I make a face. “I was giving you a compliment back!”
“I know. But it was because you didn’t want to accept the one I gave.”
He rocks his hips, and I lose the ability to speak. “Oh fuck.” I hate the way he sees through me like I’m made of glass. Because he’s right. “Still, what I said was true.”
“So is what I said. Now grab your ankles.”
The way he says it, low and urgent with a tone that makes the whole world fall out underneath me, has me reaching to hold on to my ankles. I like this side of him, the dominant man beneath the kind one. He knows what he wants and how to make me scream, and I’m happy to let him do exactly that.
His hands fall on my thighs, holding me open further as he unleashes himself. Casey fucks me like it’s the last time he ever will. Impossibly, it can only get better from here as we learn more about each other.
My body is already hot, still sensitive from his mouth and fingers, and I’m shoved into overdrive immediately. He’s hitting deep, a place that makes me see stars and fire. There aren’t any words, just one long moan that comes from me. More of this. All of this. I don’t ever want it to end. Never. Please.
Casey’s eyes are dark fire. “I think we were at three.”
“I can’t have two more,” I breathe. “I can’t.”
“You sure?”
I shake my head. I’m never sure with him. He’s made me realize impossible things and unlock parts of myself that I barely knew existed. If he thinks he can wring two more orgasms out of me, he can.
He fucks me harder, drawing me up to the peak of pleasure where everything is sensitive and ready to fall when he pulls out of me. I shout with the loss, but he drops his mouth onto my clit in the next breath and now I’m shouting for an entirely different reason.
Casey’s tongue drags over my clit, and I’m on fire. Pleasure explodes up through my core, pleasure rupturing through me like a fucking volcano. I scream his name, try to reach for him, but he stops me. His big hands lock over mine on my ankles, keeping me spread as he ravages me with his tongue.
I can’t breathe, white light explodes behind my eyes as the orgasm fades and it feels so fucking good. And it just keeps going, that undercurrent of electricity still alive as Casey slams into me again. “Four,” he grunts out.
It’s going to happen. It’s inevitable. My body is too close to the edge, too overwhelmed to hold anything back. He fucks me hard and fast, until his rhythm falters. He’s close too, leaning forward so he can grind down into me, once again hitting my clit and lighting the spark that’s the end of it all.
He comes, heat filling me deep, and I come with him. We’re falling through a nova together, heat and pleasure all wrapped up in one. He releases my legs and nearly collapses on me, but I don’t care. I love his weight. I love the security of him on top of me, reminding me that he’s here. He’s not kissing my forehead and rolling away from me. I can’t imagine Casey every rolling away when touching me is an option.
And I fucking love that.
He’s breathing hard along with me, lips against my neck.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you.”
He grins, shifting to the side so he can hold me. Together we move so we’re under the blankets, and I’m so exhausted and so happy, because tonight I’m not going to have to sneak out and leave. My family knows exactly where I am, and I don’t give a shit about getting caught this time.
Sleep already has its hands on me, but I want to stay awake to enjoy this moment. Try to bask in the fact that I’m happy and have chosen. “I was wondering…”
“Yeah?”
“Tomorrow at the fireworks. Would you be interested in reliving that old memory? Doing it right this time.”
Casey laughs softly. “You stole my idea.”
“Hmm, I think it was my idea.”
“Maybe we had the same one.”
I tuck my head in close to his chest, closing my eyes. “You didn’t answer though.”
“Yes,” Casey says with a chuckle. “I’m more than happy to fuck you in the woods during the fireworks tomorrow. And since we’re not using condoms, no blackberry bush can fuck it up this time.”
“Good.”
The fireworks are on Christmas Eve every year. I’ll be here on Christmas. I’ll be with Casey for Christmas. “I need to get you a Christmas present.”
“No you don’t.”
“Why not?”
Casey’s hands drift down my spine, stroking in slow, relaxing circles. “You already got me the best present. I got you.”
“Does that mean I should wrap myself up in a bow and let you unwrap me?”
“I definitely wouldn’t say no to that. But I already have your Christmas present.”
I hit him lightly in the chest. “If I’m your Christmas present then you’re mine.”
“Too late. I got you something anyway.”
“How did you know that I’d still be here?”
He sighs. “I didn’t, but I hoped that you would be.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see tomorrow,” he kisses my hair. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you wait all the way till Christmas Day.”
I’m truly falling asleep now, that sinking feeling pulling me down into deep and luxurious darkness. “Not even a hint?” I ask. I think my words are slurring.
“No hints,” he whispers. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“It’s all the fun,” I say, running out of steam with my words.
Casey holds me just a little closer. “Sleep, Carley. You’ll know soon enough.”
19
Carley
Fireworks Night is everything that I remember and more. A light snow is falling by the time the sun sets, and the lights on the Christmas village glow cheerily. It’s so much bigger than I remember.
There are craftspeople from all over the state. Leather workers selling amazing handmade journals and wallets stamped with beautiful designs. Handmade pottery in every color of the rainbow. Local honey. As well as jewelry, art, and there are a lot of amazing delicacies for sale along with the potluck provided by everyone in the town.
This morning I moved my suitcase out of my parents’ house and into Casey’s. The kids can have the good bed, and I get to spend time with him. My mother watched me without speaking, but there was still judgement in her eyes.
But I no longer care. This morning I woke up happier than I’ve been in years, wrapped up in Casey. He had to get up at dawn to do the work of the farm along with the other employees. In the time I’ve been here, I have yet to see the people that work for Casey since they’ve all been gone by the time I was around. But I heard them in the yard putting the cows out to pasture as Casey was kissing me good morning.
“It’s Christmas Eve,” I said. “You should stay in bed.”
He laughed. “I’ll be back soon enough, you sleep.”
And I did, stretched out in Casey’s giant bed. Until he came back hours later and kissed me awake, carrying me downstairs—naked—to a breakfast he’d driven into town and picked up. Because he is still the world’s worst cook. I can live with that.
Now Casey’s arm is around my waist as we carry cups of thick, rich hot chocolate topped with whipped cream. We are definitely getting stares from all the people in town, but I can’t bring myself to worry about it. Yes, some people might call me names and terrible things because I walked out on my fiancé and was with Casey the next day. But those people don’t know the whole story and don’t understand that my relationship with Tyler had already been over for a long time.
Mrs. Harlowe approaches us. She’s got a box of those amazing cookies and she’s handing them out to anyone who wants one. I do before they’re gone. Even if we still have the entire box at Casey’s house.
There’s a glint in her eye. “I thought I saw something between you two when you stopped by my house. Glad to know that I was right.”
I blush, and Casey kisses my
cheek. “That’s right Mrs. Harlowe. I’ve tricked her into being with me. Who knows how long it will last?”
“Hey,” I smack my arm. “You didn’t trick me.”
“Says who?” He swipes a finger through his whipped cream and brushes it across my lips as an excuse to kiss me fully. It’s our first kiss in public, and I find that I couldn’t care less. It still lights me up from my head to my toes, tingles of light dancing through me.
Mrs. Harlowe laughs. “Well I’m happy for both of you. It’s always nice to see young love. Take a cookie?”
“Absolutely,” I say, snagging one. “And thank you.”
I turn around to find Casey shaking my father’s hand. “Thank you,” he says. “For making my daughter see sense.”
“I’m pretty sure she did that all on her own, Mr. Farrell. I’m just lucky.”
My dad smiles at me and pulls me into a hug. “You okay?”
“I’m better than okay. I didn’t have a chance to thank you for last night.”
He laughs, a deep belly laugh that carries through the air and draws people’s eyes towards us. “You don’t have to thank me for that, sweetheart. That was an absolute pleasure and I’d do it again.”
“Good.” It’s amazing to know that he’s on my side. “Are you and Mom okay?”
He nods. “We’ll be fine. We had a long talk after you left. She’ll be okay, and so will you. It may take her some time to come around, but she will.”
“Okay.”
“Just enjoy the fireworks and try not to worry.”
The smile on my face is the same one that’s been there all day. “I don’t think anything could make me sad today. Truly.”
“I’m happy for you,” he says, hugging me close again. “He’s a good man.”
“He is.”
Chimes ring out over the fields. It’s almost time for the fireworks to start. Everyone starts making their way toward the big open space reserved for them. Part of me wants to watch them in full, but a greater part of me is brimming with excitement to very much not watch them.
Casey and I wait on the edge of the field, near to the woods, watching the whole town assemble and look upwards. There are kids running around and couples spreading out blankets, and I’m suddenly emotional being here again. It feels too perfect, and I want to remember this forever.
The music for the cows at the barn is on a timer, so it should be starting right about now, and one of the farmhands volunteered to watch the cows to make sure that they don’t spook anyway.
New music starts, pumped through speakers all around the field, and the first firework explodes above our heads. I watch, spellbound for a moment. It’s been forever, and they’re so beautiful. Gold and silver falling sparkles cascade over the trees. Absolutely gorgeous.
Casey squeezes my hand and pulls me away. I follow him. The sound of music and exploding fireworks are the backdrop for us picking through the forest to the same spot we went last time. A clearing surrounded by blackberry bushes, just branches in the winter.
It’s crazy déjà vu. We’re painted in glowing colors, washed over as every starburst appears. And I hold my breath as we sink to the ground, worried that it might not be the same.
But it’s so much better than I remember.
We come together with the same passion that we had as teenagers. The same way of barely removing our clothing enough for him to squeeze inside me. The same fervent kisses to the rhythm of exploding stars.
I love him so much I can’t breathe, and when we come, we come together, shuddering in pleasure. And this time nothing will come between us after.
“Maybe we should do this every year.”
“Maybe,” he says with a smile. “It’s a good tradition.”
I sigh, staring up at the sky and watching the colors dance.
“I promised you your present today, remember?”
The memory comes rushing back. “Oh my God, I was so sleepy that I forgot! You brought it with you?”
“I did.”
Casey pulls me up off the ground so that I’m sitting, and he reaches inside his jacket. It’s only a second later that he’s kneeling in front of me. On one knee. “Oh my God.”
“Carley Farrell,” he says. “I know you just got out of an engagement. So if you’re not ready for this, I understand. But I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I’ve wanted that for as long as I can remember. No matter how long it takes, I’ll be there. I’m telling you now that I want you forever, no matter what.” He opens the small box that’s in his hand. “But I’m asking you now to marry me. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Yes.” The word flies out of my mouth almost as soon as he’s done speaking. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I don’t need time. I want you forever too.”
I launch myself at him, and he catches me, kissing me hard. And then I’m laughing. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Bar none.
“That’s the best fucking Christmas present you ever could have gotten me,” I say. “You’re never going to top this.”
He smiles and slips the ring on my finger. “That doesn’t mean that I won’t stop trying.” I look down at the ring, a small cluster of diamonds on a silver band of flowers and swirls. “It belonged to my mother,” he says softly. “And my parents were the happiest couple I knew. I’m hoping that we’re as happy as they were in that house for the rest of their lives.”
Tears fill my eyes, and he kisses me one more time. “Should we go watch the rest of the fireworks?”
I nod, and he leads me back through the woods, out into the field and nearby where my parents are both standing. I’m still smiling, and I can’t stop. My mom sees us coming and looks at our joined hands. She freezes when she sees the ring on that finger.
Slowly, she comes toward me, and pulls me into a hug. No words. Nothing. But she holds me fiercely before retreating and tucking herself under my father’s arm.
I’m trying not to cry. I’m overwhelmed with emotion and the perfection of this moment. This wasn’t the trip that I had planned, but it’s exactly the trip that I needed.
Casey wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. We sway to the music and watch the lights fill the sky. For a moment I close my eyes, leaning back into his embrace. “I love you,” he whispers in my ear.
I smile. “I love you too.”
Epilogue
Carley
One Year Later
I curl up on the swing on the porch, wrapped up in our thickest quilt. It’s been a particularly cold winter so far, and even with the heater on full blast, it’s still chilly.
The music starts to play from the barn, blaring classical music. Everything should go to plan so the cows will be fine again this year. But some of the younger ones are still nervous, so we decided to stay close by this year just in case.
This year, too, the festival at the Christmas village went all day, and Casey and I had our fill of walking around and eating the treats. Especially the amazing hot chocolate that I’m absolutely addicted to. It was a beautiful clear day, and we thought about going back to the woods this year and continuing our tradition, but I’m happy to be home. Away from our still inquisitive neighbors and curious eyes who are continuously looking to see if there’s any sign of us starting a family.
The first firework fires into the sky and explodes. It’s time.
Not even five minutes later, Casey joins me on the porch, pulling out his ear plugs.
“They okay?”
“Yeah, they seem good. Didn’t even flinch when the first one went off.”
I smile. “Perfect.”
Opening the quilt, Casey slips underneath it with me and puts his arm around my waist. His hand splays over my stomach as it usually does when we sit together yet. I’m not showing yet, and we want to keep the news as possible for as long as possible for obvious reasons. It won’t be practical to hide it forever, but for now it is our little secret. One that gives me a thrill of jo
y whenever I remember.
We don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl, and it doesn’t matter. I can imagine us having either and being completely blissed out either way. But I do want to know as soon as we can. I am too impatient to wait to be surprised.
Too much happened this year for me to want any more surprises. We didn’t waste any time with the wedding, a small ceremony surrounded by the budding mums. Of course we were the talk of the town, and everyone wondered if the shotgun wedding was like Jessica’s because I was already pregnant.
The truth was that we just knew. I’d spent four years engaged to the wrong person and neither of us wanted to do that. We were it for each other, there was no point in waiting longer.
The whole town showed up, even though they were only invited to the reception. It had been a beautiful day in May, and the whole thing was sunny and shiny in my mind. Every person we knew and some we didn’t wished us well and brought us gifts and food and flowers. The house was nearly buried with all the well wishes from Elgin.
But the highlight of the day was Casey. When he slid that ring on my finger and said I do. My heart had never been so full. I couldn’t stop crying happy tears as he kissed me. Even through the reception and cake, I only had eyes for him. He was mine. I couldn’t believe it.
I still can’t believe it.
Casey swept me away to a honeymoon in New York City—a big city with no bad memories for either of us, and enough to do to keep us busy. It gave us both a little taste of the city. But it was so wonderful and so exhausting that we were both relieved to come home.
To our house. My heart warms whenever I think about it that way. Our house.
Casey gave me a blank check to redo the kitchen however I wanted, and banished himself from the room entirely. I laughed at that for a long time, and didn’t change a thing. Except to fill the house with plants that I actually keep alive. Casey loves them.
Big Man’s Happily Ever After Page 47
