*****
Fresh from the shower and sitting on the edge of her bed as she towel-dried her hair, Fiona wallowed in her new-found peace. She hadn’t figured out her next steps, but for the first time in her life, she didn’t care. She had plenty of time to figure it all out, but right now she finally understood what it meant to live in the moment.
With a surge of happiness, she threw the towel she held into the air and batted it playfully to the floor. Whipping her damp hair back, she fell backward onto her bed with a huge smile. She burst out in giddy laughter and hugged herself. Finally, she kicked herself up into a standing position, repositioned her towel, and walked purposefully out to the living room to find her cell phone. She didn’t want to waste her good mood by herself.
She keyed in a number, and while the call connected, she walked over to the kittens and watched their round little bellies rise and fall with the steady rhythm of sleep. She smiled when Meg answered.
“What are you up to?”
“I’m at the coffee shop watching Betty abuse the customers.”
Disappointment descended over her and she became very aware she was standing in a towel in her living room, talking to Meg. “I thought you didn’t have to work today.”
“I’m not working. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it next time I see you. You sound like you’re in a good mood?”
Was she? She was! “I am!”
“Awesome!”
Meg’s enthusiasm made her feel even better. “About your invitation to go see fireworks, I’m not sure I should leave the kittens alone for so long, but if you don’t have plans after, do you want to come over and hangout or something?”
Meg made a sound on the other end of the line. “Yeah… those plans sort of fell through. I’ll tell you about it later.”
She was curious about the story Meg kept alluding to but she was happy at her own good luck. More time with Meg! “Does that mean you can come over earlier?”
“I can be there in two minutes. I’m already leaving the shop.”
Butterflies tickled Fiona’s stomach. “See you in a few, then.”
Fiona tossed her phone onto the recliner and sprang to her feet. Two minutes to get dressed wasn’t much time. She stopped by the bathroom on the way to her room to brush out her damp hair, and was about to pull a shirt out of her closet when she heard a knock on her door. Sighing, she walked into the living room in her towel.
44
“That was quick.” Fiona grabbed Meg by the wrist and pulled her in through the door, slamming it before Meg knew what happened.
“Sorry, but I didn’t want to give anyone a free show.” Meg realized Fiona was in nothing but a towel. Her mouth went dry. She was staring, but the situation seemed to warrant it.
“Is this your usual, lounging-around-the-house attire?” Meg looked down at her own shorts and T-shirt. “I feel overdressed. Where do you keep the towels?” Meg grabbed the hem of her T-shirt, as if she were going to pull it off, and Fiona slapped at her hands.
“I guess I should have gotten dressed and then called you. I wasn’t thinking.” Fiona backed down the hall. “Be right back.”
Fiona seemed different. There was something lighter about her, happier. It seemed to exude from her and Meg liked it. Fiona had always been pretty to her, but she was breathtaking right now. Maybe it was because she was wearing only a towel. Whatever it was, wow. Just wow.
Aware she was still standing by the front door, Meg tossed her phone and keys next to Fiona’s on the recliner, and wandered over to the kittens. Sound asleep as usual. She knelt to pick one up, and absently rubbed the kitten across her cheek. The kitten was adorable, but it was the thought of Fiona in the towel raising the goose bumps along her skin.
A few minutes later, Meg heard Fiona’s bedroom door open, and she gently placed the kitten back inside the box. She watched it burrow into the pile of siblings as Fiona entered the room behind her and put a hand on her back. Meg wondered if Fiona knew she was driving her to distraction with the towel and now the feel of her hand on her back was doing interesting things to other areas of her body.
“Sorry about the towel situation.”
She cleared her throat. “It was definitely my pleasure.” Meg stood up and stepped back. She needed a little space from Fiona—she didn’t trust herself with her. “They’re starting to open their eyes. Did you know…” Meg stopped in midsentence as she completed her turn and got a good look at Fiona, who was standing there in her bare feet and damp hair. She was doing up the last button on her jeans. Maybe she was in hurry to get dressed, but Fiona had only fastened a couple of buttons on her shirt. Either way, several buttons of the diaphanous shirt were undone, and the shirt hung open, revealing a good portion of the top of Fiona’s breasts and most of her smooth, flat stomach. Meg lost her train of thought, as she took in the sight. Fiona could have easily been an Abercrombie & Fitch advertisement.
“Did I know what?” Fiona was looking down, focused on the buttons of her shirt.
Meg closed her mouth and turned back to the kittens, trying to remember what she had been about to say, thankful Fiona hadn’t caught her gaping like a hormone addled teenager.
“Oh, um, did you know short-haired kittens open their eyes earlier than long-haired kittens?” God, did she sound as distracted as she felt?
“I didn’t. Why are they different?” Fiona finished buttoning and peered down into the box, a casual hand rested on Meg’s lower back again, apparently unaware of what she was doing to her. If she were aware, would she keep doing it?
Meg paused. Again, she struggled to pick up the thread of the conversation. Playing for time, she cleared her throat. With no clue as to what to do with her hands, she bent and retrieved a kitten from the box. The milky blue eyes reminded her of Fiona’s question.
“Uh, I’m not sure, but it’s true for every breed. Even in a mixed litter with both long and short-haired, the long-haired kittens will open their eyes several days after their short-haired siblings.” Meg was glad to have her expertise to fall back on to steady herself and grateful her voice didn’t give away her sudden case of nerves.
“Interesting. You should have seen them this morning. Wait... I have a picture.” Fiona went over to the recliner to get her phone. She pulled up the picture and walked back to show Meg. “Look at all of them in a little row. Their stubby little tails crack me up.”
Meg tried to concentrate on the picture, but it was almost impossible with Fiona standing so close, their arms touching from shoulder to elbow, and the soft fabric of Fiona’s shirt caressing Meg’s skin. Her heart skipped a beat. Fiona had left the top half of her shirt unbuttoned. The glimpse of skin and a lacy pink bra had her attention, as did the subtle fragrance of bath oil wafting from Fiona’s scrubbed skin and wet hair. The tantalizing scent and view filled Meg’s senses, and she took it all in, captured in an aural web.
“Cute,” she managed to get out when Fiona shifted a little, breaking physical contact.
Fiona tossed her phone back onto the recliner and seemed to realize her shirt was unbuttoned past the bottom of her bra. “Sorry. Didn’t realize I was flashing you.” Pink crept across her cheeks as she buttoned up.
“I… I hadn’t noticed.” God she was a terrible liar. Did Fiona have any idea how sexy she was? She put the kitten in the box and stroked the others as Fiona went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
“You said you had a story to tell me.” Fiona looked at Meg with an expectant expression.
“I did?” What story? Meg struggled to respond as she tried not to stare down the path of skin and lace suddenly appearing before her as Fiona leaned towards her. What was she? Twelve? One glance at a woman in a towel and now her libido was going gangbusters! Her eyes moved around the room, landing on anything but Fiona’s cleavage.
“Yeah, when I asked why you were at the coffe
e shop on your day off.” Fiona, seeming to notice Meg’s distraction, looked down at her shirt, blushed, and buttoned another button. But not without a small smile.
“Oh, yeah,” Meg said, distracted. What were they talking about? Day off. Oh, yeah. Did she really want to go into it? She hated to be a gossip, but she had to tell someone about the stress at the apartment—besides, it helped tether her wandering eyes. “Things got a little out of hand at the apartment today.”
Fiona looked interested. “How so?”
“I told you I had a roommate, right?”
Fiona nodded.
“Well, she has a lover and…”
Fiona’s eyes grew big. “Did you walk in on them having…?”
Meg groaned. “Oh, God, no! Well… not with her and her lover. Not this time.”
Fiona gasped. “So, you have before and with someone else? Intriguing.”
Meg sighed. She was going to have to give the back-story now. “Vi had company this morning when I got home—and it wasn’t Sherri, her lover. So, I holed myself up in my room and started painting. After a while, I heard angry voices and a lot of noise. When I opened my door to see what was going on, Sherri was tossing clothes out into the hall. Then Vi’s overnight guest made a dash for the door, half-dressed.”
“Yikes! Uncomfortable!”
“A total understatement. I wanted to close my door and give them privacy, but I had to make sure no physical violence happened.”
“What was Vi doing?”
“She started to follow her guest, but only made it a few steps before she came back. It was so weird. One minute, Sherri was screaming and throwing stuff, and the next, Vi grabbed her and they started to make-out like teenagers. I honestly think they would have gone at it, right there in the open doorway, if the guy across the hall hadn’t opened his door. I think the other woman was gone by then, otherwise he would have had an eyeful. Then, they disappeared into Vi’s room. And the walls between Vi’s room and mine aren’t exactly soundproof.” Meg ducked her head and groaned.
“You poor thing!” Fiona tried to cover a laugh. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but it’s like a bad movie!”
“I’m afraid to go home.” Meg looked up through her eyelashes, only half-joking. “But now you see why the fireworks are off. At least the traditional ones.”
“Good one! I don’t blame you, though.”
Meg mirrored Fiona’s stance, and they stood there thinking their own thoughts for a moment.
“Suffice to say, that’s why I was at the coffee shop on my day off,” Meg said after a minute.
“Well, you can use the excuse of the kittens to stay the night again, if you want.”
“A very tempting offer.” Meg pretended to think it over. Excitement threaded down her spine, even though she’d be spending the night on the couch.
“Awesome!” Fiona pushed away from the counter and clapped her hands. “Slumber party! Besides, I’m lousy at night feedings.”
“Ah. I see how it is.” Meg joked. She’d feed and poop a million kittens to spend more time with her.
“I’ll bribe you with food. Pizza? And popcorn for hors d’oeuvres?”
Meg pretended to think it over. “I could go for some pizza and popcorn.”
“Grab something to drink from the fridge and I’ll place the order and pop the corn.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan.” Meg went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
45
“So… the whole thing about your roommates. How they went from fighting to… whatever. It’s so weird to me.” Fiona balanced her plate in one hand, tucking her legs under her. They were on the couch with their pizza and drinks—beer for Meg and water for Fiona—facing one another from either end, in what was starting to become their usual position. The music she’d put on played quietly in the background. So, this was what hanging out with a friend was like. In the past, hanging out for Fiona almost always included studying or watching her friends get drunk because they didn’t have to study. This was nice. Relaxing. Except she was more than a little turned on by Meg’s story. She shouldn’t be. It was kind of dysfunctional, what with the cheating and all, but it was a story about sex. Between two women. She couldn’t help herself.
Meg swallowed a bite of pizza. “It was pretty intense. Some couples need that, I guess.”
Fiona mulled it over. “I don’t get it.”
Meg grinned and raised an eyebrow. “Three words. Make. Up. Sex.”
Fiona blushed. “Seriously?”
“It’s the only thread keeping some couples together—Sherri and Vi, for example. I’ll bet they would’ve split up long ago if not for it.”
Fiona would never admit to her excitement. She blamed it on her whacked out hormones.
“But shouldn’t there have been an apology or something in-between?”
Meg lowered the slice of pizza she was about to bite into. “Come on. Haven’t you ever gone from fighting to fucking before?”
Heat crept up her neck. “I… well… um… no,” she stammered. Mischief flashed in Meg’s eyes. Fiona liked it and was afraid of it at the same time.
“Aw, come on. Everyone has.” Meg seemed to enjoy teasing her.
“Not everyone.” Fiona concentrated on her pizza. Her tone, more than the actual response, was probably a killjoy, but she suddenly felt exposed. She usually didn’t care what others thought. Meg was different, though.
“Did I get too personal?” Meg looked concerned.
Damn! It had been so chill and now she’d made it weird. Typical. “No. Not at all.” Fiona wanted to go back to a few minutes ago when they’d been laughing. “I’m sorry. You didn’t say anything wrong.” Fiona blew out a long breath and put down her pizza.
Meg looked like she was searching for a way to take the conversation back to neutral ground. “What they did wasn’t your run of the mill make up sex though. It was kind of rough. I’m not into it, which is why I ran away as soon as I could, but I don’t judge them if it’s their thing.” Meg tilted her head back, thinking. “I guess I do judge. But to each their own if they get off on it, it’s safe, and more than anything else, consensual. I have my thing and you probably have your thing. It’s all cool as long as everyone’s a willing participant, right?”
Meg was so cute trying to tie it all up in a nice little bow. But now Fiona was frustrated. Meg was making certain assumptions. Should she tell her?
She blew out a breath. Well, it was now or never. “The truth is—make-up sex, rough sex, bread-and-butter sex, whatever sex—I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never had it. And, honestly, I usually don’t care. I don’t even think about it. But lately—and I know it’s the hormones—I have been thinking about it. A lot.” She didn’t mean to sound angry, but it came out that way. She sighed. “And well… I got embarrassed about it. So, I’m the one who should be sorry.”
Meg looked completely taken by surprise. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed.” Disbelief clouded her expression. “Never?”
“Never. Not counting…” Fiona waved one of her hands to dismiss the thought. “But that definitely did not count.”
She ate some more of her pizza and tried not to look at Meg because she didn’t want to see pity or whatever sad reaction she might have. Besides, it was just sex for Christ’s sake. Why’d everyone want to make it into such a big deal?
When Meg didn’t respond, she snuck a peek. She was surprised to see anger.
“So—Mike? He talked you into your first time?”
She waved her hand. It wasn’t Mike’s fault. “It was consensual.”
Meg’s brow knitted even more. “But it was your first time.”
Fiona laughed self-consciously. “You make it sound like he stole my virginity or something. Virginity is a state of mind, not some prized possession or something.”
Me
g’s eyes darted back and forth like she was trying to figure out a good way to say her next words. “I didn’t say ‘virginity’. You’re right. But your first time with someone—your first time with anyone—is a special thing. It can be a romp in the hay, a way to blow off steam, or it can even be mind-boggling sex, but it should be the way you want it. Not a thing you do to get someone to stop begging you for it.” Meg’s hands were curled into fists.
Fiona hadn’t wanted to get into it. Her experience with Mike had been embarrassing, and if she had the choice to do it again, she wouldn’t do it. But, in a way, it had been as much a test for her as it had been for him. She pulled one of Meg’s hands into her lap and gently uncurled her fingers.
“Part of the reason I slept with him was to see if I could actually feel it.” Confusion clouded Meg’s face. “Not physically feel it, emotionally feel it.” Meg still looked confused. “After my parents died, I shut down. I channeled everything into school. My therapist said it was guilt about wanting to be with Tammy the night of the accident. I don’t know. But after than night I never felt that kind of excitement again.” Until now, she almost said, but bit it back. “So, when Mike asked me to have sex with him, I saw it as a way to see if I could turn it back on.”
“But you’re a lesbian. He’s a… man.”
She laughed. “Well, it wasn’t a perfect plan. I sort of figured my body might respond even if—.” She shook her head. “Anyway, not a perfect plan.”
Meg coughed. “You didn’t enjoy it?”
Fiona snorted. “Not even close. He tried. We both tried. Neither of us were into it. I’m surprised he even… well, you know.” Embarrassing.
Meg squeezed her hand. “Sorry I brought it up. It wasn’t any of my business.” She shook her head.
“You were just tripping on my sullied maidenhood,” Fiona joked. She’d spilled her secret to Meg and was relieved that she didn’t feel stupid anymore. It almost sounded more logical than she’d given herself credit for. She’d been so focused on having fallen pregnant, she hadn’t thought much about whether her experiment had worked. At a minimum, it proved she actually wasn’t into guys. Mike was hot, as well as sweet and considerate—to a point, anyway. And while her body hadn’t responded, it was definitely responding now. It had when she woke up beside Meg, and again when Meg told her the story of Vi and Sherri. She wasn’t dead inside.
Without a Net Page 20
