“I expected something from you that I shouldn’t have. That’s on me. My mistake.”
“Mistake…” He nodded. “Good to know.”
“Listen, I don’t want to argue with you. I wasn’t even going to bring it up. You showed up over here and asked me to tell you what was going on. So, here we are.” I threw my hands up in the air and let them crash down.
“I knew this was a bad idea,” he muttered, his frustration evident.
“What was a bad idea?”
“This.”
I recoiled, giving him a look. “You asked me what was going on, so I tell you and your response is that you knew this was a bad idea? Really?”
“Yes, really,” he growled.
“Wow…” I took a step forward to ensure he could see the seriousness in my eyes. “Maybe you should go.”
“Yeah, I think so, too.” He shrugged. “Like I said, this was a bad idea.”
I put my hands on my hips. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I shouldn’t have come here tonight.”
“So, why did you?” My voice was louder, firmer.
He didn’t immediately respond. He looked at me in that way that pierced me to my core. “Because I…” His sentence trailed off.
My heart pounded. “Because you what?”
He shifted his gaze away from me. “Because I wasn’t thinking.”
“Me either, apparently.”
We stared at each other wordlessly. The stillness settled around us, and my eyes pricked with tears. The conversation took a turn I wasn’t expecting, and whatever was happening between us wasn’t rooted in anger. But for whatever reason, we just kept triggering one another.
I took a breath. “Luca, I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I don’t want to fight with you either.”
“Okay—”
Turning his back to me, Luca interrupted, “Take it easy, Serena.”
Stunned, I stood there in shock as he pulled his keys from his jacket pocket. As I watched him walk away, I found my voice. “Yeah, you too, Luca.”
I turned on my heel and stormed off. Each step I took felt like my feet were made of lead. Even though it was heavy, my heart rattled in my chest. I walked into my apartment and collapsed on the couch.
Our professional relationship was intact when I left the apartment, but when I came back in, it didn’t even seem like that was left.
“What the hell happened?” I murmured aloud, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
I sent Vanessa a quick text that simply stated that it didn’t go well. It was an understatement, but I knew if I divulged everything that happened, she would’ve come over. She would’ve tried to make me talk to see how I felt, but I didn’t know how to put what I felt into words without sounding delusion. There was something between me and Luca, and I couldn’t explain it. We’d spent every day for a week getting to know one another and it just felt different. I knew it wasn’t love—it was way too soon to be love—but it was something.
Two unruly tears streamed down my cheeks and an emptiness cracked open my chest. I pulled off my jacket just as there was a knock on my door.
I knew I should’ve waited to text her.
Vanessa and I were always there for one another, no exceptions. So, I should’ve assumed that no matter what I wrote in the text, she would show up for details.
Especially since Derrick was watching the game with his boys.
Quickly wiping my face, I scrambled to my feet. I checked myself out in the mirror and while my eyes were glassy, I didn’t look like I was crying. I did look sad though.
“I’m fine,” I assured her as I swung the door open.
My heart and breathing stopped. Grabbing the doorjamb, I kept myself from tipping over in shock.
“I couldn’t just leave things like that,” Luca started, his eyes boring into mine. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I mean, yeah… I um…” I stumbled over my words as I closed the door behind me. I was taken aback and wasn’t at all prepared to verbalize how I was feeling. He was arm’s length away and with the way he was staring at me, I just blurted it out. “I mean, it was the calling thing, but it was also how Saturday went down followed by the calling thing.”
“It was uncomfortable…?”
I hesitated because I didn’t know if he was asking me or telling me.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he continued. “That’s the last thing I wanted.”
I teetered between being lost in his presence and processing his words. The sincerity in his expression made my stomach flutter. “I just felt like there was something happening between us…”
His tongue ran along his bottom lip. “I felt it, too.” He stepped closer. “Do you still feel it?”
My eyes pinged around his face. When our eyes met again, something shifted. My sweater felt too hot, the air felt too thick, and my heart beat too quickly. With his question, the atmosphere between us had changed.
I cleared my throat. “That’s a complicated question,” I responded hesitantly, my vocal pitch sounding off.
“It’s not.” His brown eyes burned into mine as he closed the gap between us. “Do. You. Still. Feel it?”
The hurt I’d felt from his rejection kept me cautious, but the way he looked at me took my breath away. After seconds ticked by, I answered his question with a question. “Do you?”
“Yes.”
My skin heated before I fully registered what he’d said. I swallowed hard. “Is it just right now?”
“No.”
My stomach knotted as I stared at him. “You felt it at the shoot, too?”
“Yes.”
“Did you want to kiss me?”
“Yes.” He brought his hands up to cup my face.
My heart thumped loudly against my chest, and my eyes almost closed. My body flooded with desire the moment his fingertip touched my skin, and I shuddered.
“I still do want to kiss you,” he whispered, his thumbs lightly grazing my cheeks.
“Mm,” I breathed, unable to formulate a complete thought. I knew I had questions for him, and I knew I needed answers. But it felt like he was seducing me with the jolts of pleasure his contact summoned beneath my skin.
With my back pressed against the door, my heart raced. I couldn’t walk away even if I wanted to. Our faces gravitated closer, and my lips parted instinctively. I took slow, shallow breaths as his mouth hovered over mine. If I moved a fraction of an inch, our lips would connect, and the thought of his lips touching mine made my skin hum with anticipation. The sexual tension that existed between us as we got to know one another culminated in that moment. For the second time, we hovered on the precipice of desire, and I couldn’t let the moment pass again.
So, I fell.
My eyelashes fluttered closed and my hands fisted his shirt. Pushing up on my toes, the sounds of the night dissipated into nothing as we kissed. We took our time, making each meeting of our lips more decadent than the one before it. The build-up, the argument, the sexual tension, and the fact that I missed him worked together to ignite the fire between us. What felt initially like a spark was stoked into a full-blown flame as his mouth moved over mine worshipfully. In turn, I expressed everything I’d felt for him without words. The kiss was intense yet delicate and I could feel him restraining himself. But when my tongue met his, his body pinned me against the door and a deep, rumbling moan vibrated through him.
After a minute, he tore himself away from me and took a couple of steps back. My lips and my body instantly longed for his touch. My eyes broke from his as I noticed that he was as turned on as I was. The bulge in his sweatpants let me know that I wasn’t imagining the pressure against my belly as he held me against the door.
Very, very nice, Mr. Romano... sheesh!
Licking my lips, I returned my eyes to his. My heightened arousal and internal salacious thoughts were no match for what I felt when he looked at me lik
e that.
Be still, my fucking heart.
“Serena,” he started, his voice low. “I’ve wanted to do that since dinner at District. It started as a business meeting, but as the night went on…” He looked as if he didn’t understand what was happening either. “I don’t know… it felt like… more.”
I nodded. “And then on Saturday…”
“On Saturday, I felt the same way. There’s something about you that I can’t shake.”
Although my heart skipped a beat hearing his words, he misunderstood what I was asking. I inhaled deeply and forced myself to ask the question. “So, what happened?” My voice was soft and tentative as I exposed myself. “We had a moment and then you just…” I lifted my arms and then let them drop, slapping my thighs. “It was different afterward.”
He licked his lips and took a step closer to me. “Honestly?”
“Always.”
“I just didn’t want anyone to see us together.”
What the fuck?
I felt like I’d been punched in my stomach. “What?” I even sounded as if the wind was knocked out of me.
“I didn’t want anyone to think we had something going on,” he clarified with his eyes dancing around my face.
The footsteps pounding the pavement dragged my attention away from the sting of Luca’s admission. “Oh, sorry!” Vanessa yelped, coming to a complete stop as soon as she noticed us. “I can come back.”
“No, it’s okay.” My voice cracked, and I was pretty sure everyone heard it. I glanced at Luca, but it hurt all over again, so I looked away. “Luca, this is my best friend, Vanessa Franklin. Vanessa, this is Luca Romano.”
Clearing his throat, he took a step back and extended a hand to her. “It’s very nice to meet you, Vanessa.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well,” she greeted him with a huge smile.
When she looked at me, I widened my eyes incrementally.
“I uh—need to talk to you, Serena. It’s urgent. It’s an emergency. I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” she said, linking her arm with mine. “I just need to speak with you right now.”
Forcing a smile on my face, I looked at Luca. “Thank you for your honesty.” I swallowed hard, opening my door. “I need to go, but thanks for stopping by. I’m sure the pictures turned out great. I mean, of course they did. You’re Luca Romano.”
His sexy jaw clenched as if he was refraining from saying something. But after his last admission, I knew I wasn’t emotionally in a space to hear anything else from him.
He held my gaze as Vanessa opened the door behind me. “Give me a call when you’re free.”
I nodded. “It’s uh—I’ll try. I um, I have my show on Saturday so it’s going to be crazy.”
“Okay, but I do want to finish this conversation. Call me,” he reiterated. “It was nice meeting you, Vanessa.” Even though he was speaking to her, he didn’t take his eyes off me. “Have a good night.”
“Have a good night,” I murmured, walking into my apartment on Vanessa’s heels.
As soon as she closed the door behind her, she exclaimed in a whisper, “What was that? Girl! He—”
I turned around to face her and as soon as I opened my mouth, the tears started to drop. “He said he didn’t want anyone to see us together.”
“What?!” Her eyes widened, and she rushed to my side. “No, he didn’t.”
I nodded, swiping at my face. “That’s verbatim what he said. I asked him what happened on Saturday, and he said he didn’t want anyone to see us together.”
She brought her hands to her mouth. “What?”
“And then to clarify, he said that he didn’t want anyone to think we were together.”
“What the fuck? No! What the actual fuck is that?”
I threw my hands up. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. I was in shock. And then you came and…” I shook my head. Choking back the emotion, I closed my eyes. “I felt like that’s what it was but hearing him say it was worse than I imagined it would be.”
“Did he say it was because of the rumors?”
“What else could it be?”
She was quiet. “I’m so sorry, Serena.”
Opening my eyes, I mustered a small smile. “I asked him for the truth, and he gave it to me. So, I can’t be mad.” I lifted my shoulders helplessly. “I’m hurt, but I’m not mad. I just hate that I got my feelings so caught up, so quickly.” My throat burned with unshed tears. “There was something there, Nessa. There was something. I-I really liked him.” I let out a humorless laugh and a tear fell. “I still like him...”
I wanted to tell her that I’d just had the kind of kiss that made knees weak and hearts aflutter, but I heard his words replay in my mind, crushing me. My mouth snapped shut and I let my sentence trail off.
“I know you like him.” Vanessa wrapped her arms around me, and I hugged her back. “And from the way he was looking at you, the feeling is mutual.”
“That’s what I thought too, but—”
Pulling out of the hug, she placed her hands on my shoulders and gave me a stern look. “No, listen to me. That man looks at you like Derrick looks at me. The feeling is mutual. I mean, come on. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter since he doesn’t want anyone to see us together.”
Just saying it gutted me, but I refused to let another tear fall.
“And for that, fuck him. But I just wanted to let you know that you weren’t alone in your feelings. I saw it, too. And any man who could walk away from you is an idiot anyway.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Nessa.”
“Fuck him.”
“Fuck him.”
Chapter Twelve
Dressed in custom robes, we stood in a circle, clapping after finishing a prayer backstage. My show was going to start in exactly one hour. The DJ started spinning the carefully cultivated mood music, and doors were officially opened for attendees to mingle and find their seats. I could hear people already in the audience, and I wanted to peek out to see who showed up early, but I knew I needed to stay focused. I’d gotten through the last few days by being singularly focused on my show. I threw myself into finalizing details and preparing for the official launch of my career in the fashion world. I was so busy. But I wasn’t busy enough that I didn’t think about him or that kiss.
“You ladies look amazing!” I squealed as I looked at their creative up-dos. “I’m proud of this line. I’m proud of Simply Serena. And I’m proud to have you walking in my very first fashion show. All of you who have been with me from the beginning, I appreciate it more than you know. Erin and Jada, thank you for stepping in last minute to walk tonight.” I looked around at everyone, my eyes welling with tears. “I couldn’t have picked a better group of people to surround me. Tonight, we will rip the runway and then after we change, we will celebrate in VIP at Savor!”
Giddiness and excitement rippled through the group at the prospect of being in VIP at the grand opening of the newest club in the area.
Shaking off the wave of emotions, I lifted my hands in the air. “Okay, okay. You have forty minutes to finish hair and make-up before we line up. Twenty minutes before showtime, I’ll do the final onceover and we’ll steam any wrinkles. I’ll go on stage and say my piece and then when I get back here, the music will start, and we will do everything as we rehearsed. Please get help to put on your outfits.” I pointed to four classmates wearing all black. “These volunteers are here to help so utilize them. Do not rip, stretch, or tear anything. Ask for help. The five of us are here!”
As everyone moved around, starting to get dressed, Kate came over in her all black outfit. Throwing her arms around me, she exclaimed, “I’m so proud of you! Tonight is going to be epic!”
“Thank you so much! And thank you for volunteering for my show.” I lowered my voice. “I would be freaking out if
you weren’t here.”
Everyone in our two-part Collection and Portfolio course had to complete a fashion show and volunteer to help in at least three others. While we had to put together a cohesive line that represented our fashion aesthetic, our grade was also dependent upon how well we assisted others during their shows. Kate was the first to sign up for mine. I made her my assistant director, and I looked forward to assisting with her show in December.
“Your line is incredible so even if I weren’t here, you’d have nothing to freak out about.” She tucked her blondish brown hair behind her ear and lowered her voice. “Except maybe that.” She gestured behind me.
I gave her a questioning look as I turned around to investigate what she was talking about.
“Talk about a show stopper,” Kate giggled from behind me. “I’m going to go help Jess with her makeup.”
I heard her, but I didn’t respond because I was trying to figure out who was doing security.
“How did you get back here?” I questioned as I marched over to him halfway hiding behind a piece of panel that was left from Friday’s fashion show.
Marcus shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “I told the guy I wanted to wish you luck, and he let me through. He had the female security guard come back here first to make sure everyone was dressed.”
Fortunately, I’d put up a makeshift dressing area for the models who wanted privacy, but the fact that security was just letting people through was concerning. I looked around in annoyance. “And he just let you in?”
“He said I brought this school a championship, so…” His sentence trailed off.
Damn basketball fan.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. “That is something I’ll have to take care of because I definitely told them no visitors. My parents aren’t even back here!” Opening my eyes, I exhaled loudly. “This is a big night for me. What do you want?”
“Well, looking at you in this robe is making me want you.”
My lip curled in disgust. “And I mean this with all disrespect: go to hell.”
“Don’t be like that, Serena.”
“Goodbye, Marcus.”
I turned on my heel, ready to storm off, but he grabbed my wrist.
Cuffing Season Page 13
