“Do you want to tell me what you’re learning in therapy?”
“In addition to finally dealing with a lot of issues stemming from my parents’ deaths, I realized I’m a bit of a control freak. And when I was faced with the very real possibility you might be with me out of some sense of chivalry—”
She sat up. “What? That’s absolutely not the case. I’m with you because—”
“Wait.” Fiona pushed Meg’s hair behind her ear. “When I thought you might be with me out of some sort of chivalry, I couldn’t stand it. There you were, with your life stretching out before you, and here I come and throw a baby into the mix to jack it all up.”
Meg wanted to argue, to say it wasn’t true, but she waited for Fiona to finish.
“The thought had crossed my mind before we ever went to Seattle, but all it took was your mother putting it into words for me to realize how selfish I was being. I couldn’t let you make the life I was facing become your life out of a misguided sense of responsibility.”
Meg almost did interrupt then. Fiona couldn’t have been further from the truth. But Fiona held up her hand.
“My therapist helped me understand it wasn’t my job to manage your decisions, though.”
Fiona was quiet for a moment after she finished.
“Is it okay for me to respond now?”
Fiona nodded.
“I respect what you’ve gone through to figure this stuff out. I really do. And your therapist is right. I need to make my own decisions.” Meg shifted so Fiona could see her face. “I never thought I would want kids. I didn’t think I was the nurturing kind of person it takes to successfully raise a kid. But, honestly, I never thought the decision would come up either, because, you know, the lesbian thing. And then I met you. At first I was all “Hell no!” when I found out you were pregnant. My intent was to help you out with the kittens and then maybe we would be friends or something. But something changed. I fell for you. Hard.” She traced her fingers down Fiona’s face. “And then I realized I kind of was the nurturing type. To be a good vet, you sort of have to be. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew it didn’t matter if I was the nurturing type. I wanted to be with you. I loved you. A kid is just a bonus, now. So, there you have it. I love you. I want to be with you. I need you to let me make the choice.”
Fiona’s eyes filled with tears, but Meg didn’t know if they were good or bad.
“Can you let me take the chance with you?” she asked.
Fiona nodded. “I don’t think I have a choice. I love you too much to not try. It would kill me to lose you again.”
Meg’s heart soared at the words. At the same time she hated to see Fiona look so fragile. “I’ve been so empty without you.”
Fiona gave her a half-smile. “Somehow, I’ve managed to continue getting out of bed—most mornings—but I haven’t been living. I always planned on seeing you again. You don’t think I’d move forty miles away and not come to see you, do you? I didn’t expect it so soon, but not a day has gone by since I moved here, that I haven’t had to talk myself out of getting into my car and driving to see you. But you’re here now. And I haven’t felt this good since the last day I saw you. You being here is… I can’t describe what I feel… it’s so big. Nothing can diminish what I feel for you, Meg… nothing.” Fiona’s voice was thick with emotion when she finished, and she gripped Meg’s arms so hard she left indents from her nails.
Fiona moved into her arms. “Where does all this leave us, Fiona? What do you want?” Meg whispered into Fiona’s hair.
“I want to be with you, Meg. I want to do whatever it takes to make us work,” Fiona said. “I hope you do, too.”
“Are you kidding?” She squeezed Fiona so hard, she was afraid for the baby and had to let go. “Yes, I want it. I want it more than anything.” Elation spread through her like sunshine. She shut her eyes and strummed her fingers over Fiona’s smooth skin, basking in the sheer happiness of it all.
She nearly jumped out of the bed when a heavy mass fell squarely onto her legs. She looked to see what was moving stealthily across the foot of the bed. A black cat with vivid green eyes stared warily at her from its crouching position tucked in the valley of bedding between hers and Fiona’s legs.
“Is that who I think it is?” she asked.
Fiona nodded. “Cardboard.” Fiona gently pulled the cat up to lie between them. The cat immediately shut his eyes and stretched out, unabashedly luxuriating in the feel of long scratches on his tummy while Fiona kissed his nose. “He’s normally a lot shier than this. He must remember you. His sister Molly is around here somewhere. She’ll be here soon. She can’t stand it when I give her brother any kind of attention… ah… there she is!” Fiona laughed as a white cat jumped onto the bed and walked over Meg to push her way between Fiona’s hand and the furry black tummy she was petting.
“You kept the kittens!” Meg took over the petting of Cardboard as Fiona nuzzled Molly.
“Just these two.”
“I think about them all the time. I wondered what happened to them,” Meg said, pushing her face into Cardboard’s belly. He purred contentedly.
“Betty adopted one, Maureen and Josh have two, and Tammy has another one,” Fiona explained. “Betty and Maureen were easy marks, but I almost had to threaten Tammy to take Venus de Milo. It was only a day or two before Milo became the center of her universe. Tammy’s finally fallen in love!”
Fiona and Meg played with the cats for a little while, before going downstairs to have some stew as the forecasted storm started to shake the storm windows. Meg called her mom, who was about to call the forest service, and told her she was home safely. She didn’t tell her mother where she was because she wanted to savor it for herself for a while before she got her family involved again. There would need to be some resolution in that area, but the main issue had been fixed.
After dinner they went back upstairs and made love until they were exhausted. Finally, the emotional impact of the day took its toll on them, and they fell asleep in one another’s arms.
*****
Sometime during the night, Fiona rolled over and Meg spooned her. Fiona relished the feeling of Meg being curled against her back with a hand protectively holding her belly. She placed her hand over Meg’s and savored the embrace she had gone to sleep craving for so many nights. She smiled as the baby kicked Meg’s hand so hard it moved under her own, and she almost giggled when Meg sleepily rubbed the spot where the baby had kicked, murmuring something unintelligible. When the baby’s kicks found her bladder, she quickly used the bathroom and came right back to snuggle in Meg’s waiting arms.
Meg’s voice was slurred. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
Meg squeezed her and a warm sense of peace settled over her as she drifted back to sleep.
The End
Also by Kimberly Cooper Griffin
Life in High Def
Chasing Mercury
Without a Net Page 39
