by Anna Castor
“Dec…”
Bree nipped at his bottom lip, bringing him back to the bar at Thomas Tavern. He was suddenly reminded she’d wanted to keep their relationship—or whatever it was, a secret and they had just kissed in front of everyone.
“You sweep me off my feet every time we see each other, Dec.”
“Is this why you’re ignoring me? Why do you need distance between us, Love?” Why would she want to back out now that they could finally be together?
Bree took a small step from him, and he let her. She scooted her barstool closer to Dec and sat down.
“Can I order something for you?” Dec said after he flagged the bartender.
“Yes, water, please.”
The bartender nodded. Dec scrutinized Bree. She seemed different somehow. Had she lost weight? She seemed tired.
“Are you still feeling sick?” he asked and placed his hand on her under arm that rested on top of the bar.
She jumped at his question and couldn’t meet his eye. Alarm bells went off in his head and he took back his hand. He let the silence turn awkward on purpose. He figured he’d asked enough questions, and it was time for Bree to do the talking.
Bree drank a few gulps from her glass of water. She cleared her throat and swiveled on her stool.
“So….”
Declan crossed his arms and couldn’t stop his one eyebrow from pulling. He knew he did it whenever he questioned someone on the job.
“Dec… I…”
Declan looked over Bree’s shoulder at a pair of college jocks getting into a heated argument about being first in line to order drinks.
“Love,” he said as he took her by the arm, “I need you to get behind me. Now.”
He tugged her behind him just before the bigger dude punched the lanky guy at the bar. Glass flew all over the place. He needed to get a handle on this situation and separate those stupid fucks.
“Ro!” Declan shouted. “Take care of Bree!”
But Ro had an entirely other idea. He flew right at the bigger guy who threw the punch. “Oh, no ye don’t! Here’s someone of yer own size. Think ye can handle me, fuckface?”
Declan tried to hold Ronan off, but he didn’t want to leave Bree vulnerable behind his back. Being a professional MMA fighter, Ro could handle himself. So Dec brought Bree to safety.
“I’m all right, go help Ro,” she said.
He didn’t respond to her protests as he dragged her outside. Fianna was standing on the sidewalk and called out to them.
“I can’t believe he’s at it again. Some things never change,” Fianna muttered before she put her arms around Bree. The sisters hugged. Fianna looked over Bree’s shoulder and mouthed ‘thank you’ to Declan.
He nodded and turned around to go help his twin. Again.
“You can’t blame everything on hormones, sis. That’s ridiculous.” Gwenn chastised Bree while they searched the aisle for cranberry sauce.
“These hormones are the ones being ridiculous!” Bree walked around with her hands flying above her head.
“One look in his ocean gray eyes and I was putty in his hands. I couldn’t even remember my name, let alone tell Declan he’s about to become a Daddy!”
A gasp from behind Bree’s back made both sisters jump. Bree whirled around and stood face to face with her best friend, Kate.
These past months without Dec in her life, Kate had been her rock. But lately, Bree dodged Kate because she didn’t know how to tell her she’d been sneaking around with Dec. She wasn’t sure how Kate would take it, that she’d kept this from her.
“Uhm, hi,” Bree said.
Kate dropped her fire red shopping basket and stepped closer to Bree. Her eyes dropped to Bree’s stomach.
“I can’t believe it, is it really true?” Kate said as she looked up with misty blue eyes. Her long chocolate hair was curled for the occasion and fell over her shoulders.
“I… I…” Bree couldn’t believe her best friend found out she was pregnant in the middle of Trader Joe’s.
Kate held up one hand and blurted, “I didn’t mean to overhear you. I swear. But I missed you at work. I wanted to check up on you, since you said you had the flu and all. When Emmy said you’d stop by here to pick up some last-minute things for today, I figured to come and help you.”
When Kate looked over from Bree to Gwenn, she added, “When I walked up to you, I heard you about hormones. I’m sorry. I should have walked away. I know you probably don’t want me here right now and—”
Bree stopped her best friend’s apologies by stepping up to her and hugging her close.
“Shh, I wanted to tell you so bad. I’m still reeling from the fact that I’m going to be a mom. And I even haven’t had the chance to tell Dec.”
Gwenn snorted and said, “Pffft. Believe me, you’ve had your chances.”
Kate stepped out of Bree’s hug and placed her hand on Bree’s shoulder. “How are you holding up? Is there anything I can do for you?”
It was so great to have Kate as a best friend. She’d been there for Bree in the past months when she was lovesick. Although they only met last June, Kate felt as close to Bree as her own sisters.
“I love you, Kate,” Bree blurted out before she stabbed at a tear rolling down her puffy cheeks.
“I love you too, Bree,” Kate said.
A woman with a fire red shopping cart walked by and said, “Aaaah.”
Bree opened her mouth to say something and then thought better of it. Kate looked over her shoulder to make sure the woman was out of earshot and whispered, “If you don’t mind me asking… but how—I mean, when…” Kate said while a blush crept over her cheeks.
“Remember the night we had the welcome home party for Gwenn and Kera? I went home with Dec that night.”
“Noooo.” Kate’s eyes went wide in shock. She looked over at Gwenn and back at Bree again. “You said nothing…”
Now it was Bree who blushed. “I know. I felt so ashamed… My feelings for him freaked me out, Kate. I got scared and didn’t want anyone to know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Bree. I just want to be there for you. And help you where I can. Did I hear correct that Declan doesn’t know yet?” Kate asked before stepping aside for a woman who snatched the last tin of the good cranberry sauce behind Kate’s voluptuous bum.
“Oh, sorry.” Kate said, although the sturdy woman didn’t even excused herself as she wiggled her way behind Kate’s butt.
The woman smiled and held the tin in the air. “No problem. Got what I wanted. Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Happy Thanksgiving,” they all three murmured back.
“Shall we, eh, go somewhere else to talk?” Kate asked. Bree nodded. Now even Kate knew she was pregnant before Dec, she wanted to go home and hide under the covers.
“She’s been beating around this bush for weeks now, Kate. And today, it’s Thanksgiving. Maybe she should say thanks right after Pops and tell everyone at once at the diner table!” Gwenn said, probably thinking it was a great idea.
“I’m not doing that!” Bree turned and strode toward the exit.
“We haven’t bought what we came here for,” Gwenn said from behind Bree.
Bree didn’t care. She needed to go outside. Breathe in some fresh air. Her chest felt tight and her head pounded. Gwenn showed up by her side and said, “Okay, let’s get a move on. You can talk later. We’re going to miss Thanksgiving. I don’t think any of us would like to explain to people why we’re late.”
Twenty minutes later, Bree followed Gwenn into Lucky, with Kate right behind her. She searched for Declan in the throng of people, but didn’t see him. The Mills, Walsh, and Ryan families were all present today, filling up the pub.
Even the Mills and Moore cousins joined them for Thanksgiving. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the enormous wide screen above the pool tables on the back wall, watching the first football game of the day.
Being in the pub with family and friends while carrying this big secret made her
antsy. She was certain people could tell she was different somehow. The thought of being around family had made her jumpy all day. And she felt awfully guilty because she hadn’t even told Declan yet. Luckily, her family thought she’d come down with the flu, so they wouldn’t think much of it if she wouldn’t drink tonight.
Keenan and Aiden offered a casual “Hey” at their entrance, and Bree sighed a breath of relief. Declan was nowhere. She was about to combust if she didn’t tell Declan soon. Besides her sisters Kera and Gwenn, now even Kate heard about her pregnancy before Declan.
That wasn’t right. She had waited and searched for the right time to tell him. She really did. Bree followed Gwenn into the kitchen where Emmy was giving out orders like she normally did as the chef at Lucky. She clapped her hands together. “Okay. Listen up. You too, Errin.” The two friends smiled at each other as Emmy liked to keep Errin on her toes.
Emmy spoke in an exaggerated game show voice. “At the back of my kitchen, we have the Ryan sisters competing. Come on up here, Bree. Join your sisters.”
Bree walked over to the countertop and Fianna put her arm around her shoulders.
“This year we’re going to kick some ass!” Fianna said.
“And on this counter we have the newcomers to our Thanksgiving bake-off competition: the Walsh sisters.” Emmy waved her ladle toward a stainless steel table to her right. Kayla and Errin hollered for Kate to join them at their table. Kate turned bright red and shuffled around Emmy to walk over to her sisters.
“Next to the newcomers, we have our runners-up from last year; the lovely Mills girls: Briana and Deirdre.” Bree smiled at Keenan’s sisters, who gave each other a high five.
“On my left we have the winners of last year…” and before Emmy could introduce them, Errin booed, making everyone laugh out loud.
“These newcomers are a rowdy bunch,” Caitlin said.
“Yee-ha!” Kayla cheered.
The kitchen door opened and Duncan and Declan peeked their heads around the swishing door.
“You just know the football game is shite if the girls’ hollers from the kitchen drown out the men,” Duncan said.
Bree’s eyes found Dec’s, and she quickly lowered her gaze and kept it on the tomatoes in front of her. Her face probably matched the vegetable.
“Go away. No penises aloud,” Fianna shouted next to Bree.
“Does a three-inch dick count? Maybe Dec can stay?” Ronan said from behind Declan. Bree was this close to put in her two cents about his rather large size before Fianna responded.
“In that case, you’d be welcome too, if I remember correctly….” Fianna said while she vehemently chopped her cucumber with a shiny kitchen knife. She looked up at Ronan and smiled like a possessed maniac. Bree grinned at her sister.
“Okay, before this gets even more out of hand, you guys need to leave,” Emmy said.
Ronan sputtered something unintelligible before the kitchen door closed.
“Where were we?” Emmy said as she tapped her index finger against her chin.
“You were introducing the winners of last year,” Kayla said.
“Hmm, yes. The winners of last year… the Moore girls,” Emmy said.
Emmy’s four sisters cheered and clanged their ladle against their pans.
“How’s that fair, Emm?” Errin shouted. “You’re a chef!”
“I never take part in the cooking, Errin. I’m part of the jury. Let me introduce you to the rest of our fine jury: our mothers!” Emmy opened the kitchen doors and called out for Catherine Walsh, Joan Ryan, Melissa Mills and Shauni Mills-Moore.
“Are you okay?” Kera whispered to Bree. “You seem a little pale. Take some of these breadsticks.” Bree nicked a few off of Fianna’s chopping board. She nibbled on a breadstick and swayed on her feet. The aroma coming from the closed pot in front of her made her nauseous. But what could she do? Draw attention by excusing herself?
“I’d love to see what you girls make of the Irish Shepard’s Pie,” Emmy’s mom, Shauni, said as she walked over to the workstation of her daughters.
The thought of ground lamb, onions and Worcestershire sauce made Bree turn green. She took a deep breath and gripped the counter.
Bree broke out in a cold sweat. She felt the breadstick clawing its way back up her throat. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel so good,” Bree whispered before she bumped into the stainless steel counter with her hip. The constant talking and fuss in the kitchen was also getting to her. She speed walked from the kitchen.
Was this normal? She hated to think she was going to be some sickly wallflower until the baby came. And what happens then? How was she ever going to do this by herself? The thought was like a hand slipping around her throat and cutting off her air supply.
She walked past the rowdy bunch of guys cheering for a touchdown. By keeping her eyes trained on the floor in front of her, she tried to slip past a few Mills brothers before entering the restroom.
A firm hand halted Bree as it gripped her bicep. “What’s wrong, Love?”
Again, Declan addressed her with his new nickname for her.
Months ago, he couldn’t get her out of his house fast enough when she spoke of the word ‘love’ and now he was just throwing it out there.
Like it had no meaning. Perhaps for him, it didn’t. She narrowed her eyes at him and shook his hand off.
“Leave me alone.” She stomped past him and when she finally made it inside the restroom, she ran the last bit to reach the nearest stall.
The door to the restroom opened, and Bree quickly flushed. She hadn’t even had time to lock her door. A groan escaped her lips as she tried to get up from the floor inside the stall.
Soft hands slid under Bree’s armpits and picked her up. Shiny, chocolate strands of hair partially falling over Bree’s shoulders gave Kate away.
“Come, let’s sit down for a moment.” Kate brought Bree over to the small bench in the restroom.
“It’s going to be okay.” She stroked Bree’s back and offered her a glass of water. “Just to rinse out the taste. Don’t take too much or it’ll come right back up.”
Bree rinsed out her mouth and sat back down next to Kate.
“I hope you’ll feel better soon,” Kate said while patting Bree’s leg.
“Thanks.”
The door to the restroom opened, and Dec’s worried face stuck into the crack.
“Everything okay here?”
Irritation flared through her system, like a wave crashing over her body. She had no control over her emotions. Somewhere deep inside, she knew she was being irrational. But it was like another Bree was taking over her body, and she couldn’t stop it if she’d tried.
“Just leave me alone! I don’t need you in here. In fact: I don’t need you at all!”
Hurt marred Declan’s face before he took a step back and closed the door.
Bree and Kate sat in silence for several minutes. A sob escaped Bree’s lips, and Kate tugged Bree against her chest and slipped an arm around her.
“It’s okay. Let it out, Bree. It’s okay.”
She hadn’t really let herself cry over this baby. She’d thought she was being careful, but fate had decided differently. The doctor had confirmed her pregnancy. But even then, she hadn’t cried. Even though she knew she would not bring this baby into a stable, loving marriage.
Something she’d always swore she would make sure of. She’d seen her mother on her worse days. When she was so heartbroken she couldn’t go out of bed. Or the times she’d been so angry with Bree and her sisters because she was angry at the world.
The day Kera bought Bree a pregnancy test and Gwenn blurted out she was going to be a mom, Bree had mentally checked out. Even the last few weeks Bree acted like nothing had really changed. But she couldn’t just stick her head in the sand like she usually did in these types of situations.
Bree needed to face this pregnancy head on. Make plans at work. Prepare herself mentally for becoming a parent. Fix her apartment so she
could raise a child.
Oh God, she’d need to look out for another apartment. Her place was way too small and not in a child-friendly neighborhood.
Bree looked up from her lap, tears still wet on her cheeks. Kate’s eyes were also red rimmed. Kate kissed Bree’s forehead.
“Whatever you need, Bree. I’m here for you. Always.”
Bree choked back a sob and nodded against Kate’s chest. “I’m making your dress all wet and snotty.”
Kate shrugged. “I meant it when I said ‘whatever you need’. It seems like you need a tissue.”
They giggled. After another ten minutes of hiding out in the restroom, they reappeared in the pub.
The rest of Thanksgiving turned out fine. Bree passed up on the four different Shepard’s Pie. She couldn’t believe that her sisters had won this year’s edition. It was probably all because of Gwenn and Kera’s cooking.
Long after dinner, Bree attempted to clean some dishes in the kitchen. Declan passed her without acknowledging her.
He walked out into the enclosed back alley through the back door. No one had been in the kitchen or outside. This was her chance.
She walked out of the kitchen into the alley, straight over to Declan who sat on the bench with the back of his head against the brick wall. His eyes opened when the sound of her footsteps echoed between the walls of the alley.
“Hey,” he said.
Declan didn’t move to make room for her on the small bench. He was waiting her out. She’d seen how Declan acted when he was angry with someone. And boy, was he pissed…
“I’m late,” she blurted while standing in front of him.
His eyebrows shot up to the inky strands that fell over his forehead. He narrowed his eyes and said, “What do you mean, you’re late?”
“You damn well know what it means.”
Realization dawned on Declan. He stood from the bench and leaned in to stare into her eyes.
“Is it mine?”
Her hand shot out and smacked his cheek. Slapping his stupid face was not enough. Declan grunted but didn’t move.
