Without a Net

by Kimberly Cooper Griffin

  In her room a few minutes later, Fiona smiled to see neat piles of clean laundry, folded and stacked upon her bed. A momentary twinge of guilt passed through her when she realized Meg had not only finished her laundry after she nodded off, but she must have taken care of the kittens during the night too. Despite the crick in her neck, she was more rested than she had been in a long time.

  Fiona completed her morning routine, before emerging from her room in fresh jeans and a T-shirt, invigorated, happy, and more than a little ravenous. It was strange to have an overnight guest and she wondered what to do. Would it be rude to eat breakfast without her? Hunger pangs gave her no choice. She walked stealthily past Meg who was still sleeping soundly, and considered their options for breakfast. A quick survey of her cupboards inspired nothing, and a lonely slice of dried out pizza sat orphaned among the left-over Thai food, expired eggs, beer, and useless condiments in the otherwise bare refrigerator. She was a pathetic host, and didn’t think she could wait long enough to cook anything, anyway. Pregnancy had definitely unleashed a demon hunger within her. She decided to run out and grab some food while Meg slept. Gathering her keys, she quietly slipped out through the door, and made her way to Helga’s in the early morning sunshine.

  The café was moderately busy for a Saturday morning and Fiona took her place in line. She recognized the cashier as the barista who had made the coffee the day before. Fiona had been served by her many times, but she’d always been a little intimidated by her. She gave off a street smart aura that went beyond the style of her clothes or makeup, which Fiona could never aspire to. Today the woman was sporting a hipster look of black dyed hair in schoolgirl ponytails, and whiter-than-white skin showcasing large, generously lined eyes with false lashes. They’d exchanged coffee orders and an occasional smile, but they’d never engaged in small talk, so when the barista spoke to her after taking her order, Fiona was surprised.

  “You’re the woman who took the kittens yesterday.” The barista selected the muffins Fiona pointed to in the case, along with two large portions of spinach quiche from a tray. Without having to look at the handwritten nametag, adorned with several safety pins featuring skull and crossbones pendants, Fiona knew her name was Betty.

  Fiona nodded and fished her card out of her wallet.

  “It’s so cool you’re taking care of them.” Betty looked up through thick, evenly cut bangs. “I wish I could take one—when they’re older, of course. Meg said you guys were looking for a more permanent place to take them. Good thing she’s a vet, huh? God, she’s incredible. Beautiful and smart. It’s so weird she wants to work here. I don’t mind, though. I don’t mind at all.”

  Fiona smiled and wondered if she and Meg had something going on. Fiona couldn’t picture them together, but under the thick makeup, visible tattoos, and multiple piercings, Betty was a beautiful woman, if a little on the young side. The twinge of jealousy Fiona felt surprised her.

  “Yeah. Meg’s great and the kittens seem to be doing well.” Fiona tried to ignore the green-eyed monster she had no right to feel. “I figured out how to feed them, but I think I’m going to have to turn them over to someone who knows what they’re doing.”

  “Yeah. It’s a lot of work.” Betty said from over her shoulder, as she poured coffee from the industrial sized brewing vats behind the counter. “One of my cats had kittens when I was a kid. They meowed all night.”

  “They were mostly quiet last night.” Fiona was careful not to say anything about Meg spending the night.

  “Well, the food’s on the house.” Betty refused the card Fiona held out to her. “And if you need any help with the kittens, let me know. I already told Meg, but you can count on me if you need anything.”

  “Thanks. That’s really nice of you.” Touched by the gesture and the offer of help, Fiona took the bag and coffee tray Betty held out to her.

  30

  After feeding and pooping the kittens, Meg washed and dried her hands in Fiona’s bathroom. The apartment was quiet in the early morning. She studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired but her hair wasn’t a mess. She was wondering if she should go back to Vi’s apartment, when she heard someone at the front door. They sounded like they had a key, and Meg wondered if her presence in the apartment would be a surprise to whoever it was.

  After Fiona had fallen asleep on the couch the night before, Meg had debated whether she should go home. They hadn’t discussed her staying the night, but she hadn’t wanted to leave the job of managing the kittens to Fiona without talking about it first. She was glad she’d stayed. The kittens had woken for feedings several times during the night and Fiona hadn’t stirred once. When Meg woke to the kittens’ meows this last time, Fiona wasn’t on the couch, and when Meg went to the bathroom she noticed Fiona’s bedroom door was closed. She wondered if she should knock on Fiona’s bedroom door to tell her someone was there.

  Whoever was at the door was having a difficult time with the lock. Meg figured hiding in the bathroom would look more suspicious than anything else, so she went to help. She turned the knob but the lock was sticking because the doorframe was so swollen from the humidity. Meg forced the lock and pulled the door open. Fiona stood on the door step with her hands full and a surprised look on her face. Her keys fell to the ground with a clatter against the metal threshold.

  “Let me help.” Meg’s voice was husky from sleep. Fiona stepped to the side to let her pick up the keys. She recognized the bag the food was in. “I smell quiche!”

  “I didn’t have anything here besides the leftover Thai food. Did I wake you?” Fiona carried the food over to the table. She looked fresh and well-rested even in the dim light of the closed-up apartment. She opened the blinds and the room was filled with golden sunshine. The room was transformed, cheerier in the morning light. Colorful accents brought the place to life.

  “I fed the kittens.” Meg peeked into the bag. “I didn’t know you left. I thought you were in your bedroom. I was relieved to see it was you when I opened the door. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be greeted by a jealous girlfriend or something.”

  Fiona handed her a cup of coffee. “Jealous girlfriend?”

  “If you were in your bedroom, and the person at the door had keys…” Meg lifted her shoulders.

  “Oh, yeah, I get it. There’s no girlfriend.”

  “Boyfriend?” Meg looked pointedly at Fiona’s belly.

  “Definitely no boyfriend.” Fiona sipped her coffee. “I thought we covered all this last night.”

  Meg didn’t think a refresher on how babies were made was necessary. She was relieved there was no significant other, but she’d be lying if the mystery of Fiona’s pregnancy didn’t pique her curiosity. She wasn’t about to pry, though.

  “Yeah, we did. This quiche is the bomb.” Meg changed the subject and Fiona removed the food from the bag.

  “I met Betty. She didn’t let me pay for it.”

  “She feels like crap about the cat.”

  “Why?” Fiona went to the kitchen and returned with forks.

  “She was the one who slammed the lid. She cried about it through the rest of our shift yesterday.”

  “Oh, poor thing.” Fiona stopped mid-forkful. “She didn’t say anything. I’ll admit I was super pissed at whoever did it at first. But honestly, how were they to know?”

  “Exactly what I told her. It didn’t help, though.”

  “Well, I guess I can understand.” Fiona took her first bite of the quiche. She rolled her eyes in ecstasy. “This is so good!”

  “Thanks!” Meg laughed at Fiona’s puzzled look. “It’s Karma’s recipe, but I mixed it up last night before I left. Betty cooked it this morning.”

  “Excellent team effort, then!” Fiona dug in with gusto. “Oh, by the way, thanks for taking care of the kittens during the night. And for doing my laundry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

 
“It was my pleasure. The kittens are easy and I’ll do your laundry anytime in trade for breakfast delivery.”

  “You’re on!” Fiona laughed.

  “So, what are your plans for the day? I have to be at the coffee shop at eight, but I can stop by during my lunch break and I’m free after four, so I can watch the kittens if you have stuff you need to do.” Meg didn’t want to overstay her welcome, but the kittens were a lot of work, some of it which Fiona couldn’t do.

  “Thanks, but I have nothing happening until Tuesday when I have to go back to work. I was planning on going to a co-worker’s Independence Day party, but the kittens are a good excuse to miss it. From experience, I’d be the only single person there.”

  Meg would have volunteered to go with her, but since she hadn’t asked her, she didn’t.

  “Well, I’ll get out of your hair then. How ‘bout I come by after work and poop the kittens? They should be good until then.”

  “Sounds fantastic. You’re not in my hair, by the way. I like hanging out with you. How about I make you dinner tonight? You know—to reward you for doing the dirty work.”

  Meg was glad to have plans to see her again. “Sounds like I’m getting the better end of the bargain is what it sounds like! I’ll see you around five then.”

  Meg finished off the rest of her coffee, picked up her bag of clean laundry, and walked across the street to her apartment.

  31

  Fiona peeked through the blinds and watched Meg cross the street. She watched the sidewalk for several minutes after Meg disappeared from view. The sudden emptiness of her apartment was a gaping void behind her, so she continued to stand there quietly, staring out of the window. It didn’t take long before she became oblivious to the passersby, but she couldn’t have said what was on her mind as she stared into the distance. Sometime later she was happy to be rescued from her mindless trance by the sight of Meg standing on the cement stairs leading to her door. Meg returned her gaze with a strange half-smile. Fiona smiled back, and went to meet Meg at the front door.

  “Hey you! You were totally zoned-out there.”

  “Yeah. I can be a hard-core space case. Did you forget something?”

  “My phone.” Meg picked it up from the table next to the couch and cleared her throat. “Do you do it often?”

  “Do what?”

  “The zoning out.”

  The unexpected scrutiny made Fiona uneasy. “Not really. Only when I don’t want to think about the more dreary aspects of my life.” Fiona tried to dispel her unease by making fun of her situation. Her joke fell flat, even to her.

  Meg stared at the phone in her hand, looking like she wanted to say something but feeling uncomfortable about it. And why wouldn’t she? Fiona was aware she’d been being painfully vague and it put Meg in a weird position.

  Meg seemed to gather herself. “Fiona, you haven’t told me much about the situation you’re in, but from what I do know, you have some serious things you need to figure out.” She paused for a few seconds before continuing. “Tell me to shut up if you want to, but I like you, and I think it’s important you face things now before you run out of choices.” She said it gently and Fiona knew she was concerned. She realized at that moment that she trusted Meg. She wouldn’t judge her if she told her more about the situation. Well, she probably wouldn’t.

  Meg looked like she was surprised at her own frankness. Fiona wanted to tell her it was okay, but at the same time, she wanted to ignore it. It was her way of dealing with hard things—pretending like they didn’t exist. Old habits die hard. She took a deep breath instead.

  “I know,” she said softly. “I’ll tell you all about it if you want. But first, I have to do some facing of things like you suggested. Don’t worry. A couple of minutes of staring into the abyss this morning doesn’t mean I’m going to avoid it all together.”

  “Um, Fiona, unless you left and came back, you were in the same spot for over twenty minutes. I watched you from the step for at least five minutes before you even realized I was there. It was a little freaky, like you’d left your body or something.”

  Fiona found it hard to believe. Twenty minutes? It was weird even for her. She tried to relax. “I must have zoned out hard, then.”

  “I’d say so. I was beginning to think you were asleep standing up.” Meg laughed uneasily. “You were staring right through me.”

  Fiona wanted to say there was no way she wouldn’t notice Meg, but obviously she had. She sighed. “As tired as I’ve been lately, sometimes I’d love the ability to sleep with my eyes open. Especially at work.” Her second attempt at lightening the mood went down like a lead balloon.

  Meg gave her a half-smile but it didn’t erase the concern in her eyes. “Well, I’ve got my phone. I’ll get out of your hair. I hope the kittens let you take a nap or something.”

  Fiona sensed an uncertainty in Meg. “You’re not in my hair.” She reached out and ran her hand up and down Meg’s arm. “I enjoy spending time with you.”

  The smile Meg gave her reached her eyes. “Me, too.” She picked up the sketchbook. “Do you mind if I leave this here? I don’t have time to swing by my place before work and I don’t have anywhere to store it there. Betty’s sort of nosey.”

  Fiona grinned. “Sure, but I can’t promise not to snoop, myself.”

  “You can snoop all you want, but Betty, well, Betty is Betty. Anyway, I’m not sure how good any of it is.” Meg’s eyes landed on her empty cup. “Is that my coffee cup? I’ll take it with me. You know, recycle, reuse, reduce—save the planet, and all!”

  Fiona, who was closer to the table, handed the cup to Meg, who was standing at the door. “Have a great day at work, dear. Dinner will be ready at five.” Fiona surprised both of them by giving Meg a quick peck on the cheek as she handed her the cup.

  “Yep. Gotta bring home the bacon!” said Meg, not skipping a beat. She even managed an imaginary tip of her hat as she shut the door.

  32

  It had only been a brief kiss, but Meg’s skin tingled where Fiona’s lips had touched her. She couldn’t remember how she’d responded, it had been such a shock. She hoped it wasn’t anything stupid, but it probably was. She waved at Betty, who had been there since six a.m. for the opening shift and was taking a customer’s order. It was unusual for Betty to open, but the schedule was all out of whack with people being sick or on holiday. Meg rounded the counter and grabbed her apron off the hook in the breakroom.

  “Your girlfriend came into the shop this morning.”

  Meg took her spot at the espresso machine and pulled her apron over her head. Betty held out a cup with an order written on it. Meg ignored the cup, put her hands on her hips, and smiled at her.

  “Good morning. I’m fine, thanks for asking. And you?”

  Betty rolled her eyes. “I’m up before noon. How do you think I am? I’m curious about your girlfriend, though.”

  Meg took the cup and placed it next to the espresso machine. She tied her apron and started making the coffee. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  Beth pursed her lips. “So, it wasn’t you she was buying breakfast for? I was all sorts of impressed with your Casanova moves yesterday, but now I’m disappointed.”

  Meg leaned over and whispered: “Your customers will be disappointed if you don’t start taking their orders.”

  “You suck,” Betty whispered back, before turning her attention to the short line.

  “How are the kittens?” Betty handed the next order to Meg.

  “They’re doing well, with healthy appetites.”

  “I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about the mother cat. I feel so bad.”

  “Betty, it wasn’t your fault.”

  “I keep telling myself that, but it doesn’t change anything.”

  They kept working for several minutes, Betty taking orders and Meg making the drinks, un
til there was a short break in customers. Saturday mornings were always busy, even on holiday weekends. Meg wiped down the machine and Betty straightened the merchandise by the register before she picked up a pen, spinning it through her fingers.

  “So, she’s not your girlfriend?”

  Meg emptied the knock box into an empty coffee bean bag. Taylor sent the used grinds to local urban gardens. “I just met her.”

  Betty flipped the pen in the air and caught it, spinning it through her fingers. “My last three serious relationships started as one night stands.”

  “One night stands may be your M.O. but they aren’t mine.”

  Betty dropped the pen. “Come on. You never had a one night stand?”

  “Sure I have, but I don’t sleep with people I like right away.”

  “Oh! So, you admit you like her?”

  She did. At first, she’d been attracted to her because she was pretty. Her smile and laughter were contagious. But then she’d discovered how smart and compassionate she was. The way she’d handled the woman who hit the cat was amazing. So far, Fiona was absolutely intriguing. The pregnancy thing was a shocker. If she wasn’t planning on moving in a few weeks, would she want to date her? It didn’t matter. She was leaving.

  “I do. But she’s got some stuff going on and I’m leaving in a few weeks.”

  Betty made a face and waved her hand. “So you have some fun for a few weeks. What does she have going on? Those guys we saw her with yesterday? Is she seeing one or both of them?”