by J. J. McAvoy
The whole living room floor was covered with toys and baby items, but once we got to the hallway, I finally began to see how nice her place was. She had framed records of everything from the Beatles, to Led Zeppelin on her walls like photographs.
“Nice music,” I said when we stopped at the door.
“Thanks, I’m sort of a fanatic… here we are, the room of dresses past,” she said as she opened the door to a bedroom now doubling as a closet full of beautiful gowns.
Not just any dresses… dresses that I could not even fathom buying. When Levi had asked if I had any Armani or Gabbana dresses laying around, I thought he was crazy. I even later Googled how much those gown would cost and the cheapest one was almost four thousand dollars? Who would have those just ‘laying around’?
Apparently his little sister.
“My mother bought me dresses all year round before I got married in the hopes of classing me up. I just don’t have the heart to tell her that I’ve never worn any of them. Thank God you have boobs, or none of these would fit.”
These look like they cost much more than four thousand dollars…
“Bethan I can’t—”
“Levi said you’d be difficult,” she sighed. “He also said to remind you that have no other choice and to say…” She pulled out her phone from her pocket, “…would you really want to miss an event where all of your classmates will be trying to make a name for themselves?”
“Levi,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, a habit that I had only recently acquired from a certain someone.
“He’s in love, it’s kind of cute,” she laughed and my eyes widened at the word… unfortunately, she noticed. “Oh, you guys haven’t dropped the L word yet.”
I was going to have to get better at controlling my facial expressions.
“No did he say—”
“No, I just guessed. He’s just really happy. I don’t remember him being like this with his ex-wife. Which is why I just had to meet you.”
“And?”
What did she think so far?
“If you aren’t serious, don’t stay,” she said earnestly as she stood directly in front of me. “You’re beautiful, smart enough to get into Harvard Law, and earn his respect. He wouldn’t keep you as a student just because he was attracted to you. He’s serious about that sort of thing.
“Tristan told me he tried putting you through the wringer and you still fought to make it. So you’re strong to boot. Levi doesn’t have a chance in hell. He will stay with you to the end of time and back, it’s just the type of guy he is… until he gets hurt.”
“Like with his ex-wife.”
She nodded. “He wasn’t perfect, no guy really is. But what she did to him crushed him. So, if you aren’t serious… if you can’t fight for him as much as he’d fight for you, then please end it before he gets in any deeper.”
“I’m in deep too,” I muttered, the back of my throat dry. “I’ve been with a lot of guys. More than I’m proud of, really. Black, white, it doesn’t matter. They come, we have a good time, they go, and I move on. But with Levi, it’s like I’m rooted to the ground, and those roots grow stronger and deeper with each passing day.
“I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I want to fight for him. Which is why I need a dress, because even if your parents don’t yet know that we’re together, I still want to make a good first impression. I want them to like me.”
She grabbed a dress off one of the many racks. “Then let’s get started. When you walk into the room, no one will be able to forget you.”
I liked her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LEVI
Checking my watch for what had to be the tenth time that night, I found myself unable to contain my excitement. It was 9:30 p.m. All of my students were here, with the exception of Thea. Apparently, she had to go home for something and would take a taxi.
Five hours is more than enough, my ass.
She took forever in the morning. I could make a full breakfast, write a few emails and be on my second cup of coffee by the time she came downstairs. Yes, she looked beautiful, and yes I appreciated the amount of effort she put into beautifying herself for me, but some days it annoyed me to no end.
But then again, if she was perfect, that would tick me off more.
“You look tense,” Tristan said as he came over to me with a glass of champagne.
In his other hand, he held the handle for his sliver masquerade mask. Bethan was off making the rounds with their daughter.
“I’m fine.”
“She’ll be here soon, just focus on the other ones. Look at them, they even have business cards!” He laughed.
“What could possibly be on it?” I wondered. “They don’t even work anywhere.”
I chuckled, watching as Atticus Logan excitedly spoke to my father, and the rest of the old men. He wore a red masquerade mask that only covered his eyes, but even from here, I could tell it was him. The men all laughed along with him, nodding in earnest at whatever tale he was spinning.
“You’ve made their year with this,” he said to me as his gaze followed the other students who were doing their best to socialize and connect with future bosses… as Thea should have been doing. My eyes narrowed and I checked my watch again. Anyone who was anyone was here, even the mayor.
“It’s the least I can do for them, with all the crap that I’ll be throwing at them next week.”
If they didn’t hate me now, come next week that would change fast.
“She’s here,” he said looking at the entrance, and my head whipped back.
“Wow.”
It was the only word that my mind could form.
She wore a fitted, off-white ball grown, with gold lacing. Her mask matched her dress perfectly, and with each slow step forward, I wanted to take one towards her. I found myself doing just that when Tristan grabbed onto my arm.
“You can’t just go up to her. She isn’t your date, she’s your student,” he reminded me.
She searched through the crowd and I wondered if she could find me. I needed her to know that I at least saw her.
Come on, I thought as she searched through the crowd, until finally, her eyes caught mine. Her lips turned up in to a smile, and I winked at her before mouthing; You look beautiful.
I wanted to watch her forever, but just as I had noticed her, so did the rest of her classmates, Mr. Logan being the first one. I knew they were allies… friends now, but it still bothered me how familiar they were with each other, and how she could laugh with him so easily.
“Careful now, your jealousy is showing,” Tristan snickered, before taking a sip of his drink.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Levi, my boy!” My father called out over the music, and I could tell that the liquor had gotten to him already. He came over along with a few of his buddies and put his arm around me.
Oh no.
“Ladies and Gentleman,” he called out, then waited as the music slowly as the volume of the music slowly died down. “Ladies and Gentleman, I will proudly proclaim that my son, Levi Roman Black, is the best goddamn criminal attorney in the state of Massachusetts. And furthermore, to the sons-of bitches that I know will need his help later on… you’re welcome.”
They all cheered and laughed, raising their glass to me. My father turned to me and shook my hand before being pulled into the craziness of the night.
“Well that was cute,” Dr. Sharpay London, smiled with a glass to her lips. She was, as always, dressed to kill, in a blood red gown and black mask.
“Long time no see,” I greeted her.
“Too long,” she whispered. “Dance with me.”
It wasn’t a question.
She took my hand, dragging me to the center of the room.
“Sharpay…”
“It’s the least you can do, after leading me on, and letting me go,” she smiled as we waltzed.
“Forgive me,” I said to h
er, as I searched the dance floor for Thea. But it seemed as though more people had joined us on the floor, and I couldn’t find her through the dense crowd.
“Not until you take me out on a proper date.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” I said looking back at her. “I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“The it’s complicated girl?” she asked with a certain degree of annoyance in her voice. I spun her outwards and brought her back to me. “I thought you ended it.”
“More like a dramatic pause.”
Where was she?
“Is she the one you’re looking for?”
“No,” I said quickly, a little too quickly in fact.
Finally, I spotted Thea standing in a group talking to the rest of her classmates. I could allow myself to get closer to her now that other students were around.
“Sharpay, you are an attractive and successful woman. I’m sure any man would be more than happy to be with you—”
“Just not you.”
“Sorry.”
But the truth was that I wasn’t really sorry.
As the song came to an end, I turned away from her and headed towards the corner of the house. The closer I got, the better I could hear their conversation even without seeing their faces.
“How much do think this place is worth?”
“Ten million, easy.”
“Does it matter? None of us are making that any time soon.” Her voice reached my ears.
“Easy for you to say, you’re law royalty, I bet you grew up going to parties just like these. Just look at that dress. What’s your zip code?”
“I’m glad to hear that you’re all inspired,” I cut in before she could respond, and they all turned and backed away like I was Freddy Krueger.
“You’re scaring them, sweetheart,” my mother said, as she joined my side and looked them all over. “Though I do wonder,” she mused, “if they’re so intimidated by you, then they’re probably no good at work.”
I grinned inwardly, as I caught on to what she was doing. “They’re by far the worst class I’ve ever had.”
“Oh my!” she said with a fake gasp, but behind her mask, I knew she was smiling.
“We’re only as good as our teacher,” Thea spoke up, and they looked to her like she was insane.
“We must be pretty damn good then,” Atticus added.
“Oh we’re pretty badass,” Vivian said, and Thea raised both of her hands and high fived her comrade without even looking; it was almost as though they had planned it.
“Well congratulations to you three for having back bone,” my mother smiled, “Levi, show them no mercy—”
“Mercy? Professor Black? Ma’am, I’m sorry, but none of us know what you’re talking about,” Thea said, and a few of them fought back laughs.
I hadn’t noticed until now that with the exception of Vivian, she was the only female, and with her standing in the middle, throwing back everything we dished out to her, she looked like a queen.
“What’s your name?” my mother asked.
“Thea Cunning.”
“Wait,” my mother looked her over. “Would you by any chance happen to be the daughter of Margaret Cunning?”
Shit.
It looked as if someone had shot her through the heart. The pride, the joy, and everything she had been moments ago, shrank at the mention of her mother’s name. However, she didn’t drop her head; instead, she forced a smile.
“Yes, ma’am, I am. Did you know my mother?” she asked politely, not at all fazed.
No one else could see it, but the Thea from earlier has disappeared. The person smiling in front of us now was so foreign to me.
“Oh my goodness. It’s a small world. I had the pleasure of meeting your mother many times. She was a wonderful woman, and a brilliant lawyer. I’m so sorry to hear about her passing earlier on this year.”
“Mother, why don’t you go—”
“Honey!” she ignored me, calling over my father, “One of Levi’s students is Margaret Cunning’s daughter.”
Fuck.
“Thank God I’m out of the game,” he said as he came over. “The Cunning genes and mentoring from my son? The world doesn’t stand a chance! Your mother was a force to be reckoned with in court. I never won a single case against her.” He shook her hand, and it might as well have been a knife, but she accepted it graciously. “I can see it now… you look just like her. You’ll make a damned good lawyer.”
“Don’t give her too much praise. Ms. Cunning has to work her way up just like the rest of them, and she’s been slacking. Mr. Logan here has been on her heels since day one, and at the moment he’s a fine contender for the top place in the class,” I said as I tried to change the direction of the conversation.
Fortunately, it worked.
They all started talking animatedly... except for Thea. She took a step back, allowing the group to crowd in and surround my father, until she stood outside of the circle. No one seemed to notice or mind. She looked up to me and her eyes were dull. She gave me a fake smile, trying to convince me that she was okay, then she turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd.
I had to wait a moment, laughing along at jokes I didn’t even hear, and nodding at comments I couldn’t care less about, before finally excusing myself.
Following the direction she went in, I tried to not draw any attention to myself as I went up the stairs. I saw the tail end of her dress disappear around the corner as she went into one of the bathrooms.
Before the door could close completely, I slipped in behind her. She kicked off her shoes as she reached the vanity, and she was trying her best to breathe slowly.
“Breathe,” I said to her, pulling her into my arms, “just keep breathing.”
“I’m fine,” she stated forcefully, standing straight once again.
“You’re lying.” I kissed the side of her shoulder. “You can pretend for everyone else, but do not do it to me.”
I joined her side and together we sunk to the floor. I pulled her unto my lap, and her dress billowed out around us, providing us with our own private island of sorts. She rested her head on my chest and I ran my hand up and down her back.
“I did this to myself Levi. I knew who she was. I knew that I would run into people that would sing her praises. I stepped into her world, I’m following in her footsteps. I have to accept that. I can’t just break down when people say her name or talk about how great of a person she was.
“Sometimes I think I should just come out and say it, tell them who she really was. But if I did that, then I truly would be a disgrace; the daughter of a convict and an abusive mother… who wants to be known like that? I suffer because I’m too much of a coward to tell the truth. So I have to accept it. I thought I had done so well too. I could even force a smile, but I couldn’t force myself to stay,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be the girl that always crumbles, the one that always needs to be saved, especially in a life I chose for myself. I won’t.”
“What’s the point of being with someone if they can’t save you every once in a while?”
She shook her head. “I’ve never saved you.”
She really had no idea what she meant to me.
“You save me just by being here. I was miserable before you, and I didn’t even know it. That’s how deluded I was. The last four months have been the best of my life. And in,” I paused and checked my watch and my eyes went wide, “six seconds, I hope this New Year lives up to it.”
She looked up at me and kissed me.
“Five,” I counted.
Kiss.
“Four.”
Kiss.
“Three,”
Kiss.
“Two.”
Kiss.
“Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year,” she whispered back, and I closed the gap between us as the fireworks exploded right outside the window.
She broke away to look at them. As she gathered her dress in her ha
nds, she crawled further into my lap and nuzzled my neck. “We have the best spot in the house.”
“Yes we do.”
THEA
We had spent almost an hour in there, just watching the fireworks display, and after that, just talking. Interestingly enough, I couldn’t even remember what we talked about. All I remembered was how heavy my heart felt when he decided that we needed to get back.
Grabbing my shoes, he held the door open as I walked out.
“Oh my God,” I heard a short gasp to the left of us.
There stood Vivian, in her navy blue dress. Her eyes shot to me, then to Levi before she took off running back down the stairs.
“Shit.”
I dropped my shoes, hiked the length of my skirt up and ran after her. I could hear Levi calling out to me, but I didn’t care. I needed to stop her. Everyone was either to drunk, or too tired to notice us as we ran right past them and out the front door. I shivered at the cold of the pavement under my heels, but I didn’t stop running after her down Commonwealth Avenue.
“Vivian wait!” I yelled, when she reached the curb.
She turned around and spat with all the hate in the world directed at me, “Stay away from me!”
“Vivian—”
“You make me sick!” she screamed. “I do what I have to do because I don't I have any choice. My parents aren’t fancy, high-powered lawyers. I didn’t go to some Ivy League school. This is my shot. This is my moment to make something out of myself and help my family. So I strip. I dance half naked in front of men so I can go school, and I hate myself for it.
“This whole time I’ve been kicking myself whenever I’m near you because I wanted to be like you. I thought to myself, ‘Wow, here is a woman, a colored woman at that, who is at the top of her game, who is doing it the right way’. Low and behold, you’re screwing our professor! And you don’t even need to! Usted es repugnante!”
“Are you done?” I asked her, as she stood on the corner shaking with rage. She looked away without saying a word.
“When I found out what you do to put yourself through school, I never once thought less of you, and I never once thought of you as disgusting. You can judge me all you want, but you don’t know me. The ideal you had in your head of me is not something that I have to live up to. You can think whatever you want about me, I’m still going to be me.”
