The Decameron, Volume II
Page 19
truth first by Pampinea and after her byFilomena. To which topic 'twere bootless to return: wherefore to thatwhich has been said touching the nature of wit I purpose but to add oneword, to remind you that its bite should be as a sheep's bite and not asa dog's; for if it bite like a dog, 'tis no longer wit but discourtesy.With which maxim the words of Madonna Oretta, and the apt reply of Cisti,accorded excellently. True indeed it is that if 'tis by way of retort,and one that has received a dog's bite gives the biter a like bite inreturn, it does not seem to be reprehensible, as otherwise it would havebeen. Wherefore one must consider how and when and on whom and likewisewhere one exercises one's wit. By ill observing which matters one of ourprelates did once upon a time receive no less shrewd a bite than he gave;as I will shew you in a short story.
While Messer Antonio d'Orso, a prelate both worthy and wise, was Bishopof Florence, there came thither a Catalan gentleman, Messer Dego dellaRatta by name, being King Ruberto's marshal. Now Dego being very goodlyof person, and inordinately fond of women, it so befell that of theladies of Florence she that he regarded with especial favour was the verybeautiful niece of a brother of the said bishop. And having learned thather husband, though of good family, was but a caitiff, and avaricious inthe last degree, he struck a bargain with him that he should lie onenight with the lady for five hundred florins of gold: whereupon he hadthe same number of popolins(1) of silver, which were then current,gilded, and having lain with the lady, albeit against her will, gave themto her husband. Which coming to be generally known, the caitiff husbandwas left with the loss and the laugh against him; and the bishop, like awise man, feigned to know nought of the affair. And so the bishop and themarshal being much together, it befell that on St. John's day, as theyrode side by side down the street whence they start to run the palio,(2)and took note of the ladies, the bishop espied a young gentlewoman, whomthis present pestilence has reft from us, Monna Nonna de' Pulci by name,a cousin of Messer Alesso Rinucci, whom you all must know; whom, for thatshe was lusty and fair, and of excellent discourse and a good courage,and but just settled with her husband in Porta San Piero, the bishoppresented to the marshal; and then, being close beside her, he laid hishand on the marshal's shoulder and said to her:--"Nonna, what thinkestthou of this gentleman? That thou mightst make a conquest of him?" Whichwords the lady resented as a jibe at her honour, and like to tarnish itin the eyes of those, who were not a few, in whose hearing they werespoken. Wherefore without bestowing a thought upon the vindication of herhonour, but being minded to return blow for blow, she retortedhastily:--"Perchance, Sir, he might not make a conquest of me; but if hedid so, I should want good money." The answer stung both the marshal andthe bishop to the quick, the one as contriver of the scurvy trick playedupon the bishop's brother in regard of his niece, the other as therebyoutraged in the person of his brother's niece; insomuch that they darednot look one another in the face, but took themselves off in shame andsilence, and said never a word more to her that day.
In such a case, then, the lady having received a bite, 'twas allowable inher wittily to return it.
(1) A coin of the same size and design as the fiorino d'oro, but worthonly two soldi.
(2) A sort of horse-race still in vogue at Siena.
NOVEL IV.
--Chichibio, cook to Currado Gianfigliazzi, owes his safety to a readyanswer, whereby he converts Currado's wrath into laughter, and evades theevil fate with which Currado had threatened him.--
Lauretta being now silent, all lauded Nonna to the skies; after whichNeifile received the queen's command to follow suit, and thus began:--
Albeit, loving ladies, ready wit not seldom ministers words apt andexcellent and congruous with the circumstances of the speakers, 'tis alsotrue that Fortune at times comes to the aid of the timid, andunexpectedly sets words upon the tongue, which in a quiet hour thespeaker could never have found for himself: the which 'tis my purpose toshew you by my story.
Currado Gianfigliazzi, as the eyes and ears of each of you may bearwitness, has ever been a noble citizen of our city, open-handed andmagnificent, and one that lived as a gentleman should with hounds andhawks, in which, to say nothing at present of more important matters, hefound unfailing delight. Now, having one day hard by Peretola despatcheda crane with one of his falcons, finding it young and plump, he sent itto his excellent cook, a Venetian, Chichibio by name, bidding him roastit for supper and make a dainty dish of it. Chichibio, who looked, as hewas, a very green-head, had dressed the crane, and set it to the fire andwas cooking it carefully, when, the bird being all but roasted, and thefumes of the cooking very strong, it so chanced that a girl, Brunetta byname, that lived in the same street, and of whom Chichibio was greatlyenamoured, came into the kitchen, and perceiving the smell and seeing thebird, began coaxing Chichibio to give her a thigh. By way of answerChichibio fell a singing:--"You get it not from me, Madam Brunetta, youget it not from me." Whereat Madam Brunetta was offended, and said tohim:--"By God, if thou givest it me not, thou shalt never have aught fromme to pleasure thee." In short there was not a little altercation; and inthe end Chichibio, fain not to vex his mistress, cut off one of thecrane's thighs, and gave it to her. So the bird was set before Curradoand some strangers that he had at table with him, and Currado, observingthat it had but one thigh, was surprised, and sent for Chichibio, anddemanded of him what was become of the missing thigh. Whereto themendacious Venetian answered readily:--"The crane, Sir, has but one thighand one leg." "What the devil?" rejoined Currado in a rage: "so the cranehas but one thigh and one leg? thinkst thou I never saw crane beforethis?" But Chichibio continued:--"'Tis even so as I say, Sir; and, soplease you, I will shew you that so it is in the living bird." Curradohad too much respect for his guests to pursue the topic; he onlysaid:--"Since thou promisest to shew me in the living bird what I havenever seen or heard tell of, I bid thee do so to-morrow, and I shall besatisfied, but if thou fail, I swear to thee by the body of Christ that Iwill serve thee so that thou shalt ruefully remember my name for the restof thy days."
No more was said of the matter that evening, but on the morrow, atdaybreak, Currado, who had by no means slept off his wrath, got up stillswelling therewith, and ordered his horses, mounted Chichibio on ahackney, and saying to him:--"We shall soon see which of us liedyesternight, thou or I," set off with him for a place where there wasmuch water, beside which there were always cranes to be seen about dawn.Chichibio, observing that Currado's ire was unabated, and knowing not howto bolster up his lie, rode by Currado's side in a state of the utmosttrepidation, and would gladly, had he been able, have taken to flight;but, as he might not, he glanced, now ahead, now aback, now aside, andsaw everywhere nought but cranes standing on two feet. However, as theyapproached the river, the very first thing they saw upon the bank was around dozen of cranes standing each and all on one foot, as is theirwont, when asleep. Which Chichibio presently pointed out to Currado,saying:--"Now may you see well enough, Sir, that 'tis true as I saidyesternight, that the crane has but one thigh and one leg; mark but howthey stand over there." Whereupon Currado:--"Wait," quoth he, "and I willshew thee that they have each thighs and legs twain." So, having drawn alittle nigher to them, he ejaculated, "Oho!" Which caused the cranes tobring each the other foot to the ground, and, after hopping a step ortwo, to take to flight. Currado then turned to Chichibio, saying:--"Hownow, rogue? art satisfied that the bird has thighs and legs twain?"Whereto Chichibio, all but beside himself with fear, made answer:--"Ay,Sir; but you cried not, oho! to our crane of yestereve: had you done so,it would have popped its other thigh and foot forth, as these have done."Which answer Currado so much relished, that, all his wrath changed tojollity and laughter:--"Chichibio," quoth he, "thou art right, indeed Iought to have so done."
Thus did Chichibio by his ready and jocund retort arrest impending evil,and make his peace with his master.
NOVEL V.
--Messer Forese da Rabatta and Master Giotto, the painter, journeyingtogether from Mugello, deride one another's scurvy appearance.--
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Neifile being silent, and the ladies having made very merry overChichibio's retort, Pamfilo at the queen's command thus spoke:--Dearestladies, if Fortune, as Pampinea has shewn us, does sometimes bidetreasures most rich of native worth in the obscurity of base occupations,so in like manner 'tis not seldom found that Nature has enshrinedprodigies of wit in the most ignoble of human forms. Whereof a notableexample is afforded by two of our citizens, of whom I purpose for a briefwhile to discourse. The one, Messer Forese da Rabatta by name, was shortand deformed of person and withal flat-cheeked and flat-nosed, insomuchthat never a Baroncio(1) had a visage so misshapen but his would haveshewed as hideous beside it; yet so conversant was