The Pirate (Captains & Cannons Book 1)

by Galen Surlak-Ramsey

  Both of the barmaids who flanked him on either side giggled. The pair, who anyone in their right mind would swear were sisters (and be dead wrong), had instantly taken a liking to Ethan when he tossed the barkeep/tavern owner a couple of shillings to ensure three things: first, he’d have as much food and drink as he wanted; second, his “pet” jackal would receive the same treatment along with a private table he could dine at in peace; and third, the two tavern maids he handpicked would serve him exclusively for the night.

  During the transaction, the barkeep snatched the money so quickly, Ethan wondered if he shouldn’t have included breakfast in the deal. In the end, however, he didn’t care all that much. He could easily afford breakfast and then some. Hell, maybe he’d be buying these two lovely freckled redheads who sat beside him breakfast, too. As it turned out, ten crowns—his share of the bounty—was a lot of money.

  Not enough to buy his own ship, sadly, but still, it was a lot of money.

  Ethan sort of had that idea when he got the reward from the Sergeant at Arms, and both Zoey and Maii looked as if they were staring at a dragon’s horde. He also sort of felt like it might be a sizeable amount of coin when Zoey took him straight to a clothing store for new apparel, and the tailor said he’d have it all adjusted to Ethan’s measurements by morning AND Ethan still had a purse full of nine crowns and change.

  Then, of course, when he only paid a couple of crowns to replace his bargain-bin cutlass with weapons that actually looked like they could kill something, he knew he’d done quite well. Weapons, despite what computer games had tried to tell him up until now, were costly things and took a long time to craft.

  “I think playing for pennies is far too common for the likes of you,” said Katherine, the maid on his left.

  She, like her counterpart, Alice, wore a black skirt, padded petticoat, white corset, and the clearest and cleanest of fair skin along with curly red locks. Prior to their temporary employment, Ethan had insisted the two take a little time off—compensated, of course—to bathe and refresh themselves after a full day’s worth of work.

  Alice chuckled and put a delicate hand against her mouth. “Oh, Master Ethan. You don’t want to be seen as such, do you?”

  “Ladies, ladies,” Ethan said, leaning back and throwing an arm around each. “You’ll find I’m anything but ordinary.”

  Roger, the big guy who’d thrown in his shilling without complaint, cleared his throat and shot Ethan a perturbed look. “Are you finished?” he asked. “Because I thought we were here to play Thirty-One and a Bone?”

  “Master Roger,” Ethan said, loving how saying that title really put him in the moment. “I am more than willing to continue taking your money if you are obliged to provide it to me.”

  Alice giggled again at the remark, as did Katherine, and both girls snuck their arms around his and cozied up to him. The fact that they were more than willing to press their ample chests against his body was not lost on him, nor the reasons for doing so. Though the very primal male side of Ethan loved the attention from the pair of beautiful girls, he knew deep down they were after his coin.

  Some things never changed.

  But did he care?

  No. Because for once in his life, it felt damn good not to be an afterthought at best. They even got his name right.

  “We’ll see about that,” Roger said, narrowing his eyes. “Are you going to deal?”

  Ethan nodded and picked up the deck of cards. With the smoothness of a Vegas dealer thanks to one of his recently invested perks, Natural Gambler (which gave a slight bonus to his already solid Gambling skill), Ethan tossed cards around the table until each player, himself included, had been dealt three face down.

  The object of Thirty-One and a Bone, as Ethan had quickly learned, was almost identical to Blackjack, except for a few notable changes. First, one had to reach thirty-one instead of twenty-one without going over. Second, other players didn’t know what you had until the reveal at the end, provided you didn’t bust. And third, once, and only once a hand, you could pay double the initial wager to buy a different card than the one you were dealt.

  Thus far, Ethan had been doing well. Thank his skills and hefty luck score for that.

  Edmund, the first player dealt, took two cards and ended up with a bust, even after he paid another shilling, which was enough to send him away from the table, cursing up a storm. Henry, the next player, ended up taking three extra cards, and at the end, he sat rubbing the stubble on his narrow chin, which told Ethan the old man probably had either twenty-six or twenty-seven in total. Nothing spectacular, but too close to thirty-one to risk going over.

  Then came Roger, who didn’t take a single extra card. Since he didn’t automatically go for the pot, Ethan realized he didn’t have thirty-one. As such, he most likely had thirty, possible twenty-nine or twenty-eight. The way the rotund gambler sat back with an air of satisfaction, however, made Ethan think he was sitting on thirty.

  Ethan glanced at what he had. A jack. A king. A five. Not a winning hand at all.

  “I’ll take a hit,” he declared before dealing himself a card.

  A four popped up, which gave him twenty-nine in total. Strong, especially since the dealer won a tie. But if Roger had thirty, it wouldn’t be enough. That said, chances of him going over were pretty high.

  Ethan drummed his fingers on the table, unsure what to do.

  “What do you think, love?” Ethan said, turning to Alice before toying with her hair. “Should I take another card and put him out of his misery?”

  “Oooh,” the woman said as her hand found her cleavage. “You’d have to be pretty brave to do that.”

  Katherine leaned over so her lips were a hair away from his ear. “I think a real man wouldn’t care either way,” she whispered.

  Ethan sucked in a breath and grinned. What did he care about the pot, anyway, when it was all said and done? Not that much, especially since he’d already won much more over the last hour. As such, Ethan thought about letting things fall as they may. Even if the guy won, his lackadaisical attitude at the loss would no doubt get under Roger’s skin. That could be a valid long-term strategy to empty the man’s purse over the course of the rest of the night.

  That said, however, Ethan wanted more. He wanted to take everything this guy had and then some. Even though Roger looked nothing like Melissa’s date from the fair, he reminded Ethan of him to such a degree that Ethan was dead set on making sure he lost. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have the skill now to make that happen, Ethan told himself. Or at least, a decent shot at making it happen.

  A little under one in four, Ethan noted, after counting the cards that had been dealt. Those were his best odds of snagging either a five or six, assuming one had already been dealt elsewhere.

  That, however, didn’t factor in his luck stat. How that would work out for him, he didn’t know, game-wise, but he sure as hell felt lucky. And his winnings thus far testified as such.

  “Go big or go home, right?” Ethan asked. “I’ll take another.”

  A queen made an appearance, which immediately put Ethan over. However, he didn’t flinch whatsoever. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, grinned, and then casually set a couple more shillings in the pot before dealing himself one final card.

  Six of spades.

  The girls let out a collective gasp. Alice even fanned herself as her chest and neck turned scarlet.

  “I believe that’s thirty-one, gentlemen,” Ethan said, revealing his facedown cards for all to see.

  Henry laughed and downed what was left of his full mug of ale. Roger, on the other hand, scowled, and when Ethan reached for the pot, he had a pistol pointed in Ethan’s face.

  “You’re a liar and a cheat,” Roger growled. “No one’s that lucky. No one.”

  Ethan, not moving a muscle, but feeling his heart pound relentlessly in his chest, caught a glimpse of Zoey moving toward the table and decided to play things cool. “I don’t think you want to do this,” he said.


  “I think I very much want to, Master Ethan,” Roger answered, narrowing his eyes. “Unless, that is, you want to admit to your trickery and forfeit your earnings.”

  The loud, distinct click of a flintlock pistol immediately drew Roger’s attention. To his left, Zoey had her own weapon pointed at his temple. “I haven’t killed someone all day,” she said. “But you know what they say.”

  “What do they say?” Ethan prompted.

  “The day’s not over yet,” she said.

  To Ethan’s surprise, Roger didn’t immediately back down. The man slowly wiped his greasy left hand across his dirty cotton shirt before leaning forward. “You’re no man,” he said. “And your girl here won’t always be around to protect you.”

  Zoey chuckled and stashed her pistol back into her waistband after carefully decocking it. “I think there’s something you ought to know,” she said, bringing her face so close to the side of his that her wide-brimmed hat grazed his ear. “So pay attention, because I’m only going to say this once.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “He doesn’t need me to protect him, you see, because this man who you’ve so unwisely pointed a pistol at,” Zoey said, sliding behind Ethan and slinking her arms over his shoulders, “is the same man who collected the twenty-crown bounty on the ettin today.”

  The pistol in Roger’s hand wavered. “No, he’s not,” he said, sounding unsure of himself.

  “You can go ask the guards yourself if you don’t believe me,” Zoey said. “But that might be hard if he opts to take your head first.”

  The man balked but didn’t lower his weapon. Ethan knew he had to do something to see this through. More importantly, as a plan came to him in a matter of moments, he felt as if Zoey was reading his every thought on the matter, for she squeezed his shoulder reassuringly ever so slightly.

  “I’d like to keep this cordial,” Ethan said before slowly pushing the remaining deck of cards toward the man. “If you think I’m cheating, by all means, count the cards in front of us all.”

  Roger nodded slowly. For a brief second, his weathered eyes darted to the cards, and then it all happened.

  Ethan drew his pistol, and as it cleared his belt, Zoey struck Roger on the inside of the wrist, knocking his weapon to the side. But her blinding speed didn’t stop there. Before Ethan could blink, she’d slid to the side and wrenched the gun out of the fat man’s grasp.

  “As I was saying,” Ethan said, coming out of his shock quickly enough to play it all off. “I’d like to keep this cordial, but at this point, that’s going to depend on what you do next.”

  Roger’s eyebrows shot up almost as fast as his hands did. “My mistake,” he stuttered. “I meant nothing of it all. Just took the fun a little too far. My apologies.”

  “You have a strange concept of fun,” Ethan said. “But apology accepted.”

  “Then I’ll take my leave,” Roger said, backing away. He looked at Zoey expectantly, and when she didn’t say or do anything, he cleared his throat. “May I have that back?”

  “This?” Zoey said, tilting her head to the side and looking at the pistol. “I don’t know. I kind of like it.”

  “Then I think it’s yours to keep, love,” Ethan said. He’d tossed in the pet name completely impromptu, but he figured since he was fully invested in this mini-roleplay of a seasoned gambler and veteran bounty hunter, he might as well have a little fun with it.

  Zoey didn’t seem to mind. Especially when she was getting a new weapon out of it. “My deepest thanks,” she said. She then pressed her lips together and waved the man off. “You might want to leave while you’re still able. You can always buy a new pistol. New head? I doubt that very much.”

  Roger obeyed and not even reluctantly at that. He scampered off and left the tavern completely without word, much to an approving uproar of the tavern’s patrons and goading of the barkeep.

  “Did you actually kill that ettin?” Katherine asked as she and Alice came back to the table.

  “I did,” Ethan said, chest bulging with pride. Though he loved boasting of the deed, he couldn’t in good conscience not include Zoey and Maii. “I can’t say I did it on my own,” he said, nodding to each of them. “They’re both worth their weight in gold.”

  Alice set her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “I bet it was exciting,” she said with a longing voice. “Here’s good, proper work, don’t misunderstand, but it’s a dull life for the most part.”

  “That card game didn’t seem dull,” Ethan said, chuckling.

  “I can’t remember the last time something like that’s happened,” Katherine said.

  Zoey dropped into Henry’s old seat. Her eyes narrowed before she tilted her head as if considering something she hadn’t thought of. Ethan was about to ask what was on her mind when she snapped her fingers and drew the girls’ attention.

  “You two,” she said. “Our jackal looks hungry. Be so kind and feed him something delicious, would you? I’d like to talk to Ethan for a few moments in private.”

  The girls didn’t leave right away and instead turned to Ethan for direction, which was understandable since he was the one paying to have them on call.

  Ethan simply nodded. “That’s fine,” he said. “I’ll see you two soon.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Perks

  Zoey waited a few seconds for the barmaids to be well out of earshot before speaking. “Before we talk about anything,” she said, looking at him with newfound respect. “I want you to know, I’m impressed by how you handled that guy.”

  Ethan’s ego swelled to the size of a large galleon. “Thanks,” he said. “I guess taking down a two-headed giant will do that for you.”

  “I also want you to know that was potentially the stupidest way to handle him,” she said. Despite her unexpected remark, her tone stayed light.

  That said, confusion ran rampant through Ethan’s brain. “Didn’t you just say you were impressed?”

  “I did. And I am,” she replied before taking a swig from her mug. “I’m impressed that you didn’t freeze up, cower, or run for the hills. But after that first fight with Barnaby, I would’ve thought you’d have learned your lesson about trying to beat someone when it came to reflexes. So, I’m curious why you decided to make that move.”

  “Because I had him distracted,” Ethan said, frowning. He then pointed to the deck that sat off to the side. “He was looking at that, remember?”

  “I do, which is what let me grab his pistol before you got shot in the face,” she said.

  “I know,” Ethan said, not missing a beat. “I was counting on it. In fact, I thought we were on the same page.”

  Zoey smiled brighter than the sun. “Certainly seems that way, and that’s what I was hoping for. I’m glad we’re turning into a great team.”

  “Me too.”

  “It also means you’re thinking things through, which, no offense, is awesome given your negative rash trait. There’s hope yet you might be rid of it.”

  Ethan nodded. “Always a plus.”

  Zoey’s eyes flashed to the side. He wasn’t sure what had caught her eye, but before he could turn to see, she spoke, voice dropping a little. “Listen up,” she said. “I want you to keep looking at me, keep smiling, and whatever you do, don’t let it go to your head when I kiss you.”

  “When you—”

  Zoey cut him off when she leaned across the table, grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him forward so she could press her lips into his. When they finally parted, she caressed the side of his face before easing back into her seat, gazing at him as if they were star-crossed lovers. “Perfect.”

  Stunned, confused, but not complaining, Ethan grinned. “Glad I could help?” he replied.

  “Me too,” she said. “I’ll explain in a second, but for now, act natural.”

  Ethan wasn’t sure how to do that, seeing how being kissed by Zoey was anything but. He did, however, end up smacking his lips and perking
. “You taste like cherries.”

  “Like that?” she said, tilting her head. “Bought some lip balm.”

  Ethan decided to push his luck and step out of his comfort zone. It might not be natural for him, but he wanted it to be. He leaned forward as confidently as he could. “I think you should kiss me again, you know, to make sure that balm is good.”

  “Oh, Ethan,” Zoey said, with an overly exaggerated pained, but playful look. “Pets don’t get to make requests.”

  Ethan chuckled and waved a dismissive hand toward her. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. I’m not your pet.”

  Zoey arched an eyebrow.

  “You’re not serious, right?” Ethan asked with a nervous edge. “There’s no way I’m a pet.”

  “I did buy a leash,” she said, glancing at the leather pouch that hung off her belt.

  Ethan huffed and folded his arms over his chest. “I’m not letting you put me on a leash.”

  “What if I ask nicely?”

  “No.”

  “What if I ask really, really nicely?” she asked, putting a magical tone to her words.

  Goosebumps raised across his skin, and Ethan felt himself sink into a warm bliss where he hung off every little thing she said and did. Charmed, he knew, but with that same thought came another: he didn’t care.

  “Relax, Ethan,” she said, letting go of the spell she had over him. “Or, I guess you already were. I’ve had my fun. We do need to talk seriously. I wasn’t lying about that.”

  “Right, seriously,” Ethan repeated, shaking his head to try and rid himself of the bubbly feeling that still lingered. “What’s on your mind?”

  “A few things,” she said. Her right pinky flicked to the side, but only for a brief second that Ethan almost missed. As she continued, she kept her gaze elsewhere. “When you get a chance, look at the man in the corner.”

  “Okay,” Ethan said. The clattering of a dropped plate followed a moment later, giving him the perfect excuse to jump and spin around. In the corner Zoey had referenced sat a thin, dirty man dressed in a dark, frayed longcoat with yellow trim who had a lit pipe sticking out of his mouth. He toyed with a bowl of soup that had been placed in front of him, but he wasn’t looking at it. His seedy eyes seemed forever focused on Zoey.