by Anna Castor
Joan sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve done everything I could to show you girls you can achieve anything you set your minds to. I don’t want you to end up in a situation like I did when your father left us. Now that I’m away a lot, I feel like the time we do have together, I should guide you.”
Gwenn hugged Joan. “We just need you to love and support us. Believe me, I know I need to step up my game. But just… give me some time. It’s only been a few weeks since I’m back. You have no idea what I’ve been through.”
They ended their hug and before Joan could say anything, Gwenn said, “I’m not ready. Maybe I’ll never be ready to talk about it.”
Joan nodded and kissed Gwenn’s cheek. “Okay. I’ll take a step back. But just a small one.”
Gwenn rolled her eyes, smiling. “Thanks.”
Joan turned to Bree to pull her in for a hug.
“I’m glad to see you’re moving on from your crush. You deserve so much more, Bree.”
Bree closed her eyes and held her tongue. Not willing to get into another argument, Bree nodded. She needed to have another talk with Dec after this night.
It only took one remark from her mother for the doubt to settle in again. Declan hadn’t said he loved her yet. Maybe she was pushing it. But she knew she wasn’t able to give him the ultimate piece of her heart without those words from him.
The sisters got into Bree’s car and they took off to Bree’s apartment. Gwenn pulled down the visor and wiped some smudged mascara from under her eye.
Bree glanced at Gwenn and before she could even ask, Gwenn said, “No. Not doing this. I’m fine.”
“Okay. Just know that I’m here for you, okay?”
Bree watched the road and almost enjoyed the moment of silence. What a night. Joan Ryan sure knew how to let everyone know she was back in town.
“What? Why are you smiling?” Gwenn asked.
“It’s nothing, really. Just thinking about how we finally got Mom to say she’s sorry.”
Gwenn huffed. “Took her long enough. It’s that we love her…. But damn, I really hate her lack of filter.”
Bree switched lanes and said, “I know. I heard her talk about me and Dec. Do you think—”
Gwenn turned in her seat and said, “No. Stop it. Declan loves you, sis. Mom has some serious issues. It doesn’t matter who we end up falling in love with, Mom’s always going to find faults in them.”
“Just like she does with us…” Gwenn added in a whisper.
“I’m sorry.”
Gwenn let out a sardonic laugh. “You don’t have to be sorry.”
“I know. But I hate seeing you like this. I just wished I could do something for you.” Bree parked in front of her apartment building and shifted in her seat. They both sat still in the car.
“There is one thing you can do for me.”
Bree perked up and tilted her body toward Gwenn.
“Oh? Tell me.”
“Give Dec a real shot.” Gwenn leaned in and placed her hand on Bree’s arm.
“I know Dec fucked things up between you two. And I know you’re scared to trust him.”
Bree let out a long, low sigh.
Gwenn continued, “Rob fucked us all up the day he walked out on us. I sure as hell thought I would never trust a man. Shit. I’ve just spent months in the desert, counting on the guys on my team to have my back. Do you know how hard it’s been to trust those macho assholes?”
Bree offered a flash of a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t know how you did it. I would’ve been scared out of my mind.”
Gwenn unfastened her seatbelt and redid her ponytail. “I was, sis. Fuck. I’m still scared of waking up in the middle of the night, reliving those same nightmares, over and over again.”
Bree unfastened her seatbelt and leaned in to hug her sister. “I’m here for you.”
“I know. You’re already doing so much for me. And I’m here for you, too. That’s why I’m telling you to ignore our mother.”
Gwenn placed a hand over Bree’s heart.
“Listen to your heart. I know you still love G.I. Joe.”
Bree giggled, and Gwenn let her hand fall down.
“I do,” Bree said.
“Well, there you go. Come on, sis. Show the rest of us Ryan girls how it’s done.”
Bree nodded. “I’ll give it a shot.”
“Okay, so I need to put this in the oven for how long?” Declan slid a lamb shoulder dish into his oven and closed the door.
“About an hour. Just check it after forty-five minutes, see how it goes. And when it’s done, let it rest for fifteen minutes and remove the twine. Did you toss the potatoes around the garlic and rosemary? Oh, and thyme?”
Declan smiled. He held the phone between his shoulder and ear while he rasped the carrots. “Yes, Emm. I’ve done exactly what you’ve told me to do. Was just checking for the time. I don’t want to ruin it now.”
“I wonder who you’re making this for. It better be for a certain Kindergarten teacher I know.”
Bree’s always been close with his Moore cousins and especially his aunt Shauni. It was no surprise Emmy rooted for Bree. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but Bree still kept her distance out of fear of having her heart broken again. But eventually, she would give in.
“I can’t tell you anything, Emm. But let’s hope that after tonight, I can reveal who my mystery guest is.”
“Okay,” Emmy said,, and she quickly added, “I would never blab about you or Bree, Cuz. Take your time. Your secret is safe with me.”
Emmy was making it damn hard for him to not just tell her.
“Goodbye, Emm. And… thank you.”
“Have fun!” Emmy singsonged before the line disconnected.
Declan whistled some tune while washing his hands in the sink. He smiled at the memory of a soaking wet Bree last week in her kitchen. They vibed like it had always been this way.
He jolted when his doorbell rang. After drying his hands, he walked over to his front door.
“Hey, Dec. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute, just wanted to bring this over to you.”
Declan took a step back to open the door further for his cousin Keenan, who carried a cheese platter with a stylish bell jar on top. In the kitchen, Declan peered inside and spotted a colorful array of meat, cheeses, nuts and grapes.
“I know Bree’s coming over, and I wanted to give you some small bites to share. There’s some prosciutto and salami in there. Also, a slice of Brie, a bit of goat cheese and my favorite, bleu cheese. It’s strong, but when you both grab a bite, at least you’ll both stink.”
Declan clasped his hand around Keenan’s shoulder and squeezed. “Thanks, Cuz. You didn’t have to do this.”
Keenan shrugged. “I know. But I wanted to help. I know how busy you are. You never cook whenever you’re home alone. Tommy’s mom always loved this shit. So I figured, if dinner would suck, at least you got this covered.”
Declan chuckled. “Thanks for your vote of confidence.”
Keenan turned and shot a glance at the oven. “Ah, I see you’re taking this to the next level. Good.”
Keenan arched a brow. “Emmy?”
“Yep.”
Keenan smirked and walked into the direction of the front door again. “Good thinking, Dec.”
“You know me. Always prepared.”
Declan knew his reputation with his family. He wasn’t a go with the flow kinda guy. Freewheeling wasn’t in his dictionary. He could adapt easily, sure. He had to in his line of work. But if he could help it, he would have as much control over this night as possible.
“Have fun, Dec. You deserve it.”
“Thanks, Keen. I’ll bring the dish back to you tomorrow.”
“Nah, you enjoy yourself and stay inside. I hope to think she’ll not run out on yer arse again in the morning.”
“Later, man,” Declan said. He hated the reminder of Bree sneaking out of his home that first time weeks ago.
Aft
er finishing up the rasping of the carrots, he placed them in a separate dish into the oven. His heart rate picked up when his doorbell rang again. He wondered if this nervousness would ever go away.
He opened his door and his breath caught in his throat. Bree smiled up at him and blushed. Her long curls were down and fell over her breasts. A tight fitted white shirt above an even tighter pair of jeans made him clench his fists. He almost yanked her from his porch to haul her over his shoulder and up the stairs.
But he didn’t.
“Hey, Squirt.”
Bree narrowed her eyes at him. Not what he expected.
“What?”
“You know, I’ve always hated that stupid nickname. Can’t you come up with something else? It reminds me of how you still see me as a little girl, bugging you all the time.” She didn’t kiss him and strode inside.
“Well, okay. Hi, Grumpy. Welcome?”
He bit his lip so he wouldn’t bust out laughing. Bree had practically steam coming out of her ears.
“Grumpy?” Bree clanked the bottle of wine in her hand on his kitchen counter.
“That’s what you come up with?… Grumpy?”
He stepped up to her and halted his steps when she held a hand in the air.
“You’re telling me I look like one of the seven dwarfs? Do I need to pluck my eyebrows? Maybe shave my beard?”
He couldn’t hold it in any longer and laughed. “No, but maybe you can smile? If you’ll stop pouting, you’re so much cuter.”
He closed the distance and kissed her scowl off her face. After only a few seconds, she leaned into him and giggled against his lips.
“I can’t believe you,” she said.
“And I can’t believe how one word can sour your mood like that. If you really hate me calling you Squirt, all you need to do is tell me. I’ll find you a new nickname.”
“No, thanks.” Bree scrunched her nose. “If your next best thing is Grumpy, I’ll take a pass.”
He leaned in and whispered in her ear, “What about Sugar Plump? Or Butter Butt?”
She giggled, and he tugged her earlobe with his teeth. She moaned and fisted his shirt. He kissed her lips, and she opened up for him. Their tongues played with each other. He grabbed her arse and squeezed. Just when he was about to take her upstairs to his bedroom, the oven beeped.
“Shit. I need to—”
Bree cleared her throat and took a small step back. She glanced around the room and said, “Sure. Erm, shall I open the wine?”
“That would be great.”
He grabbed the wine opener and handed it over. “The glasses are already on the table.”
“Oh, okay.”
He took Keenan’s appetizers and walked up to his kitchen table. Bree looked over her shoulder and her blue eyes widened.
“Oh, wow. That looks so good.”
Declan placed the cheese board on the table. “I can’t take any credit. Keen dropped this off.”
“Keenan? But we’ve talked about—”
“I know, but he saw you that morning when you bolted at the break of dawn.” He grimaced and said, “And Aid overheard me and Keenan talk. But Keen and Aid are the only ones, I swear, Sq—Bree.”
Bree’s groans made her feelings loud and clear. She was not happy with him.
“I respect your wishes. Please, don’t be mad, Grumpy.”
He tried to make light of the situation by calling her Grumpy again. He crossed his fingers, hoping she wouldn’t make an issue out of his cousins knowing. Although he could see why she would be mad.
“Gwenn knows about us too. I guess it’s good to have someone to talk to. It’s kind of a rare situation we have on our hands here.”
“Nothing rare about us, Bree. We’re just us.”
Bree cocked her head like she wanted him to say something else. He paused a moment but let it go. He pulled the glass from the cheese platter. Bree instantly pushed back her chair and covered her nose with her hand.
“Oh, my God. What’s that smell?”
Declan grinned. “Uh, cheese?”
“When did Keenan bring this over? Three years ago?”
Declan laughed with his head back.
“No, Grumpy. Just before you got here.”
Bree shook her head and muffled her words. “I can’t… I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Aren’t you being a bit dramatic? I mean, it’s blue cheese. Normally, you’d eat that shit for breakfast if we’d let you.”
He quickly placed the glass back over the cheese when Bree turned green in the face. “Shit. I’m sorry. I’m going to get you some water. Sit tight.”
He took the untouched board of cheese with him into the kitchen and placed it on the counter. After filling a glass with water, he walked back to the table where Bree loudly inhaled a breath of fresh air her through her nose.
“That’s it. Deep breaths. Here, take a sip.”
Her shaky hand reached out for the glass. He ignored her hand and brought the glass to her lips. He helped so she wouldn’t spill.
She swallowed a few sips and cleared her throat. “Thanks. I’ve been feeling a little off these past days. I’m sorry I was cranky with you. I’m totally ruining this night, aren’t I?” Bree held her head with her hand.
“Nah. I get to be with you, so I’m good.”
Bree pulled down the hem of her shirt. “Sure?”
What did he need to do to prove himself? He wanted to shake some sense in her. Obviously, that wasn’t an option.
She avoided eye contact and said in a soft-spoken voice. “Okay. Let’s eat.”
“You sure? I can get you some buttered toast if your stomach’s upset?”
She lightly shook her head and smiled. “That’s unnecessary. But maybe we could skip the cheese?”
He squeezed her shoulder on his way to the kitchen. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” While pulling the twine from the lamb, he shot a glance at Bree’s sitting with hunched shoulders at his kitchen table.
He knew Bree. She was probably sitting this night out because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He picked up the dish with the lamb and placed it back into the turned-off oven.
He rummaged around his cabinets. Bingo. He walked over to Bree with his hands full and gave her a kiss on top of her head before sitting down next to her.
“Here, I think this will do the trick.”
After stacking his plate with slices of white bread, he placed the peanut butter and jam on the table. Bree chewed the inside of her cheek. “But… you’ve put so much work into dinner.”
“I’ll bring it over to Keenan tomorrow. Let him enjoy it. You know how I like my peanut butter and jelly. It’s no hardship for me. In fact… you’re doing me a favor.”
He winked and smeared a heavy amount of jelly on his bread.
Bree snorted and fell against him with her shoulder to his. “You’re crazy.”
“Damn right I am. About you.”
She gave him a blinding smile, although her chin wobbled. He kissed her nose and placed a slice of bread on her plate.
“So, are you in?”
Bree pulled softly at her earring and gave it a moment before answering, “Yeah. I’m in.”
Bree woke up in a cold sweat. Her hair stuck to her head. She tried to roll to her side but instantly stopped moving as a wave of nausea came crashing over her.
Another gag reflex followed, and she shot off the bed, not caring about the drumming in her ears. Just in time, she knelt in front of the toilet.
“Yowza!” Gwenn said behind her as she grabbed Bree’s curls and fisted them in a ponytail.
“Dec told me last night to check up on you. He said it could be bad… he wasn’t kidding.”
Between her second and third round, she asked, “When did he do that?”
“When he brought you here. After he’d tucked you in.”
Gwenn rubbed her back, and Bree took a deep breath. Yuck, she smelled sour jelly. She gagged again and after anot
her two rounds she said, “I’m going to wash up. Thanks, Gwenn…”
“I thought you were feeling better? Didn’t you puke earlier this week?”
Bree groaned, as she couldn’t get into it now. “Please…” she whispered while she grabbed the sink to pull herself from the cold bathroom tiles. She needed to clean them. Perhaps she could do that first before taking a shower?
“No, no. Don’t even think about it. I’m taking care of it. You go on, now.” Gwenn motioned for Bree to get under the spray that she’d just turned on.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before. I have the same tits and ass. Now, go!” Gwenn pushed the shower door further open. She pulled Bree’s camisole over her head and fisted it in a ball. She dunked it in the bin and made a work of Bree’s underwear.
“Okay, easy… the moment you feel dizzy or sick, and you can’t call out, you tap on the glass of the shower door, okay?”
Bree nodded, and when Gwenn looked over from wetting a towel in the sink, she said, “Thanks, Gwennie.”
“No problem.”
After her shower, Bree dressed herself into her favorite pajamas and climbed into bed. Gwenn brought her some ginger tea and gave her salty crackers.
“Hmm, these actually work,” Bree held one cracker up into the air. Gwenn walked past her with a pile of dirty laundry and said, “Oh, you’re so fucked, sis.”
“No, they work. I feel better already.”
Gwenn walked out of the room and shouted over her shoulder, “I’m calling Kera.”
“What for?” Bree winced at her own shouts.
Gwenn walked back into Bree’s bedroom with her phone against her ear. “Hmm-mm, yeah. And while you’re there, can you grab me some tampons? Yeah, one box is enough. My guess is I don’t have to share them in a loooong time.”
“What is that all about?” Bree said while perching herself on the bed. She rested her head against the headrest of her bed. She’d always liked this type of hotel beds with their padded headrest. It was the first thing she bought when she’d had saved up enough from her first paychecks. Never once regretted it.
“How long have you been feeling sick?” Gwenn said and eyed her sister peculiarly. She looked from Bree’s eyes over to her stomach and up again. Bree shifted on the bed.
