky, Declan is more lean and muscular.
But most of all, Craig was interested in her, and Declan was not.
“I’ll go out with you,” she blurted.
He laughed and said, “I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your pattern snakes to work on with Liv tomorrow. But hey, if a date’s on the table, I’ll take it.”
She smiled at his joke. “Right.”
“I really wasn’t going to ask you out on a date.” Craig placed a hand on the back of his neck and gave her a pained expression.
“Why not?” Bree placed a hand in front of her mouth, as she couldn’t believe how snotty she sounded.
Craig laughed and said, “That night we sort of kissed in Lucky… I ehm, I got the feeling you wasn’t really into it?” His cheeks colored red.
“Oh.” What was she to say? He nailed it right on the head. She wasn’t into him at the time. But maybe she could be now? Things could grow, right?
He shifted on the desks. “Look, I then asked Kate about your friend.”
“My friend?” Bree scrunched her nose.
“Yeah, that cop who hates my guts.”
Bree giggled but hastily cleared her throat when Craig didn’t laugh along with her.
“Sorry. He doesn’t hate you. You two don’t even know each other.”
“Well, I’ve seen him a few times in that Irish pub and he’s always watching you and giving me the stink eye. I wanted to check with Kate that I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes. She’d said it was a long story, so that wasn’t really encouraging.”
“I’m sorry, Craig. I guess in retrospect, my heart was indeed with Declan.”
Why did she have to tell him that? He must find her so attractive as she pined over some other guy. Geez. She had no idea how to play the dating game. Bree had reluctantly dated some guys in college. It was right after Declan asked his ex, Susanna, to be his girlfriend.
A petite blonde with no spunk, Susanna had been the total opposite of Bree. Whenever Bree talked to Declan on the phone while away at college, she zoned out the stories about Susanna. When he’d broken things off with the blonde after six months, Bree hoped things would turn around and he would finally see her differently.
She came home for the summer to find Declan dating a doppelganger of Bree. That hurt even more. Because then she’d asked herself if he wanted someone like Bree, he could have picked her. So what was wrong with her? Why didn’t he want her?
Bree got back from college and worked at St. Helena’s Kindergarten. Declan didn’t have a girlfriend in the past few years, and they grew even closer as friends. Bree had fought a long internal battle before she finally confessed her love for him last March.
“And is your heart still with him?”
She shook her head. She didn’t think so.
“But my heart is still healing. I want to be honest with you, Craig. I’m still getting over him and it will take me some time. So, I’ll understand if you’d rather blow this whole thing off. I know you didn’t want to ask me out. Forget I said anything.”
She slipped her feet in her heels under her desk and pushed out of her chair. She needed to get out of here. She grabbed her bag and walked in the door's direction. Craig halted her as he stepped in her way.
“I’m picking you up at seven on Friday. We’ll do something fun. Okay? We’ll take things slow. But I can’t let you walk out of this door without giving us a shot.”
Bree’s cheeks heated when Craig leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on her lips. She tilted her head to get better access and they bumped noses.
“Oomph, sorry,” she said.
Bree placed her fingers on her lips.
He smiled at her. “No worries. I’m sure sparks will fly on Friday.”
“Why didn’t you tell Emmy to hold the onion rings? Yer always stinkin’—”
“Shut your face, Dec. And while you’re at it, take a walk. Against the nearest tree,” Caitlin said.
She slammed the passenger door to their patrol car shut. Declan winced. He had to stop baiting Bree’s oldest sister. It wasn’t Cait’s fault Bree wanted nothing to do with him.
It had been almost a week since that night he showed up at her apartment. Bree still ignored him and had asked him for some space.
Cait shifted in her seat and buckled up. After rummaging around in the green takeaway bag with the yellow Lucky logo, she handed Declan his shot of cholesterol.
“Thanks.” He unfolded the foil and bit down into the warm bun. He closed his eyes and groaned at the rich taste. Ever since his cousin Emmy worked as a chef at his family’s pub The Lucky Irishman, Declan and his partner Caitlin detoured several times a week to grab some lunch from Lucky.
The grease of the juicy hamburger trickled down the corner of his mouth. Declan wiped it away with his thumb and licked it clean.
“Why can’t you eat a hamburger like a normal person?”
Declan laughed with his mouth full.
Caitlin’s sneer warped into a wide smile as she watched him make a fool out of himself by dropping some pickles from his mouth onto his lap. Luckily, they fell on his napkin. He took the pickles in between his thumb and index finger and slurped it into his mouth.
“I never understood what Bree saw in you.”
Cait joked, but it soured him right up. He wrapped his half-eaten burger back up in its foil. She placed a hand on his arm. “Sorry.”
“I’m sorry too for causing this whole situation. I know I’ve said I wanted to avoid all talk about Bree. But I need to know, since she doesn’t let me in anymore; how’s she holding up?”
Cait’s light blue eyes shifted from his to the windshield and back to him. “I… I’m not sure what to tell you, Dec.”
“You can answer my question.” Declan took a sip of coke from his white straw and eyed Cait as she bit her fingernail.
“Well… erm, yeah.”
“Ah, spit it out, Ryan.”
Caitlin rolled her eyes. He knew she hated it when he called her by her last name like everyone else at their precinct did. Perhaps because they grew up together, it seemed distant somehow.
“Okay, Mills. You asked for it. Bree is going out on a date with Craig.”
He sucked in a breath and waited for the sudden nausea to pass. His throat felt tight and his heart pounded against his chest.
“Craig? Who’s Craig?”
Caitlin shifted in her seat to grab her drink. She sure took her time answering as she slowly brought the straw to her lips. She reached the almost empty bottom of her drink, making slurping sounds that irritated the fuck out of him.
Finally done, she said, “Her colleague. You know the one… it’s that buff guy.”
His eyes went wide. “That blonde fucker?”
“Yep.” Caitlin seemed highly entertained by Declan’s reaction. She took a bite out of her stinking onion ring and waved the half-eaten thing in his face.
“Time to wake the fuck up, Mills. For all the hurt your stupid ass caused by turning her down, you deserve to do some groveling.”
Rejecting Bree’s love for him had been the right thing to do. It hadn’t been easy, but life isn’t easy. Right?
“You know why I turned her down, Cait.”
Caitlin propped the remaining piece in her mouth and huffed.
“You know why…” he repeated.
Caitlin snagged another onion ring from the bag and narrowed her eyes at him.
“Pff. You’re just scared. And let me tell you: scared isn’t a good look on you, Dec.”
His brother Brennan had said the exact thing. Declan gazed out of the windshield and his eyes followed an elderly couple passing their patrol car.
The only Mills brother who had supported him in this whole situation had been Ronan. His twin said Declan had dodged a bullet by turning down a Ryan girl. It should have been the first clue he’d made a mistake when only Ronan supported his decision.
“You know how it worked out between Ro and Fi. Fianna even went as far as moving to Colorado for a while to live with my uncle Frank’s family.”
“So?” Caitlin cocked a brow.
“So? So, I didn’t want to lose Bree as a friend when all would have turned to shit.”
“Who said anything about things ending between you and my sister? For all you know, you two might have lived to be a hundred together. I still can’t believe you didn’t trust your gut. You just went along with whatever Ro was spewing. I don’t understand how you two are even twins. Unlike Ronan, you would never hurt my sister. At least, you didn’t before you turned her down.”
