by Jill Shalvis
“Okay.”
“Okay? What do you mean, okay? It was a yes or no question!”
“Oh, I thought you were making me an offer.” Caitlin plopped down on the floor and began working on unbuckling her complicated high-heeled sandals with shaking fingers that were not working. “But yes, please, let’s get drunk. That’s the only way I’m going to get through this day.”
“You no longer have a dress to wear. I think it’s a forgone conclusion, you’re not getting through this day, at least not on plan A.” Maze dropped to her knees in front of her, gently brushed Caitlin’s hands aside, and unbuckled the sandals for her. “We need a plan B, pronto.”
“Plan B,” Caitlin said. “Run like hell. I believe you suggested the window?”
Maze shook her head, looking shocked. “Why didn’t you get out of this sooner? Like any time before I had to spend two hundred bucks on this orange monstrosity?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how god-awful it was. And I don’t know! I’m not like you, Maze, I’ve never done anything impulsive in my life! And now there’s a whole bunch of people here. And cake.”
“Cat, honey.” Maze grabbed Caitlin’s hands and looked into her eyes. “Those aren’t reasons to get married when you’re not ready. Tell me this. Do you love him?”
Caitlin searched for the right words. “You know when Girl Scout cookie season starts? You love the Thin Mints so you buy like twelve boxes, but somewhere around box eight or nine you start to feel a little sick. Only you still press on because you paid five bucks a box. But somewhere around box ten, you never want to eat another Thin Mint again. Except you’re committed now, so you just plow through.”
Maze blinked. “Are you comparing Dillon to a box of Girl Scout cookies?”
“Yes, but specifically box ten.”
Maze stared at her. “He gave you a ring and you said yes.”
Caitlin sighed and massaged her already aching feet. Why had she chosen looks over comfort? She’d give just about anything for a pair of sneaks right now. “I know I said yes. He ticked off all the boxes. He’s got a good career and an involved family.”
Maze, kneeling in front of her in that horrid orange dress and a pair of beat-up red sneaks, stared up at Cat like she’d grown a second head.
“Okay,” Caitlin said, grimacing. “I just listened to what I said, and I heard it.”
“Good, because his mother’s so involved that she literally took over your wedding.”
“Can I have your sneakers?”
Without question, Maze kicked them off and handed them to Caitlin, which for some reason made her eyes fill with tears.
A knock sounded at the door and they both jerked around to stare at it.
“Honey?” came her mom’s voice. “Everything okay in there?”
Caitlin, who always knew what to do, found herself just gaping wide-eyed at Maze.
Thankfully, quick-thinking Maze calmly went to the door and opened it a crack. “Hey, so it turns out we need an extra few minutes here.”
“No problem,” Caitlin heard her mom say. “I’ll tell everyone. You two take your time.” She took a beat, lowered her voice. “Seriously. As in take as long as you need. You get me?”
Oh God, her mom knew. She knew and she approved . . .
Maze shut the door and raised a brow. “We’ve got an ally. Okay, babe, your call. What are we doing?”
Caitlin drew a deep breath. “There really are reasons why I like being with Dillon.”
“Name them.”
“He makes great coffee.” She searched for more. “Oh, and he’s really good in bed.”
“You do realize you just ranked his coffee-making skills above his sex skills, right?”
Caitlin sighed. “He was there for me when no one else was, and that means a lot. And,” she went on when Maze winced and opened her mouth, “I don’t blame you for not knowing. That was on me, not you. Please don’t feel bad for me, because I don’t. My point is that Dillon and I got close during a time when I was particularly vulnerable, which I hate to admit. And I really did think things were good between us, or at least had the potential to be good. But last night I watched you and Walker slow dancing after the rehearsal dinner, swaying in a loose embrace, staring at each other, and even from across the patio I could see how much he loves you. He kissed you, and his hands slid up your arms and cupped your face, and you nearly melted into a puddle. You probably would have, but he caught you and held on to you.” She shook her head. “I’ve never melted like that, not once. And I want to melt, Maze.”
Maze drew a shaky breath. “Look, I’m no example. Last night Walker asked me to get off the fence about us one way or the other. And the thing is, I want him. I want him for . . . forever, but did I tell him that? No. Because I’m stupid.”
“You’ll tell him. When you’re ready.”
“Yes. But I’ll probably wait too long and mess it all up, so please don’t use me as your ruler. And also, you’re still forgetting something vital when you list the reasons for marrying Dillon. The L-word. Pretty big omission, don’t you think?”
Starting to feel a little defensive, Caitlin stood up and shoved the torn wedding dress to her hips. “How relevant can it be when you can’t even say the word? Maybe I should take a page from your book and run from it at every turn. Or sit on the fence about it.”
“Hey, don’t turn this on me,” Maze said. “I can totally say it.”
“Yeah?” Caitlin tossed up her hands. “Then say it. Say ‘I love you, Cat.’”
Maze opened her mouth, hesitated, then closed her mouth, looking shocked. “Oh my God,” she finally said, shaking her head, putting a hand to her mouth. “What is that?”
“Told you!”
Maze’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you always have to be right?”
Caitlin went palms up. “I don’t know, probably the same reason you always run from love. We’re both so stubborn it makes us stupid.”
Maze stepped back like Caitlin had slapped her. “And why can’t you just let a person be who they are? We’re not all fixer-uppers, you know, Cat. Some of us are fine just as we are.”
Caitlin shoved her dress to the floor and punted it across the room.
“If you take off any more clothes, this conversation is over.”
Caitlin looked down at her white lace bra and undies. “Well, excuse me, but all I’ve got to put on is a short silk dressing robe. I need some more clothes. Why didn’t I think ahead?”
Maze sighed and shrugged out of her bridesmaid dress. “And you want to know what I know about the L-word? I know how to blow it up.” She threw her dress at Caitlin and it hit her in the face. “As you already know!”
Caitlin caught the dress and stared in regret at Maze, also now in nothing but her bra and undies. “That’s not true.”
Maze drew a deep breath. “Look, the truth is I do know things about . . . those three little words everyone likes so much. For example, I know it’s too easy to say for most, but I also know it’s almost impossible to follow through on. Think about it, Cat, how many people have followed through for you?”
She stared at Maze, who was standing there furious and worried in nothing but her undies because she’d literally given Caitlin the clothes off her back. “You,” she reminded her BFF softly. “Plus my mom, my dad, Walker, Heather, Michael . . . everyone, Maze.”
“Well, of course everyone follows through for you. You’re Caitlin effing Walsh. You’re sweet and kind and don’t make stupid choices.”
Caitlin lifted her hands and gestured to herself. Her half-naked self.
“Well, one mistake doesn’t count,” Maze said.
Caitlin stared at the stubborn, loyal, incredible, always honest Mayhem Maze and felt her heart melt. “You mean everything to me. I hope you know that. I love you, and I know damn well you love me back, even if you’re afraid to say it because love’s been hard on you.”
“I am not scared. Take that back.”
�
��So you’ve told Walker you love him then?”
“You know I haven’t.”
“Because you’re afraid he’s going to leave you.”
“That’s not why.”
“Why then?” Cat pushed.
Maze went hands on hips. “We don’t have time for this! Put my dress on.”
Caitlin shoved herself into the bridesmaid dress. It was a better fit than her wedding dress had been, mostly because she had breathing room. Well, except in the chest. Her breasts were bigger than Maze’s and still making a run for it, busting out of the thing.
“Uh . . .” Maze said, pointing to a nipple, which had escaped both the demi bra and the dress.
“Dammit.” Caitlin tucked herself back in. “I’ve got too much boob.”
“You’ve got great boobs, though they look bigger than I remember.”
“They should. I bought them.”
Maze gasped. “What? When?”
Caitlin shook her head. “Dillon’s dad’s best friend is a plastic surgeon. Look, I don’t want to talk about it. I want to get out of here. Now.”
“Are we going to go on your honeymoon to Bali?” Maze asked, sounding hopeful.
Caitlin both laughed and cried. “Just get dressed.”
“Problem,” Maze said. “I came here in that dress. I don’t have anything to put on.”
They both eyed the torn wedding dress on the floor.
Gritting her teeth, Maze stepped into it. Thanks to the new rip, the dress was open from neck to belly button, but otherwise it fit Maze’s enviable curves far better than it had Caitlin.
“Tell me you have a sweater I can pull over this so I don’t get arrested for indecent exposure,” Maze said.
Caitlin tossed her the pale champagne-colored cashmere cardigan that she’d planned on wearing if she got cold at the reception.
Maze pulled it on and buttoned it up, swearing the whole time.
Caitlin snorted out a laugh at her creative use of words, then covered her mouth, because she was about to walk away from a man she’d thought she loved. And damn if that didn’t kill her. How could she have believed this could work? Unlike Maze, Caitlin had always had a family at her back; she knew love, she should’ve followed her instincts. Now, for the first time in her life, she no longer trusted herself. It was shocking, honestly. She’d always been the rock, the steady one, but she was suddenly anything but. She looked at Maze, who’d never claimed to be steady or a rock. And yet here she was, helping Caitlin, standing at her back, willing to do whatever she needed.
“I’m ready.”
Maze met her gaze, her own very serious. “You know if you do this, if you run, and then later decide you were wrong, it’s never going to be the same. Trust me.”
Caitlin felt her throat close at the pain in Maze’s eyes. “I know. Can you go find Dillon for me? Ask him to come here? I need to see him before we go.”
“Of course. But I’m going to call for him, because . . .” Maze gestured to herself in the wedding gown.
“Right.” Caitlin handed over her phone.
Maze hit Dillon’s number and put the call on speaker.
“Hello?” a female voice answered.
Not Dillon.
Maze and Caitlin stared at each other.
“Hello?” Dillon’s mom said again. “Caitlin?”
Shit. “Yes,” Caitlin managed. “Hi. Um, can I talk to Dillon?”
“Now? With everyone waiting on you?”
Caitlin grimaced. “Yes, please.”
There was some rustling as presumably Dillon’s mom brought him his phone, and Caitlin’s heart skipped a beat. If he sounded even slightly devastated, she’d walk down the aisle. Sure, she didn’t have a dress, but she would find a way—
“Caitlin,” he said, not sounding devastated but . . . cool. Distant. “What are we doing?”
Caitlin closed her eyes.
“Is this about . . . the test?” he asked. “The one that you . . . didn’t pass?”
That he had to speak in code about this told her everything she needed to know. “Yes.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, Dillon. I love you, but it’s not enough. Not for me. I’m so sorry.”
There was a beat of silence, then maybe a sigh. “Can’t say I didn’t see this coming,” he finally said.
“Dillon?”
Nothing.
She stared at the phone, eyes swimming so that it was hard to see the screen. “What happened?”
Maze looked at the phone. “He disconnected.”
Caitlin sucked in a breath. “Please get me out of here.”
MAZE SWALLOWED HER fury at Dillon and nodded. “Text your parents, just so they don’t worry we were kidnapped or something.”
Caitlin nodded. “Honestly, I think they’ll be relieved. Let’s face it, Dillon will too once he thinks about it. He’s dodging a bullet.”
Maze nodded, though she was of the opinion that it was Caitlin doing the bullet dodging. “And Walker and Heather? We can’t just leave them.”
“I’ll do a group text,” Cat said.
Maze nodded, her heart squeezing at the thought of Walker. A good kind of squeeze. Last night after the wedding rehearsal, they’d gone to bed together and had a magical night. She’d woken up with a smile on her face that she could feel even now just beneath the surface.
Caitlin was right. Love did scare her. But she was starting to think that what she and Walker had could transcend her fears and her walls, that they might actually have a shot at something real.
“Oh my God. This isn’t happening,” Cat murmured, bent over at the waist, hands on her knees, hyperventilating. “Can’t. Breathe,” she gasped, like she might be less than a second from utter meltdown.
“Okay,” Maze said. “I’ve got you.” She pulled out her phone to text Walker herself so he’d know where she was and what was happening, knowing he’d be there for Heather and Cat’s parents. But her phone was dead. She looked around. No paper, no pen, nothing. She could hear Cat wheezing, the sound getting worse. They had to go, so she quickly grabbed Caitlin’s lipstick and turned to the mirror. She got out I’M SORRY before Caitlin grabbed her by the hand, her crazy eyes reminding her of Roly’s and Poly’s.
Maze squeezed Cat’s hand and eyed the door. Too risky. She pulled Cat to the window.
Unbelievably and thankfully, it opened easily, and better yet, no one was out there. Shelly had come through for them, buying them extra time. The woman was smart and there’d been a tone of understanding in her voice, telling Maze she wouldn’t be at all surprised at what they were up to.
“Hold on,” Caitlin said, and grabbed an unopened champagne bottle with each hand. “Okay.”
Maze looked into her eyes. “You’re sure, right?”
Caitlin climbed out the window.
Okay, so she was sure. Maze followed after her, and they ran—the bride in the bridesmaid gown and red sneakers, the bridesmaid in the wedding gown barefoot—through the parking lot.
“Where the hell did you park?” Caitlin asked, breathless.
“In the way back.”
“Why?”
“Because my car’s a bitch to start after it rains. Gotta dry off the distributor cap first and it’s embarrassing. You’ll see.”
At the car, Caitlin headed for the driver’s door. “This is my great escape. I get to drive.”
“You can’t breathe.”
“I can now.”
“Fine.” There was no time to argue with the crazy almost-bride anyway. Maze tossed her the keys, then ran to the hood and popped it open. She pried off the distributer cap. “Toss me the towel in the back seat!”
“Why?”
“Just do it!”
Caitlin tossed her the towel, and Maze dried the inside of the cap and disappeared under the hood again to put it back on. “Okay, start it!” she yelled, and Caitlin cranked the engine. It turned over just as Maze jumped into the passenger seat.
“You’re right,”
Cat said. “That was embarrassing.”
Maze had bigger problems. She couldn’t get the door to close, the wedding dress was too big. She started tugging yard after yard of white satin fabric in, swearing the air blue. Caitlin had to lean over her and add her two hands to the cause.
“Jesus,” Maze said breathlessly. “Remind me to never get married.”
“You’re already married.”
“Oh shit,” Maze said. “I keep forgetting. Drive!”
Caitlin hit the gas, the veil still attached to the top of her head, waving out the open window behind them. “I hope Officer Ramirez isn’t on duty.”
Maze winced as they took a turn on two wheels. “Slow down. We’re not Thelma and Louise.”
Caitlin laughed, and it sounded a little hysterical.
“Are you okay?” Maze asked worriedly.
“For the first time in months, I can take a deep breath. Remember when we were listing all the people who love me?”
“Yeah.”
“All those same people love you too, you know.”
“Thanks,” Maze said. “But we’re running away from your wedding, I’m wearing your wedding dress, and your veil just flew out onto the highway behind us. I think we should concentrate on you right now.”
“Yeah.” Cat sucked in a breath. “Is it bad that I know I made the right decision?”
“It’s good that you know. It’s good that you did it now instead of an hour from now.”
“Thanks for being with me,” Caitlin said softly, “for talking me through it.”
Maze shrugged. “Well, I am the master of doing stupid shit that you can never take back.”
Cat took one hand off the wheel and squeezed Maze’s. “We’re all still here, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, but only because you guys won’t go away.”
Cat smiled. “We are a stubborn lot. And hey, there’s one good thing to come out of this week. Us. We’re back together. Forever this time.”
Forever. It had a ring to it that Maze had never wanted before. But she wanted it now, desperately, and the realization formed a huge lump in her throat. “Where are we going?”
“I don’t know.” Cat’s expression crumpled. “Someplace that matters.”
Maze thought about it. “I know just the spot.”
