“I’m sorry,” she replied simply
“Don’t worry about it. Maybe I’ll grow on you if I hang around long enough.”
Ashley couldn’t help but laugh, “You make yourself sound like a fungus.”
“Well, I’m going to go before I’m tempted to tell any jokes about what a fungi I am.”
“Ha ha. I’ve heard every mycology joke there is.”
“Nerd alert. Myco-what?”
“Hey, you knew I was a biology major. Mycology is the study of fungi.”
“Well, you can study me anytime.” He flashed a crooked, apologetic smile for the lame pun and walked to the front door. Ashley followed him and watched as he put his hand on the doorknob. “I’ll see you at church tomorrow?”
She nodded and smiled.
He hesitated a few seconds, searching her face, and then said, “Good night.” He was gone
quickly, and Ashley watched his quick, athletic stride as he walked across the lawn to his house. She turned out the Christmas lights and walked slowly through the dark house to her room.
Chapter 6
A Thrill of Hope
When Ashley’s alarm clock woke her up, she turned it off and studied it, confused. After a few seconds of fuzzy concentration, she realized that it was Sunday. Unfortunately, she also realized that she must have hit the snooze button a few times. She’d better hurry if she wanted to eat breakfast before she had to shower and get ready.
Downstairs, she ate a bagel and drank some orange juice at the kitchen table with Shawn, who had already eaten one bowl of cereal and was beginning on another as she sat down. Their mom, who had been up for some time and was already dressed in a festive red dress, came in and told them they’d better hurry up if they planned to ride with her. Ashley wondered where her dad was and then realized that he must have already left. He was in the Bishopric and probably had meetings before church.
She showered quickly, desperately trying not to nick herself as she shaved her legs in a hurry. She dried her hair, fixed it, and put her makeup on at supersonic speed. It took effort, but because it was the Sabbath, she refrained from yelling at Shawn when he hollered through her door that she was taking forever.
She threw on a knee length black skirt with a small ruffle around the hem and a pretty turquoise sweater. She pulled on some thick trouser socks to keep her feet warm and ran down stairs carrying her purse, her black wool coat, and her black knee high boots. She was barely able to sit down on the couch and pull on her boots before Shawn pulled her out the door after their mom.
Ashley complained as she put her lip gloss on in the car, that she didn’t know what all the rush was for since they were going to get to church fifteen minutes early. Shawn explained that he had to get a handout copied in the library for his primary class. Ashley was about to tell him that he should have gotten this done ahead of time when her mom said, “Besides Ashley, I always enjoy listening to the prelude music at Christmas time.”
“Well, why couldn’t Shawn have driven himself?”
“Because my car is practically on empty,” he told her. “You have a car. You didn’t have to come with us.”
“I didn’t want to go by myself my first Sunday back.”
“Well, you aren’t, so everyone is getting what they want. No problem, right?”
Ashley felt like grumbling some more, but conceded his point by saying, “I guess.”
When they arrived at the church, Shawn immediately went to the library, but Ashley and her mom went to find seats in the chapel. As they came in, she had to agree that the organist was playing beautifully. Ashley and her mom sat down in an empty pew and listened to the beautiful Christmas hymns.
Occasionally, someone would come up to them to shake hands and say hello. It had been a while since Ashley had been to church in the ward where she grew up. Everyone who stopped wanted to know how she was doing, and said they hoped to talk to her later. She had a feeling that she would be talking a lot about her schooling and plans for the future later today. She wished that she had something to tell them so that she wouldn’t sound like the bum she was.
About five minutes before the meeting started, Shawn came in and sat beside them. Ashley tried to glance unobtrusively around the chapel when she had a chance in case she had missed seeing Mark somewhere, though she doubted it. He wasn’t the kind of person that was easily overlooked.
Mark had said that he would see her at church this morning hadn’t he? But she was pretty sure that if he was in the chapel, he would have come over to say hello by now. Was he sick or out in the hall talking with someone? She had no way to know. All she could do was wait and hope that he would still show up.
Then her eye caught a motion near the door and her head turned automatically to see what it was. It was Mark, dressed in a dark suit and looking so good it wasn’t fair to the feminine sex. He stood still, looking around the chapel, somehow unaware that every pair of female eyes in the room was looking at him, despite age and marital status. You couldn’t help it. She certainly appreciated the sight and felt like kicking herself for not letting him kiss her last night. What was wrong with her anyway? Oh yeah. Derek.
She caught Mark’s eye and was immensely thrilled to see that it had been her face he’d been searching the room for. He smiled and came straight towards their pew. Their gazes held as he walked towards her.
He was so focused on her that when a lady stood up and stepped into the aisle ahead of him, he walked right into her. It was all Ashley could do not to laugh as Mark apologized with a charming smile and restored the bag that he’d made her drop. The lady smiled and assured him that she was fine. With one last apology, Mark turned back to Ashley, smiling but shame-faced over the accident.
“That was entertaining,” Ashley told him when he was standing next to them.
He grinned and said, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Then he greeted her mom, saying with cheerful formality, “Good morning, Sister Wright.”
“Good morning, Mark. Why don’t you sit with us today?”
“Thank you. I think I will. Especially since Shawn saved me a seat. Thanks, man.”
Ashley tore her eyes away from Mark in time to see the darting confusion on Shawn’s face, but he wasn’t slow. A grin spread over his face and he said, “No problem.” He stood up from his seat beside Ashley on the end of the pew and moved to sit on the other side of their mom. Mark sat down beside Ashley, taking up more room than Shawn had. She had barely been aware of Shawn sitting beside her, but everything in her responded to Mark’s close presence. He leaned towards her and murmured, “So, sleeping beauty, contrary to what the fairy tale says, I see you managed to wake up on your own.”
“It wasn’t easy,” she told him. “Apparently, I was more exhausted than I’d realized.”
There wasn’t time to say more though because the Bishop was standing at the pulpit to begin the meeting. Halfway through the opening hymn, there was a little bit of commotion as Justin and his family came into the chapel and settled into the empty pew in front of them. Justin and Kayla looked completely stressed out, but Daniel and Becca looked as cheerful as ever. Andrew was fussy however, and Justin ended up taking him out to the foyer before they even got settled in their seats. Ashley was appalled to realize that she hadn’t even noticed they were missing.
Ashley glanced at Mark, and caught a smile of amusement on his face. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “This is the third Sunday I’ve been here and they’ve been late every time.”
She couldn’t help but smile, though it wasn’t fair of him to make fun of them. “It isn’t exactly easy to get to church on time with little kids.”
“I know it’s not. There are four kids in my family, remember? And two of them are girls. If Justin thinks he’s got it rough now, wait until his little princess gets to be about 12 years old. I’ll never know what takes girls so long to get ready.”
Still fuming over the way Shawn had harassed h
er earlier, she didn’t take kindly to this statement. “Well, what took you so long this morning?” she managed to ask in a whisper before the opening prayer.
He looked surprised, but waited until the prayer was over be for he whispered back, “What do you mean? I got here on time.”
“Barely.”
He sat thoughtfully for a second while the Bishop gave a few announcements, and then he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “If I’d known you were so anxious to see me, I would have gotten here sooner.”
The only thing that spared her further humiliation was that Mark wasn’t looking at her to see her cheeks go pink. He was opening the hymn book for the Sacrament hymn. Ashley sang the hymn, but inwardly she was cringing at how she had inadvertently given herself away.
Despite this inner turmoil, she enjoyed Sacrament Meeting that day. It was a change from the student ward where she’d been for so long. She loved hearing the Primary children sing a special music number. Their voices were sweet, if not always on key. Many of the youngest kids didn’t know all the words, but that didn’t stop them from trying to sing the song. It was obvious from Daniel’s brooding face that he was only singing because he was being forced to by his mother, who was the primary chorister. Rebecca however sang out like a song bird and could occasionally be heard above all the others.
The talks were especially uplifting since they centered on the birth of the Savior. As she listened, the peace of the season filled her heart. All of her expectations for this Christmas were put into proper perspective. Some seemed unimportant and even selfish.
She had come home full of plans to make sure that every one of her family’s traditions were followed to the letter, to have Christmas songs playing constantly, and make sure this was a perfect holiday. True, she had so far been too distracted to pay much attention after all, but she felt that her attitude toward Christmas had been a little worldly, even if she hadn’t been focused on gifts and the commercial side of it.
The closing hymn was “Silent Night.” It had always been Ashley’s favorite of all the Christmas hymns. She could barely hear Mark singing beside her, because he sang softly, but she enjoyed listening to him. Of course, she would enjoy hearing him read the dictionary.
Ashley was glad that she could at least carry a tune, but that was the extent of her musical abilities. Neither she nor any of her brothers had inherited her mom’s excellent singing voice, so the only volume that came from their little section was contributed by her mom, Kayla, and Becca.
Of course, Becca couldn’t read yet, and the first verse was all she knew, so she had trouble on the next two verses. After trying to follow her mom’s lips, she gave up and just sang the words she knew over and over again as loud as she could. By the end of the hymn, everyone within hearing distance was having a hard time containing their laughter.
After the closing prayer, Mark stood up in the aisle and waited for Ashley to get up. She retrieved her purse from under the pew and was about to follow him when the lady behind them claimed her attention. It was Sister Whitmore, the mother of one of her childhood friends. Ashley felt that she needed to stay and talk to her, but she was anxious to join Mark. When her mom joined the conversation, Ashley got a chance to look around for him and saw that he was talking to the missionaries a short distance away.
Ashley was frustrated because it would have been natural to stand up and walk out together, but now she didn’t know what to do. She’d already embarrassed herself once today by looking too anxious to be with him.
“Well, I have to get to Primary,” Ashley heard her mom saying. “I lost track of time talking to you, Mary.” She was excusing herself to Sister Whitmore, Ashley realized, so she grabbed the excuse to go as well.
“Oh, Mom, is Sunday School still in the Relief Society room?”
“No, they moved it. I’ll show you where it is.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She turned to Sister Whitmore and said politely, “It’s great seeing you again.”
“Yes, I'm so glad that you'll be home for a while.” Sister Whitmore replied.
Ashley and her Mom smiled and turned to go. As they passed Mark, Ashley looked up at him and caught his eye. He couldn’t say anything to her because one of the missionaries was speaking to him, but he did wink at her and mouth the words, “I’ll be right there.”
A couple of minutes later, Ashley was seated in the gym on a hard metal chair next to her Dad, waiting for Sunday School to start. The rest of her family was busy with callings elsewhere, and she was surprised that her Dad had been able to come to Sunday School since she knew how busy the Bishopric was on Sundays. He was sitting sideways on his seat talking to someone behind him, and Ashley was talking to Bother Brody, a sweet elderly man who enjoyed discussing the Sunday School lesson even before the class started.
There was an empty seat next to Ashley on the aisle, which of course she hoped that Mark would sit in. Unfortunately, seats were getting scarce, so when someone asked to sit beside her, Ashley could hardly say no. It was Sister Myers, who had been one of Ashley’s primary teachers.
She quelled her disappointment and tried to talk pleasantly with her. Just before it was time for the class to begin, she saw Mark walk in.
Ashley saw him pause in mid-stride and look frustrated when he saw that there wasn’t an open seat beside her. She tried to let him know by her expression that she was sorry she hadn’t been able to save him a seat. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, but before he could even look around for another seat, Sister Myers said, “Ashley dear, you should have told me to sit somewhere else.” She stood up, but before she moved away, she leaned close to Ashley’s ear and whispered, “Believe me, I would have understood.”
Ashley protested immediately, “Oh, no, please. You don’t have to…”
“Don’t worry. I see a seat over by Sister Prescott.”
As Mark sat down, he said warmly, “I’ve always liked Sister Myers.”
“Always? As in for three weeks?”
“Well, it seems longer than that.”
Her Dad turned around and nodded a greeting to Mark as the teacher welcomed everyone to class. Ashley was thinking how nice it was to be sitting between two such great men, when someone opened the door and motioned her Dad out into the hall. She smiled to herself and shook her head. Oh well. She wasn’t really surprised.
Ashley hadn’t had a chance to dig her scriptures out of the trunk of her car that morning, so when class started and Mark realized that she didn’t have any, he offered to share his with her during the lesson. When he opened his Book of Mormon to the chapter they were discussing, she saw that it was highlighted profusely in every color of the rainbow.
“Very pretty,” she whispered.
He grinned and whispered, “Gee, thanks. I offer to share my scriptures and you make fun of them.”
“I wasn’t making fun. It’s pretty. Is it coded by subject?”
“Huh? No, I guess I just used whatever color I had at the time. I’ve had these since before my mission.”
“I’ll get you a pink pencil. It’s the only color missing,” she teased him.
“Shhh. Stop distracting me. I'm trying to listen,” he told her. He was grinning as he said it though, so she didn’t take him too seriously.
Ashley made a mental note to get him a pink colored pencil for Christmas. She tried to focus on the lesson then, and was doing very well at following along when Mark leaned back and put his arm around the back of her chair. He brushed her shoulder lightly with his fingers before resting his hand on the chair next to her. His wasn’t actually touching her, but it was near enough.
Talk about distracting someone.
She spent the rest of the class very aware that anyone who saw them would think they were a couple. Ashley couldn’t help but wonder if Mark realized that.
She desperately wished that she knew him well enough to gauge the extent of his feelings. Mark seemed too reserved and genuine to purposefully lead a girl on, but it was diffic
ult for her to believe that such an incredible man would have more than a passing interest in her.
When the class was over and it was time for them to go their separate ways, Ashley asked him, “Do you want to come over for dinner after church?”
A bright gleam flashed in his eyes. “Are you sure your mom won’t mind?”
Ashley considered what her mom’s reaction might be and didn’t hesitate to say, “I’m positive.”
“Then I’ll be there,” he promised. “Come on. I’ll walk you to Relief Society.”
They went out into the hall and soon became caught in a jam of people hurrying to class or stopping to talk. He walked with her to the door of the Relief Society room, not saying a word until he quietly murmured close to her ear, “I’ll see you later.”
She smiled and nodded, feeling shy with so many people watching them from the hallway and inside the Relief Society room. It wouldn’t be long before everyone was speculating about their relationship. She couldn’t blame them if they did though. Wasn’t she doing the same?
Before she moved to go find a seat, she glanced back through the doorway, hoping to catch one more glimpse of Mark, and saw an exquisite girl that she didn’t know stop him in the hall. The girl was tall and thin, with a figure that made Ashley wince and long legs that a dancer would envy. She stood playing with a strand of her strawberry blond hair, twirling it around her finger until she dropped it to touch Mark’s arm.
When she saw the playful gesture, Ashley’s heart stopped. She couldn’t see Mark’s reaction because his back was to her, but his posture seemed relaxed and he seemed to be in no hurry to move away. The girl looked exactly like the kind of girl that Ashley would have expected Mark to be dating, as completely different from herself as it was possible for someone of the same gender to be. Ashley felt a cold, sinking feeling in her stomach that refused to subside.
The girl never came into Relief Society, but she probably had a calling in Young Women’s or Primary. Ashley tried to assure herself that even if she didn’t, it wasn’t likely that Mark would skip priesthood to flirt with the unknown beauty. But she couldn’t control the insecurity and jealousy building within her because there was one thing she knew for sure - the girl definitely had her eye on Mark.
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